rachg82: (Adama/Roslin Oath kiss)
I don't think I've mentioned this here yet, but [livejournal.com profile] dosidella recently linked me to this site, which allows you to play old-school games like Dr. Mario & Donkey Kong online legally for free (no downloading required). I figured more than a few of you would be interested. So!

In other news:

-Rizzoli & Isles continues to be the gayest thing to ever happen to me. I'm saying. Gayer than my on-again, off-again WTFship with Amy. Gayer than RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo. Gayer than Ms. Jay teaching you how to smize. Gayer than all six seasons of The L Word, including that time Dana took a hit of acid and danced around on stage with Tegan & Sara. Okay, maybe not THAT gay, but pretty effing gay nonetheless )

-I don't have anything to say about Psych, Community, or Parks & Rec this week except to give all-around gold stars.

-Revenge is the crackiest shit that ever cracked.

-I'm still watching Castle, and I enjoyed it this week, though it made me wrack my brain trying to remember the name of the XF fic I read way back when which started out basically the same way. Oh, interwebz.

-Bones )

-I was thinking it'd be fun to do a poll here asking people to choose which three eps they'd use to introduce a newb to the fandom(s) of their choice, but then it was like -- um, I don't know what shows you'd pick or how much room you'd need for your answers. And then of course I could pick the shows, which is what I'm about to do, but creating a real, actual poll for that kind of dealio sounds like a lot of work. And see my mood icon? Right.

So, instead, here's a list of shows (I'm limiting myself to ten). You can share your answers in the comments (and feel free to add new fandoms of your own):

-Bones
-X Files
-Battlestar Galactica
-Buffy
-Angel
-Gilmore Girls
-My So-Called Life
-Community
-Parks & Rec
-Psych

I'll share my choices in my next entry, obviously.

In RL news:

-I made home-made GF mac & cheese tonight, and it was pretty dang good. If you'd handed it to me without telling me it was GF, I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

-Similarly, the GF rigatoni I had with B earlier this week tasted great as well. This is a big hoo-ray thing for me, because up until now I hadn't been able to find any good rice-based noodles, and it was very tragic.

-Aside from the cooking, I've been super lacking in motivation this week. One of those ~I don't want to do anything, say anything, move my body, or think~ situations. Where it's all you can do to get your dishes done, drag yourself to the store, etc. Like, writing this entry is an accomplishment. I missed my appointment with my psych today (though I'm still seeing my counselor tomorrow), spent a lot of time in bed for no reason, took forever to do anything or go anywhere, and yeah. I just feel stressed, I guess. And it's adding to the depression, so that sucks. I think I'm nervous about talking to my sister as well, especially after I reread the email she sent me (from when our uncle died) while I was working on my Year in Review post this week. It's like -- how much could she have changed in five or six months? And what caused her to change? How do I know she doesn't still feel that way underneath it all? How do I know it's not LIKELY she'll say that kind of stuff to me again soon? I'm going to talk to my counselor about it tomorrow, but in the meantime it's weighing on me.

And I think that's it. For my Vid of the Day, here's a lighthearted one by TaraGel:

rachg82: (scully going to oregon)
Let's start with a meme I snatched today from [livejournal.com profile] alias_jems:

List ten things that you love that begin with that letter and then post that list on your journal.

Last time I did this, I got the letter B. This time, I got R.

R is for cooookie…okay, not really )

And now for some randomness:

-I may not get the SNAP assistance money until October 18th. That's cool; I didn't want to eat anyway. *hates life*

In all seriousness, it's possible I'll get it before then--I've been hounding my caseworker, & she said she'd try to work on it today, but "can't guarantee" that--and I do have a little bit left in my checking account (under $40, I think), but I'd probably need to visit a food pantry too or something if not.

-Rent is late after today, and I still don't have an answer from unemployment. I need to go talk to my apartment manager about it again, though I don't know what to tell her in terms of when I can actually pay. My stress is to a point where it's almost like a body in shock -- it doesn't even seem real. I still feel almost completely paralyzed by it.

-I called & left a voicemail on my dad's cell on Sunday (they never gave me their new house # after moving this summer), asking him to pass along a Happy Birthday message to my brother & let him know he can call me back any time, that I'd love to talk to him. Have I heard back? Of course not. Not from my brother & not from my dad.

-No one probably cares, but it's my current re-discovered obsession, so just go with it: I finished the Donkey Kong Country series a while back, getting a 101% score on the first game, a 102% score on the second, and both a 103 & 105% score on the third (the latter requires a code getting rid of all halfway barrels, making the levels more difficult. I played it twice, once the normal way & once with the cheat). Now, I'm going through the old-school NES Mario games. I already beat the third one (plus Super Mario World) & am now moving backwards to the second. I played all these games like a fiend as a kid, but I don't remember if I actually ever beat the first two. I was pretty little then (I got my first NES at five years old -- my sister, stepbrother, and I all combined our Christmas money together to buy it), so my memories of those first couple games aren't as clear. Replaying the second one now is kind of a trip, really. It's definitely the weirdest & most random of the bunch.

-I've discovered a new TV love: Dark Matters. It's on the Science channel & is full of awesomeness. Like, they're all, "Don't you want to hear about the dude who stole Einstein's brain & then stuck it in his wife's mayo jar next to the pickles?" And I'm like, "UM, YEAH. HOW DID YOU KNOW."

-Since it's October, I'm already watching a ton of shit that will probably give me nightmares for years. A+, self. Seriously though, Paranormal Witness? *shudders* The whole first half of this episode (legit already dreamt about it last night) and also this one? Ahhh. AHHH.

I think that's it for now. I'm not gonna do a Vid of the Day this time because I already did some YouTubeing in this post, and I'm feeling lazy.
rachg82: (Booth/Bones superhero detectives)
It's unfortunate that my world is so full of stressful suck at the moment--October is normally one of my favorite months. I will say though that I enjoyed seeing my apartment manager's office covered in green cobwebs today (Why green? Mutant spiders, I'm guessing. Or because they have a secret desire for me to walk by & ask, "Going GREEN, are we? I hear that's big these days! OHH, RIMSHOT. WHO'S WITH ME"), not to mention all the Psych promos airing now for the upcoming 10/12 premiere. Which are basically making my entire life right now, just so y'all know. So much so that I had to pick a few favorites & embed them here (and by "a few", I mean five. Er). As one does )

…I really need some Psych icons. Seriously.

In other news, a new Bones promo popped up on the interwebz today as well. It's adorbs & much more promising imo than the previous promo they'd been showing. It can be found here.

In other, other news: I watched the first two eps (from the current season) of Castle tonight. YOU'RE WELCOME, FANDOM. Heh. I'll be honest and admit I'm totally biased against it--I do this with shows sometimes, hee. I did it with Buffy, for instance, for like years--and spend most of my time whenever I catch an ep mocking it in my head, but there's part of me that enjoys parts of it too. So I'll give it a bit more time and see if I warm up more. I reserve the right to keep mocking it internally though. No promises.

In other, other, other news: I'm still having a pretty rough time of it with my anxiety levels and SI issues, especially today. Like, kind of almost through the roof. I don't want to go into it in more detail than that though without a flocked post/trigger warning, but, yeah -- case in point as to why I could use some easy TV-induced happytimes even more so than usual atm. There've been a few times over the last week or so where I probably should've just called someone, like tonight for instance, but I just don't want to right now; I didn't even talk about it here the last time I self-injured, before today. What I do want is to have things be BETTER (no talking required, just ~magic~. Totally realistic). Get the food stamp money asap, find out what's up with unemployment (and have it be a positive result), pay my rent on time, figure out What I Want To Do next *without* the money-panic weighing me down, get used to my new counselor & new medication, and take things from there. I just, ugh, can't even talk about it more than that.

I did at least accomplish a couple things today though, despite the badness above. Ran a few errands (couldn't drag myself out in time for the ACA meeting, though. It took me a while to do anything. One of those "want to dig a hole & hide in it"-type days.), wrote a bit more for my fic, listened to a crapload of songs on YouTube, shook my fist in the air at Super Mario Bros. 2 & 3 (screw you, princess. Save yourself! I don't want your letters! Heh), and…okay, so that's not that much. But it felt like a lot. I was running on three hours sleep after waking up at 4 am from a nightmare. Really wish the recurring "someone showing up in my apartment" dreams would go the fuck away. aclieahogih CREEPY. I get out of bed & feel like I need to check the shadows & shit. So mental. Not that they'll stop me from probably watching a hot mess of horror movies/shows over the Halloween season, but shh.

Anyway, that's all for now as I should probably try to get to bed. Though I'll more likely try to beat my high score on Text Twist again, instead. But it's the thought that counts.

P.S. I'm behind on comments, but I do intend to try to catch up soon.

For my Vid of the Day, how's about I share three of the songs I listened to today? It's been a while since I did that. Behind the cut 'cause I'm considerate like that )
rachg82: (rizzoli matching puke outfits)
1. Just made a rice protein smoothie with those blueberries I bought at the Farmers Market, plus added rasberries, bananas, honey, & a combo of rice & almond milk. It was pretty much the biggity biggity bomb. Just so y'all know.

2. It's about time for an icon meme, methinks. Taken from [livejournal.com profile] torigates:



my answers )

3. Since tomorrow is Labor Day, I won't be working. As for today, I worked 6 am - 1 pm instead of the normal 6:35 am - 5:05 pm Sunday shift I would've had. It's amazing how short a seven-hour day feels when you're getting used to ten. Unfortunately, I won't get holiday pay since I don't qualify yet, but I'll be working a full day on Tuesday & a half-day on Wednesday to make up for it. I'll even get something like two hours of overtime pay, technically. I'll probably exhaust myself in the process, but whatevs. I really need money. Currently, I have something like thirty-odd dollars to last me the next two weeks. GOOD TIMES.

4. Speaking of work, behold my favorite customer quote of the day (re: the increasing absence of pay phones on the streets due to everyone getting cell phones): "I mean, where's Superman gonna change his clothes?"

Also, gotta love the 90 year old woman I helped get signed up today, who, when asked if she had an email address, was like, "What's that?" Cue me answering, "Email? You know, on the internet?" And her shouting (they always shout, haha), "Internet?! What?" And me again, like: "Um, internet…like on a computer?" And then her final response of, "OH, I DON'T HAVE ONE OF THOSE. I'M LUCKY IF I CAN FIGURE OUT MY TV, HONEY." Hee!

FYI: I heard yesterday that the oldest customer we have is 106. Apparently he's pretty with it, too. *106* (it bears repeating). I can't even. He would've been three when the Model T came out. And he has a cell phone before I do. Haha.

5. A lot of my flist has been doing this, most recently [livejournal.com profile] keenai, so I'll jump on the bandwagon. Here's my Fall/Winter TV Schedule )

That's all for tonight. For my Vid of the Day, let's celebrate the upcoming return of Community this month (not to mention season 2 coming out on DVD) with some awesome Abed quotes, edited together by tvgirl17:



ETA: I can't resist:

rachg82: (Adama/Roslin reading is sexy)
1. Here are my answers for that ship meme )

2. I was on hold with the unemployment agency for three--count them, THREE--hours today. Let me break it down for y'all:

First hour: Waiting, waiting, waiting -- whoops, my cordless phone died. SON OF A.

Second hour: Calling back on old school coiled-cord-having phone (bonus: it magically turns modern hold music into funky victrola jamz (not really)), waiting, waiting, almost falling asleep while waiting, waiting -- whoops, wrong department, ma'am! Let me transfer you…(nooo)

Third hour: Wait, wait, aaaand wait some more -- FINALLY GET SOMEONE ON THE LINE WHO CAN HELP.

I swear to the gods. BUT. Good news is they filed a new claim & did the benefit year fix-y thing, so I'll still get the same amount per week as before. For now, at least. I was so anxious during that call, though, can I just say. I've taken to repeating The Serenity Prayer to myself over the last few days, whenever my anxiety/stress levels start hitting the roof, and I definitely had to remind myself of it a couple times then.

3. I finally walked over to that call center up the street yesterday. The person I needed to talk to wasn't available, but I spoke with another guy who gave me the info I needed to apply online (which I did, once I arrived home). I was wicked nervous while talking to him/handing over my resume (my hand was like a pissed-off faultline), but I'm not really surprised by that. It's gonna be hard for me to suddenly be around a lot of people again (in new situations), but as long as the job itself is something I can do (physically & mentally/psychologically -- i.e. it's not something completely out of my comfort zone that's constantly inducing panic), then I know the rest will ease up some in time. The beginning is always the hardest part for me. I remember when I started at Xerox (and again, anytime I underwent a big change there), I was such an anxious wreck that I'd end up throwing up/getting sick in the restroom more days than not. SO miserable. But I got through it.

The online application process involved a few tests, too, e.g. one for math, one for your personality, etc. I haaaate when employers do the personality ones. Everything feels like a trick question, all, "Sooo, do you like people?" Like, what? Which people? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? Sometimes…I guess? Is that okay? I HATE YOU. You're "people". NOW WHAT.

(…I seem to be into capslock today. Don't mind me. This is what happens after three hours on hold & thinking shiny happy shippy thoughts for that meme. Now I'm simultaneously drained & hyper.)

Anyway, I didn't hear back from them yet, and I don't know if that's not a big deal or bad news, or what. We'll see.

4. Since I knew I wasn't going to be on the streets in the near future, I let myself buy some art supplies earlier. Two pads of paper (one for charcoal/pastels & one for wet media), a small set of paintbrushes, and watercolor paints. I'm used to using oils, but that means disposing of paint thinner & all that hassle, so I decided to branch out this time. We'll see how it goes.

5. I was supposed to get together with my friend last night, but for boring reasons I won't bore you guys with, it got pushed back to next week. I told her there'd be a cancellation fee if she does it again. Heh. MY TIME IS MONEY.

Aaand that's it for today. For my VotD, I'll cap off the vidspamming above with a bit more shippy-action (by Very987). This one combines a great episode with great music. Kinda can't go wrong, there.



ETA: Why is Mother Russia LJ making me have to repeatedly refresh the page to get embedded videos to appear? I do not approve!
rachg82: (Adama condition one in my pants)
So, I kind of felt like taking a small lj hiatus over the last few days, but it turns out that time passes really slowly when you're not working & have next to no social life. Hence, two or three days ends up feeling more like five. Meanwhile other people go weeks without showing up. Whatever though, I want to update now, so I'm going to.

This is gonna be a random one. (When is it not?)

-Hulu has season 2 of Arrested Development up for free right now, and I've slowly but surely been continuing my rewatch. Behold, the cracky results:

I'm gonna forever laugh at this Bones scene, now )

-As planned, I bought season 2 of FNL the other night, along with a smoothie. (mmm, smoothies) On a sidenote, there was a nice sunset while I was walking up there, and it gave me the idea of maybe buying some new paints. I've only been doing pastel & charcoal stuff for a while; it might be good to try some painting again. We'll see though. Oils are a pain in the ass to clean up.

Anyway, season 2 was only 15 eps long (because of the 2008 Writer's Strike), so I finished it in the span of two evenings.[/professional marathon champ] As always, I have some observations )

-I've been playing a lot of online games this week. Text Twist, Addiction Solitaire, and so on. Guess who can type up to 110 wpm with 94-96% accuracy? Oh, yes, that would be me. At least on TyperShark, anyway. Heh. BOOYAH.

-I missed my appointment with the naturopath again. Fail. Now I have to wait until Aug. 9th. Sigh.

-I'm still working on my BSG rewatch recap for the finale, but I decided to split it into more than one entry. That way it's not so picture heavy. As a bonus, that means I'm ready to post the first portion now.

Look at it like an opportunity to join the rewatch…without actually having to rewatch. Heh. Tastes great; less filling!

Daybreak Picspam/Recap: Part One )

And that's it for now! The second half should come relatively soon. Hope y'all enjoyed. I haven't watched SYTYCD yet tonight, so I'll talk about that later.

For my Vid of the Day, here's a fun & sweetly sentimental tribute to the cast & characters of BSG by Sczep84. This one makes me smile. I love these frakkers so much.

rachg82: (here for laura)
-I'm feeling especially sleepy & lazy right now. What I'd really like to do is plan an evening in front of the TV with pop & snacks, but nooo.

-There's an ACA meeting this afternoon, but there's also one on Monday evenings. I'd have to get ready in a hurry (and pay for a cab) to go to the one today without being late, so I'm kinda tempted to do the Monday one instead. Especially because public transit is more convenient on weekdays.

-I do however want to go somewhere today. I just don't want to rush. I'm thinking I'll make myself a sandwich for lunch, take a shower, and then bus it down to Portland. I can make a pitstop at Forest Park to finish [livejournal.com profile] gina227's photo meme question from way back & then take care of [livejournal.com profile] keenai's by hitting up Voodoo Doughnut. The one downtown is still closed for renovation, but dear God have I been craving their donuts something fierce lately, so I don't even care--I'll go to the NE one. And I can excuse the gluttony by having taken a walk. TADA.

-[livejournal.com profile] teachlikeroslin and [livejournal.com profile] scifi_mel have created their own Hot 25 lists as well, in case some of you missed them & would like to see. You can find them here & here.

-Big-ups to New York, y'all. I'm sure you've all heard the news by now, so I'll just say this: I really needed a big smile this week & they delivered.

-Many of you on my flist are bemoaning the late Fall premiere of Bones this year & wondering how you'll fill your time. Fortunately, you have me, the TV-obsessed oompa loompa who never tires of pimping new shows. May I suggest any of the following? )

-I worked on my fic a bit more last night. It still feels a lot like chipping away at a huge block of granite, but sometimes that's just how it goes. At least there's progress being made, albeit incredibly slowly. I guess on the bright side the longer summer hiatus means less of a hurry for things like this.

-I put a temporary halt to my BSG rewatch after my uncle's death (being at the end of s4, I think most of you will understand why), but I think I'm ready to jump back into it now, once my TV's working again that is. I only have a few eps left. Pretty sure the finale's gonna kill me, but I don't mean that in a bad way. It'll just be emotional because of the subject matter.

Anyway, I'm gonna get going now, before I can convince myself that napping would be a better way to spend the rest of the day.

For my VotD, here's an appropriately themed song:

rachg82: (frak this shit)
I have a special spammy treat for you guys tonight. My friend [livejournal.com profile] lytab5 has been doing her own Hot 25 list (based on afterellen.com's annual Hot 100), and seeing as there are few things I love more than staring at pretty pictures of pretty women, I decided to be a copycat & make one too. Since I also enjoy being difficult, however, I'm making it a Hot 26--for one, because it's my favorite number (what? Hee), and two, because I'm a cheating cheater. I may or may not have also squeezed in two or three women in the place of one for a couple of the numbers. WHAT. They're connected!

I could've done a bigger list, too, but even I hold myself to limits here SOMETIMES. Heh.

…that being said, my limits are kinda weak when faced with OMGGORGEOUSWOMEN, so I'm totes providing two pictures for each hottie. Aaand I'm posting all 26(-ish, haha) winnahs right now, all in one go. It'll be a ~smorgasbord of sexy~.

P.S. Some of these pics approach NSFW, as a heads-up. God bless photographers.

rachg82's Hot 26…ish )

Hope you guys enjoyed! If you want to make your own Hot 25 (or 26, hee) list, please do. It'd be fun to see everyone's picks.

For my Vid of the Day, let's do an Arrested Development one (by saxmankk) since I'm rewatching season 1 right now on teh interwebz (blessed Hulu) & thus spent most of last night giggling like a fool. Then I checked to see if there was any news about a possible movie & watched recent interviews on YouTube with the creator/cast confirming everyone's on board now & A SCRIPT IS CURRENTLY BEING WRITTEN. I don't want to get too excited before it's actually green-lit, BUT: STEVE HOLT!

rachg82: (tigh/ellen this calls for a drink)
You know this shiznit is going behind a spoiler cut:

Booooooooooones )

I'll end this with a song. I'm gonna go watch that ep again. And again. And then again again again. Heh. Also, Community + Parks & Rec. I'll talk about those next time.

rachg82: (annie dancing bones)
1. More photo meme funtimes, ahoy! Here's [livejournal.com profile] torigates' request: "I'd like to see your kitchen and inside your fridge", and here's the oh-so-fascinating result )

2. My dreams continue to be wack-ass weird. I mean, on one hand I'm still getting the predictable family dreams, so that part's sort of status: normal, but on top of that they've just been so damned ODD lately. I found myself in some cheesy horror movie last night, and the baddie was a green-skinned (like the Wicked Witch) chick who would pop up out of nowhere and, like, stab you with her nails and shit if you didn't do whatever she wanted. Plus she had some magical power to make men obsessed with her. That by itself wouldn't be so weird (for a dream), but then guess how I convinced her to chill out & leave this one kid in my mom's family room alone? Why, I brought in Freddy Krueger of course. And she was all, "I'm not like that, am I?" And I was like, "Well, you're kind of a jerk. I mean, no offense." Hee hee. Then she felt all bad & let the kid go.[/clearly I'm a hero in my head]

Oh, and I totally hardcore made out with her afterward. HAHA. I think she had normal skin by then though.

What the fuuuuuck.

3. I've been working on my fic more, and I'm having a much easier time with it now. It's good to have something positive to focus on.

4. You know how you have to choose a mood for each entry? I keep running into the issue lately where I don't know what mood I am. There's honestly so many different things I feel about various parts of my life right now, and sometimes it leaves me feeling sort of…~nothing~ all over. Like, a big question mark. I just don't know. I do know I feel a bit lost regarding what to hope for & do with everything right now. There's still a lot of hopelessness & disillusionment in me, which I just sort of try to ignore. There's pain & anxiety over family stuff. There's a sense of failure, and the rut I feel stuck in when it comes to jobs & schooling & RL friendships & weight loss & self-improvement and…yeah, pretty much everything. But there's also, hey, at least my living room & kitchen are clean. Like, that's good. And fic writing also makes me feel good when it's going well, and I have a new candle lit in here that smells nice, and the weather's finally becoming spring-like, so those things are all positive. I've gained weight, which bothers me enormously, but I'm still rational enough to know five pounds is not the end of the damned world, and it could quickly be lost by walking. I don't know, whatever. Some of you know my depression has been pretty stealthy lately, getting much worse at nighttime/when I'm not distracted, but I'm still here, aren't I? And I'm trying to figure out how to find a balance between cheering myself up & not pushing problematic feelings down so that they'll just inevitably come rushing up later, like, "Surprise! Thought we were gone? THINK AGAIN. NOW WE'RE EVEN WORSE." You know? Oy, stupid FEELINGS.

Okay, ramble over. I will add though that I would really like to try & go to an ACA meeting this weekend. I'd also like to take a walk in Forest Park. I don't know if I'll follow through though (largely because my new jeans still aren't hemmed, and my other stuff is crappy looking. It's hard enough getting myself to walk anywhere nearby right now, let alone go downtown where people look nicer. Common sense would tell me "just go freaking get your jeans hemmed then! And do some laundry, stupid!" but it's like RIDIC levels of hard when you're depressed to get off your ass & do anything physical, especially for me if it involves possibly seeing other people). So, I won't say I'm doing it for sure, but I'm at least thinking about it. If I can just get myself to bring those jeans to the cleaners, that'll probably make other things easier & provide more motivation.[/ramble over for real this time. Don't mind me as I write think outloud about stuff no one else in their right mind probably cares about.]

5. My DVR failed to record Parks & Rec + Community AGAIN this week. WTF, mate? I changed the settings though to allow for reruns as well now; maybe it was marking new eps as repeats & then ignoring them or something. *shakes fist*

It did however record Bones, thankfully. )

For my Vid of the Day, here's a fun Community tribute that I found today by bopradar. Makes me want to go rewatch all of season 1 all over again.

rachg82: (troy and abed bffs 4 eva)
Ahem, if I may have all of your attention:



[livejournal.com profile] nomnivore is one of my oldest & dearest online friends--I've known her since before this LJ even existed--and today is her birthday. She deserves a real gift basket, but alas, this virtual version will have to do.

Psst, hey, bb--remember when your name here and at meta was eternaltimtams, & I thought you were a guy named Tim because I'd never actually heard of Tim Tams? Ahh, memories.

In other news:

-This is my 999th post on livejournal. I'm thinking I'll have to do something sentimental & memory lane-ish for the 1,000th. OVER EIGHT AND A HALF YEARS, PEOPLE. If this journal were a human, it'd be learning long division & playing foursquare by now.

-My writer's block is easing up (the subject heading is a sneak peek, check it). I've changed around a few words & I no longer hate the beginning, though I'm still not totally satisfied with it either. But I don't feel like banging my head into a wall while looking at it now, so I feel like that's progress. I'd really like to finish this before the finale. I have no idea what the length will be like as I'm still just working on the first 1,000 pages & have a lot of ideas (some of which may be tossed/saved for a future story), but whatever. I'm just trying to go with it.

Since I'm into wasting time/distracting myself from RL concerns at the moment, I thought I'd share some randomness. cut to save space on your flists )

-[livejournal.com profile] torigates did this as a meme, and I thought it looked fun: ask me to take a picture of something, and I'll post it here. This is your chance to be nosy about my belongings or force my hermit ass to walk somewhere, whatever. Have at it.

-I dreamt last night about the following things: Abed serving me tea (I need to stop watching so much Community), a talking dog, & riding the Night Fury dragon from "How To Train Your Dragon" over an ocean. Oh, and I eventually turned into the giant boss dragon at the end & was all breathing fire at the cartoon Vikings. The best part, meanwhile? I was like (in my head), "Aw, I feel bad lighting this guy on fire! Buuuuut that's kinda my role here. What's a dragon gonna do?"

Finishing this off with a Vid of the Day, I realized tonight that I somehow missed So You Think You Can Dance performing to one of St. Vincent's songs last summer (I could've started my obsession then!), so let's share a clip of that, eh?

Also? While I'm on the subject, I'd love it if someone were to make a fanvid to that song (i.e. the one in the vid below--Paris is Burning) for either Angel (seasons 4/5 & the finale, in particular) or BSG.

Also, also? I'd love to see a Bones fanvid set to Marry Me or Marrow. Doooo itttt.

rachg82: (Cam Bones holding hands)
It is taking so much willpower not to read any of the sides for the end of this season. Want want waaaaaant. I know it'll be better if I stay away though, so that's what I'm doing. I still reserve the right to watch promo clips/read articles if I want, however. Those aren't as big a deal.

Meanwhile I'm sure no one even cares which spoilers I'm reading, but I'm going through one of those phases where my mind feels utterly stifled, & figuring out what to write & how to word it is like walking in cognitive slow-motion. The whole sit-and-stare action, y'know? I'm somehow both incredibly restless/uncomfortable (like, itchy, & my clothes/hair are bugging me, & ugh there's something in my eye, & my glasses are smudged right there, & sitting in this position is making my knee hurt, & my limbs are tired like dead weights, but I'm booooored and aimlessly nervous, but I don't want to do anything--not even move--and everything I write is wrong, and I feel blank, & UGH), yet numb & distant on the other hand, like I can't *wake up* & connect to what's around me. The default state got switched to silent & immobile, if that makes any sense (it's vague, I know). It's hard to explain.

I mean, like, for all of yesterday & today? I've wanted to update my lj, but every time I try--even now--I feel like deleting the entry, throwing my hands up in the air all "fuck it!", and then going back to bed to lie down & stare at the corner of my comforter for an hour. I'm sure some of it is my body adjusting to going off the topamax--I've been having similar side effects to what I experienced when first starting it, like paresthesia, etc--but it's also just how I get sometimes when depressed/stressed out/not eating enough. So, who knows.

Anyway, my point (at last) is I'm trying to just force myself to write. It doesn't have to be "right"--what does that even mean, anyway? God, I'm so mental--and it's okay if it's crappy. That being said, let me try to ramble at you all now for a minute:

1. I was looking for this fic the other day (I couldn't remember the author or title--only bits of the plot), and I told [livejournal.com profile] amilyn I'd rec it here once I found it, so voila: Delicate by ygrawn. Read it. It's good.

2. I did some hasty (i.e. nothing uber serious/meaningful, just freestyle whatever shit) artwork last night. It was done in an attempt to snap out of my ~vibrating frozen statue with oversensitive nerve endings from pent-up Anxiety Land~ mood, which obviously didn't totally work, but eh. At least it's expressing myself & being active, right? It's a good impulse to follow. I'll share the results now, just in case it's of interest to anyone. )

3. While I'm discussing music, I am currently in love with this remix. Also, I'd love it if someone were to make either a Faith/Buffy shipper vid (from Faith's POV, preferably) OR an "Emily Deschanel/Brennan is hot" vid to this song. That version, specifically.

4. The BSG rewatch continues. I'm up to "Valley of Darkness" & falling in love with the show all over again. Things I'm especially loving this time around )

5. Community this week was amazing. I mean, seriously, SO FANTASTIC. Enough to where I actually teared up at one point (happy tears), because I was so moved. This show is brilliant. I need to flail )

My Vid of the Day is from TheLovelyBones1 and is a short example of the type of Brennan vid I mentioned wanting above. There aren't nearly enough of these out there. *stares at teh sexy*

rachg82: (Roslin Kara laugh)
For once, I actually have nothing but positive things to write about. Let's take advantage of this & jot them down:

-I called the unemployment office. I qualify for extended benefits. My weekly amount will *not* go down--I misunderstood the letter--and I am safe for the next 20 weeks. If I still don't have a job by the end of July, I can call back & potentially qualify for the next tier of extended benefits, which also should be the same amount & simply last a shorter amount of time. Hopefully I won't need to do that though. That's still four months away.

I can't even explain how relieved I was when I found out. The call was WAY simple & the lady I spoke with was really nice. The hold time wasn't even nearly as long this time. I just feel really lucky right now, like I can take a deep breath & clear my head.

-I finally, FINALLY put away my fake Christmas Tree. I also cleaned up the pastels & paper that had been sitting on my living room floor--basically unmoved--since I used them with Isabella last year. Doing so meant me looking at these pictures (tw warning), which was the first time I'd seen them (off the computer) in a long time as they had been intentionally flipped over/covered. I feel like it means something (not hugely, in some grand cheesy way, but just a little), putting those pieces away in the closet with all my other old art. Putting it *away*, y'know? It's symbolic. I like things like that.

-Remember how my hair was thinning/falling out last year? I took a shower today--another positive thing; I can't remember when I took one last; I even straightened it afterward with the flat-iron--and the spots where I used to be able to lift layers of hair & see big, random patches of my scalp have almost entirely filled back in. Just goes to show--my doctor was right. She told me hair loss like that can happen anywhere between 3-6 months after an extremely stressful and/or traumatic life event, and in my case she was right on the dot, timing-wise. I'm sure the anemia didn't help either, but still. It's amazing how much stress can affect the body, especially in cases like that, when it doesn't happen until later.

It'll be nice to be able to start complaining about my hair being too thick again. Heh.

-My Bones-friends are rapidly being converted to the wondahs of BSG. First, we've got [livejournal.com profile] bloodwrites, who also gave me joyface by talking about Dollhouse in her last entry (P.S. if you're reading this, bb, I'm sorry I haven't replied yet to answer your request for BSG vids/fics. Hee. I love that I'm the one people think of for that stuff though. I'll try to hook you up soon!), and then we've also got [livejournal.com profile] gina227, who cracked me up with her last entry, flailing about the s1 finale (y'all know how I feel about that Opera House scene! eialhaoilghoighg). I LOVE WATCHING MY FRIENDS GET INTO MY SHOWS. IT'S MY MOST FAVORITE, FAVORITEST THING EVER.

-I went outside today while it was actually still light, got food, and though I don't know yet if I'll eat a second meal before the night is over or not--I still feel good about that. Going outside before dark has become a ~thing~ for me lately. You have to face more people & they can see you more easily and…yeah. It's more difficult. I even smiled & said hello to a neighbor. CRAZY.

-It feels like spring all of a sudden. I already mentioned the Cherry Blossom trees in my last entry, but seriously: it was almost warm enough to take off my jacket out there. I have my blinds slightly open right now (just slightly--ew, bright lighting & people staring in. Heh. NOT A FAN), along with the sliding glass door so my place can actually air out a bit.

It carries positive associations for me, because I was SO determined last spring--right after everything started to really hit the fan--to move on & survive, change my life, and be happy. On one hand, I'm nowhere near "over" things yet, and I still have a long way to go, but I do feel like it has to count for something that I've MADE IT through all of this, that I didn't just bare-knuckle it but I actually *felt* a lot of it--not all, but at least STARTED to--and I'm still here. It doesn't mean the depression is gone (one day of a few positive things/vaguely good mood doesn't equal "I'm all better!"--I've learned that before the hard way), nor does it mean things like Mother's Day or my nephew's birthday etc won't potentially cause problems for me in the upcoming months, but hey, again, it has to count for something that I'm still here. Right? And I've had at least one day again that felt partially good. That's something to appreciate, particularly after many, many days that were not even remotely good. Certainly not under the surface (and of course often blatantly as well). I mean, I can still feel the depression & pain & stress & bla bla bla under the surface now too, but the "good" on top of it feels more authentic/substantial. I don't know if that even makes sense, but there you go.

Of course the ACA in me is fighting feelings of nervousness because of this, like, "THE OTHER SHOE COULD DROP AT ANY MINUTE! YOU ARE GOING TO JINX EVERYTHING IF YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT YOU'RE HAVING A DECENT DAY." Oh, issues.

Anyway, that's all for now. For my Vid of the Day, I'm gonna recycle one of my faves from sczep84 in honor of the one-year anniversary for Adama & Roslin sweeping The Shipper Showdown like a couple of frakkin' champs. Let us not forget I even switched my vote from Mulder & Scully. THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE TWO. Also, that's how good [livejournal.com profile] sumpta's campaigning was. Heh. Seriously. That girl was on a mission. Much respect.

rachg82: (Brennan walking in the rain)
1. Song of the Day. It made me tear up. My mood is still closer to this (minus the last bit about pre-determined destiny, that is. I don't believe that. I relate to everything else though), particularly because I haven't left that staying-in-bed-for-most-of-the-day phase yet, but I have started feeling a shift. I'm incredibly stressed right now, to the point where all this unemployment stuff is making me feel nearly desperate (like, "Will I be able to keep living? What options do I have if I run out of money?"-desperate. I don't mean to scare people, but I need to be honest. A big issue is that certain jobs still feel off-limit to me, too, because of social anxiety. I feel trapped), but at least when those thoughts come up now they sound more bad than good. Still acceptable, but more bad than good. That's something, right? I may not exactly be gung-ho for life, but I don't like being forced into anything either, and for the first time in a long while I'm fighting the idea of death not just because I know I'm supposed to (and have told myself to in the past, i.e. the resolutions I've made with myself), but because I actually don't feel ready to die yet. So, yeah. That has to be worth something. I'm kind of in limbo.

That being said, things are very tenuous right now. Even if everything "works out" in a best-case scenario, it means getting a job. That stresses me out too. Deep breaths, in & out. It's all I can do. One step at a time. At least yesterday I both got the mail *and* opened it (yes, when you're like this--that's a task), and did the math to confirm that even with lesser benefits--if I do indeed qualify for the extended 20 weeks; they drop you to 80% of what you previously earned--I can still pay bills. It will be ridiculously tight, but that's fine. I have lived VERY cheaply before. I intentionally move into apartments with rent that's a good deal below what I can afford for this exact reason (plus it helps that, A. I don't have a car, B. I don't have a cell phone, C. I don't have anyone or anything depending on me, and D. I've never had any credit cards). You never know what situation you'll find yourself in. The only debt I have is from student loans & medical bills (and technically I'm a little behind on my electric bill, but not by much. Otherwise, there's simply rent + phone/internet/cable, & the miscellaneous stuff like medication & groceries & bus passes, etc). I also emailed my old friend/coworker to ask her for the address/name/phone number of the place where she works so I can go over & apply in person. I *really* don't want to work in a call center again--God, I hate it--but it would be close by, I have tons of experience in that area, and it would be better than sitting at home every day. Theoretically, it might make finding another job easier too, because then I could put on my resume that I'm currently employed, which looks better than "Hey, I've been unemployed for four months straight. Wanna hire me?" Know what I mean? I have to call the unemployment place before I do anything else though. I tried yesterday, but I called in the afternoon & the hold time was absurd. It's for the best anyway, because it allowed me to open the letter first, which they said you're supposed to do, though I don't see what difference it makes. But whatever. Today--8 am. I call. And panic. But call, regardless. Yay.[/monotone sarcasm]

2. My head has been hurting SO BAD the last week or so. I don't know how much of it is stress & how much is reducing the dose of the topamax (in fairness, I hate to admit it, but I've been even more terrible about eating, too. It's like my body suddenly feeling hungry made me even more determined to go without. I'm trying to deal with it. I did just finally have some Taco Bell, so, hey). I was going to make tonight my first night going off it completely, but the whole "staying in bed all day" deal screwed me up & consequently I missed getting the refill I needed for my antidepressent. Thus I missed it yesterday AND today. I don't want to throw my body for a crazy loop, so I'll wait on the topamax. And of course get my refill for the prozac tomorrow. Not really something I want to go without right now.

P.S. Sorry for all the body/brain talk, btw. For those of you who've never dealt with it, it's probably really boring, I know. It's what I'm dealing with right now, though. It helps me to break it down bit by bit sometimes.

3. On a positive note, the Cherry Blossom trees on my street are in bloom. Despite my allergies, that's my favorite part of spring. It'll depend on how I'm feeling, but I would like to take a walk soon (i.e. a ~Jaunty Woodland Walk~ along the nearby trails, like I used to--helpful link for pic-filled tree-hugging). I know I've been saying that forever, but the seasons changing does help up the motivation factor a little. We'll see.

4. I, like Cher in Clueless, love a good project--especially one that helps me feel more organized while also distracting me & wasting a bunch of time. As a result, I have a bunch of new tags now: Van Gogh-Go Gadget Cliched Artist (for pics of, you guessed it, my art), Voice Posts (I feel like they should have a tag. They're unique like that. P.S. Some of you don't know me well yet, so if there's questions you'd like to ask--ones I can answer in five minutes or less--feel free to drop them in the comments & I can do another voice post if you want. Woot woot. This counts for you lurkers too. I SEE YOU THERE. Heh. I won't bite!), Emotions Are Better on Paper (as an explanation for new flistmates: last summer, in an effort to better express certain feelings that otherwise were hard for me to access unfiltered, I began writing on paper--stream of consciousness/just-let it out-shit, in other words--and would sometimes later share it here. In many ways, I actually believe it's what helped lead me to finally writing fic. FYI, that tag also includes old poetry from ye olde teenaged days of yore, which I typed up. Be afraid), and, lastly, I Am a Special Snowflake (ASD-ish stuff. a.k.a. "I relate to Brennan: ASK ME HOW!").

Fun, fun.

Also: I'm even going to add to one of the above-mentioned tags…right now. *gasp* I KNOW. IT'S SO EXCITING. Heh. I uploaded some more of my old art. Feel free to come & take a looksie )

5. I'm so behind on my flist, and have enough piling up in my head as it is, so I'm just going to do a disorganized rundown of what I thought regarding Bones now, sans notes/rewatch. Bones ramblin' )

My Vid of the Day comes from TheLovelyBones1 and is a wonderfully edited take on B/B between episodes 6x09 & 6x13. Intense & delicious. This is where they're comin' from, folks. Remembering that makes the (still coming--it's just beginning & things are always repressed under the surface with them; don't forget that) happytimes that much more powerful. I'd go so far as to say they're *still* holding back a little. This vid shows a little of the KAPOW-quality I think we'll continue to see slowly rise (not all at once, but in bits) on their way towards them being a real couple. They're like pressure cookers, these two. I swear.

rachg82: (Made of win)
Apparently everyone else on the interwebz is out painting the town red or somethin', because LJ is empty like a Sunnydale library tonight. I, however, am an extremely boring person; ergo, my Saturday evening funtimez include watching random vids on YouTube. (Anya clips + Abed clips + Firefly clips + Bones clips + Auto Tune the News = yayyyy)

Jealous?

Don't worry, I'm nice like that, so I'll share a few that are worth your while. (Hey, if I'm gonna be sitting around, I might as well spam you all, right?)

1. Dramatic Brennan. OMG, so ridic. Hahaha. I've watched it at least a handful of times already, & it still gets me.

2. I'm on a drug…called Charlie Sheen. The one on the left--HEE. "Wi-i-i-inning!"[/head shake]

My mom is lucky this song didn't exist back when we still spoke. I would've made it my retort whenever she morphed into Batshit McBitchfaceyson--a.k.a. every other minute.

3. And most of all:



ABED, ILU. Like, you see this place in my heart? YOU HAVE A PERMANENT HOME THERE. Seriously, *why* did I not get more into this show sooner? WHY? It had better freaking get renewed for another season or I will airlock the universe.

…go ahead & try to understand that one. Sit with it for a minute, I dare you. ("But in order to airlock the universe, something would have to be *outside* the universe for it to be released into, but that would by definition be nothing, and what would nothing's form even be? Unless the universe really does just keep expanding infinitely, but for the purposes of this hypothetical metaphor, it *couldn't*, and--y'know what? Forget it.")

Anyway. I'm tempted to spam you all with further clips, but I won't. I'm off to either rewatch Bones & take notes for my review or start up my BSG marathon again. Not sure which yet.
rachg82: (BSG Billy)
I feel like (this simile is brought to you by [livejournal.com profile] torigates. She knows why) a big pile of hot crap. My head is fuzzy/dizzy/achey, there are things running down the back of my throat (let's not elaborate), and need I add that I'm still on my period? Because I am. Also? My ears hurt. CAN YOU JUST NOT, BODY? I mean, really. I feel icky & feverish! This is not acceptable.

It doesn't help that I've barely eaten for, like, days. (less than usual, I mean) But that's because my stomach was hurting. At least that's over, now. See, this is what I get for hanging out with a friend & her baby. BABIES ALWAYS GIVE YOU THINGS. Always. They're like Trojan Horses of Viral Cuteness.

Anyway.

I don't even have cold medication! (Oh. Turns out I wasn't done yet. Heh.) All I have are Emergen-C packets! WAH!

All right, NOW I'm done. *stomps & pouts, throws things*

Moving on. My unemployment runs out this week. It's possible that's what I'm really spazzing out about. I'm trying to remain calm, however. From what I've heard, it's not actually that big a deal to get the extension. I'm probably worrying over nothing, as per usual. Sort of like how my apartment is a mess and every time I look around, I think, "I AM A FAILURE! LOOK WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! WHY AM I SO WROOOOONG?!", when--in reality--that's probably a bit of a harsh judgement. Meanwhile, the trigger for that thought was seriously maybe two things: 1. the dishes in the sink (they've been there for weeks), and 2. the fact that I still have mostly the same furniture & such from when I moved out of my mom's house seven years ago & that I haven't bought new things & decorated like some successful/amazing "Adult Archetype" that I've made up in my head + seen on TV. Who the fuck knows. I have issues. Like, there's me in my bed, all, "OMG, THERE ARE BOXES. AND AN EMPTY POP BOTTLE THAT NEEDS TO BE THROWN OUT THAT I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE WAS THERE UNTIL TODAY & WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT ME ESPECIALLY BECAUSE CLEANING EVERYTHING NOW SOUNDS TOTALLY OVERWHELMING. I AM CLEARLY TRAINING TO BE LIKE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE ON A&E'S HOARDERS AND AM DOOMED TO DIE ALONE & MAYBE THIS IS MY FAULT BECAUSE I CAN'T SURVIVE WITHOUT MY DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY & I'M JUST AS MESSED UP AS THEY ARE & THEY WERE RIGHT ABOUT ME ALL ALONG & OH GOD I'M ALMOST THIRTY & I HAVE NO ONE & THAT PICTURE IS JUST THERE OUT OF HABIT & THE FACT THAT I HATE CHANGE & I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I LIKE IT & SHOULDN'T I KNOW IF I LIKE MY OWN THINGS & MY LIFE IS PASSING ME BY & AHHHHHH.[/holy crap, that was a lot of capslock]

Right, and then I go back to sleep (then, that is, not now), because seriously. My brain exhausts me.

On a positive note, it looks like spring is finally coming. On one hand, I find that vaguely depressing for some reason--I think because I wanted to have "accomplished" more by now, and because it's bringing up memories of last summer, when I spent time with my sister & the kids & various friends--but on the other, it will make it more likely that I'll start taking walks again, I think. Whatevs, new season, fresh start, right? I'll just go with it.

Anyway--sick or not, I'm awake, and I've got stuff to ramble about, so let's get going. Just remember: you've had your preemptive warning that I'm sick; ergo, this may be cracky as Hell. I tend to go on major tangents whenever I have a cold. Like, you know that scene on Buffy when Andrew is imagining himself as a god? And he's all skipping around in a field of daisies, singing, wearing a toga & what-not? That's about as much logic as you'll find inside my brain when I'm sick. Okay? Okay.

Let's roll.

1. First on the agenda, I need to share a few things that made me laugh today. And I'd find a more creative/witty way to phrase that, but again with the whole MY BRAIN IS NOT WORKING-ness. Apparently it is capable of using capslock, though. Funny things this-a-way )

2. Not sure if/how long it'll continue for yet, but the BSG rewatch has commenced. I watched 33, Water, Bastille Day, and Act of Contrition today. I have just a few things to say )

3. I am finally ready to talk about Bones. Of course by now no one probably cares, but that's okay. I took notes, yo. So, there. Feverish Bones rambling. Fun, fun. )

I'm going to be wacky & wild and end this entry with three points today. I don't usually do that. I could stretch it to five, but I won't. This entry's already ridic.

For my Vid of the Day, let's celebrate the fact that it's Southland/Parenthood Day, shall we? Sure, sure, Southland already had its season finale, and Parenthood is a rerun tonight (new eps come back in two weeks). I know. Grr hiatus grr. But I don't even care. HAPPY SOUTHLAND/PARENTHOOD DAY ANYWAY.[/still with the capslock. Apparently colds make me hyper]

This one is by vortex199, btw. I should probably add that. Heh. And I'm going now before I can talk more.

rachg82: (Brennan I love music)
Random Music Spamming Time--everyone gather 'round.

Aaaaand…GO:

1. Throwback song I've been listening to all day without knowing why: Uh Oohhhh. *clap clap cla-clap-cla-clap-clap-cla-clap* (don't act like you don't do that too) What the eff. Random.

2. From my pervy brain to yours--a song to prompt/inspire the smut writers out there: Awww yeah.

Also, this lovely song fits nicely for B/B. Not necessarily for a vid (probably too slow), but stuff like this helps me when I'm writing. It puts me in the right mood.

3. Speaking of, here's one of the songs I'm listening to as I prepare to start the next section of my own fic (I've posted it here before, but TOO BAD. Watch me care. Heh): Nothing Can Be Explained.

4. A request for the BSG/Caprica and/or Dollhouse vidders out there. Please to be making one to this song for me. Thank you kindly.

5. I'll never stop campaigning for this one. Since no one has picked up the torch yet--i.e. made me the Brennan vid I asked for--I'll up the ante. You can also use this song as a Tribute to the Women of #46 on this picspam that I created (including River from Firefly if you want, whom I later added here).

This song was freakin' made for them and you know it.

6. One of my favorite songs (just overall) that I was thinking today could work as a Bones vid, specifically dealing with the events at the end of the 3rd, 4th, & 5th seasons: Going For the Gold. Feel free to let me know if you guys have no idea why I chose this one. Ha.

7. A song for our era & the epitome of the American spirit: Center of Attention. It could TOTALLY work as a Booth/Brennan vid too (not just their relationship, but both of them as individuals. While listening to it, I kept seeing them trying to be first through doorways/reaching for things, Booth adjusting his belt buckle, Brennan & her guns, etc). Hahaha.

On a similar note, Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better. It's a fairly standard, cliched choice (been there, done that), but it's perfect. If you're a vidder & you're reading this, take it & run with it.

8. An appropriately POC-tribute-y song for a possible Cam-centric vid: Because there should be more vids for her out there in general. Also, because she's hot. And my Whitey McCrackerson ass likes this song. Just go with it.

9. I first heard this song in an X-Files vid many years ago (like, before YouTube existed-manyyearsago), and it'd be great for B/B as well: Crazy Beautiful.

10. Someone needs to make a scifi vid about any show set in space (don't care which) for Whitey on the Moon. BECAUSE, COME ON. Really. It'd be hilarious.

And I'm done. For now.

*edited to add: No, I'm not. One more: [livejournal.com profile] ima_tv_junkie, if you're still in a Johnny Cash/Booth kinda mood, this one's for you.

-Moving on, I'm supposed to finally go to coffee/tea with my friend tomorrow. My sleep schedule is SO off. Getting up early & managing to both shower & do laundry before meeting her should prove interesting.

I can't even remember the last time I washed my hair. Ehhh.

-In other news, though I'm still not observing the comments at FMM anymore (best for my peace of mind to stay away right now), I did at least decide to keep voting. I want Troy to win the whole thing so badly I can taste it.[/exaggerating]

Okay, so I'm just kidding. But he is fantastic.

-Does anyone know when new episodes of Parenthood start up again? I know its finale is in April, but I can't find info anywhere on how many more new eps we'll get before that. This week was a rerun & next week is supposed to be as well. I DON'T APPRECIATE THESE TYPES OF SHENANIGANS, NBC.

-Lastly, when does Southland come back? Because--honestly? I KINDA NEED IT BACK IN MY LIFE SORTA TOUT DE SUITE. Like, chop chop. Not really down with this whole "hiatus" business.

And for those of you who missed the finale, plz take a moment to observe the promo:



EXACTLY.

Let's talk about it, shall we? )

My Vid of the Day today comes from [livejournal.com profile] ima_tv_junkie. A good deal of you have probably already watched this (over at [livejournal.com profile] bones_ga), but this is just in case some of you missed it. It is Johnny Cash-TASTIC & Booth-angstalicious, just like I wanted.

rachg82: (sleepy dewitt)
1. I need a rec for a new free photo-uploading site. Photobucket keeps blocking anything with a swear word/anything remotely iffy on it. For instance, I made myself a nice little macro yesterday regarding FMM, right? 'Cause we've got Starbuck up against Buffy, which: OMG HOW ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN MY GIRLS LIKE THAT. I mean, really. Aren't there Geneva Convention rules for things like this? So, anyway, I took a screenshot of the poll (visual aid!) & then added a caption of "WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY" to a bitchfacey shot of Kara from "Blood on the Scales." Y'know, as one does. But then Photobucket was all, "HAHA. DENIED," and then I cried. (okay, not really, but that sounded funny)

Why must the internets hate on me? Doesn't everyone love a good "What is this fuckery" macro? Whatever, photobucket! I didn't even like you anyway. *takes her toys & goes home*

"I WAS TO UNDERSTAND THERE WOULD BE PIE & PUNCH!"<--what I'd be yelling as I stomped off, fyi

Yeeeah, I don't know. I'm feeling a little cracky, don't mind me. It probably helps that, out of the last 31 hours, I slept approximately 25. Oh, depression. What fun you are. But, hey, at least I'm up now. And it's, like, morning time! That's sort of normal-ish. Let's see how long I can stay awake today. Aaaaand…GO.

2. For those wondering, I voted for Starbuck. *ducks tomatoes from fellow Buffy fans* HEY, I VOTED & CAMPAIGNED LIKE A CRAZY PERSON FOR THE BUFFSTER LAST YEAR. DON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT LOOK. But, dude, Kara frakkin' Thrace, y'all. I may have done some trash-talkin' when she was up against Roslin last year (Ha. No one puts baby in the corner!), but you know I loves me some Starbuck. Just look at my icons. Of course I love Buffy too (she & Anya own my heart on that show), but GAH. KARA. She just gets to me that tad bit more.

3. I'm not a trekkie, but I do objectively appreciate the Trek 'verse from the little I've seen, and I think it's hilarious how passionate I get whenever Spock competes against someone I deem unworthy in FMM. Particularly right now as he's up against Dean. Oh, hell naw! PAY YOUR FUCKING RESPECTS, FANDOM.

P.S. Slaaaaaash. Heh. Like I said: pay your respects, bitches!

4. I had a dream the other day about Mel Gibson of all people, with lumberjack gear, climbing a tree super fast like a spider monkey. What the hell?

5. My new book ("Half Empty") is good so far. I want to kiss David Rakoff on the mouth. Except he's gay. It would be a platonic kiss anyway though, so maybe he wouldn't mind. Who doesn't enjoy being randomly accosted by four-foot-ten & a half inch tall fans who need stepladders to reach your face? At least that'd give him time to prepare or frantically run away.

6. I still haven't done laundry, cleaned, applied for more jobs, or gone shopping. I am fail incarnate. I did deposit money though at the atm last night and then paid rent. There's that. I've been too busy sleeping to accomplish anything else.

Okay, that's not true. I'm doing the All-or-Nothing thinking error thing there because I'm unhappy with myself. I also finished the first section of my new fic, which may not count on the same level of importance as looking for work, but hey. I'm sure I'll still go back & tweak parts of it (i.e. change a word or two around, add to it if I want after writing subsequent parts)--like I usually do--but as it stands now, it's complete. I can move on to the next section. There's only about 800 words so far, but it's something, right? It involves being awake & not, A. hurting myself, B. staring into nothing, C. mentally listing the reasons my life is meaningless, or D. all of the above.

At least I'm eating cereal right now too. Straight out of the box (I don't have milk), but still. I'd gotten back to eating once a day for a while now, so snacking is good.

7. Speaking of my cereal, sometimes I really hate our culture. On the back of the box there's this whole spiel about the smiley-happy-trim-yoga-chick in the picture being "stronger" & it lists all the ways she does it, right? One of those ways (amidst things that actually make sense & have to do with health & the immune system, etc), and I quote, is "Even shopping for a great new dress makes me stronger." CAN I PLEASE GO BARF NOW?

8. Not sure if anyone actually likes when I do these, but--just for the heck of it: 3 songs I'm listening to today )

9. I wrote back to my friend with a coffee-place-suggestion (per her request) & haven't heard back yet. Oy. Attempting a social life is so exhausting. I want to know what the plan is!

I choose to blame the cell phone culture (you know what I'm talking about--don't act like you don't) for the fact that no one knows how to plan things anymore, just for the record. Everyone is used to texting short messages back & forth about a plan for ten thousand years & doing things spontaneously. It's one of many reasons I've never gotten one, even when I had a fairly active social life & people were constantly bugging me about it. Not having one forces people to get ahold of you *ahead of time* & plan things out/think things through. It also means you're not accessible 24/7. Even if you turn your phone off, if you have a cell phone, people get to be all, "Why was your phone off?" ANNOYING. I just hate the whole premise of them. Ugh. I ALREADY HAVE A PHONE; WHY DO I NEED ANOTHER? WHY MUST I CARRY ONE WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO? I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU AT THE GROCERY STORE! IF I DID, YOU'D ALREADY BE THERE! YOUR ASS CAN LEAVE ME A MESSAGE ON THIS OLDFANGLED ANSWERING MACHINE, & I WILL CALL YOU BACK WHEN I GET HOME, GOD. The only reason I'd maybe, MAYBE get one eventually would be for emergency purposes, and even that I'm fighting 'til the bitter end. Trust.[/curmudgeon]

Unrelated: this entry had a lot of capslock. Heh. Blame March Madness + the fact that I'm trying to cheer/wake myself up.

10. Today's Vid of the Day comes to you by lafemmeforfemme and is all about my homegizzle, Starbuck. Enjoy the kickassitude:

rachg82: (XF fangirl)
Nope, still haven't watched my shows yet tonight; however, I have been fully sucked in to reading the comments over at Fandom March Madness. Since I'm anal like that, I don't really like jumping into the fray until I've at least tried to catch up on (the gist of) what's already been said, and holy fuckballs this thing only started today & there's over *2,300* comments & 18 pages of .gifs, smacktalk, lulzy macros, non-stop capslock (the "language of March Madness", as my friend [livejournal.com profile] softly_me put it), and cracky fangirl shenanigans.

THIS IS WHAT MARCH WAS MADE FOR, PEOPLE. I so needed this right now.

My favorite comment so far?



I couldn't have said it better myself. Ha. Seriously.

Meanwhile, I feel like I need to personally apologize to Leslie Knope for not giving her my vote. I'M SORRY, BB. I JUST LOVE APRIL SO MUCH.

P.S.







Haha. Like I said: I SO NEEDED THIS RIGHT NOW. Such a great distraction.
rachg82: (fanfic turns me on)
All I've been able to eat for days, folks: peanut butter & honey sandwiches. Oh, and the occasional nutra grain bar. That too.

I know I'm not the healthiest person in the world when it comes to this sort of thing, but for frak's sake. Come on. Enough with the douchery, stomach. I'm trying to put food in you. I know you're not used to it anymore, but what's up with the bloated bowling ball of acidy burning-action? That shit ain't right. I feel like I need a pin to pop the air out. That, or someone to go in there & disarm the knife-wielding ninjas. One or the other.

Who knew there was so much room in one's GI tract for acrobatics & sword swallowing? Not to mention nuclear experiments.

(The ninjas made friends. Isn't that nice?)

It is getting better though. I know it's just a result of my period ending + acute stress (everything with my friends & family recently/the SI. It all equals life change & subsequent meltdown in my brain) + not treating my body right in the first place. My skin is all itchy & rashy as well. These things take their toll; I know the drill--though it still somehow manages to always surprise me when it happens ("You mean the nervous system actually affects the body? WHO KNEW?" *rolls eyes*). It'll pass, regardless.

In the meantime, I'm distracting myself with a new endeavor. Blame Thank [livejournal.com profile] fourth_rose, as she's the one who gave me the encouragement. I was talking with her online yesterday about last week's episode of Bones, and the fandom's curiously small selection of PWP fic (we x-philes put you all to shame back in the day, for serious. It was a non-stop smutfest), and voila, now I'm writing a story about Booth spankin' the monkey.

OF COURSE.

Y'know, because what else would I be doing on a Monday? Looking for work? Jigga, please.

I'm still working on my Brennan fic, don't fret. This is just a detour. It's a fun diversion though, especially because it's good practice for writing something shorter than Anna Karenina-ish in length. (Aw, hyperbole. I heart you.)

There are people outside mowing grass & hammering things, however, and I don't think they have their priorities in order. BOOTH WANTS TO FANTASIZE ABOUT BRENNAN, OKAY? STFU SO I CAN FOCUS.<--this is why I usually write at night.

Also: JESUS FUCK, MY UPSTAIRS NEIGHBORS ARE LOUD. I think they're dropping tanks on my ceiling. It goes beautifully with the honking car & garbage truck that just joined in with the cacophony.

Remind me again why I bother getting up during daylight hours? I need a soundproof panic room for moments like this. I can stock it with a computer, a TV, a sofa, maybe a book or two, some music, and curl up in a cocoon-like blanket of PEACE & STILLNESS & DIMLY LIT VALHALLA-FILLED WONDER.[/secret hermit gang-sign]

Anyway. (ngl, I just put headphones on because the noise was agitating me so bad, haha. My dream one of these days is to just peek my head out the door at the world & yell, "WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THINGS? BE QUIET!" Totally rational.)

The story itself isn't that cracky so far though, to be honest. I'm still going to call it PWP though, simply because of the basis for the story. The whole point is Booth rubbin' one out. Ha. Pretty words or not, it's still a porny excuse for a plot.

If the monster truck rally outside decides to move their show elsewhere, I think I should be able to finish the story & post it tonight. Then I'll get back to my longer fic. And look for work & go to the store & attend an ACA meeting & do important things, bla bla bla. Eventually. At least I'm out of bed for more than a few hours at a time. That's something.

For now, I'll entertain you all with the following:

Three songs I'm listening to today )

For my Vid of the Day, I'd like to share this lovely tribute to River (by Mq112358) that I found the other day while wasting time on YouTube. As I've said before, she's the newest addition to my list of Fave Female Characters, and I just wish the show had gone on longer so I could see more of her. This vid uses a song that I adore as well, so it gets extra points for that.

August 2017

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