rachg82: (psych on my shoulder)
-Firstly, a big thank you to [livejournal.com profile] a2zmom and [livejournal.com profile] crystalcazzie for the cards and delicious chocolatey goodness. That was such a nice thing to come home to yesterday.

-All the shows going on hiatus is bumming me out a bit; however, after nearly losing my tv/phone/internet this week, I'm just grateful to be able to see ANY shows right about now. And at least Southland is coming back next month! FINALLY.

-I went to PCC yesterday to see an academic advisor, so of course my luck determined that their office would be closed. I was there on a normal day during normal hours, but it was the ONE weekday all month (aside from Christmas) that they had to be Not Open for some reason. Figures. It wasn't a wasted trip though, because I was able to talk to the financial aid people again, confirm my application has been processed (I had originally been told it could take until late January), and get the appeal form I'll need (they based my financial need on last year's taxes, not taking into account my unemployed brokeitude in 2011. This form would appeal that to see if I can get additional grants). So, now I just need to return that form, approve the loans, talk to an advisor/possibly take placement tests again (if needed), and then decide which classes--and how many classes--to take.

-My counseling appt got rescheduled twice this week (first by my therapist, because she was summoned into court, and then by me because I woke up with a migraine), but when I see her next I think I need to talk through some anxiety stuff that's been peeking back out surrounding school. It's been really surreal going back to that campus the last few times, and it turns out I still have a lot of baggage associated with my experiences there. For one, because of certain memories that took place there (e.g. this one particularly horrible day when Mom screamed at me in the parking lot & utterly lost her shit, the difficulty I had with my social phobias there, various classes I never completed after my panic attacks got bad, etc), but also because of current insecurities & years-old shame that somehow make me feel I'm not "worthy" of even being there, like everyone who so much as looks at me knows it. Which is irrational, but it is what it is. And part of it is the same anxiety I've been trying to work through regarding being around people more again in general, but there's no doubt that some is very school/memory-specific -- otherwise I wouldn't be getting that ~everything in slow-motion~ level of self-consciousness again over something as simple as walking down stairs in front of strangers (which was one of my phobias back then, so).

It's just something I'll have to be aware of & work on while I also continue to make sure I check in with myself about how realistic (or not) my expectations are, re: what I can handle at any given time. I may also sit down to do at least one of my old exposure worksheets before the term starts, since I can sense--without even seriously analyzing anything--that there's like a conga line of Thinking Errors dancing their way through my head whenever I set foot on that campus. Like, I go to use the vending machine or whatever, hesitate because it has a different setup than I'm familiar with, and instantly there's this litany of "EVERYONE'S PROBABLY LOOKING AT YOU & THINKING YOU'RE A BRAINLESS WACKJOB. WHY DO YOU EVEN LEAVE YOUR HOME WITHOUT A HELMET?"-esque abuse. And then I wonder why I feel nervous. *rolls eyes* Not to mention feeling nervous distracts you & adds to confusion. Which then feeds back into the "YOU'RE AN IDIOT, SELF" train of insults. Ugh.

Still, unsettled & shaky feeling or not, I have been doing things I needed up there when I've gone, I have talked to people, and I feel pretty good about that.

-I have an idea for a short story (not fanfic), but part of its premise (an entire community aging backwards) could easily be related to an already existing movie. I haven't seen this movie, mind you, but still. If the inspiration continues, I may write it anyway, but IDK yet.

-Let's wrap this entry up with that meme, y/y? Psych and Parks & Rec )
rachg82: (Adama/Roslin Oath kiss)
I don't think I've mentioned this here yet, but [livejournal.com profile] dosidella recently linked me to this site, which allows you to play old-school games like Dr. Mario & Donkey Kong online legally for free (no downloading required). I figured more than a few of you would be interested. So!

In other news:

-Rizzoli & Isles continues to be the gayest thing to ever happen to me. I'm saying. Gayer than my on-again, off-again WTFship with Amy. Gayer than RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo. Gayer than Ms. Jay teaching you how to smize. Gayer than all six seasons of The L Word, including that time Dana took a hit of acid and danced around on stage with Tegan & Sara. Okay, maybe not THAT gay, but pretty effing gay nonetheless )

-I don't have anything to say about Psych, Community, or Parks & Rec this week except to give all-around gold stars.

-Revenge is the crackiest shit that ever cracked.

-I'm still watching Castle, and I enjoyed it this week, though it made me wrack my brain trying to remember the name of the XF fic I read way back when which started out basically the same way. Oh, interwebz.

-Bones )

-I was thinking it'd be fun to do a poll here asking people to choose which three eps they'd use to introduce a newb to the fandom(s) of their choice, but then it was like -- um, I don't know what shows you'd pick or how much room you'd need for your answers. And then of course I could pick the shows, which is what I'm about to do, but creating a real, actual poll for that kind of dealio sounds like a lot of work. And see my mood icon? Right.

So, instead, here's a list of shows (I'm limiting myself to ten). You can share your answers in the comments (and feel free to add new fandoms of your own):

-X Files
-Battlestar Galactica
-Gilmore Girls
-My So-Called Life
-Parks & Rec

I'll share my choices in my next entry, obviously.

In RL news:

-I made home-made GF mac & cheese tonight, and it was pretty dang good. If you'd handed it to me without telling me it was GF, I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

-Similarly, the GF rigatoni I had with B earlier this week tasted great as well. This is a big hoo-ray thing for me, because up until now I hadn't been able to find any good rice-based noodles, and it was very tragic.

-Aside from the cooking, I've been super lacking in motivation this week. One of those ~I don't want to do anything, say anything, move my body, or think~ situations. Where it's all you can do to get your dishes done, drag yourself to the store, etc. Like, writing this entry is an accomplishment. I missed my appointment with my psych today (though I'm still seeing my counselor tomorrow), spent a lot of time in bed for no reason, took forever to do anything or go anywhere, and yeah. I just feel stressed, I guess. And it's adding to the depression, so that sucks. I think I'm nervous about talking to my sister as well, especially after I reread the email she sent me (from when our uncle died) while I was working on my Year in Review post this week. It's like -- how much could she have changed in five or six months? And what caused her to change? How do I know she doesn't still feel that way underneath it all? How do I know it's not LIKELY she'll say that kind of stuff to me again soon? I'm going to talk to my counselor about it tomorrow, but in the meantime it's weighing on me.

And I think that's it. For my Vid of the Day, here's a lighthearted one by TaraGel:

rachg82: (Bones therapy)
I'm sleepy & have already been on my computer for too long (blame Text Twist & the neverending about-to-end fic of doom), so this entry will be quick:

-Psych )

-Community )

-Parks & Rec )

-I feel like I have more things to say, but again with the sleepyness. I had an appointment with my counselor today, which I'll probably talk more about later. For now, I'll leave y'all with a Vid of the Day. This one's by Jarisafia:

rachg82: (XF fangirl)
I think it's time for another TV post:

-Parenthood )

-Community )

-Parks & Rec )

In other news, I spontaneously began rewatching season 3 of Bones today. I think this is where I admit I'm not really that jazzed for the upcoming season. I KNOW, I'M SORRY. It's weird. It's not that I don't love the characters anymore--I do--or that I don't have ideas of things I'd love to see--I definitely do--but season 6 left me a bit deflated as far as my confidence in them delivering. I'm going to stop reading anything that comes out of stupid HH & SN's mouths, though, and that will probably help. As I said to [livejournal.com profile] tempertemper the other day, they could douche chill the second coming. Every interview they do, ever, is just like, "UGH, SHUT YOUR FACE."

That being said, I'm still hopeful, still fangirling it up--I mean, I wouldn't be working on this fic still if I weren't; it's really important to me (P.S. I'm up to 4,400 words now. Slow & steady progress!)--and still passionate about the show, but I felt like I had to admit those feelings somewhere.

ANYHOO. How about a Vid of the Day? This one's by oneminutegalactica (looove) & cracks me up every time.

rachg82: (abed is my homeboy)
This whole waking up with a killer migraine that lasts for hours deal? And having it happen multiple days in a row? Not a fan. Like, I'm just gonna go out on a limb & put that out there. Call me crazy. *rolls eyes* As if the normal daily headaches aren't enough of a pain already. LIFE. WHY.

Anyway. At least there's new TV:

-Community )

-Parks & Rec )

Aaand I think that's it for tonight. I don't have anything else super exciting to add. In honor of Community's return, though, here's a VotD by sisabet:

rachg82: (rizzoli matching puke outfits)
1. Just made a rice protein smoothie with those blueberries I bought at the Farmers Market, plus added rasberries, bananas, honey, & a combo of rice & almond milk. It was pretty much the biggity biggity bomb. Just so y'all know.

2. It's about time for an icon meme, methinks. Taken from [livejournal.com profile] torigates:

my answers )

3. Since tomorrow is Labor Day, I won't be working. As for today, I worked 6 am - 1 pm instead of the normal 6:35 am - 5:05 pm Sunday shift I would've had. It's amazing how short a seven-hour day feels when you're getting used to ten. Unfortunately, I won't get holiday pay since I don't qualify yet, but I'll be working a full day on Tuesday & a half-day on Wednesday to make up for it. I'll even get something like two hours of overtime pay, technically. I'll probably exhaust myself in the process, but whatevs. I really need money. Currently, I have something like thirty-odd dollars to last me the next two weeks. GOOD TIMES.

4. Speaking of work, behold my favorite customer quote of the day (re: the increasing absence of pay phones on the streets due to everyone getting cell phones): "I mean, where's Superman gonna change his clothes?"

Also, gotta love the 90 year old woman I helped get signed up today, who, when asked if she had an email address, was like, "What's that?" Cue me answering, "Email? You know, on the internet?" And her shouting (they always shout, haha), "Internet?! What?" And me again, like: "Um, internet…like on a computer?" And then her final response of, "OH, I DON'T HAVE ONE OF THOSE. I'M LUCKY IF I CAN FIGURE OUT MY TV, HONEY." Hee!

FYI: I heard yesterday that the oldest customer we have is 106. Apparently he's pretty with it, too. *106* (it bears repeating). I can't even. He would've been three when the Model T came out. And he has a cell phone before I do. Haha.

5. A lot of my flist has been doing this, most recently [livejournal.com profile] keenai, so I'll jump on the bandwagon. Here's my Fall/Winter TV Schedule )

That's all for tonight. For my Vid of the Day, let's celebrate the upcoming return of Community this month (not to mention season 2 coming out on DVD) with some awesome Abed quotes, edited together by tvgirl17:

ETA: I can't resist:

rachg82: (here for laura)
-I'm feeling especially sleepy & lazy right now. What I'd really like to do is plan an evening in front of the TV with pop & snacks, but nooo.

-There's an ACA meeting this afternoon, but there's also one on Monday evenings. I'd have to get ready in a hurry (and pay for a cab) to go to the one today without being late, so I'm kinda tempted to do the Monday one instead. Especially because public transit is more convenient on weekdays.

-I do however want to go somewhere today. I just don't want to rush. I'm thinking I'll make myself a sandwich for lunch, take a shower, and then bus it down to Portland. I can make a pitstop at Forest Park to finish [livejournal.com profile] gina227's photo meme question from way back & then take care of [livejournal.com profile] keenai's by hitting up Voodoo Doughnut. The one downtown is still closed for renovation, but dear God have I been craving their donuts something fierce lately, so I don't even care--I'll go to the NE one. And I can excuse the gluttony by having taken a walk. TADA.

-[livejournal.com profile] teachlikeroslin and [livejournal.com profile] scifi_mel have created their own Hot 25 lists as well, in case some of you missed them & would like to see. You can find them here & here.

-Big-ups to New York, y'all. I'm sure you've all heard the news by now, so I'll just say this: I really needed a big smile this week & they delivered.

-Many of you on my flist are bemoaning the late Fall premiere of Bones this year & wondering how you'll fill your time. Fortunately, you have me, the TV-obsessed oompa loompa who never tires of pimping new shows. May I suggest any of the following? )

-I worked on my fic a bit more last night. It still feels a lot like chipping away at a huge block of granite, but sometimes that's just how it goes. At least there's progress being made, albeit incredibly slowly. I guess on the bright side the longer summer hiatus means less of a hurry for things like this.

-I put a temporary halt to my BSG rewatch after my uncle's death (being at the end of s4, I think most of you will understand why), but I think I'm ready to jump back into it now, once my TV's working again that is. I only have a few eps left. Pretty sure the finale's gonna kill me, but I don't mean that in a bad way. It'll just be emotional because of the subject matter.

Anyway, I'm gonna get going now, before I can convince myself that napping would be a better way to spend the rest of the day.

For my VotD, here's an appropriately themed song:

rachg82: (adama bear)
So, I go to turn on So You Think You Can Dance, right? And I do so roughly 30 minutes into the program, that way my DVR will be ahead, thus allowing me to skip commercials. Very wise, I know.

EXCEPT. For some reason my DVR decided to only start recording twenty minutes after the show started. Not cool, yo!

This means I'll have to watch the parts I missed tomorrow on OnDemand or Hulu or something. Annoying. In the meantime, I'm gonna rock it like keenai and liveblog this ish. )

I need to walk to the store again now, and I don't want to. Wah.


I've been eating a lot of Activia lately, so let's do a Vid of the Day to go with that. "I'm gonna shit my pants!" Hahaha.

rachg82: (Booth/Bones holy spirit)
It's amazing how little it takes for me to feel productive these days. But, really, chatting with a couple friends, making a sandwich for dinner here instead of going out to get one (much healthier option), replying to a couple emails, sending my resume to the HR chick my friend told me about*, and calling & talking with both my stepmom AND dad--that's a lot for me.


Plus, I took out trash & walked to the store last night. So, that's good too. Now, if I could just do some laundry--maybe tomorrow--I think that'd make me feel even better. It's definitely not the last of what I need to get done, but it'd put a big dent in my mental procrastination list.

Anyway, this is boring, so on to what we all really care about: television. (heh)

-I rewatched a bunch of Parks & Rec eps last night from the 3rd season. "The Fight" still makes me laugh so hard. I think it might be my favorite. "You're stupid & you're drunk & you're stupid!" Hahaha. The one after that too, though, where Chris changes everyone's jobs around? Also cracks me up. "I'm down to one word a minute & that word is persknickapflop." HEE. I'm actually giggling again right now, just thinking of it.

-I was a little sadface for Natalia not making it into the top 20 on So You Think You Can Dance, but not too much. I do think her sister is better, technique wise, so it was a fair pick. It's just too bad she wasn't slightly better; it would've been nice to have another larger-than-average dancer on there again. I miss Donyelle! It was great to see her get so far though, especially considering what she said it meant to her. I bet she'll come back next year after practicing more, which would probably be ideal for her anyway because then she'd have had some time to learn about managing her diabetes.

I'm happy with the top 20 though--especially with the girls (I really wanted Sasha to get in, along with her sister, so I'm happy she's there at least. I also have been rooting for Ashley since the auditions). Last night's performances were great, and I'm psyched about the format this year. Getting the top 20 format back to start AND having the All Stars for the top 10 is an awesome best of both worlds scenario.

-And finally, because I'm lazy, I'm just gonna copy some chat action here since I already talked about RL stuff and So You Think You Can Dance *and* Bones with [livejournal.com profile] keenai and [livejournal.com profile] huh920 today. Two birds with one stone, whoo. clicky (spoilers for the Bones finale & this week's SYTYCD) )

I still have a couple of those 5 questions memes to do too ([livejournal.com profile] xmaidelx, you owe me questions, missy), along with the rest of the photo meme requests, but don't worry--they'll come. (…that's what she said) I'll probably do a voice post later tonight to answer the first set, assuming I can answer the questions in the time allotted. If not, I'll write 'em out, but I think it's fun to do some of them via the phone. Keep a bit of variety up in this ish.

Lastly, for my Vid of the Day, how about a montage full of great dancing? Oh, SYTYCD, I love you so:

rachg82: (abed is my homeboy)
Just so I can get it out of the way, let's start with the things that are annoying me today:

1. My neighbors. They are SO LOUD. Why? WHY?

2. The fact that not only did this happen, but that their neighbors are yakking on TV about how "great" the parents are + outright accusing the kids of somehow making it all up. Yeah, because broken ribs & hypothermia are super duper easy to fake. Every time the story comes on, I freaking RAGE inside. Seriously.

3. Neither K-Mart, Fred Meyer, or the library a block away have the first season of Friday Night Lights in stock right now. I'm sure Borders does, which is also within walking distance, but it's still much farther away, & I am way too crapalicious feeling to drag myself up there. Which brings me to…

4. I FEEL GROSS. My stomach, my head, my everything. And all I want to do is lie down on my couch & get lost in a new TV show or something, but nooooo. Can't have that. *throws tantrum*

5. I need to go to the store so I can at least buy the type of plain food my body could probably handle right now (yesss, I know of the BART diet & which fruits help & bla bla bla.<--preemptive strike against unsolicited advice), but I don't wannnna. WAH.

*edited to add: All right, I went to the store afterall. I am now completely exhausted (heavy grocery bags, oy), but happy because I have an Odwalla fruit smoothie to drink. Mango Tango FTW.

Okay, I'm done whining now. To balance things out, here's a few things that are nice:

1. The weather. It's been mostly in the low 70s this week. Very mild & enjoyable. I can wear my flip-flops again!

2. So You Think You Can Dance starts next week. Yeah, boyeeee.

3. The world didn't end. Hahaha. I love that they actually picked a time. Like, way to be specific. Who knew God & zee end of days go by PST?

4. Parks & Rec's finale this week. It has been so, so funny lately.

5. My BSG rewatch. I'll probably talk more about it later, because right now I'm all icky & thus lazy, but yes. Sine Qua Non/The Hub, Revelations, Sometimes a Great Notion--TOO MUCH GOODNESS. Like, I can't even deal.

Instead of a Vid of the Day this time, I have a music meme for y'all:

1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload) 5 songs you love that begin with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.

[livejournal.com profile] ladysophiekitty gave me the letter S.

Songs that begin with S )
rachg82: (Baltar/Six sky)
It's been a couple days since I updated, so I feel like I should, but I'm having one of those issues where I can't think of what to write & everything I CAN think of sounds boring. So I end up just sitting & staring at the computer screen all "BLAH" like a human question mark. "Entry! Why won't you write yourself? Be a team player!" I hate that.

Anyway, I'll just ramble for a minute & we can all pretend it's interesting.

-I had a really bad migraine the night before last, and as a result I've slept more than I've been awake the last two days. I still don't feel quite "over it" yet--my limbs feel heavy, my stomach is frakked, it's hard to read things, when I went to the store yesterday I had difficulty talking (words came out wrong/stilted), etc. Immediately afterward, I felt simultaneously exhausted & yet extremely relaxed/almost good (migraine euphoria, in other words), but then (and now) I just came back to feeling out of it & vaguely depressed yet not. I'm used to all of it, but it's strange, especially because I don't always experience the postdrome phase so severely. It really depends on how bad the migraine itself is, usually (in this case, it was pretty bad). It's good to know there's a reason for all of it though. I find it comforting when I can understand what's going on with my body. It's kind of interesting, almost. The brain is an odd thing.

-During the few hours I was awake yesterday, I watched a couple episodes of some ghost show on cable (I always end up watching the most random crap when sick, I swear). It was your usual fare of sillyness--every ghost in the world apparently wears white dresses circa the Victorian era--but I heard a quote from one of the women that I liked: "God's delay doesn't necessarily mean God's denial." She said her dead father appeared to her & said that, which--whatever, who knows--but I don't think it matters whether it's true or even whether you believe in God. It's still a nice concept.

-Speaking of things I've heard lately that I liked, here's a few more:

"You make your choices and you live with them, and in the end you are those choices."-BSG

"Sometimes we have to leave people behind so that we can go on--so that we can continue to fight."-BSG

"Success is not a goal. It's a byproduct."-Friday Night Lights

"A friend once said, and I found to be true, that everyday people--they lie to God too--so what makes you think that they won't lie to you?"-Lauryn Hill

The last one is a line from a song, and I've of course heard it before, but it had been a while. I've been talking with [livejournal.com profile] jasminelily about some of the things my mom said to me in those emails, and the likelihood that she was lying about what my nephew said, so that lyric resonated with me.

-Parks & Rec this week was freaking hilarious. "I'm gonna make out with him. On his face." HA. Also: everyone drunk. BEST EVER.

-Community doesn't know how to be anything but awesome, I don't think. ABED WAS HAN SOLO, Y'ALL. HE MADE OUT WITH ANNIE & THEN WAS JUST LIKE, "COOL", AND WALKED OFF. Hahaha.

-I continue to enjoy Friday Night Lights. If I had Netflix, I'd stream it from the beginning, but I prefer living in the 20th century so I don't. Okay, so that's a joke, but it's not far off from the truth. Heh. I do want to rent the first season though. I suspect I will over the summer. There's a few other shows I plan to check out, too, most likely. Probably Farscape, Castle, and maybe Dr. Who. Maybe. I've seen a couple episodes & really didn't get sucked in, but I know a lot of people who are into it, so I'm open.

-Lastly, I'm still slowly but surely working on my fic, though this one has been giving me a hard time. I talked about it with [livejournal.com profile] keenai the other day though, which I'll include here, 'cause that's how I roll )

For my Vid of the Day, I'm gonna get my convert-powerz on. It's come to my attention that some of you are still not watching Community. This simply won't do. Hence, I shall provide clips to help make it right. You're welcome.

rachg82: (annie dancing bones)
1. More photo meme funtimes, ahoy! Here's [livejournal.com profile] torigates' request: "I'd like to see your kitchen and inside your fridge", and here's the oh-so-fascinating result )

2. My dreams continue to be wack-ass weird. I mean, on one hand I'm still getting the predictable family dreams, so that part's sort of status: normal, but on top of that they've just been so damned ODD lately. I found myself in some cheesy horror movie last night, and the baddie was a green-skinned (like the Wicked Witch) chick who would pop up out of nowhere and, like, stab you with her nails and shit if you didn't do whatever she wanted. Plus she had some magical power to make men obsessed with her. That by itself wouldn't be so weird (for a dream), but then guess how I convinced her to chill out & leave this one kid in my mom's family room alone? Why, I brought in Freddy Krueger of course. And she was all, "I'm not like that, am I?" And I was like, "Well, you're kind of a jerk. I mean, no offense." Hee hee. Then she felt all bad & let the kid go.[/clearly I'm a hero in my head]

Oh, and I totally hardcore made out with her afterward. HAHA. I think she had normal skin by then though.

What the fuuuuuck.

3. I've been working on my fic more, and I'm having a much easier time with it now. It's good to have something positive to focus on.

4. You know how you have to choose a mood for each entry? I keep running into the issue lately where I don't know what mood I am. There's honestly so many different things I feel about various parts of my life right now, and sometimes it leaves me feeling sort of…~nothing~ all over. Like, a big question mark. I just don't know. I do know I feel a bit lost regarding what to hope for & do with everything right now. There's still a lot of hopelessness & disillusionment in me, which I just sort of try to ignore. There's pain & anxiety over family stuff. There's a sense of failure, and the rut I feel stuck in when it comes to jobs & schooling & RL friendships & weight loss & self-improvement and…yeah, pretty much everything. But there's also, hey, at least my living room & kitchen are clean. Like, that's good. And fic writing also makes me feel good when it's going well, and I have a new candle lit in here that smells nice, and the weather's finally becoming spring-like, so those things are all positive. I've gained weight, which bothers me enormously, but I'm still rational enough to know five pounds is not the end of the damned world, and it could quickly be lost by walking. I don't know, whatever. Some of you know my depression has been pretty stealthy lately, getting much worse at nighttime/when I'm not distracted, but I'm still here, aren't I? And I'm trying to figure out how to find a balance between cheering myself up & not pushing problematic feelings down so that they'll just inevitably come rushing up later, like, "Surprise! Thought we were gone? THINK AGAIN. NOW WE'RE EVEN WORSE." You know? Oy, stupid FEELINGS.

Okay, ramble over. I will add though that I would really like to try & go to an ACA meeting this weekend. I'd also like to take a walk in Forest Park. I don't know if I'll follow through though (largely because my new jeans still aren't hemmed, and my other stuff is crappy looking. It's hard enough getting myself to walk anywhere nearby right now, let alone go downtown where people look nicer. Common sense would tell me "just go freaking get your jeans hemmed then! And do some laundry, stupid!" but it's like RIDIC levels of hard when you're depressed to get off your ass & do anything physical, especially for me if it involves possibly seeing other people). So, I won't say I'm doing it for sure, but I'm at least thinking about it. If I can just get myself to bring those jeans to the cleaners, that'll probably make other things easier & provide more motivation.[/ramble over for real this time. Don't mind me as I write think outloud about stuff no one else in their right mind probably cares about.]

5. My DVR failed to record Parks & Rec + Community AGAIN this week. WTF, mate? I changed the settings though to allow for reruns as well now; maybe it was marking new eps as repeats & then ignoring them or something. *shakes fist*

It did however record Bones, thankfully. )

For my Vid of the Day, here's a fun Community tribute that I found today by bopradar. Makes me want to go rewatch all of season 1 all over again.

rachg82: (kara starting over)
1. I have a new musical obsession. I was watching clips on YouTube of Portlandia & Thunderant, and I came across St. Vincent (she performs live in one of the Feminist Bookstore skits--here). Whyyyyy have I not heard of her before? Please tell me I haven't been out of the loop on this one, because if she's not already huge, she should be. three examples of why )

2. I'm very behind on my flist at the moment, just as a heads-up. I've been sleeping a lot the last few days. I have skimmed some entries, but I need to go back & comment on quite a few.

3. I wish prescriptions could be delivered. I ran out of my anti-depressant and didn't feel like going out, so the refill is alllll the way…two seconds from here. Yeah, it's basically in the parking lot behind my apartment complex. THAT'S how lazy I am. Also, I need to do laundry & still haven't gotten my new jeans hemmed so that I can wear them. It's a problem. The pharmacy is closed today anyway though, so I just have to deal. I'll try to drag myself out tomorrow.

4. Rewatch update: I'm done with season 3 of BSG. I've had "All Along the Watchtower" stuck in my head ever since. Three things: A. I ♥ Romo, B. Lee, you break my heart when you sell out Roslin, but your speech is win, & C. "AND YOU MISSED! BUTTERFINGERS."

5. FU, holidays. Bite me.

6. Turns out my DVR did miss both Parks & Rec and Community (I've since watched them, no worries). Nothing to say about the former really, but re: the latter? Way to do a flashback episode consisting solely of things we've never actually seen on the show. Ha. THE HAUNTED HOUSE. Also: way to make fun of retcons in absolutely brill fashion, not to mention your own tropes. And? WAY TO MOCK THE EVERLOVING CRAP OUT OF SHIPPERS & FANVIDS, hahahaha. The slow-mo & Sara Bareilles! BEST EVER.

7. I haven't worked on my fic in a really long time. Insecurity, frustration, and apathy are such mojo-killers. I'd like to get back to it though. Perhaps new music will help.

8. I love LJ, but sometimes I feel like I'm talking into a void on here. I get sad when people don't comment/aren't around, and I feel very uninteresting & lonely. It's just the nature of the medium, I know, but it still gets to me occasionally. I need the outlet, but I hate feeling attached to the outcome. Or people in general.

9. Since I finished my tedious tagging project, I thought I'd share a couple humorous findings )

10. In honor of my rewatch, let's have a Vid of the Day that focuses on season 4.0. This one's by aguid23:

rachg82: (kara field)
For those of you who wanted to know the answers to the book meme, here you go )

Moving on:

-Community tonight was outstanding as usual. )

-Parks & Rec was also wonderful. )

-BSG rewatch update: I have quite a bit of flailing this time )

Anyway, I'd better end this now so I can go to bed. This was a fairly positive entry considering my life is full of pure suckshit at the moment. Did I mention I haven't done my taxes yet & realized I don't have one of my W2 forms? Yeah. I'm gonna have to call the temp agency that would have it & ask if I can pick it up in person tomorrow. Fortunately this year's returns aren't due until Monday, but STILL. Talk about procrastination & unneeded, self-induced stress. So stupid. Taxes remind me of my stepdad, too, because he used to help me with them, and that bothers me. WHATEVER. Ugh. Asshole creep. Sometimes I'd like a punching bag; I think it'd help me. Then I could also hit it when I look at the scale & see I haven't lost weight or have gained a pound or crap like that. And before anyone suggests it, nay to kickboxing. I don't have good balance. I'd totally fall over. Though maybe I could get help with that. Hmm. Yoga? Perhaps.

For my Vid of the Day, I'm gonna recycle one I've posted before by MadnessoftheDivine. This is my favorite Kara-centric vid I've seen yet--it's just gorgeous--and it focuses primarily on Maelstrom, along with the events/patterns leading up to it.

rachg82: (Baltar/Six sky)
I feel very productive at the moment. Not only did I take out all my trash, but I also did the dishes (finally--OMG, it was so gross. I had to cover my mouth), swept, cleaned the counters, & took a shower.

Also? I ate two meals yesterday. First time I've done that since probably January (that resolution worked not so well. It's funny because the cliched normal resolution would be to eat LESS. Le sigh). Of course then I got a gnarly migraine around bedtime & ended up throwing up everything I've *ever* eaten, but it's the thought that counts. I haven't vomited from a headache like that I don't think since the last time I went off the topamax; once again, I just don't know how to weigh the pros & cons here. Whether I should go back on it later (remember my refills would've ended in July anyway & I owe that doctor money--it's already gone to collections, so it's past the point of simply paying her back & seeing her again. I'd have to find another doctor once I'm at my new job & either have some type of insurance or can afford the cost of a visit out-of-pocket). I wish I could find another preventative med similar to it that didn't cause so many side effects (i.e. the appetite suppression--which I obviously don't need; plus possibly adding to tiredness, depression, & eye pain/light sensitivity--all of which I already have normally. Etc…). Argh.

Really, my main concern is just that I don't want to screw up another job opportunity because of health issues, y'know? There's only so much you can do to predict/ward off migraines. Sometimes they just show up out of nowhere, like a REALLY undesirable house guest. "HAI THERE, FRIEND! MIND IF I CRASH?" Um, yes. Yes, I do. *glares at body*

I also don't want to take something that makes climbing out of this funk any harder than it has to be, though. So, you can see my predicament. I wish I could just have some kind of magic brain surgery or something. OY.

Anyway though. This is interesting only to me, so I'll move on.

In other positive news: I also worked on my fic a little yesterday. I've been feeling very blocked on it, mostly because I think I just put too much pressure on myself ("THIS ALL SUCKS! I'M DONE! NO ONE WILL LIKE IT! I DON'T EVEN LIKE IT! WAH! I CAN'T EVEN THINK! THERE'S TOO MANY WORDS!"), but also because I've had so much of the sit-and-stare action going on. Where you just stare at nothing & feel utterly *frozen*, if that makes sense. I freaking hate that. But this time I put on my headphones--to minimize outside sound; I wasn't in the mood for music--and forced myself to stay put until I wrote SOMETHING. Then I forced myself to keep writing, even if I had to delete/rewrite my words every other second. Not much progress was made, but after a while I did start to feel like I was getting somewhere. Back in the zone, in other words. I plan to try again today, hopefully.

In weird news: I dreamt about a bear, dogs, & TONS of candy/cookies/pastries last night. According to my subconscious, here's what you should do if a wild bear ever appears in your room: hide under the covers, run into a bathroom, or stay perfectly still & let it stand on its hind legs in front of you like it wants to dance. You know, as one does. What the hell, brain.

In TV news:

-Why was there no Community or Parks & Rec last night? Does anyone know how long they'll be on hiatus?
-Parenthood this week was good, as usual. I like that Amber didn't get into any colleges. She's smart & she works hard, and it's realistic to show that sometimes things still don't work out. I'm looking forward to them mainstreaming Max next year, too. I loved the scene where he was answering all the questions on Cash Cab, like "I can't believe they didn't get that!" Haha. That's so me every time people don't know things on a game show that I know. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THAT? YOU FAIL, SIR! FAIL!" Hee. I'm also starting to warm to Jasmine more & same goes for Crosby. Their current storyline is very relatable. The best part of the ep, though (imo) was the final scene with Julia & her husband, talking about their troubles getting pregnant. That was sad & very well-acted. I think they'll go the adoption route, personally. (P.S. I still have the hots for both of them, in case anyone's curious. Heh. Tell me I'm not alone in this! They are a damn good looking couple)
-After rewatching the pilot for Southland, this is all I have to say: 1. WANT IT BACK, 2. Naaaaaaaate, and 3. John Cooper FTW.
-Lastly, an update on the BSG rewatch: I'm done with seasons 2.0/2.5. "Scar" surprised me, because it made me frakking WEEP this time. Like, having to hold it in-type weeping. Something about Kara's "I've got nothing to lose" in the viper (especially in light of what happens later in "Maelstrom". I mean, you've got Kat yelling, "You're committing suicide, Starbuck!" So, yeah) + the pictures on the memorial wall + her standing up & listing all the names of the dead pilots at the end & Helo telling her she has "something to live for now". GAH. It just really got to me. After "Epiphanies"--and up to the finale--2.5 is mostly pretty meh to me, though. At least in comparison to how good seasons 2.0/the end of the Pegasus arc in 2.5 was & everything after it in season 3 anyway. I do love Caprica Six having a Head Baltar, though. Hee. That never gets old. And of course I enjoy the finale. Duh. Giggly!Roslin, "Why don't you go frak yourself", Cavil messing with Tyrol's head, and--above all else--that epic shot of Baltar at his desk. Boom, ONE YEAR LATER. Cylons marching, Adama & his frakstache, Roslin as a teacher, Kara with long!hair, Festively Plump Leemo (hee), the whole thing. Bring it on, New Caprica!

P.S. Every time I watch that "one year later" bit now, I think of the Bones season 5 finale and this macro/entry. Heh. Baltar as a fic writer for Bones would be cracky hilarity. Come to think of it--SOMEONE SHOULD WRITE THAT. Like, write the story from his POV. Hahaha. Metaaaaa. I can so see him watching the show: "Why don't they just bloody frak already? For frak's sake!"

For my Vid of the Day, I've got one of those "I enjoy this for the music as much as the vid itself" dealios. This song has been stuck in my head all afternoon, for real. (and for those who like to know these things, this is by freelancerxo02)

rachg82: (XF fangirl)
Nope, still haven't watched my shows yet tonight; however, I have been fully sucked in to reading the comments over at Fandom March Madness. Since I'm anal like that, I don't really like jumping into the fray until I've at least tried to catch up on (the gist of) what's already been said, and holy fuckballs this thing only started today & there's over *2,300* comments & 18 pages of .gifs, smacktalk, lulzy macros, non-stop capslock (the "language of March Madness", as my friend [livejournal.com profile] softly_me put it), and cracky fangirl shenanigans.

THIS IS WHAT MARCH WAS MADE FOR, PEOPLE. I so needed this right now.

My favorite comment so far?

I couldn't have said it better myself. Ha. Seriously.

Meanwhile, I feel like I need to personally apologize to Leslie Knope for not giving her my vote. I'M SORRY, BB. I JUST LOVE APRIL SO MUCH.


Haha. Like I said: I SO NEEDED THIS RIGHT NOW. Such a great distraction.
rachg82: (Booth/Bones sexless)
As promised, here is my second entry of the night--set aside all special-like for TV, music-sharing, and random rambly randomness. As one does.

1. Continuing my tidal wave o' recs (this isn't necessarily a new official "thing"--I just feel like doing it right now. I'm blaming it on the loss of Facebook. I usually share songs on there. I got into the habit from another friend of mine), here are three songs I'm listening to today )

2. Parks & Rec: I won't lie; I girlishly flailed. Andy + April = 4eva! *skips through fields of daisies* Except since I'm me, and since April is April, the daisies are of course dead. It being February and all. Heh. But it's the thought that counts.

3. Community: Even with my mood being so low, this episode still cracked me up. I mean, for the love of Jesus, TROY. IN THE BATHROOM. Hahahaha. "Set phasers on LOVE ME!" With his faaaace. "Reading rainbow![/runs off screaming]" I was dying.

4. Bones: cut so I can get my ramble on )

5. For my Vid of the Day, I could use a little laughter. Let's let Veronica Mars bring the goodtimes, shall we? This one's by Nic4347.

rachg82: (Brennan I love music)
1. I'm still enjoying this whole drowning-everyone-in-music/tidal wave o' recs concept, so--check it: three songs I'm listening to today )

2. While I'm sharing links, I had to shine a light on this MTV True Life episode on ASDs. Jeremy typing out his feelings after fifteen years of silence & Jonathan wanting to be a "normal teenager"? I WEPT.

3. Speaking of ASDs, who saw Parenthood this week? THE BUG PARTY. Hahahahaha. "Just cheese!" I was dying. Not to mention, "one perfect kid"? C'mon! My heart can only take so much. With his happy little face? Interrupting Amazing Andy every 2.5 seconds? Maaaaaaax. I love you forever & ever. (it helps too that the rest of the episode was fantabulous as well. Seriously, THIS SHOW. I just love it. Julia's ass! Making love to dough! Heeeee.)

Btw, for those who'd like to watch it now & haven't yet? I'm here for you.

4. Dear Southland, keep kickin' ass. It suits you. Love, me. (there's really nothing else to be said. IT JUST KICKS ASS.)

5. Is there a petition I can sign somewhere requesting that Ron's ex-wife return more often on Parks & Rec? Good God, I love her. And, while I'm on the subject of Thursday night comedies, the fact that Pierce saw a little man while high on pain killers? I believe it. I remember once my mom told me she'd hallucinated a tiny man on my sister's shoulder talking to her, so…yeah. 'NUFF SAID. (P.S. I heart Troy so hard for turning down that hot librarian after she called Abed "weird". I basically ship Troy/Abed at this point, ngl.)

6. I suppose I should try to talk about me too, huh? If it's not obvious already, I'm kind of trying to NOT think about me. I'm a bit exhausted by it all. I just want to be okay, and if I'm not, I want to ignore it. You know? I'll force myself to talk anyway though. I know if I don't, I'll reach a melting point. )

I'm gonna be wild & crazy and end this list on a #6 for once (I usually do lists of five or ten items), which I could explain away to my obsessive brain as something I'm doing due to six being one of my favorite numbers, but which instead I'll do as a way of forcing myself to be spontaneous for once. WELCOME TO MY BRAIN. IT'S WEIRD.

(note: I would not be able to put my Vid of the Day as #7 though, because I hate the number seven. Ha. Seriously. It gives me uncomfortable feelings. Much like the idea of touching a wild mushroom or adult feet.)


For my Vid of the Day, I can't embed the video (DAMN YOU, YOUTUBE), but I highly recommend clicking the link anyway. For anyone who wanted to know what it was like to hang out in person with me during one of my '80s movie nights with Amy last year? This is what it was like.<---i.e. non-stop mocking/over-analyzing/occasional singing. Heh. That being said--this vidder turns it into an artform. "Mullet with headliggghhhts!" HA.
rachg82: (XF fangirl)
I am in the mood for distractions. I still have over an hour until Southland & Parenthood come on, no one's updating their LJs, I don't feel like cleaning or looking for work, and wah wah blah MEH. Hmph.

Therefore, I turn to YouTube. Music is not going to cut it right now. I need stand-up. For those of you who don't know me well yet, comedy is one of my oldest loves. It wouldn't be a stretch to say it was an obsessive interest during my teenage years/early twenties. I don't keep up with new comics that way anymore--probably because I have too many dang fandoms & such (also because Comedy Central simply doesn't focus on comedians as heavily anymore)--but I still adore the medium. When I'm down, it's something I know I can always turn to.

I thought it'd be nice to share a few of the clips I watched tonight with you all. Maybe others could use the pick-me-up as well? Laughter is physically & emotionally beneficial after all (don't make me bust out the science).

P.S. I fucking love India.

Laughter is the best medicine )

August 2017

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