rachg82

I know it was totally a fiscal no-no, but I just spent almost twenty dollars (tip included) on a GF pizza & Cherry Coke from Bellagio's. I'm not even supposed to have Coke, because of the corn syrup. But, seriously, can't I just chalk it up to an early Christmas present for myself? 'Cause this shit is really good. Like, it makes me want to do my Happy Food Dance & everything. The only other time I've broken that out in the past year was probably over the Mike & Ike candies my nephew gave me the other night. Heh. And then I invented a ~Sugar Train~ & started chugging my way around the living room, all, "Sugar-sugar-sugar-sugar, choo choo!" Because I'm secretly five years old.

Oh, hey, speaking of -- guess who has new pictures of her cute-ass niece & nephew? ( That'd be me )

As for how it went, hanging with them throughout the weekend, it was nice. I didn't feel pushed into watching them or anything--the first day was my idea, and the second day was Jayden's--and my sister washed my comforter for me (which is difficult to fit into the washers here at my apartments) & paid for dinner on Saturday (in turn, I made the kids lunch & smoothies the next day), so overall there was a reciprocal balance.

And while I'm sure there's some unwritten rule out there about schadenfreude-laced anecdotes & people who've just had a heart attack, I can't help but pass this one along (courtesy of my nephew): apparently my mom came to watch Isabella do gymnastics a while back, and right in the middle of it pulled a giant wooden spoon *out of her purse* and began using it to scratch her back--like I'm saying she'd specifically put it there for ~back-scratching purposes on the go~--then proceeded to pull her shirt up, right there in public, & ask Jayden if he could itch it for her too. Bear in mind, while telling me this story he had to keep catching his breath between giggles, and was all WTF-wide-eyed, like, "I THINK PEOPLE WERE WATCHING. IT WAS REALLY WEIRD! SHE HAD IT IN HER PURSE!" Haha. Story of my childhood, kid. Meanwhile my sister was laughing so hard over this that she was crying, and I wasn't far behind. It's just so HER.

Moving on, I've decided to split my responses to that meme I started into multiple entries, since I'm going ahead with the "three vids per fandom" dealio as well, and I don't want to overload people. We'll do two shows per entry--three episodes & three vids for each--and good times will be had by all. Woo woo.

( First up, Bones & Battlestar Galactica )

Title: Abandon
Fandom: Bones
Author: rachg82
Rating: A squeaky-clean PG
Characters/Pairings: Booth + Papa Booth (not to be confused with Papa Smurf or Papa Doc)
Word Count: 718
Spoilers: Nada (unless you count "The Blackout in the Blizzard," which: c'mon, that was last season.)
Disclaimer: I don't own this show, nor do I own Booth & his daddy issues.
Summary: Game Six of the World Series -- one perfect day in the eyes of a man who never truly got to be a child.

P.S. I knocked this ficlet out over the last couple days, as usual without a beta, so I apologize in advance for any possible craptasticness.

( Let him be happy from time to time, and leap over abysses )

I hate when I fall behind here. Can't I just get paid to sit & write LJ entries all day? I mean, I'm just saying -- two birds with one stone & all. Plus, I'd totally be willing.

Every time I go a few days between updates, I end up all, "TOO MANY THINGS!", and as a result struggle to write anything. So, to make it easier on myself today, I'm just going to wrap up some memes & leave RL-related matters for next time. At which point there'll surely be even more things (the beginning of this week was rough, admittedly. I'm pretty exhausted right now, both emotionally & physically. P.S. this job involves WAY more moving of the body than I anticipated. My muscles, they are le sore), but nevermind that. At least I'm posting.

First up, a meme from lytab5:

Comment to this post with "Five Me" and I will list five things I associate with you. They might make sense or they might be totally random. Then post that list, with your commentary, to your LJ (or just add a reply back to me). Other people can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.

( Here are the five things I was given )

And, finally, let's finish that 30 song challenge, shall we?

( Days 27 - 30 )

1. I could not find my bat headband last night. Very sad. Also sad? No trick-or-treaters. Well, except for a group of teenaged boys who were probably too old for such a thing, though they were at least fully dressed up, & one of them enthusiastically (if not a little spazzily, ha. He like SHOUTED into my apartment) complimented my lava lamp. So, yeah, that was amusing. Except I wish they'd taken more candy; I fell into a bit of a sugar coma somewhere around 9 pm, even added a few of them into a banana mint chocolate chip milkshake, (made with coconut milk!), haha. Oh, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I wish I could quit you.

P.S. Obviously, my stomach is feeling better atm than last week. Well, not totally, but mostly. Regardless, nothing keeps me from hoards of candy on Halloween. Straight-up.

P.P.S. I did see trick-or-treaters on my way home while riding the bus. Tigard, which neighbors my town, does this thing every year on Main Street, opening up the businesses to kids & handing out candy & what-not. It's very cutesy, appropriately so for that area, which takes the "Main Street" cliche to heart, trying to be all down-home & folksy (especially ridic considering that when Jen and I used to live down the road from there it was like non-stop crime central). There are signs up & down the road for things like "burgers" & "stamps", which cracks me up because it's like, "Dude, they can see the McDonalds. They don't need a second sign for 'burgers', like it's the one & only ~burger district~ or something." My favorite though is the "stationary" sign in front of the stationery store. Haha. Spelling fail!

2. Energy assistance was not only able to cover my entire electric bill, but also apply a $50 credit toward my next bill, due in December. V. awesome.

3. I am weak & have already watched the five sneak-peeks for Bones this week. EXCITE. My hands, they are flaily.

4. I'm making my way through season 2 of Psych now, which it turns out I'd already seen a good deal of (I'll end a sentence with a prep if I want to.[/rebel]). But that's okay, because I hadn't seen all the eps, and I don't mind rewatching stuff anyway. This show is just so much joy, y'all. I mean, LASSIE WANTED A PONY AS A LITTLE BOY. Can you even? I WANT TO SQUISH THE LIFE OUT OF HIS STOIC MR. BEAN FACE.

Also: the quote in my subject heading? OMG, I was laughing for at least a minute afterward. I had to pause it.

5. I really need to clean & do laundry & things like that, but I don't want to. I'm trying to put the "five minute" concept into effect that my counselor and I discussed (basically, if you have something you're dreading that's difficult to start, just commit to doing it for five minutes a day or whatever you can handle), but it's still a challenge. I just want to sit/lie motionless all day -- is that so much to ask?

( 30 song challenge: Days 15 and 16 )

As y'all know, I finally finished the fic of doom, a.k.a. the eternal story that would not die (okay, so it didn't really take THAT long, but shh), which can only mean one thing: time for a soundtrack. Heyyo.

I decided not to include any repeats here from previous fic playlists, despite the fact that I did listen to some of the same stuff while writing it, but even so this bad boy still consists of no less than forty songs. Some clearly influenced the story, while others merely played in the background & assisted with mojo. That being said, you don't need to have read it or even be into the show to enjoy the music (hopefully).

Since there are so many tracks, and since LJ gets wonky loading YouTube vids these days, I won't embed them -- just gonna share the links. I will share quotes & thoughts on some of the choices, too, but not every single one.

( Music, music, get your music here )

-I had my interview with the first temp agency today, and I may already have a job. It's not for sure yet, but I should know more tomorrow. The lady I spoke with only found out about the position this morning, so she's going over to the site tomorrow to talk to them. It sounds promising though. It is full time, which carries with it both pros & cons for me at this point, but it's temp-to-hire and a back-office position (document control/electronic filing). I don't know what the pay would be yet, what the dress code is, or even where it's located, but again -- I should know more tomorrow.

-As for what money I'll even use to *get* there on the bus between now & when I get my first paycheck? Don't know that yet either. Nor do I know what to do about my phone bill or power bill, but I'll try to come up with something once I know for sure that the job is a go. I think my apartment manager will probably be more willing to work with me on rent for November, too, if I can tell her I'm employed again. We'll see.

-I want to make sure I can continue treatment/getting medication as I begin working, but that falls into another category of things I don't know yet. I'm probably thinking too far ahead right now, honestly. I need to slow down.

-I used my heat for the first time this season tonight. Ice cold up in here, yo. And by "ice cold" I of course mean fifty degrees. So…not icy at all, then. Heh.

-My back & stomach are still a bit wonky, but feeling marginally better. ETA: Scratch that, ugh. The pain is back. Whyyy.

-I had a pretty emotional dream last night, wherein I reunited with Jayden at my grandma's house, and he ran up to me & hugged me for like EVER, and then as the dream changed he was lying on the ground for some reason, unable to breathe. And I tried giving him CPR, but it didn't work, and he died right there in front of me, with me bawling over his body & telling him he meant "everything" to me and was "the light of my life" and on & on. It was just overall really upsetting. In one of those funky dream ways though, it's probably something I needed to get out, I'm sure. But the feelings it gave me are still lingering. So, y'know, disturbing.

-On a brighter note, I FINISHED MY FIC. If you look out your window right now, you'll probably even catch some pigs flying by.

All I need to do now is read through it one final time, make sure nothing's horribly off, and then I can post the sucker. Whaaat. (P.S. C'MON, SON. Haha.)

Until then, I'll leave y'all with a cracky, season-appropriate Vid of the Day, since I already caught up on the song challenge meme for now. This one's by pavlowsdog. Enjoy:

1. Rent for October is PAID. I couldn't pay the entire late fee (I'm still waiting for some of the PayPal funds to be transferred to my bank account. Once they go through, I'll have $128.49 left), but my apartment manager was willing to push the remaining $21 to next month. I'm kind of paranoid now that some surprise thing will get debited before the check goes through (like stupid Bally's Gym, for instance. HATE THEM), but that probably won't happen. I haven't used my card for anything in forever, and even Bally's hasn't charged me since July, which makes me wonder if my contract finally ended. I will so throw imaginary confetti in the air if that's the case. They have been such a pain in my ass over the last few years.

I did end up needing my friend's help after all, because rent assistance was already out of funds by the time I called. There was nothing I could've done about that, unfortunately, since I didn't get my eviction notice until yesterday, and I couldn't request assistance until then. Normally, people get their notice on the 8th & call that day; however, my apartments apparently don't hand eviction notices out until after the 10th.

I have a little over three weeks before November's rent becomes an issue, but: one thing at a time. I know she's willing to work out a payment plan with me if I can pay the full amount in three installments before that month is over; if I can't, but I can still pay at least half the full amount, she's willing to push the rest to the following month & try to work something else out. She told me she's helping me like this because she can tell I'm "really trying," and I have to say, I'm INCREDIBLY grateful for it. I'm so glad she took over a while back. If I were dealing right now with the old management? Ugh. This story would've gone a lot differently.

2. I'm not sure what to do about my phone/internet/tv bill or my electric bill just yet (both are overdue by a lot), but I can't think about that right now. I'll give it a few days, then revisit it.

3. When my friend dropped off the money today, she included a GF baking mix (works for pancakes, banana bread, cookies, etc), paper towels (which I needed), my favorite kind of GF bread (Udi's--it's the only kind that's good, seriously. Trader Joe's doesn't carry it), and a little bag of aroma therapy bath stuff. Some of it had already been used, so I think she had it around the house vs. buying it, but DUDE. Really, really nice of her. The lotion smells amazeballs, and the skin on my hands right now is like BUTTAH--as the Coffee Talk lady would say.

4. My stomach was still hurting like an a-hole last night, so I didn't get much done, but I did do a load of laundry for the first time in a while. Honestly, there's a blanket that I threw up on while camping last summer--which had been completely rinsed off but never truly washed--that had been lying on my bedroom floor all this time (well, more so "in a shin-high pile of other also-unwashed items" than the floor, but you get the idea). It finally got washed. I'd be embarassed to admit how long it took me to do, but I'm keeping it real here. This is what depression looks like.

5. I'm still going to look into school stuff first (I think I'll take the bus to PCC tomorrow & just try to talk to someone in person, since the financial aid dept's number's always busy), but I am thinking up preliminary job plans too. It's still scary, especially because of my crappy health, and because I despise anything that's up in the air, but yeah. Once more with feeling--one thing at a time. Amongst other things, I'm going to set up a profile on care.com and see if maybe there's a nanny/tutor/housekeeping-type job I can do. My friend B suggested it, and is now sending me all sorts of links, which is appreciated, though it's also kind of stressful because I feel like it puts pressure on me. I'm just reminding myself that all I can do is try. I may or may not meet people's expectations; I can't control that. I just don't want it to become one of those things where she wants to help me, but then ends up resenting me because she doesn't think I'm doing enough to help myself or am not being successful at it or whatever.

6. New Psych starts toniiiight. I am legit excited. I've been going through this list of quotes from the show today & cracking up. Like, my neighbors might've heard. Heh.

I'm pleased to say I'm feeling excited now for Bones' return next month, too. The spoilers have been getting better, and the reviews from critics who've seen the first couple eps already are super encouraging.

7. Facebook continues to be the most annoying thing on the planet--I try to use it, try to like it, but argh. It's like an instant douche converter--but every now & then I do see something funny on there. Case in point: ( True statements are true )

8. I need like an alarm bell to go off every time I pick a food item to eat, reminding me to thoroughly check the ingredients, I swear. Why must my new boysenberry jam have corn syrup? Why must Doritos include wheat? Life HARD.

9. ( Parenthood )

10. I had the most random childhood memory come back to me yesterday. It's really not interesting enough to share here, but watch me do it anyway. Heh. I was following a link that one of my LJ flistmates shared, looking related stuff up (as one does. I like to learn about crap, what can I say), and came across info about sensory issues in children. It offhandedly mentioned kids flipping their shit over vacuum cleaners, and instantly my mind was like, "OMG, I REMEMBER THAT." Totally all ~poof~ out of nowhere. Heh. My mom used to come & warn me if she were going to use the vacuum, literally apologizing for it & being all "I'll try to be quick," and I'm talking up to at least the age of 12 (now that I'm remembering it, I'm pretty sure it continued after that for some time), and I remember yelling at her to stop if she did it for too long. Also: if she were vacuuming in the same room as me, I'd tuck into a corner/sit on a chair hugging my knees/get as far away from it as I could & cover my ears until she was done. It was an especially funny time to remember this, too, because I'd just posted on facebook about how annoyed I was by my upstairs neighbors vacuuming for too long. Ha.

For my Vid of the Day, I'll share a vid that sumpta and I were laughing about earlier. It's fairly appropriate this week:

I just sneezed something like ten times in five minutes. I think that's my allergies' way of telling me to clean my room. Well. FAT CHANCE OF THAT HAPPENING, ALLERGIES.

…I need a maid.[/first world problems]

In non-first-world-problem news, you guys are amazing. Paypal takes a small chunk away from every donation, but currently I still have a net balance of something like $460. I'm praying the rent assistance comes through this morning too, because if it does, and if I get the full amount (almost enough for rent), I'll be able to pay October's rent/late fee (with both the donations/assistance combined) & have a little to put toward next month's. Plus it means I can eat a little until the SNAP funds come through, which they're taking their sweet-ass time doing (it could take until the 18th at the latest). I actually counted up all the pennies in my apartment this weekend, taking them to the local coinstar machine, and ended up with a little over five bucks, and was all excited because it meant I could buy ice cream & toilet paper without guilt/stress (the ice cream was a treat). So, yeah. If it weren't for all of you, I'd have eleven dollars left right now.

This still leaves bills that are late, my needing to get a job and/or school loans asap, the possibility of rent assistance *not* going through, but it's SOMETHING. A lot of something. It makes thinking about handling the rest significantly easier, and I appreciate that hugely.

I'll be going to the food pantry tonight--it turned out to be way far from the nearest bus stop, and I was concerned I couldn't carry a week's worth of food/supplies nearly a mile by myself--with my old Xerox coworker/friend, B (not the 'B' I had a crush on. Heh. There were two of them!). Technically, her name is actually Rachel, but, y'know, since MINE is Rachael, we call each other by our last names or last initials. ~As one does~. (there really were too many damn Rach(a)els born in the 1970s/'80s, seriously) She offered on her own to take me to Trader Joe's afterward too, at her expense, since they supposedly have a lot of GF stuff & what-not. Accepting help like this from a friend still makes me nervous--you never know if the person's trying to somehow "fix" you, is doing it out of pity not love, and will expect some type of medal for it later--but that doesn't eliminate the gratitude.

In other, more random news:

-I think the recent extra burst of stress is taking its toll on my body now (or: adjusting to the new med, perhaps? Or both?). I've been sleeping like 10-12 hours a night, still needing naps, totally exhausted, yet my heart's just like "BEATBEATBEATBEAT" non-stop. I'll wake up from one of said naps, and my pulse will still just be truckin' along like a spazzy crackhead, all rapid-fire. And I'm like, "Uhh, I've been unconscious, not moving. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, HEART?" I'd write it off to bad dreams, but it's often like that when I'm awake too, and I've been down this road many-a-times before with palpitations, so I know it's just something to accept & not freak out over. So annoying though. Every time it happens, the neurotic, irrational part of me yells, "OMG, IT'S A HEART-ATTACK." Then the rest of me is like, "SHUT UP, LOON. NO, IT'S NOT. UGH."

-When I was at the coinstar machine the other night? There was a woman in front of me in line with over $130 worth of change. I was just like: Umm. Dude. I will never make fun of pennies again.

-Dark Matters continues to be delightful. Here's a trailer (you know you want it):

America, circa early-1960s: HEY, SOVIETS. COMMIEDOUCHEBAGSAYSWHAT?
USSR: Wha--*beat* ORLLY? So, it's like that, huh?
America: IT'S LIKE THAT.
USSR: Hmm, well, guess what we'll be doing tonight while you're banging your mother?
America: Actually, that was your mother.
USSR: MY MOTHER IS DEAD.
America: …
USSR: ANYWAY. We'll be blowing up a big, fat nuke in space. But don't worry, it obviously has nothing to do with you. *shifty eyes*
America: THAT'S FINE. We'll just blow up a bigger one.
Scientists: Uhh, guys? That might not be a good idea.
America/USSR: SHUT UP, NERD.

~History~. It's fun like that. Also: there's people transplanting monkey heads. I bet you wish you had a monkey head.

-The new season of Psych starts this Wednesday. This is all I have to say:



-Last time I went to Taco Del Mar, there was an employee there who hadn't seen me in a while (she yelled out "HI!" when I walked in, causing the whole line to turn & stare. Heh. It was cute), and she told me ( cut for weight stuff )

-There's a good chance I'll be done with my fic in the next day or two. I spent most of yesterday working on it before hitting a block. I think I just needed a break though & am hoping I'll fly through the rest in similar fashion. It's *so close* to the end. It's one of the only things I feel interested in right now, too, so the mojo comes at a good time.

And that's it. I'm behind on comments again, but I'll try to catch up soon. In the meantime, here's an epic movie-style trailer of one of my favorite Psych eps (by PinkRosePictures2):

It's unfortunate that my world is so full of stressful suck at the moment--October is normally one of my favorite months. I will say though that I enjoyed seeing my apartment manager's office covered in green cobwebs today (Why green? Mutant spiders, I'm guessing. Or because they have a secret desire for me to walk by & ask, "Going GREEN, are we? I hear that's big these days! OHH, RIMSHOT. WHO'S WITH ME"), not to mention all the Psych promos airing now for the upcoming 10/12 premiere. Which are basically making my entire life right now, just so y'all know. So much so that I had to pick a few favorites & embed them here (and by "a few", I mean five. Er). ( As one does )

…I really need some Psych icons. Seriously.

In other news, a new Bones promo popped up on the interwebz today as well. It's adorbs & much more promising imo than the previous promo they'd been showing. It can be found here.

In other, other news: I watched the first two eps (from the current season) of Castle tonight. YOU'RE WELCOME, FANDOM. Heh. I'll be honest and admit I'm totally biased against it--I do this with shows sometimes, hee. I did it with Buffy, for instance, for like years--and spend most of my time whenever I catch an ep mocking it in my head, but there's part of me that enjoys parts of it too. So I'll give it a bit more time and see if I warm up more. I reserve the right to keep mocking it internally though. No promises.

In other, other, other news: I'm still having a pretty rough time of it with my anxiety levels and SI issues, especially today. Like, kind of almost through the roof. I don't want to go into it in more detail than that though without a flocked post/trigger warning, but, yeah -- case in point as to why I could use some easy TV-induced happytimes even more so than usual atm. There've been a few times over the last week or so where I probably should've just called someone, like tonight for instance, but I just don't want to right now; I didn't even talk about it here the last time I self-injured, before today. What I do want is to have things be BETTER (no talking required, just ~magic~. Totally realistic). Get the food stamp money asap, find out what's up with unemployment (and have it be a positive result), pay my rent on time, figure out What I Want To Do next *without* the money-panic weighing me down, get used to my new counselor & new medication, and take things from there. I just, ugh, can't even talk about it more than that.

I did at least accomplish a couple things today though, despite the badness above. Ran a few errands (couldn't drag myself out in time for the ACA meeting, though. It took me a while to do anything. One of those "want to dig a hole & hide in it"-type days.), wrote a bit more for my fic, listened to a crapload of songs on YouTube, shook my fist in the air at Super Mario Bros. 2 & 3 (screw you, princess. Save yourself! I don't want your letters! Heh), and…okay, so that's not that much. But it felt like a lot. I was running on three hours sleep after waking up at 4 am from a nightmare. Really wish the recurring "someone showing up in my apartment" dreams would go the fuck away. aclieahogih CREEPY. I get out of bed & feel like I need to check the shadows & shit. So mental. Not that they'll stop me from probably watching a hot mess of horror movies/shows over the Halloween season, but shh.

Anyway, that's all for now as I should probably try to get to bed. Though I'll more likely try to beat my high score on Text Twist again, instead. But it's the thought that counts.

P.S. I'm behind on comments, but I do intend to try to catch up soon.

For my Vid of the Day, how's about I share three of the songs I listened to today? It's been a while since I did that. ( Behind the cut 'cause I'm considerate like that )