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Trouble don't last always
All right folks, I've got a few brief announcements to make before I go make my couch's acquaintance & prepare myself for some Bones-filled funtimes:
Announcement #1:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sumpta is the biggity-biggity bomb. Wanna know why? Because when I came home today, I checked my mail & found a box of Belgian motherfrakkin' chocolate waiting for me. Not only that, but two of them are truffles. MY FAVORITE KIND. sumpta, just so you know, if you didn't live so far away, you would totally be getting some right now. Just sayin'. (also: It's completely your fault when I gain these 20 pounds back. Heeee. P.S. I love your elaborate list of BSG chocolate questions! Haha. I will fill them all out and post my answers here as soon as I try each one out, but I have to pace myself so I don't pass out in a sugar coma or something. Oh, but what a way to go!)
Announcement #2: So, uh, guess who might have glaucoma? Yeah, possibly me. Okay, okay, so I don't know for sure yet. I have to wait until an appointment with my eye doctor on Saturday, but in the meantime I have to stop taking the Topamax as per my doctor's orders. I emailed her after talking withjuliedarling yesterday about the eye pain I'd been having, and she (my doctor) told me to quit it right away and go have my eyes checked out because apparently it can be a serious thing. My instinct is to say it probably has nothing to do with it, and that it's probably just related to the migraines & stress I've been having, because my body tends to do the most ridic shit ever when it comes to stress, but even so I don't really want to end up blind and having to be all, "Whoops, my bad! Guess I should've reported those side effects like the website said! Aw, shucks!" And no, that's not an exaggeration. This shit can make you go blind. So I really don't want to play around here. Especially since I don't usually get eye pain & light sensitivity like this for so many days in a row (certainly not to this degree), so it's really just weird at this point. But again, when I'm going through times of high-stress? My body can & will react in ways that are totally unpredictable. So that's why my instinct is to write this off, but at the same time I have to be better safe than sorry in this particular case.
Still, I'm really just hoping it is stress-related because I want this medication to *work*, you know? I'm not sure where to go from here if it doesn't & I'm seriously tired of being dependent on pain-medication & having my life revolve around the headaches. Plus I'd really prefer not to have glaucoma too. That'd be kind of a bummer. Heh. If I did though, seriously, all I could do at this point is laugh. Like, life, way to suck shit. Worst six months ever. But hopefully that doesn't happen. Hopefully it's stress-related and the eye-doctor appointment is a waste of $65 and I can go back on the Topamax and it'll help me. There's not really much use in worrying at this point about the alternative. I'll cross that bridge if I have to and in the meantime just cross my fingers that it all works out. And try not to be too annoyed that I have to spend $65 too obviously. Ugh.
For what it's worth though? Bizarrely, I'm in kind of a good mood tonight. Maybe it's the chocolate, maybe it's Bones returning, I don't know. Heh. I guess I sort of just feel resigned to the whole, "hey, life is committed to kicking the shit out of me the last few months, so let's make the best out of it, okay? We'll work it out." And yes, I just let my own POV change from "me" to "we". Just go with it. Heh. Seriously though, I've made it this far, right? I'll be all right. Eventually anyway.
Announcement #3: I haven't talked to my sister since her 2 am phone call on Saturday night. Of course I should probably add that I unplugged my phone all Sunday because I knew I couldn't risk any added stress that day before returning to work on Monday & didn't want to deal with hearing from her, so it's possible she tried calling then, but I doubt it. Point is, she hasn't tried calling since. I can't decide which description would apply to her more right now: punk-ass bitch or bitch-ass punk. (bonus points go to anyone who knows where I got that from, heh) And no, I'm not interested in any "aw, but look at it from her side" perspectives. I'm strictly in a "I am wicked irritated & want to smack her across the face" state of mind at the moment. So, you know, fyi. I know we'll make up eventually, but God damn, so annoying. On the other hand though, I'm so exhausted caring about family stuff lately that I can't get myself to think about it or care about it for more than like two seconds before I'm just like, "God whatever, I'm gonna think about something else now." I'm just sort of cared-out, you know? Kind of numb. Maybe that's a good thing? Or does that make me somehow heartless or bad? I don't even know anymore.
I do know when we talk again though that I'm still sticking to what I told her before, which is that I don't want to hear about her marital problems anymore. Eventually she's going to have to get that through her head. I do at least have faith that she can though, but I'm just not sure how long it'll take is all. I just can't be there for her anymore though when it comes to him & his abusive crap, because it doesn't help her; it just hurts me. She needs a professional to help her, bottom line. And it's not fair of her to keep asking me to make things better when I tell her I can't, and I tell her it stresses me out, and have told her what I think she should do & she doesn't listen. After a certain point, you exhaust your right to ask for a person's shoulder to cry on when you keep making stupid decisions. It's sad & I feel bad for her because I love her, but it's been going on for so many years now & I just can't handle the strain anymore.
All right, it is now about twenty past eight and I think that is a sufficient amount of time for my DVR to let me watch Bones with no commercials. Hee. Genius, I know.
For my Vid of the Day, how about we pay tribute to one of my favorite female characters of all time? Flist, may I present to you Anya "Lame-ass Made-up Maiden Name" Harris? *does the Dance of Capitalist Superiority in her honor*
(psst, this vid is by charlierwj for those keeping score. Enjoy!)
Announcement #1:
sumpta is the biggity-biggity bomb. Wanna know why? Because when I came home today, I checked my mail & found a box of Belgian motherfrakkin' chocolate waiting for me. Not only that, but two of them are truffles. MY FAVORITE KIND. sumpta, just so you know, if you didn't live so far away, you would totally be getting some right now. Just sayin'. (also: It's completely your fault when I gain these 20 pounds back. Heeee. P.S. I love your elaborate list of BSG chocolate questions! Haha. I will fill them all out and post my answers here as soon as I try each one out, but I have to pace myself so I don't pass out in a sugar coma or something. Oh, but what a way to go!)Announcement #2: So, uh, guess who might have glaucoma? Yeah, possibly me. Okay, okay, so I don't know for sure yet. I have to wait until an appointment with my eye doctor on Saturday, but in the meantime I have to stop taking the Topamax as per my doctor's orders. I emailed her after talking with
juliedarling yesterday about the eye pain I'd been having, and she (my doctor) told me to quit it right away and go have my eyes checked out because apparently it can be a serious thing. My instinct is to say it probably has nothing to do with it, and that it's probably just related to the migraines & stress I've been having, because my body tends to do the most ridic shit ever when it comes to stress, but even so I don't really want to end up blind and having to be all, "Whoops, my bad! Guess I should've reported those side effects like the website said! Aw, shucks!" And no, that's not an exaggeration. This shit can make you go blind. So I really don't want to play around here. Especially since I don't usually get eye pain & light sensitivity like this for so many days in a row (certainly not to this degree), so it's really just weird at this point. But again, when I'm going through times of high-stress? My body can & will react in ways that are totally unpredictable. So that's why my instinct is to write this off, but at the same time I have to be better safe than sorry in this particular case. Still, I'm really just hoping it is stress-related because I want this medication to *work*, you know? I'm not sure where to go from here if it doesn't & I'm seriously tired of being dependent on pain-medication & having my life revolve around the headaches. Plus I'd really prefer not to have glaucoma too. That'd be kind of a bummer. Heh. If I did though, seriously, all I could do at this point is laugh. Like, life, way to suck shit. Worst six months ever. But hopefully that doesn't happen. Hopefully it's stress-related and the eye-doctor appointment is a waste of $65 and I can go back on the Topamax and it'll help me. There's not really much use in worrying at this point about the alternative. I'll cross that bridge if I have to and in the meantime just cross my fingers that it all works out. And try not to be too annoyed that I have to spend $65 too obviously. Ugh.
For what it's worth though? Bizarrely, I'm in kind of a good mood tonight. Maybe it's the chocolate, maybe it's Bones returning, I don't know. Heh. I guess I sort of just feel resigned to the whole, "hey, life is committed to kicking the shit out of me the last few months, so let's make the best out of it, okay? We'll work it out." And yes, I just let my own POV change from "me" to "we". Just go with it. Heh. Seriously though, I've made it this far, right? I'll be all right. Eventually anyway.
Announcement #3: I haven't talked to my sister since her 2 am phone call on Saturday night. Of course I should probably add that I unplugged my phone all Sunday because I knew I couldn't risk any added stress that day before returning to work on Monday & didn't want to deal with hearing from her, so it's possible she tried calling then, but I doubt it. Point is, she hasn't tried calling since. I can't decide which description would apply to her more right now: punk-ass bitch or bitch-ass punk. (bonus points go to anyone who knows where I got that from, heh) And no, I'm not interested in any "aw, but look at it from her side" perspectives. I'm strictly in a "I am wicked irritated & want to smack her across the face" state of mind at the moment. So, you know, fyi. I know we'll make up eventually, but God damn, so annoying. On the other hand though, I'm so exhausted caring about family stuff lately that I can't get myself to think about it or care about it for more than like two seconds before I'm just like, "God whatever, I'm gonna think about something else now." I'm just sort of cared-out, you know? Kind of numb. Maybe that's a good thing? Or does that make me somehow heartless or bad? I don't even know anymore.
I do know when we talk again though that I'm still sticking to what I told her before, which is that I don't want to hear about her marital problems anymore. Eventually she's going to have to get that through her head. I do at least have faith that she can though, but I'm just not sure how long it'll take is all. I just can't be there for her anymore though when it comes to him & his abusive crap, because it doesn't help her; it just hurts me. She needs a professional to help her, bottom line. And it's not fair of her to keep asking me to make things better when I tell her I can't, and I tell her it stresses me out, and have told her what I think she should do & she doesn't listen. After a certain point, you exhaust your right to ask for a person's shoulder to cry on when you keep making stupid decisions. It's sad & I feel bad for her because I love her, but it's been going on for so many years now & I just can't handle the strain anymore.
All right, it is now about twenty past eight and I think that is a sufficient amount of time for my DVR to let me watch Bones with no commercials. Hee. Genius, I know.
For my Vid of the Day, how about we pay tribute to one of my favorite female characters of all time? Flist, may I present to you Anya "Lame-ass Made-up Maiden Name" Harris? *does the Dance of Capitalist Superiority in her honor*
(psst, this vid is by charlierwj for those keeping score. Enjoy!)
no subject
I wasn't too thrilled about that either. She just told me to talk to my pharmacist before taking it because it could cause lots of side-effects, but my pharmacist acted like it was no big deal & had nothing to say about it (seriously). To be fair, she prescribed it to me over email because she knows I don't have insurance, so she's been trying to work with me that way lately rather than making me pay to come in, and I think if I'd been in the office with her she would've taken more time to talk to me about it (the emails have limits on how many characters can be included). But it still sucks. The limits on the emails aren't *that* short. She could've found a way to squeeze in the most important warnings.
Man, I hear you on the stomach ailments. My stomach is a fuckin' douchebag. And stress absolutely does a number on it. Plus I know I have IBS. Or something like that. Possibly a small demon living in there. One or the other. But the point is, I'd like to think the eye stuff is from the migraines & tension, so I'm kinda keeping my fingers crossed, but like you said I think it's good to check into it. I figure it's better to lose $65 and be sure I'm okay than risk going blind.
and I hope your migraines are better soon, because obviously, I know how much those suck as well
Thanks, I really appreciate that. :-) I guess if it turns out I can't take the Topamax, I'll just have to find something else to help. But I'm not gonna worry about that unless I have to. First things first, I'll see the eye doctor & then take it from there.
no subject
!!! Okay, seriously. I don't want to trash your doctor if you like her, but SERIOUSLY, if you prescribe something to a patient that could potentially cause her to go BLIND, that is something you need to actually mention and make sure she understands, and not leave to whatever random person at the pharmacy your patient might get that day. Topamax is so hardcore and can have such a wide array of startling side effects on people; that is something patients need at least a head's up about. I mean, it kind of blows my mind that a doctor would prescribe a drug like that without the CAUTION: MAY CAUSE BLINDNESS, as that is kind of important. :| It is cool that she tries to help you out regarding insurance, but still!
Anyway! I am going home this weekend and am going to talk to my brother-in-law about your situation to see if there's anything else preventative you can do if you can't restart the Topamax. He's the smartest doctor I know and my second opinion on everything. :)
no subject
I really appreciate your help though, especially your offer to check with your brother-in-law about other suggestions. Here's the things I've already tried, just to make it easier on you:
-amitryptaline (and other antidepressents like Effexor & now Prozac)
-beta blockers
-acupuncture (though it wasn't on a weekly basis like they recommended, only like biweekly)
-antihistamines
-a night-guard for teeth-grinding (which I still wear)
-imitrex
-pain killers like tramadol, foiricet (or however you spell it), vicodin, etc. I rarely have taken these though as they're usually not effective for me.
(and yes, before it's asked, I have had a CT scan. All that was found was really bad sinus congestion & a slightly deviated septum. I should probably try having that fixed, but can't afford it.)
And uh, yeah, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Hopefully he's got some other suggestions if the Topamax turns out to be a no-go!