I just don't think healing should be about getting to a point where being abused & mistreated doesn't "bother" you anymore, like if you react to it it's somehow your fault. I don't think that's the result of healing. I don't think it's a healthy goal. It'd be figuratively akin to telling the spouse of a wife-beater, "Hopefully it eventually won't upset you anymore. That way you can stay with him for the kids. In the meantime, go ahead & leave him since you can't deal with it yet. If you could deal with it & didn't stay though, I'd say divorcing him due to the punching & kicking would be selfish."

Do you know what I mean? It reminds me too much of how my grandma used to say, "Hopefully someday you'll be mature enough to not let your mother affect you." The wording & implication hurts me, even though I *know* that's not your intention. I know that.

I'm REALLY sensitive at the moment though. So, don't worry about it, seriously. I think it'd probably be easier for me right now to not try to make sense of the whole thing any more for a little bit. I need a break from rationalizing. The feelings are too raw.