![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
So. I suppose writing earlier helped calm me a bit.
But, I don't know, I'm in a weird mood, yo. Very period-ish. Like, because I'm me, I want to put on a happy face, and see if it becomes real. And part of me right now feels okay, actually. So maybe if I focus on that part, it'll expand and the funk will disappear. On the other hand, I'm feeling rather pissy, envious (just, like, in general), alone and misunderstood, and I don't know. A big, fat loser with a capital L? Something like that. Kind of like, I can't decide who I hate more, me, or the world. And isn't that oh, so angsty? Especially since two seconds from now, I won't feel that way. I'll be back to cracking jokes, and conveniently ignoring my looming black hole of a future that's begging to be addressed. Even saying it, I don't really mean it. As much as I get frustrated with people and the world, I still love the world, and love people. But I'm in a bitter ass mood, so I feel all irrationally bitchy. And very fuzzy brained, when it comes to transferring my thoughts and feelings into words.
Have I mentioned lately how much I hate my fucking hormones? Really. I can't decide, should I indulge the crazy moodiness, and see if I can accomplish anything by dueling with it? Or ignore it until it goes away in three or four days or so? Assuming of course that it will. I know from experience though that it will, at least a bit. Stupid double x chromosome. Stupid Eve and her stupid apple. I don't even believe in that story. More reason to hate it, really. Heh. Okay, see? Starting to become amused at just how pissy I'm feeling. Like, after a while, it becomes entertaining almost, as if you're a member of some audience, observing your own nutty self. You know, I wouldn't mind Aunt Flo so much if she brought popcorn and candy with her.
Okay, trying to feel better. Not really sure what's bothering me to begin with. I mean, I know that Mom upset me earlier, but I also know that's not the whole picture. Or even close. I suppose it's just the usual stuff I try and ignore + Mom + accumulated stress + life + hormones. Or something. If I was asked, I could list plenty of things that do bother me right now, but like, what's new? Same shit as last week, but I wasn't being all "boo hoo for me" last week. Must be like I said in that handy equation. Normal crap with the added factor of periodness and crazy Motherness. And entirely too much introspection. Thinking about my life and all in comparison to others? Really not so much of a good idea. Like, ever.
Anyhoo, I FINALLY figured out how to see people's own LJ pages (rather than just viewing their recent entries on my friends page), so I've been catching up on old stuff.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fox1013, you may now consider yourself all special, because I've been reading yours all night. Heh. Not done yet, and you'd be amazed how long my attention span really can last for any one task (I swear, sometimes I can be like the opposite of ADD. Although it's not like your LJ is tedious to read, but all in one go at three in the morning? Heh. Right.), but my brain is all "That's enough LJ readage for now, thanks. Fanfic, please?" So, tomorrow. Yes indeedy. I had something I wanted to quote or something, but I didn't copy it, dang it. Oh well. Something about the "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" saying, and how you aren't even the bridesmaid. You're the sub-bridesmaid. I hear that, man. Yes, that's random, but I felt like sharing. Reading old school LJ entries sucks, because when you want to comment, you feel like a nerd. Heh. All "Right, this entry was a year ago, I'll just shut up now." Especially when it's over something all random, like "People saying om in meditation isn't stupid, dude! Om means God, basically." Meanwhile the person (fox, in this case) is all "Jigga wha?"
Oh, and I saw this little survey thing, and Lord knows I'm a survey child, so I stole it.
Tada!
4 Bad Habits You Have
-Um, *eyes time*, staying up till unGodly hours of the night?
-Procrastinating
-Being late all the time
-Picking at the skin on my hands and feet. Yeah, I know.
4 Scents You Love
Girl, please. This 4 stuff? I'm so cheating.
-Cleaning stuff for the kitchen and bathroom. What? They're pine fresh!
-How it smells after it rains. I mean that too! Not just as some poetic statement. Remember, born and raised in Portland, yo. I know from rain.
-yummy smelling incense. Brings back memories, man.
-food!
-hair salons.
-Flowers. Not single ones alone. I'm talking that smell when you're surrounded by them. We used to have huge, pink roses lining the front yard at our last house. It always smelled great, when you walked by.
-Forests. The smells of camping. Except not so much when you're done, and can't get the smell of campfire smoke out of your hair and clothes.
-The beach/the ocean.
-The old school perfumes my Mom and Grandma love, like Chanel #5 and stuff. Makes me think of them, in positive ways.
-Clothes, fresh from the dryer, smelling all fabric softenery and warm and clean.
-The Garden Botanika store. Oh, how I miss thee. Smelly shops in general, too. Mmm.
-In fact, all bath stuff, perfumes, and um, yeah. I could go on for a while with this, so let's move along.
4 Things You'd Never Wear
-Stonewashed, tapered jeans
-One of those sweatshirts/dresses with the teddy bears and/or animals and crap all over them. *shudder*
-Athletic shoes with a skirt or suit.
-Anything from the Big and Tall department.
4 Animals You Like
-puss 'n bootsis! (kitties)
-doger dogs! (dogs, heh. Because I! Like! A-dooooo-ooogs! Hee. DOGSHOW!)
-tigers
-Giant Pandas
-Chimps
If I let myself continue with this one, I really won't ever stop.
4 (ha!) TV Shows You Love
-X Files. Duh.
-South Park.
-Will And Grace.
-Saturday Night Live.
-Anything related to stand up, on Comedy Central.
-Conan O'Brien.
-Everybody Loves Raymond.
-The Daily Show.
-All things documentary-ish. Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, World Link TV! Don't be shy!
I could go on, but it says things I love, not just like. And I'm lazy.
4 Celebrities You Don't Like
-This is a neverending answer, right here. I mean, just celebs in general? Not even limiting it to actors? Or perhaps musicians? Actually, I can't really think of any actors who actually bug me very much, but I could go on forever when it comes to musicians.
Drinks You Regularly Drink
-Diet Pepsi/Diet Coke
-Water. Exciting!
-Dole Pineapple Orange Whatever Mix Juice
Yeah, that's pretty much it. Sometimes, I'll have a sprite or something, but it's really rare.
4 Ice Cream Flavors You Love
-Cookies 'n Cream
-Peanut Butter Chocolate (Tillamook)
-Dulce De Leches (Haggen Dazs)
-Chocolate Chip Mint
-French Vanilla
-Strawberry Cheesecake
4 Random Facts About Yourself (again with the non 4 total cheating)
-I didn't say more than a few select words until I was about three years old (I couldn't hear very well. My ear drums were perforated or something, before I had surgery at like two)
-I also walked late, and got potty trained late.
-I didn't learn to swim until I was nine years old, and only then, because my Nanny and Aunt Julie forced me to learn (it was no cartoons and no pop until I learned. I wasn't happy about that one! Heh)
-I didn't learn how to blow bubble gum, till my sophomore year in High School
-I taught myself how to ride a two wheeler, when I was like seven or eight (I was waiting outside for my Mom and sister to finish getting ready. They were going to take me to the park and teach me. Heh, too late!)
-I've had my cat since I was three years old.
-I took speech therapy for six years. If you asked me my name as a kid, I'd say "Wachael Mawie."
-I got put in the corner, the first day of Kindergarten.
-I'm a really picky eater.
-I played the violin for something like eight years, though it wasn't always consistent.
-I've never had a cavity
-I've only broken one bone. My left pinky toe. I tripped over a binder in the dark, one night. Smooth.
-Wild mushrooms creep me out. No, really.
-I'm the biggest chicken on the face of the planet. Did I say the face of the planet? Because I meant THE FACE OF THE PLANET.
-I have no piercings. I had my ears pierced at eleven, but let them close up.
'Kay, that's enough of that. . .
4 Random Facts About Your Family
-My Great Great Grandpa's name was Knut. Hee. Hey, it said random, didn't it?
-My Grandma on my Dad's side grew up in orphanages, mostly. Her parents (one from Ireland, the other from France) were apparently struggling musicians, and didn't have the money to raise her.
-My Grandpa has a street named after him, in Tanasbourne (he helped plan the city, when it was being built). Oh, and he was a fuckin' genius.
-My Grandma's family started Friar Tuck's restaurant, around here. They sold it, but the recipe's the same. So if any of you ever eat there, remember that! MmmFriarTuck's. . .
-My family is related to Judy Garland. Damn straight!
-We're all a bunch of oompa loompas. My sister, at the amazonian height of around 5'4, is tall in my family.
4 Websites You Recommend
Oooh, that's tough.
-Well, duh, meta.
-XF Fic 101. Behold, my favorite XF fanfic site, when I need to find a certain author, or type of archive.
-Lost and Found Boards. That place is great. When you're looking for a random fic, the people there are all about helping you find it. And they have a long list of fics by theme, there in the FAQ (which is what I linked to).
-The Haven. I go to this site a lot, as well. Not lately, quite so much, but fanfic has slowed down, so what can you do?
And, yeah, I could go on with the XF linkage, but lots of the other links I would give you, you could probably find a link for on the ones I already gave. Heh. So, right.
-The Spark and Emode. Couple old favorite quiz sites.
And? DONE. Bed now. Or soon. Should, but don't wanna. Even though I'm tired. I'm a strange individual.
But, I don't know, I'm in a weird mood, yo. Very period-ish. Like, because I'm me, I want to put on a happy face, and see if it becomes real. And part of me right now feels okay, actually. So maybe if I focus on that part, it'll expand and the funk will disappear. On the other hand, I'm feeling rather pissy, envious (just, like, in general), alone and misunderstood, and I don't know. A big, fat loser with a capital L? Something like that. Kind of like, I can't decide who I hate more, me, or the world. And isn't that oh, so angsty? Especially since two seconds from now, I won't feel that way. I'll be back to cracking jokes, and conveniently ignoring my looming black hole of a future that's begging to be addressed. Even saying it, I don't really mean it. As much as I get frustrated with people and the world, I still love the world, and love people. But I'm in a bitter ass mood, so I feel all irrationally bitchy. And very fuzzy brained, when it comes to transferring my thoughts and feelings into words.
Have I mentioned lately how much I hate my fucking hormones? Really. I can't decide, should I indulge the crazy moodiness, and see if I can accomplish anything by dueling with it? Or ignore it until it goes away in three or four days or so? Assuming of course that it will. I know from experience though that it will, at least a bit. Stupid double x chromosome. Stupid Eve and her stupid apple. I don't even believe in that story. More reason to hate it, really. Heh. Okay, see? Starting to become amused at just how pissy I'm feeling. Like, after a while, it becomes entertaining almost, as if you're a member of some audience, observing your own nutty self. You know, I wouldn't mind Aunt Flo so much if she brought popcorn and candy with her.
Okay, trying to feel better. Not really sure what's bothering me to begin with. I mean, I know that Mom upset me earlier, but I also know that's not the whole picture. Or even close. I suppose it's just the usual stuff I try and ignore + Mom + accumulated stress + life + hormones. Or something. If I was asked, I could list plenty of things that do bother me right now, but like, what's new? Same shit as last week, but I wasn't being all "boo hoo for me" last week. Must be like I said in that handy equation. Normal crap with the added factor of periodness and crazy Motherness. And entirely too much introspection. Thinking about my life and all in comparison to others? Really not so much of a good idea. Like, ever.
Anyhoo, I FINALLY figured out how to see people's own LJ pages (rather than just viewing their recent entries on my friends page), so I've been catching up on old stuff.
fox1013, you may now consider yourself all special, because I've been reading yours all night. Heh. Not done yet, and you'd be amazed how long my attention span really can last for any one task (I swear, sometimes I can be like the opposite of ADD. Although it's not like your LJ is tedious to read, but all in one go at three in the morning? Heh. Right.), but my brain is all "That's enough LJ readage for now, thanks. Fanfic, please?" So, tomorrow. Yes indeedy. I had something I wanted to quote or something, but I didn't copy it, dang it. Oh well. Something about the "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" saying, and how you aren't even the bridesmaid. You're the sub-bridesmaid. I hear that, man. Yes, that's random, but I felt like sharing. Reading old school LJ entries sucks, because when you want to comment, you feel like a nerd. Heh. All "Right, this entry was a year ago, I'll just shut up now." Especially when it's over something all random, like "People saying om in meditation isn't stupid, dude! Om means God, basically." Meanwhile the person (fox, in this case) is all "Jigga wha?" Oh, and I saw this little survey thing, and Lord knows I'm a survey child, so I stole it.
Tada!
4 Bad Habits You Have
-Um, *eyes time*, staying up till unGodly hours of the night?
-Procrastinating
-Being late all the time
-Picking at the skin on my hands and feet. Yeah, I know.
4 Scents You Love
Girl, please. This 4 stuff? I'm so cheating.
-Cleaning stuff for the kitchen and bathroom. What? They're pine fresh!
-How it smells after it rains. I mean that too! Not just as some poetic statement. Remember, born and raised in Portland, yo. I know from rain.
-yummy smelling incense. Brings back memories, man.
-food!
-hair salons.
-Flowers. Not single ones alone. I'm talking that smell when you're surrounded by them. We used to have huge, pink roses lining the front yard at our last house. It always smelled great, when you walked by.
-Forests. The smells of camping. Except not so much when you're done, and can't get the smell of campfire smoke out of your hair and clothes.
-The beach/the ocean.
-The old school perfumes my Mom and Grandma love, like Chanel #5 and stuff. Makes me think of them, in positive ways.
-Clothes, fresh from the dryer, smelling all fabric softenery and warm and clean.
-The Garden Botanika store. Oh, how I miss thee. Smelly shops in general, too. Mmm.
-In fact, all bath stuff, perfumes, and um, yeah. I could go on for a while with this, so let's move along.
4 Things You'd Never Wear
-Stonewashed, tapered jeans
-One of those sweatshirts/dresses with the teddy bears and/or animals and crap all over them. *shudder*
-Athletic shoes with a skirt or suit.
-Anything from the Big and Tall department.
4 Animals You Like
-puss 'n bootsis! (kitties)
-doger dogs! (dogs, heh. Because I! Like! A-dooooo-ooogs! Hee. DOGSHOW!)
-tigers
-Giant Pandas
-Chimps
If I let myself continue with this one, I really won't ever stop.
4 (ha!) TV Shows You Love
-X Files. Duh.
-South Park.
-Will And Grace.
-Saturday Night Live.
-Anything related to stand up, on Comedy Central.
-Conan O'Brien.
-Everybody Loves Raymond.
-The Daily Show.
-All things documentary-ish. Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, World Link TV! Don't be shy!
I could go on, but it says things I love, not just like. And I'm lazy.
4 Celebrities You Don't Like
-This is a neverending answer, right here. I mean, just celebs in general? Not even limiting it to actors? Or perhaps musicians? Actually, I can't really think of any actors who actually bug me very much, but I could go on forever when it comes to musicians.
Drinks You Regularly Drink
-Diet Pepsi/Diet Coke
-Water. Exciting!
-Dole Pineapple Orange Whatever Mix Juice
Yeah, that's pretty much it. Sometimes, I'll have a sprite or something, but it's really rare.
4 Ice Cream Flavors You Love
-Cookies 'n Cream
-Peanut Butter Chocolate (Tillamook)
-Dulce De Leches (Haggen Dazs)
-Chocolate Chip Mint
-French Vanilla
-Strawberry Cheesecake
4 Random Facts About Yourself (again with the non 4 total cheating)
-I didn't say more than a few select words until I was about three years old (I couldn't hear very well. My ear drums were perforated or something, before I had surgery at like two)
-I also walked late, and got potty trained late.
-I didn't learn to swim until I was nine years old, and only then, because my Nanny and Aunt Julie forced me to learn (it was no cartoons and no pop until I learned. I wasn't happy about that one! Heh)
-I didn't learn how to blow bubble gum, till my sophomore year in High School
-I taught myself how to ride a two wheeler, when I was like seven or eight (I was waiting outside for my Mom and sister to finish getting ready. They were going to take me to the park and teach me. Heh, too late!)
-I've had my cat since I was three years old.
-I took speech therapy for six years. If you asked me my name as a kid, I'd say "Wachael Mawie."
-I got put in the corner, the first day of Kindergarten.
-I'm a really picky eater.
-I played the violin for something like eight years, though it wasn't always consistent.
-I've never had a cavity
-I've only broken one bone. My left pinky toe. I tripped over a binder in the dark, one night. Smooth.
-Wild mushrooms creep me out. No, really.
-I'm the biggest chicken on the face of the planet. Did I say the face of the planet? Because I meant THE FACE OF THE PLANET.
-I have no piercings. I had my ears pierced at eleven, but let them close up.
'Kay, that's enough of that. . .
4 Random Facts About Your Family
-My Great Great Grandpa's name was Knut. Hee. Hey, it said random, didn't it?
-My Grandma on my Dad's side grew up in orphanages, mostly. Her parents (one from Ireland, the other from France) were apparently struggling musicians, and didn't have the money to raise her.
-My Grandpa has a street named after him, in Tanasbourne (he helped plan the city, when it was being built). Oh, and he was a fuckin' genius.
-My Grandma's family started Friar Tuck's restaurant, around here. They sold it, but the recipe's the same. So if any of you ever eat there, remember that! MmmFriarTuck's. . .
-My family is related to Judy Garland. Damn straight!
-We're all a bunch of oompa loompas. My sister, at the amazonian height of around 5'4, is tall in my family.
4 Websites You Recommend
Oooh, that's tough.
-Well, duh, meta.
-XF Fic 101. Behold, my favorite XF fanfic site, when I need to find a certain author, or type of archive.
-Lost and Found Boards. That place is great. When you're looking for a random fic, the people there are all about helping you find it. And they have a long list of fics by theme, there in the FAQ (which is what I linked to).
-The Haven. I go to this site a lot, as well. Not lately, quite so much, but fanfic has slowed down, so what can you do?
And, yeah, I could go on with the XF linkage, but lots of the other links I would give you, you could probably find a link for on the ones I already gave. Heh. So, right.
-The Spark and Emode. Couple old favorite quiz sites.
And? DONE. Bed now. Or soon. Should, but don't wanna. Even though I'm tired. I'm a strange individual.