rachg82: (psych on my shoulder)
-Firstly, a big thank you to [livejournal.com profile] a2zmom and [livejournal.com profile] crystalcazzie for the cards and delicious chocolatey goodness. That was such a nice thing to come home to yesterday.

-All the shows going on hiatus is bumming me out a bit; however, after nearly losing my tv/phone/internet this week, I'm just grateful to be able to see ANY shows right about now. And at least Southland is coming back next month! FINALLY.

-I went to PCC yesterday to see an academic advisor, so of course my luck determined that their office would be closed. I was there on a normal day during normal hours, but it was the ONE weekday all month (aside from Christmas) that they had to be Not Open for some reason. Figures. It wasn't a wasted trip though, because I was able to talk to the financial aid people again, confirm my application has been processed (I had originally been told it could take until late January), and get the appeal form I'll need (they based my financial need on last year's taxes, not taking into account my unemployed brokeitude in 2011. This form would appeal that to see if I can get additional grants). So, now I just need to return that form, approve the loans, talk to an advisor/possibly take placement tests again (if needed), and then decide which classes--and how many classes--to take.

-My counseling appt got rescheduled twice this week (first by my therapist, because she was summoned into court, and then by me because I woke up with a migraine), but when I see her next I think I need to talk through some anxiety stuff that's been peeking back out surrounding school. It's been really surreal going back to that campus the last few times, and it turns out I still have a lot of baggage associated with my experiences there. For one, because of certain memories that took place there (e.g. this one particularly horrible day when Mom screamed at me in the parking lot & utterly lost her shit, the difficulty I had with my social phobias there, various classes I never completed after my panic attacks got bad, etc), but also because of current insecurities & years-old shame that somehow make me feel I'm not "worthy" of even being there, like everyone who so much as looks at me knows it. Which is irrational, but it is what it is. And part of it is the same anxiety I've been trying to work through regarding being around people more again in general, but there's no doubt that some is very school/memory-specific -- otherwise I wouldn't be getting that ~everything in slow-motion~ level of self-consciousness again over something as simple as walking down stairs in front of strangers (which was one of my phobias back then, so).

It's just something I'll have to be aware of & work on while I also continue to make sure I check in with myself about how realistic (or not) my expectations are, re: what I can handle at any given time. I may also sit down to do at least one of my old exposure worksheets before the term starts, since I can sense--without even seriously analyzing anything--that there's like a conga line of Thinking Errors dancing their way through my head whenever I set foot on that campus. Like, I go to use the vending machine or whatever, hesitate because it has a different setup than I'm familiar with, and instantly there's this litany of "EVERYONE'S PROBABLY LOOKING AT YOU & THINKING YOU'RE A BRAINLESS WACKJOB. WHY DO YOU EVEN LEAVE YOUR HOME WITHOUT A HELMET?"-esque abuse. And then I wonder why I feel nervous. *rolls eyes* Not to mention feeling nervous distracts you & adds to confusion. Which then feeds back into the "YOU'RE AN IDIOT, SELF" train of insults. Ugh.

Still, unsettled & shaky feeling or not, I have been doing things I needed up there when I've gone, I have talked to people, and I feel pretty good about that.

-I have an idea for a short story (not fanfic), but part of its premise (an entire community aging backwards) could easily be related to an already existing movie. I haven't seen this movie, mind you, but still. If the inspiration continues, I may write it anyway, but IDK yet.

-Let's wrap this entry up with that meme, y/y? Psych and Parks & Rec )
rachg82: (Adama/Roslin Oath kiss)
I don't think I've mentioned this here yet, but [livejournal.com profile] dosidella recently linked me to this site, which allows you to play old-school games like Dr. Mario & Donkey Kong online legally for free (no downloading required). I figured more than a few of you would be interested. So!

In other news:

-Rizzoli & Isles continues to be the gayest thing to ever happen to me. I'm saying. Gayer than my on-again, off-again WTFship with Amy. Gayer than RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo. Gayer than Ms. Jay teaching you how to smize. Gayer than all six seasons of The L Word, including that time Dana took a hit of acid and danced around on stage with Tegan & Sara. Okay, maybe not THAT gay, but pretty effing gay nonetheless )

-I don't have anything to say about Psych, Community, or Parks & Rec this week except to give all-around gold stars.

-Revenge is the crackiest shit that ever cracked.

-I'm still watching Castle, and I enjoyed it this week, though it made me wrack my brain trying to remember the name of the XF fic I read way back when which started out basically the same way. Oh, interwebz.

-Bones )

-I was thinking it'd be fun to do a poll here asking people to choose which three eps they'd use to introduce a newb to the fandom(s) of their choice, but then it was like -- um, I don't know what shows you'd pick or how much room you'd need for your answers. And then of course I could pick the shows, which is what I'm about to do, but creating a real, actual poll for that kind of dealio sounds like a lot of work. And see my mood icon? Right.

So, instead, here's a list of shows (I'm limiting myself to ten). You can share your answers in the comments (and feel free to add new fandoms of your own):

-Bones
-X Files
-Battlestar Galactica
-Buffy
-Angel
-Gilmore Girls
-My So-Called Life
-Community
-Parks & Rec
-Psych

I'll share my choices in my next entry, obviously.

In RL news:

-I made home-made GF mac & cheese tonight, and it was pretty dang good. If you'd handed it to me without telling me it was GF, I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

-Similarly, the GF rigatoni I had with B earlier this week tasted great as well. This is a big hoo-ray thing for me, because up until now I hadn't been able to find any good rice-based noodles, and it was very tragic.

-Aside from the cooking, I've been super lacking in motivation this week. One of those ~I don't want to do anything, say anything, move my body, or think~ situations. Where it's all you can do to get your dishes done, drag yourself to the store, etc. Like, writing this entry is an accomplishment. I missed my appointment with my psych today (though I'm still seeing my counselor tomorrow), spent a lot of time in bed for no reason, took forever to do anything or go anywhere, and yeah. I just feel stressed, I guess. And it's adding to the depression, so that sucks. I think I'm nervous about talking to my sister as well, especially after I reread the email she sent me (from when our uncle died) while I was working on my Year in Review post this week. It's like -- how much could she have changed in five or six months? And what caused her to change? How do I know she doesn't still feel that way underneath it all? How do I know it's not LIKELY she'll say that kind of stuff to me again soon? I'm going to talk to my counselor about it tomorrow, but in the meantime it's weighing on me.

And I think that's it. For my Vid of the Day, here's a lighthearted one by TaraGel:

rachg82: (psych roses)
Note to self,

Next time you ambitiously decide to sift through boxes of old clothes, trying things on & deciding what to toss/give away, kicking up invisible clouds of demonic dust mites in your wake, how's about you remember that you're wicked ALLERGIC to dust & build a time machine first -- y'know, that way you can go back a year or two & NEVER LET YOUR ROOM GET SO DAMNED DUSTY IN THE FIRST PLACE. Ugh.

…Okay, so they're obviously not ~demonic~, but props for alliteration, and I do feel rather possessed by them at the moment. Or perhaps "occupied" would be the better word. Like, there's currently a hayfever drum circle going on in my right nasal cavity. They keep yelling about how my sneezes will not be televised, and I'm like, "That doesn't even make sense, mucus!" It's sort of a thing.

In the interest of full disclosure, I've taken some cold medication in the blind hope that it'll help, and those tend to make my sense of humor slightly goofier than normal (heh, remember the whole "Robi: my BFF" bit last year?). At least it keeps me entertained though while sneezing every second (oh, you think I'm joking? While typing this, I've already sneezed something like, what, six times? Seriously). And it's been like this all day. Horrible. You know allergies are bad when even antihistamines won't put a dent in them. Next time I venture into those boxes, I'm totally wearing a dust mask. And probably buying a hepa filter once I have the money, particularly since turning on my heat for the first time every winter basically equals opening up the gates of Hell to months worth of stored up particulates. Thanks for that, vents!

Anyway, to the point: I started cleaning my room last night, and I even made some marginal progress--two bags worth--but I've been paying the price ever since. Serves me right for putting off shopping yesterday afternoon, as I clearly didn't even remotely feel like doing it today (in between all the itching & napping & pouting. I was very busy, you see), and now I have to deal with feeling bad about that. I mean, I called Nordstroms & confirmed they still do alterations, often for free, and that they can put a rush on the work when needed (I remember them hemming a dress for me once in 24 hours), plus they work during the weekends & are there whenever the place is open, so it's probably not a big deal to go in tomorrow & want the pants back by Sunday. However, I MEANT to go in yesterday, so my flaking out is annoying.

Oh, well. Time to get over it. I'll go in tomorrow after my counseling session. At least I cleaned a little, right? Words really can't express how much I dread either task--cleaning or shoe-shopping--so that's gotta be a win.

Moving on:

-BONES TONIGHT. Between certain spoilers & sneak-peeks, I kind of feel like I've already seen the ep (heh), but nevermind that, because BONES.

-Aside from the Robi-induced crackyness, I've actually been fairly melancholy today, and I don't know why, not fully anyway. Hopefully TV tonight will help. I'll probably feel better once I get over the procastination-guilt tomorrow as well.

-I dreamt yesterday that Mary McDonnell was hanging out with me & one my aunts, taking pictures, signing autographs, and talking about videogames in the living room of the apartment I lived in between 10-12 yrs old. I was all, "OMG, WE'RE TOTALLY BESTIES NOW. LET'S GO PLAY CRASH BANDICOOT!" Why can't all my dreams be like that?

-Most of the time, my reactions to commercials range from mild irritation to outright capslocky indignation ("WHY ARE ALL WRINKLE ADS AIMED AT WOMEN? YOU, SIR, CAN TAKE YOUR SUPPLY & DEMAND & SHOVE IT! GOOD DAY!" and what-not), but every now & again I'll see one that amuses me, like this brill series of Seattle-based insurance ads, for instance )

-I need to buy prilosec again, though my stomach has actually been doing pretty okay over the last day or so without it (still gonna get it though, obvs). I think it might have something to do with me taking the black licorice stuff again before meals, as my naturopath had advised. I'd given up on them for a while because I hated the taste so much, but seriously, self, get over it. Hopefully it continues helping, or the placebo effect continues helping (heh), either way.

-Okay, enough pointless rambling and onto what really matters: television. I don't have anything to say about Psych this week though (other than I enjoyed it), nor Modern Family (other than, "yay, Kevin Hart!", and the usual, "I ♥ Cam"), but let's talk Revenge, shall we? cut for spoilers )

30 song challenge: Day 18 )
rachg82: (cam happy shipper)
1. I could not find my bat headband last night. Very sad. Also sad? No trick-or-treaters. Well, except for a group of teenaged boys who were probably too old for such a thing, though they were at least fully dressed up, & one of them enthusiastically (if not a little spazzily, ha. He like SHOUTED into my apartment) complimented my lava lamp. So, yeah, that was amusing. Except I wish they'd taken more candy; I fell into a bit of a sugar coma somewhere around 9 pm, even added a few of them into a banana mint chocolate chip milkshake, (made with coconut milk!), haha. Oh, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I wish I could quit you.

P.S. Obviously, my stomach is feeling better atm than last week. Well, not totally, but mostly. Regardless, nothing keeps me from hoards of candy on Halloween. Straight-up.

P.P.S. I did see trick-or-treaters on my way home while riding the bus. Tigard, which neighbors my town, does this thing every year on Main Street, opening up the businesses to kids & handing out candy & what-not. It's very cutesy, appropriately so for that area, which takes the "Main Street" cliche to heart, trying to be all down-home & folksy (especially ridic considering that when Jen and I used to live down the road from there it was like non-stop crime central). There are signs up & down the road for things like "burgers" & "stamps", which cracks me up because it's like, "Dude, they can see the McDonalds. They don't need a second sign for 'burgers', like it's the one & only ~burger district~ or something." My favorite though is the "stationary" sign in front of the stationery store. Haha. Spelling fail!

2. Energy assistance was not only able to cover my entire electric bill, but also apply a $50 credit toward my next bill, due in December. V. awesome.

3. I am weak & have already watched the five sneak-peeks for Bones this week. EXCITE. My hands, they are flaily.

4. I'm making my way through season 2 of Psych now, which it turns out I'd already seen a good deal of (I'll end a sentence with a prep if I want to.[/rebel]). But that's okay, because I hadn't seen all the eps, and I don't mind rewatching stuff anyway. This show is just so much joy, y'all. I mean, LASSIE WANTED A PONY AS A LITTLE BOY. Can you even? I WANT TO SQUISH THE LIFE OUT OF HIS STOIC MR. BEAN FACE.

Also: the quote in my subject heading? OMG, I was laughing for at least a minute afterward. I had to pause it.

5. I really need to clean & do laundry & things like that, but I don't want to. I'm trying to put the "five minute" concept into effect that my counselor and I discussed (basically, if you have something you're dreading that's difficult to start, just commit to doing it for five minutes a day or whatever you can handle), but it's still a challenge. I just want to sit/lie motionless all day -- is that so much to ask?

30 song challenge: Days 15 and 16 )
rachg82: (mulder/scully foreheads)
1. Why must Livejournal keep changing the font for posting? I don't approve, sir.

2. I also don't approve of the liquid-hot mag-ma (and the sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their freakin' heads, obviously[/Dr. Evil moment]) churning throughout my stomach, nor whatever the eff it is I did to my back this week (maybe carrying heavy groceries home? Jesus, I'm getting old). It's seriously the kind of pain that makes you want to run into walls, flailing, all, "JUST KNOCK ME OUT." As an alternative to that, I've sort of just been spazzily rocking back & forth, bouncing my leg, & breathing like a Tibetan monk. Y'know, as one does. Ugh. Aleve & Pepto are not really cutting it, can I just say.

3. Somehow I have managed to apply for a handful of jobs though, plus I walked to two different temp agencies today. I have an interview for one tomorrow (they'll probably be the most promising); the second place did an interview with me already (less promising). On a bizarre note, I took a drug test while I was there, and she said it came up positive for meth. Whaaaat in the actual fuck. I was like, "Uhh, no. Not even." I had to tell her the medications I'd taken recently, which didn't even include cold meds (those could explain it, if I had), but she looked up Cymbalta & said she found info indicating it can cause a false positive. So she marked it down as negative in my file. It makes me feel nervous though for future tests. I really hope it's not the medication doing it, and that it was just an error on her part. I've never taken a urine test before where it wasn't run in a lab, so I didn't trust her process much. Also: I looked it up when I got home & didn't find anything conclusive in regards to anti-depressants & false positives, only a bunch of anecdotal stuff. Now of course I'm paranoid it's a kidney infection or something that's causing it, like, "My back *does* hurt! Dun dun DUN." Whatever, brain, God.

4. Meanwhile my stress levels are RIDIC. I don't even have five bucks to my name, and I wish I were kidding. At least I have food, but still. STILL. My phone, internet, & power are all about a hot second from getting cut off. Rent for November is…yeah. I can't even ealihgigh. Where's that wall again? I'd like to run into it now.

You guys have already helped me so much, and I certainly don't expect anyone to help now if they aren't comfortable with it/aren't able, but I'm pretty desperate at the moment, so I'm going to post the link to my PayPal account again in the hopes I can gather at least enough to pay half my rent for November & some of my bills:



5. I realized a flaw in my plan to look for a job as a nanny again -- it was my nephew I used to watch, so it'd be my sister that people might want to call when checking that out. And it's not that I think she'd be so petty as to lie & say I was bad or something; it's more so that I'd worry about the fallout later, personally. Her emails still go straight into spam, but you just never know. Plus what if she got that call & started going off to my mom or my grandma or whomever about how I haven't seen Jayden or Isabella in almost a year but now I'm gonna ~go watch other people's kids~ & what a horrible person I am & bla bla bla, and then Jayden overhears, and God, IDEK. I'm gonna talk to my counselor about it on Thursday, probably, to get her perspective. It might be too much for me to have to think about at this point, but we'll see.

6. I finished season 1 of Psych yesterday -- super enjoyable. Especially the last two episodes. I swear, when Lassie got Shawn's bike back for him, my heart grew three sizes. And? Jules with a pink headband is just about the cutest shit ever. I wanted to tackle-squish her. Ooh, AND: Shawn/Jules = smack your mama-levels of adorbs + I'm in love with Gus. I think that about covers it.

7. My fic is pretty much done. I only have a line or two left to write & then a final read-through of the whole thing, so: probably tomorrow(ish), barring the Hellmouth in my GI tract opening up & swallowing us all whole. Let the drumroll begin!

8. I'm still watching Castle to give it a shot, and I'm liking it more now, though not quite to a fangirly degree. At least not yet; sometimes it happens gradually for me. But it's keeping my interest. I was amused by last night's Halloween episode having such a similar plot to the Psych finale I'd just watched, heh. Oh, TV. With your tropes!

9. I was looking for a clip on YouTube the other day by Maria Bamford (one of my longtime favorite comedians), and while I didn't find the exact one I was looking for, I ended up finding something even better. Basically, the story behind it is that she had a nervous breakdown a few years back, leading to her moving back in with her parents ('cross country), and while she was there--recovering, getting back on her feet--she filmed a series of "shows" in her room, sort of documenting the experience for her fans. If you're familiar with her comedy, you'll immediately recognize the family members she impersonates, but these vids go deeper than that. They're frequently hilarious, as you'd expect, but also brilliant, and honestly pretty damn moving at times. She talks so candidly about her depression & anxiety, things I very much identify with, at a level that is super brave imo considering her public status. There are twenty "episodes" in all, only a few minutes each, and OMG they just made my night while watching. The final one had me in tears, TWICE. Like, I rewatched it today & cried all over again. It's funny how sometimes you come across something you SO need to see at the exact right time. That's how it felt.

Anyway, so I absolutely knew I'd want to share the links here, which I'll do below. If you only have time to watch one for now, though, at least make it this one:



And here are the rest )

…off to go rewatch all twenty again, brb.

10. Wrapping this up, I managed to get four days behind on that song challenge meme, so I'd better get on that. Days 7-10 )
rachg82: (adelle/dominic bringing sexy back)
1. I wrote up a to-do list this weekend (I'm calling it my "stress list" for now, heh), but I haven't gotten super organized yet with working out when I'll tackle each thing. I think I'll ask my counselor for help with that. I have at least crossed a couple things off so far, though. I did the dishes (already need to do them again, but whatever. That's life when you stop eating out every day), finished a load of laundry (many more to go--I want to clear the boxes of crap off my bedroom floor & donate old stuff, etc), took a shower, & completed my online FAFSA application for student aid. Tentatively, I think I'll plan on trying to go see an advisor on Monday, and I will probably set aside at least some time tomorrow for grocery shopping & job-related matters, most likely just filling out a profile on care.com to start & then seeing how I feel about applying for anything after. I've been having an uber hard time getting myself to start anything lately, or go anywhere, so it's slow-going. I mean, my anxiety's been pretty damn intense over the last few evenings, ngl. But I'm happy with myself for at least getting the FAFSA application done. I think that's important.

On a similar note, I'm going to give myself a pat on the back for attempting not one, but TWO new things in the kitchen yesterday. I still had potatoes from the food pantry as well as eggs--and while eggs are one of the things I'm sensitive to (on the "low" list), I really wasn't up to dragging myself to the store to buy new stuff with the SNAP benefits yet--so I watched a couple YouTube cooking vids & then made myself some tacos with fried potatoes, scrambled eggs, & cheese. I've never cooked anything with potatoes before (unless you count instant mashed potatoes, which you probably don't, heh), and same goes for eggs (unless you count adding them to baking mixes).

I struggle really badly with recipes that call for too many things to be juggled at once, especially if I don't have specific timelines for when I need to do each thing, plus I tend to put a LOT of pressure on myself to get things right, so I was already feeling wicked on edge before I even began. But it helped when I reminded myself that, y'know, no one else is here -- no one is going to get on my case if I screw up. It's not like how it used to be when I lived with my family, getting mocked or criticized or yelled at for every tiny thing. It's okay to be uncoordinated & spill things, it's okay to accidentally finish one thing way before another, it's okay if it takes me a hundred years to peel & slice potatoes, it's okay to need to look at directions over & over, it's okay to be anal about measurements, it's okay to overcook something when I'm being paranoid about undercooking it, it's okay if it ends up gross even. Fortunately, it didn't end up gross, but that's not the point. The point is I tried. And it is hard, because I did internalize a lot of how I was treated by my family over the years, so it's not easy for me to be patient with either myself or the process when it comes to things like this.

2. Thanks to a number of you, I've begun watching Revenge. I have a couple questions & thoughts )

3. I got season 1 of Psych from the library today. I'm feeling very--wait for it--PSYCHED to watch. Ahaha…ehh. Sorry about that. Heh.

4. I wish I could afford a haircut. Mine is way too long right now, like at least five inches past my shoulders. Such a pain. Also a pain? The psoriasis that's made a reappearance on my scalp as of late. UGH.

5. This entry seems like it's missing something, but whatevs, I want to go watch my DVDs. So. Time to wrap this up. 30 day song challenge: days 5 and 6 )
rachg82: (personal slogan)
You know what I really hate? When you actually feel motivated to do things, but your health is all, "NO. DENIED." I have had the same unrelenting migraine since yesterday morning, albeit now on the opposite temple because my brain likes to ~mix it up~. And I mean, my head hurts every day anyway (even if not *all* day), but I'm talking about the kind that straight owns your ass, i.e. the kind I generally only get a couple times a month, fortunately (or unfortunately, I suppose, depending on your perspective. I'm personally grateful for every moment in my life that doesn't include pain). It's receded now to the point of being tolerable as long as I keep the lighting dim, stay in a quiet place, & don't move my head around much, but it's still totally interfering with what I'd LIKE to be doing, and it frustrates me. On top of that, I really need to eat something, but the last thing I want to do is cook or go to the store, plus my stomach is icky feeling anyway.

But I'm not going to complain too much, because at least my SNAP benefits finally got processed. So when I am able to walk to the store, I CAN buy food. I do have a pork chop thawing in my fridge right now, plus potatoes, so I already have a set option for one meal as it is (two if I decide to try cheesy potato tacos, though that doesn't have much protein, and I need protein when I'm fighting a migraine); however, see above, re: the last thing I want to do. Grr, argh. River was right; food is problematic.

Anyway. Enough about that. Here's some other stuff:

-As soon as I feel a bit more clearheaded, probably after I've eaten, I'm going to follow my therapist's advice & write down a list of things I need to do/am worried about/or whatever, and try to prioritize how much I can handle doing at once & when I'll try to do them, etc. Hopefully that will make it easier for me to approach things like uber-overdue bills & job searches. As it stands, I can't even hear a mention of unemployment on TV without tensing up. I may post the list here afterward, or bring it with me to my next appointment, but I haven't decided on that yet. It'd probably be a good idea if I did, though.

-Speaking of my therapist, I had another appointment with her yesterday. cut for rambling )

-There's an ACA retreat up in Washington next month that I'd really like to attend--like a non-summer summer camp for stunted adult children--but I'm not sure yet whether it costs anything (I'm sure it does). Wah. THEY HAVE CANOES.

-We'll wrap this up with some TV/movie talk:

Parenthood )

-Psych )

-I watched a couple documentaries yesterday as well. One was from Current's Top 50 list ("Tarnation"), and the other I just came across randomly while browsing the library ("Finding Normal"). Both were really interesting to watch and well-made, though I'll admit Tarnation left me sad because it touched on a lot of stuff I've been trying to work through lately in regards to my mom's history with mental illness and doctors/hospitals, while bringing up a lot of new emotions & memories too. But it was extremely evocative & something that needed to be expressed. Kind of brilliant, actually. I just couldn't help also feeling like it was somehow incomplete or unbalanced by the end, though maybe that was intentional in its own way as well. Either way, I understand why they put it on the list.

I was totally satisfied by "Finding Normal" though (more than satisfied, really. I pretty much loved it & didn't want it to end. Seriously), despite it being much less flashy & artistic; it's the kind of documentary I'd buy if I had more money, because I can see myself wanting to rewatch it every now & again. I identified with so much of it, not just on behalf of addicts I've known (it's about a treatment/housing program here in Portland & follows both new patients & their mentors -- who are also recovering addicts themselves), but on behalf of myself & the ACA traits I picked up from them. It's like 100% real talk throughout the whole thing, no bullshit. And I love that they manage to take the topic and stay realistic, destigmatize the process of having a problem & getting help, show that not everyone makes it, yet also leave you feeling uplifted by the end. It's just exactly the kind of thing I needed to see.

For those who would like to check out the trailers, voila: Tarnation and Finding Normal.

-Lastly, I got a day behind on my song challenge, so today's VotD will cover two: Days 3 and 4 )
rachg82: (Bones therapy)
I'm sleepy & have already been on my computer for too long (blame Text Twist & the neverending about-to-end fic of doom), so this entry will be quick:

-Psych )

-Community )

-Parks & Rec )

-I feel like I have more things to say, but again with the sleepyness. I had an appointment with my counselor today, which I'll probably talk more about later. For now, I'll leave y'all with a Vid of the Day. This one's by Jarisafia:

rachg82: (psych on my shoulder)
1. Rent for October is PAID. I couldn't pay the entire late fee (I'm still waiting for some of the PayPal funds to be transferred to my bank account. Once they go through, I'll have $128.49 left), but my apartment manager was willing to push the remaining $21 to next month. I'm kind of paranoid now that some surprise thing will get debited before the check goes through (like stupid Bally's Gym, for instance. HATE THEM), but that probably won't happen. I haven't used my card for anything in forever, and even Bally's hasn't charged me since July, which makes me wonder if my contract finally ended. I will so throw imaginary confetti in the air if that's the case. They have been such a pain in my ass over the last few years.

I did end up needing my friend's help after all, because rent assistance was already out of funds by the time I called. There was nothing I could've done about that, unfortunately, since I didn't get my eviction notice until yesterday, and I couldn't request assistance until then. Normally, people get their notice on the 8th & call that day; however, my apartments apparently don't hand eviction notices out until after the 10th.

I have a little over three weeks before November's rent becomes an issue, but: one thing at a time. I know she's willing to work out a payment plan with me if I can pay the full amount in three installments before that month is over; if I can't, but I can still pay at least half the full amount, she's willing to push the rest to the following month & try to work something else out. She told me she's helping me like this because she can tell I'm "really trying," and I have to say, I'm INCREDIBLY grateful for it. I'm so glad she took over a while back. If I were dealing right now with the old management? Ugh. This story would've gone a lot differently.

2. I'm not sure what to do about my phone/internet/tv bill or my electric bill just yet (both are overdue by a lot), but I can't think about that right now. I'll give it a few days, then revisit it.

3. When my friend dropped off the money today, she included a GF baking mix (works for pancakes, banana bread, cookies, etc), paper towels (which I needed), my favorite kind of GF bread (Udi's--it's the only kind that's good, seriously. Trader Joe's doesn't carry it), and a little bag of aroma therapy bath stuff. Some of it had already been used, so I think she had it around the house vs. buying it, but DUDE. Really, really nice of her. The lotion smells amazeballs, and the skin on my hands right now is like BUTTAH--as the Coffee Talk lady would say.

4. My stomach was still hurting like an a-hole last night, so I didn't get much done, but I did do a load of laundry for the first time in a while. Honestly, there's a blanket that I threw up on while camping last summer--which had been completely rinsed off but never truly washed--that had been lying on my bedroom floor all this time (well, more so "in a shin-high pile of other also-unwashed items" than the floor, but you get the idea). It finally got washed. I'd be embarassed to admit how long it took me to do, but I'm keeping it real here. This is what depression looks like.

5. I'm still going to look into school stuff first (I think I'll take the bus to PCC tomorrow & just try to talk to someone in person, since the financial aid dept's number's always busy), but I am thinking up preliminary job plans too. It's still scary, especially because of my crappy health, and because I despise anything that's up in the air, but yeah. Once more with feeling--one thing at a time. Amongst other things, I'm going to set up a profile on care.com and see if maybe there's a nanny/tutor/housekeeping-type job I can do. My friend B suggested it, and is now sending me all sorts of links, which is appreciated, though it's also kind of stressful because I feel like it puts pressure on me. I'm just reminding myself that all I can do is try. I may or may not meet people's expectations; I can't control that. I just don't want it to become one of those things where she wants to help me, but then ends up resenting me because she doesn't think I'm doing enough to help myself or am not being successful at it or whatever.

6. New Psych starts toniiiight. I am legit excited. I've been going through this list of quotes from the show today & cracking up. Like, my neighbors might've heard. Heh.

I'm pleased to say I'm feeling excited now for Bones' return next month, too. The spoilers have been getting better, and the reviews from critics who've seen the first couple eps already are super encouraging.

7. Facebook continues to be the most annoying thing on the planet--I try to use it, try to like it, but argh. It's like an instant douche converter--but every now & then I do see something funny on there. Case in point: True statements are true )

8. I need like an alarm bell to go off every time I pick a food item to eat, reminding me to thoroughly check the ingredients, I swear. Why must my new boysenberry jam have corn syrup? Why must Doritos include wheat? Life HARD.

9. Parenthood )

10. I had the most random childhood memory come back to me yesterday. It's really not interesting enough to share here, but watch me do it anyway. Heh. I was following a link that one of my LJ flistmates shared, looking related stuff up (as one does. I like to learn about crap, what can I say), and came across info about sensory issues in children. It offhandedly mentioned kids flipping their shit over vacuum cleaners, and instantly my mind was like, "OMG, I REMEMBER THAT." Totally all ~poof~ out of nowhere. Heh. My mom used to come & warn me if she were going to use the vacuum, literally apologizing for it & being all "I'll try to be quick," and I'm talking up to at least the age of 12 (now that I'm remembering it, I'm pretty sure it continued after that for some time), and I remember yelling at her to stop if she did it for too long. Also: if she were vacuuming in the same room as me, I'd tuck into a corner/sit on a chair hugging my knees/get as far away from it as I could & cover my ears until she was done. It was an especially funny time to remember this, too, because I'd just posted on facebook about how annoyed I was by my upstairs neighbors vacuuming for too long. Ha.

For my Vid of the Day, I'll share a vid that [livejournal.com profile] sumpta and I were laughing about earlier. It's fairly appropriate this week:

rachg82: (psych roses)
1. Today is [livejournal.com profile] dosidella's birthday, and though I've already wished her a happy one, I'm gonna do so again now. She may or may not be receiving her gift in the form of a miniature pony named Grease Lightning. What? Don't act like you haven't always wanted one.

2 One more day until new Psych! USA's been airing a lot of reruns this week, too, which is enjoyable as I still haven't seen all the eps. That show is great for picking my spirits up when I'm feeling down.

3. Speaking of feeling down: apologies in advance for the TMI, but I woke up vomiting again last night, i.e. was doing it in my sleep. I'm so frustrated by my health right now, I can't even say. Every time I think things might be settling down, my body's all, "Ha! Gotcha."

4. I have two appointments today -- one with a doctor to check in on the new med, and the other with the counselor. I'm in one of those moods where I really don't even want to go & talk to anyone, but I will.

ETA: Scratch that. Leave it to me to forget I don't have enough change for a bus ticket & am still waiting for my new ATM card to come in the mail, meaning I should've left much earlier to get to the bank & withdraw money face-to-face in time to catch the bus. Now, there's no way I can get there on time, like even close. The clinic called me this morning to confirm the appointment too; now, I have to reschedule & feel like a flake. Arghhh.

5. I called rental assistance yesterday, but it was too early for them to help me as I hadn't been given a written eviction notice yet. I talked with my apartments & they said it should be done today, but I don't know at what time. So, depending on that, I may be able to call rental assistance back this afternoon or may have to wait until tomorrow morning.

6. I only have one section left on my fic, y'all. One. Uno. So close I can taste it. I think I might almost be sad to see it finished, but seriously, it's been eight months. Time to wrap this bad boy up. It's not even that long for crap's sake. (hovering between 5,500-6,000 words, currently) It's just been a really slow process with lots of obsessive editing. I hope it resonates with people though. It makes me want to cry like ten thousand times while reading it, myself, haha. But not in a bad way! It just evolved to become much more about processing grief & trauma than I originally thought it would, that's all.

7. I went with B to the food pantry last night, then Trader Joe's where she got me about $60 worth of food, including a gluten-free chocolate cake, which was at her insistence btw. Heh. I haven't had any yet (it's chillin' in my freezer -- pun intended), but CHOCOLATE. Always a good.

Shopping at the food pantry was difficult, because of my food intolerances & because there wasn't a huge number of options. As it is, the only kind of GF cereal I saw there was Corn Flakes, and…yeah, I'm not supposed to have corn. But I was all, "that's a huge box, self, FOR FREE. Plus, it's not like you've entirely eliminated corn yet, what with the tortillas & all. Give it a shot." I mean, the type of corn is different--tortillas are simple, with few ingredients, while the cereal has corn syrup added & crap--but still. So I did, upon returning home, having a bowl of it + a sliced-up banana for dinner since my stomach was already being acidy to begin with (and I thought it'd be fairly bland). Cue: waking up three hours later with gooey banana/cereal chunks all over my shirt/pillow. Fun. I'd say I need to wait longer after eating before going to bed, but honestly the same thing has happened even when I did. That time it happened when I was camping last summer, I ate around six pm, fell asleep probably around midnight, and woke up around 6/7 am the next morning barfing on my sleeping bag. So, who the eff knows.

At least I got food though. And I think I can eat most of the stuff from TJ's without a huge issue. I'm most excited to try the brown rice tortillas I got, which I haven't seen ANYWHERE else, except online. I only wish they weren't so expensive. You can get a giant amount of little corn tortillas for like two bucks, seriously. Meanwhile you can pay like a dollar or two MORE for exactly four big rice tortillas. I HATE MY STOMACH. Apparently it doesn't understand how much I love tacos & burritos.

8. Ken Jennings has an Asian clone. Or at least that's my theory. There's a dude on Jeopardy right now that is gettin' it, day after day. I love it when that happens.

9. My neighbors decorated our entire side of the building with fake spiders & cobwebs. It's cute.

10. Oh, I almost forgot! My friend B told me that if rent assistance falls through, she can swing the rest (something like $140, assuming I don't pay off any other bills) to cover October, minus the late fee -- which my manager told me can be pushed off anyway. I assume that means if it *doesn't* fall through, but I still need a little help next month (which: I will, unless my manager magically decides to let me have free room & board), she might be able to help me then. Not enough to cover the whole thing, obviously, but a portion. I wish I didn't have to think about any of this, it still totally stresses me out, but at least I'm not totally alone in it either.

For my Vid of the Day, how about some T.T. Showbiz action? (the extra T is for extra talent) Credit goes to CliffyProd. Enjoy:

rachg82: (roslin operahouse)
I just sneezed something like ten times in five minutes. I think that's my allergies' way of telling me to clean my room. Well. FAT CHANCE OF THAT HAPPENING, ALLERGIES.

…I need a maid.[/first world problems]

In non-first-world-problem news, you guys are amazing. Paypal takes a small chunk away from every donation, but currently I still have a net balance of something like $460. I'm praying the rent assistance comes through this morning too, because if it does, and if I get the full amount (almost enough for rent), I'll be able to pay October's rent/late fee (with both the donations/assistance combined) & have a little to put toward next month's. Plus it means I can eat a little until the SNAP funds come through, which they're taking their sweet-ass time doing (it could take until the 18th at the latest). I actually counted up all the pennies in my apartment this weekend, taking them to the local coinstar machine, and ended up with a little over five bucks, and was all excited because it meant I could buy ice cream & toilet paper without guilt/stress (the ice cream was a treat). So, yeah. If it weren't for all of you, I'd have eleven dollars left right now.

This still leaves bills that are late, my needing to get a job and/or school loans asap, the possibility of rent assistance *not* going through, but it's SOMETHING. A lot of something. It makes thinking about handling the rest significantly easier, and I appreciate that hugely.

I'll be going to the food pantry tonight--it turned out to be way far from the nearest bus stop, and I was concerned I couldn't carry a week's worth of food/supplies nearly a mile by myself--with my old Xerox coworker/friend, B (not the 'B' I had a crush on. Heh. There were two of them!). Technically, her name is actually Rachel, but, y'know, since MINE is Rachael, we call each other by our last names or last initials. ~As one does~. (there really were too many damn Rach(a)els born in the 1970s/'80s, seriously) She offered on her own to take me to Trader Joe's afterward too, at her expense, since they supposedly have a lot of GF stuff & what-not. Accepting help like this from a friend still makes me nervous--you never know if the person's trying to somehow "fix" you, is doing it out of pity not love, and will expect some type of medal for it later--but that doesn't eliminate the gratitude.

In other, more random news:

-I think the recent extra burst of stress is taking its toll on my body now (or: adjusting to the new med, perhaps? Or both?). I've been sleeping like 10-12 hours a night, still needing naps, totally exhausted, yet my heart's just like "BEATBEATBEATBEAT" non-stop. I'll wake up from one of said naps, and my pulse will still just be truckin' along like a spazzy crackhead, all rapid-fire. And I'm like, "Uhh, I've been unconscious, not moving. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, HEART?" I'd write it off to bad dreams, but it's often like that when I'm awake too, and I've been down this road many-a-times before with palpitations, so I know it's just something to accept & not freak out over. So annoying though. Every time it happens, the neurotic, irrational part of me yells, "OMG, IT'S A HEART-ATTACK." Then the rest of me is like, "SHUT UP, LOON. NO, IT'S NOT. UGH."

-When I was at the coinstar machine the other night? There was a woman in front of me in line with over $130 worth of change. I was just like: Umm. Dude. I will never make fun of pennies again.

-Dark Matters continues to be delightful. Here's a trailer (you know you want it):

America, circa early-1960s: HEY, SOVIETS. COMMIEDOUCHEBAGSAYSWHAT?
USSR: Wha--*beat* ORLLY? So, it's like that, huh?
America: IT'S LIKE THAT.
USSR: Hmm, well, guess what we'll be doing tonight while you're banging your mother?
America: Actually, that was your mother.
USSR: MY MOTHER IS DEAD.
America: …
USSR: ANYWAY. We'll be blowing up a big, fat nuke in space. But don't worry, it obviously has nothing to do with you. *shifty eyes*
America: THAT'S FINE. We'll just blow up a bigger one.
Scientists: Uhh, guys? That might not be a good idea.
America/USSR: SHUT UP, NERD.

~History~. It's fun like that. Also: there's people transplanting monkey heads. I bet you wish you had a monkey head.

-The new season of Psych starts this Wednesday. This is all I have to say:



-Last time I went to Taco Del Mar, there was an employee there who hadn't seen me in a while (she yelled out "HI!" when I walked in, causing the whole line to turn & stare. Heh. It was cute), and she told me cut for weight stuff )

-There's a good chance I'll be done with my fic in the next day or two. I spent most of yesterday working on it before hitting a block. I think I just needed a break though & am hoping I'll fly through the rest in similar fashion. It's *so close* to the end. It's one of the only things I feel interested in right now, too, so the mojo comes at a good time.

And that's it. I'm behind on comments again, but I'll try to catch up soon. In the meantime, here's an epic movie-style trailer of one of my favorite Psych eps (by PinkRosePictures2):

rachg82: (Booth/Bones superhero detectives)
It's unfortunate that my world is so full of stressful suck at the moment--October is normally one of my favorite months. I will say though that I enjoyed seeing my apartment manager's office covered in green cobwebs today (Why green? Mutant spiders, I'm guessing. Or because they have a secret desire for me to walk by & ask, "Going GREEN, are we? I hear that's big these days! OHH, RIMSHOT. WHO'S WITH ME"), not to mention all the Psych promos airing now for the upcoming 10/12 premiere. Which are basically making my entire life right now, just so y'all know. So much so that I had to pick a few favorites & embed them here (and by "a few", I mean five. Er). As one does )

…I really need some Psych icons. Seriously.

In other news, a new Bones promo popped up on the interwebz today as well. It's adorbs & much more promising imo than the previous promo they'd been showing. It can be found here.

In other, other news: I watched the first two eps (from the current season) of Castle tonight. YOU'RE WELCOME, FANDOM. Heh. I'll be honest and admit I'm totally biased against it--I do this with shows sometimes, hee. I did it with Buffy, for instance, for like years--and spend most of my time whenever I catch an ep mocking it in my head, but there's part of me that enjoys parts of it too. So I'll give it a bit more time and see if I warm up more. I reserve the right to keep mocking it internally though. No promises.

In other, other, other news: I'm still having a pretty rough time of it with my anxiety levels and SI issues, especially today. Like, kind of almost through the roof. I don't want to go into it in more detail than that though without a flocked post/trigger warning, but, yeah -- case in point as to why I could use some easy TV-induced happytimes even more so than usual atm. There've been a few times over the last week or so where I probably should've just called someone, like tonight for instance, but I just don't want to right now; I didn't even talk about it here the last time I self-injured, before today. What I do want is to have things be BETTER (no talking required, just ~magic~. Totally realistic). Get the food stamp money asap, find out what's up with unemployment (and have it be a positive result), pay my rent on time, figure out What I Want To Do next *without* the money-panic weighing me down, get used to my new counselor & new medication, and take things from there. I just, ugh, can't even talk about it more than that.

I did at least accomplish a couple things today though, despite the badness above. Ran a few errands (couldn't drag myself out in time for the ACA meeting, though. It took me a while to do anything. One of those "want to dig a hole & hide in it"-type days.), wrote a bit more for my fic, listened to a crapload of songs on YouTube, shook my fist in the air at Super Mario Bros. 2 & 3 (screw you, princess. Save yourself! I don't want your letters! Heh), and…okay, so that's not that much. But it felt like a lot. I was running on three hours sleep after waking up at 4 am from a nightmare. Really wish the recurring "someone showing up in my apartment" dreams would go the fuck away. aclieahogih CREEPY. I get out of bed & feel like I need to check the shadows & shit. So mental. Not that they'll stop me from probably watching a hot mess of horror movies/shows over the Halloween season, but shh.

Anyway, that's all for now as I should probably try to get to bed. Though I'll more likely try to beat my high score on Text Twist again, instead. But it's the thought that counts.

P.S. I'm behind on comments, but I do intend to try to catch up soon.

For my Vid of the Day, how's about I share three of the songs I listened to today? It's been a while since I did that. Behind the cut 'cause I'm considerate like that )
rachg82: (rizzoli matching puke outfits)
1. Just made a rice protein smoothie with those blueberries I bought at the Farmers Market, plus added rasberries, bananas, honey, & a combo of rice & almond milk. It was pretty much the biggity biggity bomb. Just so y'all know.

2. It's about time for an icon meme, methinks. Taken from [livejournal.com profile] torigates:



my answers )

3. Since tomorrow is Labor Day, I won't be working. As for today, I worked 6 am - 1 pm instead of the normal 6:35 am - 5:05 pm Sunday shift I would've had. It's amazing how short a seven-hour day feels when you're getting used to ten. Unfortunately, I won't get holiday pay since I don't qualify yet, but I'll be working a full day on Tuesday & a half-day on Wednesday to make up for it. I'll even get something like two hours of overtime pay, technically. I'll probably exhaust myself in the process, but whatevs. I really need money. Currently, I have something like thirty-odd dollars to last me the next two weeks. GOOD TIMES.

4. Speaking of work, behold my favorite customer quote of the day (re: the increasing absence of pay phones on the streets due to everyone getting cell phones): "I mean, where's Superman gonna change his clothes?"

Also, gotta love the 90 year old woman I helped get signed up today, who, when asked if she had an email address, was like, "What's that?" Cue me answering, "Email? You know, on the internet?" And her shouting (they always shout, haha), "Internet?! What?" And me again, like: "Um, internet…like on a computer?" And then her final response of, "OH, I DON'T HAVE ONE OF THOSE. I'M LUCKY IF I CAN FIGURE OUT MY TV, HONEY." Hee!

FYI: I heard yesterday that the oldest customer we have is 106. Apparently he's pretty with it, too. *106* (it bears repeating). I can't even. He would've been three when the Model T came out. And he has a cell phone before I do. Haha.

5. A lot of my flist has been doing this, most recently [livejournal.com profile] keenai, so I'll jump on the bandwagon. Here's my Fall/Winter TV Schedule )

That's all for tonight. For my Vid of the Day, let's celebrate the upcoming return of Community this month (not to mention season 2 coming out on DVD) with some awesome Abed quotes, edited together by tvgirl17:



ETA: I can't resist:

rachg82: (Adama/Roslin reading is sexy)
1. Here are my answers for that ship meme )

2. I was on hold with the unemployment agency for three--count them, THREE--hours today. Let me break it down for y'all:

First hour: Waiting, waiting, waiting -- whoops, my cordless phone died. SON OF A.

Second hour: Calling back on old school coiled-cord-having phone (bonus: it magically turns modern hold music into funky victrola jamz (not really)), waiting, waiting, almost falling asleep while waiting, waiting -- whoops, wrong department, ma'am! Let me transfer you…(nooo)

Third hour: Wait, wait, aaaand wait some more -- FINALLY GET SOMEONE ON THE LINE WHO CAN HELP.

I swear to the gods. BUT. Good news is they filed a new claim & did the benefit year fix-y thing, so I'll still get the same amount per week as before. For now, at least. I was so anxious during that call, though, can I just say. I've taken to repeating The Serenity Prayer to myself over the last few days, whenever my anxiety/stress levels start hitting the roof, and I definitely had to remind myself of it a couple times then.

3. I finally walked over to that call center up the street yesterday. The person I needed to talk to wasn't available, but I spoke with another guy who gave me the info I needed to apply online (which I did, once I arrived home). I was wicked nervous while talking to him/handing over my resume (my hand was like a pissed-off faultline), but I'm not really surprised by that. It's gonna be hard for me to suddenly be around a lot of people again (in new situations), but as long as the job itself is something I can do (physically & mentally/psychologically -- i.e. it's not something completely out of my comfort zone that's constantly inducing panic), then I know the rest will ease up some in time. The beginning is always the hardest part for me. I remember when I started at Xerox (and again, anytime I underwent a big change there), I was such an anxious wreck that I'd end up throwing up/getting sick in the restroom more days than not. SO miserable. But I got through it.

The online application process involved a few tests, too, e.g. one for math, one for your personality, etc. I haaaate when employers do the personality ones. Everything feels like a trick question, all, "Sooo, do you like people?" Like, what? Which people? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? Sometimes…I guess? Is that okay? I HATE YOU. You're "people". NOW WHAT.

(…I seem to be into capslock today. Don't mind me. This is what happens after three hours on hold & thinking shiny happy shippy thoughts for that meme. Now I'm simultaneously drained & hyper.)

Anyway, I didn't hear back from them yet, and I don't know if that's not a big deal or bad news, or what. We'll see.

4. Since I knew I wasn't going to be on the streets in the near future, I let myself buy some art supplies earlier. Two pads of paper (one for charcoal/pastels & one for wet media), a small set of paintbrushes, and watercolor paints. I'm used to using oils, but that means disposing of paint thinner & all that hassle, so I decided to branch out this time. We'll see how it goes.

5. I was supposed to get together with my friend last night, but for boring reasons I won't bore you guys with, it got pushed back to next week. I told her there'd be a cancellation fee if she does it again. Heh. MY TIME IS MONEY.

Aaand that's it for today. For my VotD, I'll cap off the vidspamming above with a bit more shippy-action (by Very987). This one combines a great episode with great music. Kinda can't go wrong, there.



ETA: Why is Mother Russia LJ making me have to repeatedly refresh the page to get embedded videos to appear? I do not approve!
rachg82: (here for laura)
-I'm feeling especially sleepy & lazy right now. What I'd really like to do is plan an evening in front of the TV with pop & snacks, but nooo.

-There's an ACA meeting this afternoon, but there's also one on Monday evenings. I'd have to get ready in a hurry (and pay for a cab) to go to the one today without being late, so I'm kinda tempted to do the Monday one instead. Especially because public transit is more convenient on weekdays.

-I do however want to go somewhere today. I just don't want to rush. I'm thinking I'll make myself a sandwich for lunch, take a shower, and then bus it down to Portland. I can make a pitstop at Forest Park to finish [livejournal.com profile] gina227's photo meme question from way back & then take care of [livejournal.com profile] keenai's by hitting up Voodoo Doughnut. The one downtown is still closed for renovation, but dear God have I been craving their donuts something fierce lately, so I don't even care--I'll go to the NE one. And I can excuse the gluttony by having taken a walk. TADA.

-[livejournal.com profile] teachlikeroslin and [livejournal.com profile] scifi_mel have created their own Hot 25 lists as well, in case some of you missed them & would like to see. You can find them here & here.

-Big-ups to New York, y'all. I'm sure you've all heard the news by now, so I'll just say this: I really needed a big smile this week & they delivered.

-Many of you on my flist are bemoaning the late Fall premiere of Bones this year & wondering how you'll fill your time. Fortunately, you have me, the TV-obsessed oompa loompa who never tires of pimping new shows. May I suggest any of the following? )

-I worked on my fic a bit more last night. It still feels a lot like chipping away at a huge block of granite, but sometimes that's just how it goes. At least there's progress being made, albeit incredibly slowly. I guess on the bright side the longer summer hiatus means less of a hurry for things like this.

-I put a temporary halt to my BSG rewatch after my uncle's death (being at the end of s4, I think most of you will understand why), but I think I'm ready to jump back into it now, once my TV's working again that is. I only have a few eps left. Pretty sure the finale's gonna kill me, but I don't mean that in a bad way. It'll just be emotional because of the subject matter.

Anyway, I'm gonna get going now, before I can convince myself that napping would be a better way to spend the rest of the day.

For my VotD, here's an appropriately themed song:

rachg82: (annie dancing bones)
1. The first section of my fic finally feels polished & complete, allowing me to move on to the next part. It's at about 1,620 words right now, and I could--if I wanted--probably get away with posting it as its own ficlet. I don't want to though, because I want to cover more stuff, and I'm not a fan of doing things in chapters as a WIP (for my own stories, I mean). But I'm glad to at least feel like I'm making more progress now. This one has really been tedious & slow-going, mostly probably because it's really important to me that I get it right.

2. I had a dream last night that St. Vincent (as in the singer) was my girlfriend. IF ONLY. Of course I was also apparently dating Booth (and there were two of him, might I add. I was only with one, however. The other was douchey. Ha. CLONES TODAY, I tells ya).

3. Speaking of fictional boyfriends )

4. I got my ACA book in the mail the other day. See, I knew it wouldn't take 4-6 weeks. Now to start reading it.

5. One of my meetup groups is going to a free classical concert event next week, and I signed up to go. So far there's only one other person going though, heh. But there's another meetup group (for music) that we'll be meeting up with there, so I'm assuming there'll be at least a handful of people attending. Hopefully it's a good performance.

That's pretty much it for now. There's other things I could talk about too, but they're even more boring.

For my Vid of the Day, how about three random ones? )
rachg82: (Baltar/Six sky)
It's been a couple days since I updated, so I feel like I should, but I'm having one of those issues where I can't think of what to write & everything I CAN think of sounds boring. So I end up just sitting & staring at the computer screen all "BLAH" like a human question mark. "Entry! Why won't you write yourself? Be a team player!" I hate that.

Anyway, I'll just ramble for a minute & we can all pretend it's interesting.

-I had a really bad migraine the night before last, and as a result I've slept more than I've been awake the last two days. I still don't feel quite "over it" yet--my limbs feel heavy, my stomach is frakked, it's hard to read things, when I went to the store yesterday I had difficulty talking (words came out wrong/stilted), etc. Immediately afterward, I felt simultaneously exhausted & yet extremely relaxed/almost good (migraine euphoria, in other words), but then (and now) I just came back to feeling out of it & vaguely depressed yet not. I'm used to all of it, but it's strange, especially because I don't always experience the postdrome phase so severely. It really depends on how bad the migraine itself is, usually (in this case, it was pretty bad). It's good to know there's a reason for all of it though. I find it comforting when I can understand what's going on with my body. It's kind of interesting, almost. The brain is an odd thing.

-During the few hours I was awake yesterday, I watched a couple episodes of some ghost show on cable (I always end up watching the most random crap when sick, I swear). It was your usual fare of sillyness--every ghost in the world apparently wears white dresses circa the Victorian era--but I heard a quote from one of the women that I liked: "God's delay doesn't necessarily mean God's denial." She said her dead father appeared to her & said that, which--whatever, who knows--but I don't think it matters whether it's true or even whether you believe in God. It's still a nice concept.

-Speaking of things I've heard lately that I liked, here's a few more:

"You make your choices and you live with them, and in the end you are those choices."-BSG

"Sometimes we have to leave people behind so that we can go on--so that we can continue to fight."-BSG

"Success is not a goal. It's a byproduct."-Friday Night Lights

"A friend once said, and I found to be true, that everyday people--they lie to God too--so what makes you think that they won't lie to you?"-Lauryn Hill

The last one is a line from a song, and I've of course heard it before, but it had been a while. I've been talking with [livejournal.com profile] jasminelily about some of the things my mom said to me in those emails, and the likelihood that she was lying about what my nephew said, so that lyric resonated with me.

-Parks & Rec this week was freaking hilarious. "I'm gonna make out with him. On his face." HA. Also: everyone drunk. BEST EVER.

-Community doesn't know how to be anything but awesome, I don't think. ABED WAS HAN SOLO, Y'ALL. HE MADE OUT WITH ANNIE & THEN WAS JUST LIKE, "COOL", AND WALKED OFF. Hahaha.

-I continue to enjoy Friday Night Lights. If I had Netflix, I'd stream it from the beginning, but I prefer living in the 20th century so I don't. Okay, so that's a joke, but it's not far off from the truth. Heh. I do want to rent the first season though. I suspect I will over the summer. There's a few other shows I plan to check out, too, most likely. Probably Farscape, Castle, and maybe Dr. Who. Maybe. I've seen a couple episodes & really didn't get sucked in, but I know a lot of people who are into it, so I'm open.

-Lastly, I'm still slowly but surely working on my fic, though this one has been giving me a hard time. I talked about it with [livejournal.com profile] keenai the other day though, which I'll include here, 'cause that's how I roll )

For my Vid of the Day, I'm gonna get my convert-powerz on. It's come to my attention that some of you are still not watching Community. This simply won't do. Hence, I shall provide clips to help make it right. You're welcome.

rachg82: (Adama/Roslin arm in arm)
Such an evil subject heading, ha. Between it & the VotD I plan on posting? Gah. TEARS. I can hardly even look at my icon, heh. ADAMA & ROSLIN ARE TAKING OVER MY BRAIN AGAIN. Big-time.

Anyhoo. I feel like wasting some time; who's with me?

Meme that everyone & their grandma is doing )

…I can't believe how long that took.

Before I go, a few more things:

-My BSG rewatch is up to "Epiphanies." Tyrol is awesome; Boomer breaks my heart; Baltar is hilarious, & his connection to Head Six is fascinating (I could ramble forever about her. I might in my next entry); Tigh is awesomesauce (MARTIAL LAW, Y'ALL. THE SLOW-MO EXIT); Bear McCreary needs to bear my children; Starbuck is a bad-ass, and Helo is the best BFF evah; Leemo is cute; Adama is a carebear, & I want to effing squish him; Laura-"That's *Madam President*, Gaius"-Roslin is a motherfrakking HBIC, and her relationship with Adama makes me like this: ealihgoiahopihaoggh.

P.S. PEGASUS. I've already talked in-depth about why I love this arc so much.<--flaily review o' pensive worship.

-I have three songs/vid ideas to share:

For Adama/Roslin: Day Too Soon, Sia.

For Booth/Brennan: Sway (The Perishers) or Three Wishes (The Pierces).

I have more on the way, but I'll save them for later.

Lastly, here's the evil Vid of the Day I mentioned above (by Sczep84). Must. hold. back. weepy fangirl tears. I can't help it! Her story is so deeply touching & human. I love all of it.

rachg82: (XF fangirl)
Ahem. I just need to take up one moment of your time:











Of course there are other brackets I care about too, but these are the ones I'm currently super passionate about/watching closely. Brennan's way ahead & let's KEEP IT THAT WAY, thank you very much (I told y'all I get heated about FMM, haha. FU, DEXTER!). Everyone needs to know how awesomesauce Gus & Troy are (if you don't know, you bettah ask somebody), Lorelai is my mothereffing homegirl for life, & what can I say about one Agent Dana Katherine Scully? Other than perhaps this?

Reasons to Vote for Scull-ay (as if you needed any)

Shamelessly recycling last year's macros 'cause that's how we Montell Jordan 'round these parts )

I REST MY CASE.

Do the right thing.[/Spike Lee]

Rock the Vote, my friends. Rock it hard. (that's what she said)
rachg82: (mulder/scully umbrella)
1. I still want someone to make a BSG fanvid to this song. Any takers?

*edited to add: and I'd also still like someone to make a Bones fanvid to this song. 'DAT ASS.

2. I love my online friends. This is not new; however, sometimes this fact needs to be celebrated. Thanks goes to [livejournal.com profile] keenai for keeping me company via chat tonight with cracky funtimes. Anything that makes me laugh hard enough to literally clap my hands in joy deserves to be shared, so: behold, we are some funny bitches )

3. Speaking of keenai, she's convinced me to listen to Harry Potter audiobooks once I've returned my current book to the library. Whatever the results of this are, I will be blaming them on her. (no, I've never read them--only seen a few of the movies) We've decided (read: I've decided. Hee) it's okay for me to equate it to an aural kids' movie experience, since I don't do YA books & she thinks I'll enjoy the story. Just go with it.

4. This is random, but when am I not random? So. [livejournal.com profile] gina227 made a joke in one of her posts recently about the Bones writers & their cracky ways (affectionately & facetiously, much like I would), and I commented with this vid. I couldn't help but share it here too. Heh. Oh, HH! (for real though? That vid pretty much applies--figuratively, hee. I don't think they're actually crackheads--to all TV writers/exec producers, as far as I'm concerned. Haha. "How did I get up in this treeeee?"<--continuityFAIL)

5. Who's in the mood for a survey? I haven't done one of those in a long, long time. I got this one from [livejournal.com profile] xmaidelx, and it's actually meant to include some kind of image-y thing as well, but I'm being lazy right now so I'm just going to answer the questions. Feel free to swipe this & answer it in your own journals too, if you'd like. bla bla bla )

For my Vid of the Day, I feel like throwing Parks & Recreation a little love. This one's by buffyfan357:

August 2017

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