rachg82: (plot twist/everything is meta)
1. How did I manage to get so nocturnal again? It's eight thirty in the morning and I still haven't gone to bed. Clearly, I was meant to be born a bat. Or a vampire. But I couldn't be a vampire, because then [livejournal.com profile] keenai wouldn't like me anymore. Heh.

2. Did you guys know that The History Channel airs reality shows now? Seriously. That's just…no.

3. Welcome to [livejournal.com profile] crabbytreehouse, a.k.a. Deiva, i.e. the RL friend I mentioned the other day. She likes Bones (even survived watching the season 5 finale with me last year) and writes in capslock all the time, so I think she'll fit right in here. Hee.

4. I finished my comic. Who wants to see? )

5. For my Vid of the Day, here's a cartoon to go with the whole artistic theme above. This one's by lazyboy. It's completely absurd, which to me is the funniest part. I don't know about y'all, but I prefer buying my snacks from maniacally laughing mutant-sized fruit whenever possible.

rachg82: (tigh/ellen this calls for a drink)
Yep, you read that right--1,000 posts. THEM'S A WHOLE LOTTA WORDS, CHICAS.

(Psst: note the Rocky theme song as my current music selection. Heh. *runs heroically up flight of stairs*)

Obviously, I couldn't let this ~momentous event~ pass by without some kind of tribute. I mean, seriously, if you stretched my entries out one per year, you'd have a millennium of Rachified Rambling. WHAT THE.

Thankfully, I have my Year in Review posts & lots o' tags for lots o' subjects, so taking y'all on a journey down Memory Lane is as simple as pie. (Though, can I just say, pie? Is not simple. WTF, cooking cliches. It should be updated to "simple as ordering a pizza." THAT'S simple. Plus, pizza can also technically be called a pie. HA, relevant.)

Anyway. I thought about how to organize this, and I decided that I wanted it to be something celebratory & fun; the sort of thing I could look back at later for cheering up when needed (similar to my Year in Review posts, but focusing solely on positive things). So, I gathered together a mess of smile-inducing pictures & quotes & other random nonsense from the last 8.5 years and smooshed it all together into one cray cray sentimental entry. It's exactly the type of time-suck project I needed last night, and I hope the rest of you will enjoy it too.

P.S. This misty water-colored event is dedicated to all of you on my flist, most especially: [livejournal.com profile] dosidella, [livejournal.com profile] keenai, [livejournal.com profile] sonneta, [livejournal.com profile] nomnivore, [livejournal.com profile] jasminelily, [livejournal.com profile] auroura76, [livejournal.com profile] maryng, and all the rest of the original Meta/TWoP crowd. Y'all have been with me from the *start*, and I KNOW you're a huge part of why I'm still here. And I do mean that literally. I am so grateful for all of you.

Aiiight, but enough of all that, and let's get down to it.

Like the corners of my mind: 1,000 side effects of verbosity. Damn, this bitch can write )

I don't even want to know how long this will look, considering all the pictures. Heh. *covers eyes & hits "post"*

For my Vid of the Day, let's keep with the theme:

rachg82: (abed humbles me)
I've already polished off the first two discs of season 1. Considering I slept 14 hours last night, & all of my TV watching was done before going to bed? That says a lot. It has been such a pleasure catching up on all the episodes I missed last year. THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD, Y'ALL. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating at all here. It makes me crack up so hard that I have to wipe actual tears from my eyes, & I frequently have to press rewind because I was laughing too loud to hear the next thing they said. It's just hysterical and so, so clever. Especially if you enjoy the use of meta, pop cultural references, & smart, quirky humor like I do.

Also: cut for flailing )

Moving on, I thought I'd share some pics with you guys. I noticed another flistmate post stuff from her scrapbook, and it made me remember the one I created as a teenager. It includes some of my happiest memories, and it's kind of a time capsule unto itself. Those of you who've known me since the meta boards (i.e. since this journal first started in '02) will remember some of these pics, since I posted them on the old yahoo meta photo album, but for the rest of you these will be mostly new.

Also, consider this a reminder, [livejournal.com profile] huh920, that I'm still stalking you. Heh. I want everyone to post pics, damn't.

Scrapbook pics: Let's party like it's 1999 )

Before I go, I also came across a poem [livejournal.com profile] dosidella wrote & sent to me for my 21st birthday (a.k.a. in 2003), which was with my scrapbook but not pasted into it yet. For the sake of posterity, I thought I'd include it here as well. Best BFF ever, yo. excuse me while I get verklempt )

For my Vid of the Day, let's show some love to Troy. This one's by shoopdancer2504.

rachg82: (Cam Bones holding hands)
It is taking so much willpower not to read any of the sides for the end of this season. Want want waaaaaant. I know it'll be better if I stay away though, so that's what I'm doing. I still reserve the right to watch promo clips/read articles if I want, however. Those aren't as big a deal.

Meanwhile I'm sure no one even cares which spoilers I'm reading, but I'm going through one of those phases where my mind feels utterly stifled, & figuring out what to write & how to word it is like walking in cognitive slow-motion. The whole sit-and-stare action, y'know? I'm somehow both incredibly restless/uncomfortable (like, itchy, & my clothes/hair are bugging me, & ugh there's something in my eye, & my glasses are smudged right there, & sitting in this position is making my knee hurt, & my limbs are tired like dead weights, but I'm booooored and aimlessly nervous, but I don't want to do anything--not even move--and everything I write is wrong, and I feel blank, & UGH), yet numb & distant on the other hand, like I can't *wake up* & connect to what's around me. The default state got switched to silent & immobile, if that makes any sense (it's vague, I know). It's hard to explain.

I mean, like, for all of yesterday & today? I've wanted to update my lj, but every time I try--even now--I feel like deleting the entry, throwing my hands up in the air all "fuck it!", and then going back to bed to lie down & stare at the corner of my comforter for an hour. I'm sure some of it is my body adjusting to going off the topamax--I've been having similar side effects to what I experienced when first starting it, like paresthesia, etc--but it's also just how I get sometimes when depressed/stressed out/not eating enough. So, who knows.

Anyway, my point (at last) is I'm trying to just force myself to write. It doesn't have to be "right"--what does that even mean, anyway? God, I'm so mental--and it's okay if it's crappy. That being said, let me try to ramble at you all now for a minute:

1. I was looking for this fic the other day (I couldn't remember the author or title--only bits of the plot), and I told [livejournal.com profile] amilyn I'd rec it here once I found it, so voila: Delicate by ygrawn. Read it. It's good.

2. I did some hasty (i.e. nothing uber serious/meaningful, just freestyle whatever shit) artwork last night. It was done in an attempt to snap out of my ~vibrating frozen statue with oversensitive nerve endings from pent-up Anxiety Land~ mood, which obviously didn't totally work, but eh. At least it's expressing myself & being active, right? It's a good impulse to follow. I'll share the results now, just in case it's of interest to anyone. )

3. While I'm discussing music, I am currently in love with this remix. Also, I'd love it if someone were to make either a Faith/Buffy shipper vid (from Faith's POV, preferably) OR an "Emily Deschanel/Brennan is hot" vid to this song. That version, specifically.

4. The BSG rewatch continues. I'm up to "Valley of Darkness" & falling in love with the show all over again. Things I'm especially loving this time around )

5. Community this week was amazing. I mean, seriously, SO FANTASTIC. Enough to where I actually teared up at one point (happy tears), because I was so moved. This show is brilliant. I need to flail )

My Vid of the Day is from TheLovelyBones1 and is a short example of the type of Brennan vid I mentioned wanting above. There aren't nearly enough of these out there. *stares at teh sexy*

rachg82: (Brennan walking in the rain)
1. Song of the Day. It made me tear up. My mood is still closer to this (minus the last bit about pre-determined destiny, that is. I don't believe that. I relate to everything else though), particularly because I haven't left that staying-in-bed-for-most-of-the-day phase yet, but I have started feeling a shift. I'm incredibly stressed right now, to the point where all this unemployment stuff is making me feel nearly desperate (like, "Will I be able to keep living? What options do I have if I run out of money?"-desperate. I don't mean to scare people, but I need to be honest. A big issue is that certain jobs still feel off-limit to me, too, because of social anxiety. I feel trapped), but at least when those thoughts come up now they sound more bad than good. Still acceptable, but more bad than good. That's something, right? I may not exactly be gung-ho for life, but I don't like being forced into anything either, and for the first time in a long while I'm fighting the idea of death not just because I know I'm supposed to (and have told myself to in the past, i.e. the resolutions I've made with myself), but because I actually don't feel ready to die yet. So, yeah. That has to be worth something. I'm kind of in limbo.

That being said, things are very tenuous right now. Even if everything "works out" in a best-case scenario, it means getting a job. That stresses me out too. Deep breaths, in & out. It's all I can do. One step at a time. At least yesterday I both got the mail *and* opened it (yes, when you're like this--that's a task), and did the math to confirm that even with lesser benefits--if I do indeed qualify for the extended 20 weeks; they drop you to 80% of what you previously earned--I can still pay bills. It will be ridiculously tight, but that's fine. I have lived VERY cheaply before. I intentionally move into apartments with rent that's a good deal below what I can afford for this exact reason (plus it helps that, A. I don't have a car, B. I don't have a cell phone, C. I don't have anyone or anything depending on me, and D. I've never had any credit cards). You never know what situation you'll find yourself in. The only debt I have is from student loans & medical bills (and technically I'm a little behind on my electric bill, but not by much. Otherwise, there's simply rent + phone/internet/cable, & the miscellaneous stuff like medication & groceries & bus passes, etc). I also emailed my old friend/coworker to ask her for the address/name/phone number of the place where she works so I can go over & apply in person. I *really* don't want to work in a call center again--God, I hate it--but it would be close by, I have tons of experience in that area, and it would be better than sitting at home every day. Theoretically, it might make finding another job easier too, because then I could put on my resume that I'm currently employed, which looks better than "Hey, I've been unemployed for four months straight. Wanna hire me?" Know what I mean? I have to call the unemployment place before I do anything else though. I tried yesterday, but I called in the afternoon & the hold time was absurd. It's for the best anyway, because it allowed me to open the letter first, which they said you're supposed to do, though I don't see what difference it makes. But whatever. Today--8 am. I call. And panic. But call, regardless. Yay.[/monotone sarcasm]

2. My head has been hurting SO BAD the last week or so. I don't know how much of it is stress & how much is reducing the dose of the topamax (in fairness, I hate to admit it, but I've been even more terrible about eating, too. It's like my body suddenly feeling hungry made me even more determined to go without. I'm trying to deal with it. I did just finally have some Taco Bell, so, hey). I was going to make tonight my first night going off it completely, but the whole "staying in bed all day" deal screwed me up & consequently I missed getting the refill I needed for my antidepressent. Thus I missed it yesterday AND today. I don't want to throw my body for a crazy loop, so I'll wait on the topamax. And of course get my refill for the prozac tomorrow. Not really something I want to go without right now.

P.S. Sorry for all the body/brain talk, btw. For those of you who've never dealt with it, it's probably really boring, I know. It's what I'm dealing with right now, though. It helps me to break it down bit by bit sometimes.

3. On a positive note, the Cherry Blossom trees on my street are in bloom. Despite my allergies, that's my favorite part of spring. It'll depend on how I'm feeling, but I would like to take a walk soon (i.e. a ~Jaunty Woodland Walk~ along the nearby trails, like I used to--helpful link for pic-filled tree-hugging). I know I've been saying that forever, but the seasons changing does help up the motivation factor a little. We'll see.

4. I, like Cher in Clueless, love a good project--especially one that helps me feel more organized while also distracting me & wasting a bunch of time. As a result, I have a bunch of new tags now: Van Gogh-Go Gadget Cliched Artist (for pics of, you guessed it, my art), Voice Posts (I feel like they should have a tag. They're unique like that. P.S. Some of you don't know me well yet, so if there's questions you'd like to ask--ones I can answer in five minutes or less--feel free to drop them in the comments & I can do another voice post if you want. Woot woot. This counts for you lurkers too. I SEE YOU THERE. Heh. I won't bite!), Emotions Are Better on Paper (as an explanation for new flistmates: last summer, in an effort to better express certain feelings that otherwise were hard for me to access unfiltered, I began writing on paper--stream of consciousness/just-let it out-shit, in other words--and would sometimes later share it here. In many ways, I actually believe it's what helped lead me to finally writing fic. FYI, that tag also includes old poetry from ye olde teenaged days of yore, which I typed up. Be afraid), and, lastly, I Am a Special Snowflake (ASD-ish stuff. a.k.a. "I relate to Brennan: ASK ME HOW!").

Fun, fun.

Also: I'm even going to add to one of the above-mentioned tags…right now. *gasp* I KNOW. IT'S SO EXCITING. Heh. I uploaded some more of my old art. Feel free to come & take a looksie )

5. I'm so behind on my flist, and have enough piling up in my head as it is, so I'm just going to do a disorganized rundown of what I thought regarding Bones now, sans notes/rewatch. Bones ramblin' )

My Vid of the Day comes from TheLovelyBones1 and is a wonderfully edited take on B/B between episodes 6x09 & 6x13. Intense & delicious. This is where they're comin' from, folks. Remembering that makes the (still coming--it's just beginning & things are always repressed under the surface with them; don't forget that) happytimes that much more powerful. I'd go so far as to say they're *still* holding back a little. This vid shows a little of the KAPOW-quality I think we'll continue to see slowly rise (not all at once, but in bits) on their way towards them being a real couple. They're like pressure cookers, these two. I swear.

rachg82: (Brennan special snowflake)
1. I'm hungry. Frankly, it's irritating me. Heh. [livejournal.com profile] juliedarling, you were right. I'm still on one Topamax per day, but omg STOMACH RUMBLINGS. WTF is THIS all about. Look, body, it's 3:30 in the morning (as I start this entry), you've already woken me up with a headache (which is at least now at bay, thanks to Excedrin), we both know there's no edible food in this apartment, so what do you expect me to do? Alchemy? THAT'S FOR METALS, STOMACH. Also, it doesn't exist. Make some sense, ye. *medieval rimshot* (Ahh, who doesn't love an oh-so-timely alchemy pun? No wonder I'm single.)

Okay, so I can acknowledge how unfair it is of me to expect my stomach to just ~not be hungry~ when all I had yesterday was a burrito & chips, but it still bugs me. Irrationally. Like, if I choose to eat, fine. But my body telling me to? Annoying. There should be a message system allowing you to tell it in no uncertain terms, "YOU'RE NOT GETTING FOOD UNTIL SUCH & SUCH TIME. STFU UNTIL THEN; I HAVE THINGS TO DO." Like a little keyboard that pops out of your stomach & then slides back in. Then your stomach can receive the message & be all, "Bitch is you crazy?" And you can be like, "Maybe I am, stomach, and MAYBE I AM."[/SNL Dog Show reference. Heh. Except that particular skit has a different variation of their usual "maybe I am" bit, but whatev. Close enough.]

(I do at least have peanut butter, though. That is seriously the depths of patheticness I've reached. To avoid passing out, I must dig peanut butter out of a jar with a plastic knife. OH YES, did I forget to mention? My actual knives are dirty. I do, however, have plastic knives. I AM SO LAZY, I WENT FOR THE PLASTIC ONE. Not only that, but I *bought* them so I wouldn't have to do dishes the other night. She shoots, she scores.)

At some point this weekend, I'm going to have to clean out my fridge (thar be monsters & expired milk) & go to the store. I also need to call my old friend/coworker to ask for directions to the call center where she works so I can apply there. Then I need to call the unemployment place about getting an extension (assuming I don't "luck out"--woo, meh--and get a job right off the bat where my friend works. You never know). In the midst of all this, I can practice *not* panicking & envisioning myself homeless or dead in the upcoming weeks (whatifIdon'tgetthebenefitswhatifIcan'tpaymybillswhatifwhatifwhatif, etc). I'm really not comfortable with the whole loss of control thing--it cannot be stressed enough. Deep breaths. I'm trying to joke through it, but I honestly am very anxious.

2. I've been too busy doing absolutely nothing to write my Bones review yet. Well, there was some sleep in there too, and going through my room trying to find things. That was uber exciting (not really). I'll try to have it up this weekend, though. For now I'll just say that I loved it. I don't know anyone who didn't, heh. Like, hello, obvious statements are obvious. (as a sneak-peek/random aside, however: this was my reaction to Booth in the diner scene. Hahaha. Don't worry, though, he more than made up for the transgression throughout the rest of the ep!)

3. I need to get back to writing my fic. Hopefully the new hiatus (oy, with the hiatuses already) gives me the motivation. I haven't felt very motivated for *anything* lately. I think stress is blocking me. I get this way when I'm really worried about something that's unresolved. I feel like I can't do anything until it's over. It just like OWNS me. But at the same time, the idea of calling my friend/the unemployment agency/etc is also overwhelming. So I'm stuck in this AGHHHHH-state of "omg just knock me unconscious." Hence why nothing is accomplished. Not dishes, not laundry, not anything. I'm just fucking frozen. There is *too much to do* & I don't know what to do first & I can't THINK & aeaiohgoihgh. Too many things *hanging*, metaphorically. Like quicksand, surrounding me. It's so, so hard. I know the ways to deal with it--take everything bit by bit--but that doesn't make it not hard. It's like there's too much information in there ("in there" being my stupid brain), and sometimes I just need a reset button--something to wipe it clean. An aide to walk me through things step by tiny, meticulous, super-thorough step. Ugh. It's exhausting. Like, "Okay, Rachael. We're gonna make dinner now. I know we need to do the dishes first. I KNOW. First this section. Okay, now this section. Breathe, breathe. All right, so you'll have to wash that pan by hand or wait to cook until the dishes are done. I'll help you make that decision, too. Yes, I understand you were already breathing--that's not what I meant. Diaphragmatic breathing, Rachael. What? The pan has mold? Now you want to throw it out? Oh, Jesus. Okay, let's logically weigh the pros & cons of making something that doesn't require a pan, including its most likely lower nutritional value based on the limited options of what you're willing to eat vs. going to the store to buy a new pan & how much estimated time that will take--including the walk there + the shopping--added to the time it takes to cook, added to how hungry you are, added to how much money it will cost. No, skipping dinner entirely in a meltdown-esque fit of obstinate pouting is not an option." WELCOME TO MY LIFE, FOLKS. Let's not even get into what it's like to cook with me. Everything is a freaking ~operation~. "At exactly what intervals of time do I flip the burger? I NEED EXACT INTERVALS."

4. I enjoy peanut butter. Just felt like sharing that with you all. Also, it's now 5 am. I am very wordy. Ha.

In other news: I found my old private journal from August of 2001 through May of 2002, today. A long time ago, I'd typed up the entries on here & backdated them, but later I deleted the whole thing + I eventually misplaced the journal in RL as well. All I had left were a few excerpts from my 2002 Year in Review post, which in a way is like reading the ending to a story without the beginning. I actually sat down this afternoon & read through all of it. I'd like to have something ~thoughtful~ & indepth to say about it, but right now I don't yet. I might later, maybe even type some of it up again, I don't know. You know how sometimes something hits you in a way where you can't say much of anything about it? It's just too deep? I guess I just forgot how much I went through. It's actually making me cry right now, which I didn't expect. Looks like I do have a few thoughts )

5. Aaand it's now 6 am. JEEZ, I TAKE FOREVER WITH THESE THINGS--probably because I keep getting detoured by YouTube and what-not. Anyway. I do have one more thing before I go (and before the VotD, of course). While I was looking through my room yesterday--and found the aforementioned journal--I also found a few other old things. Sometimes being a packrat comes in handy, yo. Did you know I have a (until now totally forgotten) dolphin ring like Brennan? HA. SERIOUSLY. Pictures for proof. Also: bunch o' sentimental funtimez (bet you wish you had a My Little Pony wallet, don't you?) )

For my VotD, I have an INCREDIBLY good Kara vid by MadnessoftheDivine to share. It's like a work of art, gah. I can't even. THIS FUCKING SHOW, Y'ALL. If you aren't already onboard, watch this vid. That's all I have to say.

rachg82: (serenity booth)
1. I've got such a bad migraine right now that the only way to tolerate it is to pull a "pain is only a sensation. I don't mind it. My head is separate from me. It's my body feeling the pain, not me"-detacharoo mindfuck and even that is only slightly working. Otherwise I'm just trying to distract myself, because I'm plain tired of lying down now (you can only do it for so long. Seriously, by 2:30 or 3 in the afternoon, it's like "I HAVE A LIFE, CRANIUM"). So, lights are off, I'm pretending the glare from the computer monitor doesn't bug me, Cheerios are to my right, and we're gonna write an entry. How 'about that, migraine? Why don't you put that in your pipe & smoke it? *throws gang sign*

(I like how my own head is my arch nemesis. Totally healthy)

2. Probably didn't help that I stayed up until 4:30 in the morning last night though, huh? But, like, I had REASONS. Curing cancer & what-not. Knitting mittens for visually-impaired Romanian orphans. Saving puppies. (I'm like a hero of my time) Okay, not really. More like drawing a comic. Which I will now share with you all as it's a good sign of ennui lifting in my opinion. )

3. Speaking of new shows, I have now officially added Lie To Me to my DVR. )

4. As I said to [livejournal.com profile] jasminelily already, I thought Parenthood last night was, and I quote, "full of rainbows & fluffy-tailed bunny rabbits, as per usual." In other words: A+. God damn, I love me some of that show. It's like a giant bowl of happyface. "You're black!" Haha. Maaaaaaax.

5. Southland, meanwhile, was fantabuloso. And yes, that's a word, because I say so. "Guess what? You're arrested for murder, asshole!" Hey, Regina King, I'd like to present you with this award for HBIC of the evening. You can put it with all the others.

6. As if all that weren't enough, did you guys know Jersey Shore has a new season starting this week? I just about lost my shit. Haha. (NOT A WORD. We don't need no hateration in this dancery, yo! I love my trainwreck documentary, hee) P.S. I hear there's a grenade whistle this season. *laughs & laughs*

7. To make up for my guilty pleasure downfall above, I would also like to remind you all of another TV show I adore )

8. Modern Family tonight! I love TVVVVVV. Hey, when does Parks & Rec come back?

9. I've written down a mess of songs to include in my 1994 soundtrack & will probably post it either tonight (if my migraine gets better) or tomorrow. I have a problem, I know. Hopefully you guys enjoy it though. Heh. You all should've seen me when I came across a Portishead song I hadn't heard since I was twelve. Hot damn. If I'd had popcorn on my lap, it would've been comically tossed up in the air. (for those who don't want to wait to find out, it was Sour Times. Nghhh, I was crazy about that song. And totes in love with her, won't even lie. Still am. I ended up listening to Portishead all night afterward)

10. Vid of the Day. As a preview to my soundtrack, let's get Bjorky up in here. This song won't be on the soundtrack, but best believe my girl here will be. "Debut" was the third CD I ever owned ("Music Box" by Mariah Carey was the first, given to me for Christmas when I was eleven in 1993; and Gloria Estefan's Greatest Hits was the second, given to me for my 12th birthday in 1994. "Debut" was bought later that same year, and it was the first album I ever bought for myself, actually) and I used to just sit on my bunkbed listening to it, over & over. Back then, all I needed were seven things to be okay: my TV, my video games, my discman, my art, my violin, my keyboard, & my books (all of which were in my room). That's it. Sometimes my best friend & my bike, so I could literally physically escape. But otherwise that was it. And every night, this was the song I listened to as I fell asleep. Take it away, Bjork. BFFs 4 Life, y'all:

rachg82: (Roslin jail bars)
1. Choosing my icon today, it made me think of the BSG Kobol arc, and I seriously just couldn't help but laugh. Oh, Roslin. You're just so frakking bad-ass. "Oh, what's that? You won't return to Caprica? No problem. I'll just turn your surrogate daughter against you & have her go. Suck on that, homes. Wait, what's this now? You think you're gonna throw me in the brig & start a coup? HA. I wish you would! P.S. Send in your son when you leave, 'kay?"

Moral of the story, boys & girls? Don't make Mommy & Daddy mad. Haha. PEOPLE DIE.

2. Why must we wait until January 20th for new Bones? Not cool. You know what else isn't cool? The non-stop migraine I've had for almost a week now. Which, considering my head hurts every day anyway, isn't that strange. But this one is extra joyful & it WON'T GO AWAY FOR EVEN A MINUTE. Someone, please, stab me in my left eye with a fork. It would feel better, I assure you.

God, I hate hormones. (yes, I just wrapped up that time of the month. There's a reason for the exacerbated funtimes.<--and I do apologize for the bitching, btw. I have a very high pain tolerance, but sometimes I still need to whine. I am human after all. It fucking hurts, UGH. I feel pukey.)

3. Remember the Year in Review picture collage I mentioned? Well, I did it. I even finally got around to downloading GIMP & everything (I haven't had any photo editing software since the virus. I've just been using photobucket for icons if you can believe it<---and a mother cries in the ghettooooo[/sings] Ha). Unfortunately, I still had to use photobucket when it came to uploading the file, and the collage ended up too big for their size limits. So I had to cut it into three sections first, which annoyed me to no end (I didn't plan it that way & now it looks funny! Grr, argh.) Oh well. I'll share it anyway. It's still pretty! Also, it was uber fun to put together, as I included not only photos but also icons & random macros/etc from picspams & what-not. I totally recommend doing the same if you guys have time.

2010: Year in Pictures )

4. I did more job-hunting last night and this is all I have to say: *ties imaginary noose around head* YEAH. Seriously. As if it's not enough fun forcing oneself to apply for jobs you KNOW you'll hate, but then to also be forced to fill out tedious/headdesk-inducing applications despite having already provided your resume on top of that? Whyyyyyyy.

Afterward, I admit I was left feeling vaguely pointlessly stressed & I still haven't totally kicked the feeling. You know that sort of aimless anxiety/sadness that comes around & just *hangs*? And it's like, look, depression, I'm doing my best here. Can you just eff off? There's no 'i' in team! It gets worse for me too, because I stress when I don't know WHY I'm stressed (like an ouroboros of neuroses), all "Must fix! What do I doooooo", and I'll just sit there & try to figure out my whole life in five minutes like that's somehow gonna happen. Which of course it never does. Oh, Rachael.

5. [livejournal.com profile] keenai recommended a song to me yesterday, saying it made her think of me, and it made me feel all fuzzy & loved inside so I figured I'd share. Aww, Mary J. Blige, I wuv you )

My Vid of the Day comes from ChemAttraction and is all about Kara & Leoben. Automatically, you know that means it's going to be some intense & dark shiznit. Neckstabby goodtimes FTW! Aw yeah.

rachg82: (fanfic turns me on)
1. I enjoy the fact that I'm drinking Diet Coke as I write this. (see: subject heading.) Oh, irony. You're not just a fly in my Chardonnay after all.

I also enjoy utilizing quotes so random they necessitate a trail of breadcrumbs dropped in my mind for others to understand their meaning. Is that weird?

2. Remember the cab driver who friended me on Facebook? He told me I was pretty the other day. Ruh-roh! WHY CAN'T PEOPLE I LIKE FIND ME ATTRACTIVE?

I totally just ignored him, btw. Haha. Err. And then continued talking about the myth of Narcissus with my friend. Y'know, as one does.[/awkward]

3. I ate twice the other day--can I get an "and what"? Thank you. *brushes dirt off her shoulders* Of course I didn't manage it yesterday or today, but hey, points for effort. Figures now my stomach is reacting to the shitfest stress-o-rama that is my life by bringing on the ole' cha-cha-cha (i.e. time to reach for the immodium). SUPER helpful when it comes to encouraging me to eat, lemme tell you. WHATEVER, UNIVERSE. Or, really, whatever, "brain", I should say. That's the true d-bag in this case, when you get right down to it.

4. Just over 5,100 words written in my fic, ladies and. . .well, ladies. (Dang, remember when livejournal had gents?) I've only got about two more sections to go, and I plan to burn the midnight oil if I have to--this puppy WILL be done before tomorrow night's episode. There'll be no preview clips watched or fanfics read otherwise until then, as I don't want anything influencing/interfering with my already preexisting ideas & interpretations. Like, "NO, I know what I'm writing & THAT'S IT." Haha. Sure, sure, I could keep writing after tomorrow. I know. BUT NO. I DON'T WANNA. Viva le resistance![/crazy person]

In other words: once I plan something, I'm not easily deterred. Especially since it's so ~perfect~, you know? With it being a winter finale? And me being done with my fanfic at the same time? SO CLEAN & COMPLETE. My borderline OCD tendencies will be all abuzz. Ha.

5. I'm feeling random today, so I figured I'd deliver some random-style entertainment to y'all. I waste a lot of time on facebook, having incredibly absurd conversations, and I frequently wish I could save some of them like IM messages. Finally, after a particularly ridic interaction I had earlier this week, I decided to simply take some screencaps for posterity (last names blacked out, Big Brother-style, though I'm not sure if it really matters as I'm leaving one uncensored that's a fake name. But whatever. Real last names are different seeming to me).

Also, I came across some old artwork of mine from my teenage days, and threw that in too. Good times!

Enjoy the funsies )

Aiiight, now, back to my fic so I can hammer this baby out. THE DAY IS MINE, TREBEK. (um, sorry, I've been watching a lot of YouTube & Hulu clips this week. . .and, yeah. I'm gonna go away now.)

My Vid of the Day is inspired by the Facebook conversation shared above. Blame [livejournal.com profile] 5brokenfingers for my association with this guy, as he's her boyfriend (with whom she is by the way a super cute match, hee. They ride through fields of daisies in rickshaws together--it's a thing). Seriously, when I mention that Portland is a city of weirdos? I'm not kidding. We are all complete & utter freaks.

Case in point:

rachg82: (Bones therapy)
Soo, this entry's gonna be a little long. But not really. I mean, it'll look long, but only because it's going to be full of approximately one billion pictures and also some writing, but text-wise it won't *actually* be that long in Rachael-terms. Make sense?

First up, Bones. Or, as I prefer to think of it: omgBooooooooones (prepare for capslock) )

Number two on the agenda: aforementioned one billion pictures. Last month I went to the beach & then camping, and much camera clicking ensued. Now you all get to reap the benefits pay the price. I also did some artwork since then, which I'll include as a bonus, but which will go under a separate section due to some triggery subject matter. I'd like to spend some time catching up on the details of everything that's happened over the last month and a half too, but am too tired and don't want that much length/rambling in one entry. Especially since some of it is uber heavy, and I really need to be in the right frame of mind to go there. Right now I'm in full-on compartmentalizing mode, what with the attempt at fangirling and all (and yes, for those curious, I do sometimes use fangirling as a way to escape, and am not above exaggerating my flail/sillyness for humor's sake. It's fun & I need it. Especially right now), and it's too jarring to flick on the emotions-switch from Detached Land. If that makes any sense. I just feel like I need a separate entry for that.

In the meantime though, I've got lots and lots of purty pictures for you all )

And now for the bonus round: Artsy-type art )

For my Vid of the Day, I'll continue my sharing music-I'm-obsessed-with theme. I'm sure a lot of you have heard bits of this cover in the trailers for "Social Network" already, but I'm addicted to choirs at the moment, and have loved the original version of this song forever & a day (teenager of the '90s, yo. Represent), so the instant I heard it I was like BAM, WHERE'S YOUTUBE. On that shit.

April 2017

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