I think I kind of do need that, honestly. It feels a little hollow though. There's a part of me that goes, "but why? But what if you are? Look how badly you're failing. How much you've already failed. You can't even do this right. People are just being nice because you haven't, like, committed genocide. That *does* make you objectively 'not bad'. But you still suck for many reasons."

Is this one of those situations where I have to start writing down all my theoretical positive traits every day like Stuart Smalley until they seem real? Like forcing a behavior until the motivation follows?