rachg82

1. The first section of my fic finally feels polished & complete, allowing me to move on to the next part. It's at about 1,620 words right now, and I could--if I wanted--probably get away with posting it as its own ficlet. I don't want to though, because I want to cover more stuff, and I'm not a fan of doing things in chapters as a WIP (for my own stories, I mean). But I'm glad to at least feel like I'm making more progress now. This one has really been tedious & slow-going, mostly probably because it's really important to me that I get it right.

2. I had a dream last night that St. Vincent (as in the singer) was my girlfriend. IF ONLY. Of course I was also apparently dating Booth (and there were two of him, might I add. I was only with one, however. The other was douchey. Ha. CLONES TODAY, I tells ya).

3. ( Speaking of fictional boyfriends )

4. I got my ACA book in the mail the other day. See, I knew it wouldn't take 4-6 weeks. Now to start reading it.

5. One of my meetup groups is going to a free classical concert event next week, and I signed up to go. So far there's only one other person going though, heh. But there's another meetup group (for music) that we'll be meeting up with there, so I'm assuming there'll be at least a handful of people attending. Hopefully it's a good performance.

That's pretty much it for now. There's other things I could talk about too, but they're even more boring.

For my Vid of the Day, ( how about three random ones? )

It's been a couple days since I updated, so I feel like I should, but I'm having one of those issues where I can't think of what to write & everything I CAN think of sounds boring. So I end up just sitting & staring at the computer screen all "BLAH" like a human question mark. "Entry! Why won't you write yourself? Be a team player!" I hate that.

Anyway, I'll just ramble for a minute & we can all pretend it's interesting.

-I had a really bad migraine the night before last, and as a result I've slept more than I've been awake the last two days. I still don't feel quite "over it" yet--my limbs feel heavy, my stomach is frakked, it's hard to read things, when I went to the store yesterday I had difficulty talking (words came out wrong/stilted), etc. Immediately afterward, I felt simultaneously exhausted & yet extremely relaxed/almost good (migraine euphoria, in other words), but then (and now) I just came back to feeling out of it & vaguely depressed yet not. I'm used to all of it, but it's strange, especially because I don't always experience the postdrome phase so severely. It really depends on how bad the migraine itself is, usually (in this case, it was pretty bad). It's good to know there's a reason for all of it though. I find it comforting when I can understand what's going on with my body. It's kind of interesting, almost. The brain is an odd thing.

-During the few hours I was awake yesterday, I watched a couple episodes of some ghost show on cable (I always end up watching the most random crap when sick, I swear). It was your usual fare of sillyness--every ghost in the world apparently wears white dresses circa the Victorian era--but I heard a quote from one of the women that I liked: "God's delay doesn't necessarily mean God's denial." She said her dead father appeared to her & said that, which--whatever, who knows--but I don't think it matters whether it's true or even whether you believe in God. It's still a nice concept.

-Speaking of things I've heard lately that I liked, here's a few more:

"You make your choices and you live with them, and in the end you are those choices."-BSG

"Sometimes we have to leave people behind so that we can go on--so that we can continue to fight."-BSG

"Success is not a goal. It's a byproduct."-Friday Night Lights

"A friend once said, and I found to be true, that everyday people--they lie to God too--so what makes you think that they won't lie to you?"-Lauryn Hill

The last one is a line from a song, and I've of course heard it before, but it had been a while. I've been talking with jasminelily about some of the things my mom said to me in those emails, and the likelihood that she was lying about what my nephew said, so that lyric resonated with me.

-Parks & Rec this week was freaking hilarious. "I'm gonna make out with him. On his face." HA. Also: everyone drunk. BEST EVER.

-Community doesn't know how to be anything but awesome, I don't think. ABED WAS HAN SOLO, Y'ALL. HE MADE OUT WITH ANNIE & THEN WAS JUST LIKE, "COOL", AND WALKED OFF. Hahaha.

-I continue to enjoy Friday Night Lights. If I had Netflix, I'd stream it from the beginning, but I prefer living in the 20th century so I don't. Okay, so that's a joke, but it's not far off from the truth. Heh. I do want to rent the first season though. I suspect I will over the summer. There's a few other shows I plan to check out, too, most likely. Probably Farscape, Castle, and maybe Dr. Who. Maybe. I've seen a couple episodes & really didn't get sucked in, but I know a lot of people who are into it, so I'm open.

-Lastly, I'm still slowly but surely working on my fic, though this one has been giving me a hard time. I talked about it with keenai the other day though, ( which I'll include here, 'cause that's how I roll )

For my Vid of the Day, I'm gonna get my convert-powerz on. It's come to my attention that some of you are still not watching Community. This simply won't do. Hence, I shall provide clips to help make it right. You're welcome.

1. I had a dream last night wherein I was both watching & simultaneously present within what *apparently* was supposed to be an episode of Glee (WTF), and all the characters--none of whom of course looked anything like the people on the show--got together to sing Feelings by Floetry to apologize to a girl in their group for hurting her wittle teenaged feelings or some crap. One even broke out with the spoken word poetry, much to my horror, while they all stood there in a cheesy semi-circle, wearing headbands & looking earnest. And in the dream I was all, "NO NO NO! GLEE CANNOT SING FLOETRY! NOT THIS DAY!" Haha. I was so annoyed.

2. Hey, did you guys know it's Thursday? Wanna know something else? IT'S BONES DAY. I cannot WAIT for tonight's episode, oh my God. It looks so good.

3. Sometime either today, tomorrow, or in the next few days, I have to give in & call the unemployment people about requesting an extension for my benefits. I don't want to do it. I have to do it. I DON'T WANT TO DO IT.

4. I'm really into capslock this week. Don't know if you guys have noticed.[/sarcastic] Heh.

5. I had a terrible migraine last night, so I'm already feeling nervous about the "going off Topiramate" thing (i.e. the preventative-migraine meds). I'm down to one pill per day now (I was taking three--I've been tapering off the dose). Then again, it was at the end of my period, and I'd woken up from a long nap + hadn't eaten enough, and yeah. I don't know. I don't really have good choices here. All I can say to myself is that, when I get a job again, I'll find a new doctor & reassess my options. Like I said before, I can always go back on it in the future (if that seems to be the right decision), but in the meantime, I was becoming concerned that the side effects were worsening my eating issues/depression/energy levels. Plus, it's that much more money to spend every month, and the refills will soon be out--hence what started the whole thing.

I guess we'll just see. It's not even that, oh, I can't deal with being in pain, y'know? Clearly, I can. But it's a lot easier when you're unemployed. The problem is that I can't stay unemployed forever and, when you have a job, *that's* when getting the really severe migraines become an Issue<--intentionally capitalized.

But at least over the last year I did make efforts to reduce the stress in my life--if you think about it. That's one of the things my doctor told me to do, when it came to helping the migraines in the long-term. Stepping away from my family IS part of that. If I can get a job, begin sleeping & eating consistently again (i.e. regular/predictable times & amounts), start exercising again, those things will probably also help. And, again, this is something that can be reassessed later. I don't need to ~figure it all out~ right now & obsess, even though that's what my mind always wants to do.

6. On a positive note, I created tags for my Year/Decade in Review posts (I enjoy being organized), and while I was at it I took some time reading excerpts of entries from this month over the years, i.e. March in '02 & March in '03 and so on. It's an interesting way to get perspective on yourself, especially when you're in one of those "I've accomplished nothing & have no chance of getting anywhere!" shame-spirals (truth is, I *have* progressed. I'm better at understanding/acknowledging what it is I'm feeling now; I'm better at standing up for what I need; I'm better at trying new things--like writing fanfic, for instance; it's something I didn't think I'd ever have the nerve to do--etc. I'd say I'm more in touch with myself in general, which is certainly an accomplishment. It's just hard to see sometimes, understandably).

Anyway, I was thinking it'd make for a good meme in case anyone else wanted to swipe it for their lj: take whatever today's date is--in this case, 3/17--and choose an excerpt(s) from an entry posted on that day (or another day that's close, if there's nothing applicable) for each year that you've had your journal. Post the quotes together all in one entry & ~voila~. Instant self-reflection. ( Here, I'll even go first (possible trigger warning for some of it, as a heads-up) )

7. Speaking of shame-spirals & feeling like a failure, I got to talking with Jen about that yesterday ( along with the random GLUTEN-hatefest the whole world seems to be in on lately )

8. My BSG rewatch continues. Yesterday, I watched "You Can't Go Home Again," "Litmus," "Six Degrees of Separation," & "Flesh and Bone." Two things: One--"Six Degrees of Separation" cracks me up every single time (No more Mr. Nice Gaius!), and two--"Flesh and Bone" is awesome. AWESOME. "To know the face of God is to know madness." And everything he says to Kara about her childhood? Ahh, so good. The whole thing. Wanna roll around in it.

9. This entry's already pretty long, but I'm sitting on good music & feel like sharing some of it. ( 3 songs I'm listening to today )

10. And, finally, for my Vid of the Day, here's what I kept thinking of all throughout my rewatch of "You Can't Go Home Again." I still wish Gary the Cylon were a real show, haha. "Get ready to do your stand-up routine in Hell."

1. I still want someone to make a BSG fanvid to this song. Any takers?

*edited to add: and I'd also still like someone to make a Bones fanvid to this song. 'DAT ASS.

2. I love my online friends. This is not new; however, sometimes this fact needs to be celebrated. Thanks goes to keenai for keeping me company via chat tonight with cracky funtimes. Anything that makes me laugh hard enough to literally clap my hands in joy deserves to be shared, so: ( behold, we are some funny bitches )

3. Speaking of keenai, she's convinced me to listen to Harry Potter audiobooks once I've returned my current book to the library. Whatever the results of this are, I will be blaming them on her. (no, I've never read them--only seen a few of the movies) We've decided (read: I've decided. Hee) it's okay for me to equate it to an aural kids' movie experience, since I don't do YA books & she thinks I'll enjoy the story. Just go with it.

4. This is random, but when am I not random? So. gina227 made a joke in one of her posts recently about the Bones writers & their cracky ways (affectionately & facetiously, much like I would), and I commented with this vid. I couldn't help but share it here too. Heh. Oh, HH! (for real though? That vid pretty much applies--figuratively, hee. I don't think they're actually crackheads--to all TV writers/exec producers, as far as I'm concerned. Haha. "How did I get up in this treeeee?"<--continuityFAIL)

5. Who's in the mood for a survey? I haven't done one of those in a long, long time. I got this one from xmaidelx, and it's actually meant to include some kind of image-y thing as well, but I'm being lazy right now so I'm just going to answer the questions. Feel free to swipe this & answer it in your own journals too, if you'd like. ( bla bla bla )

For my Vid of the Day, I feel like throwing Parks & Recreation a little love. This one's by buffyfan357:

I know I said I'd continue my entry from yesterday, but it's too late for that right now. However, I wanted to at least post something for today, rather than getting more behind.

I didn't do all that much today, actually. I just hung out at my sister's, most of the afternoon and early evening. I felt a good, hard kick last night, while putting my hand on her belly, by the way. And felt the baby hiccupping, today. How cute is that?

Apparently, they have some new test with which they can find out whether you'll probably deliver within a week or whatever, and Corinne tested positive for it. Even though she still seemed to be dilated to just one. But they put her in the hospital tonight, and they're going to give her more drugs to try to stop the contractions, if possible. If they stop, then they'll let her leave after a couple days. And if not, well, Happy Birthday, Jaden!

Or perhaps I should say Jayden, because now Lance is saying he thinks it looks better that way. I liked it that way at first too, but then changed my mind, after I saw how most internet sites listed the "Jaden" spelling for boys. And now I'm just used to spelling it like that. Lance wants to do a poll, I guess, to see what everyone thinks. Not because he even cares what they all think, but because he thinks everyone will agree with him, and he wants to prove Corinne wrong. Hee. Freak. So, yeah, if you guys have an opinion, let me know. Which is better, and does Jaden look feminine or masculine to you? Ditto with Jayden.

Getting back to Corinne though, she started crying when they told her she had to come to the hospital. She hates hospitals, and drugs and stuff. And obviously she's worried about the baby. I feel like it's all going to be okay, but I don't really know whether that's true. I just hope my optimism turns out correct.

Other than that, I started trying to figure out which classes I want to take over the summer. I wrote down some possible ones, but wasn't able to go too far, since I couldn't look up my transcript online or anything (due to a financial hold, since I sorta, kinda never paid my bill. Heh. I'll have to do that tomorrow). I thought I had two more weeks, but I guess classes start Monday. D'oh!

The rest of my night was spent chatting with friends online, including Ms. Dosidella, whose AIM had basically been flipping us the bird for about the last five months or so, totally not working. Somehow, dosi must've sweet-talked it (or threatened it) enough for it to start up again. Which is very yay. I talked to the tinkinator too, which of course meant a Cute!War. A pretty brutal one, if I may say so myself. So, because we must take everyone else down with us, I'm posting it. Hee.

(Oh, and here's the Picture of the Day, before I do that: June 18th. Vancouver is across the Columbia River from Portland, in Washington. For those of you who don't know and all)

( Weapons of mass cuteness )

You know, every time I end up talking with willothewisps, I end up laughing. Our conversations are so insane. Case in point, the following:

( Just the two of us, we can make it if we try! )

Whenever I'm PMSing, I should just go back and reread funny IM conversations. Heh. Guaranteed quicker picker-upper. And yes, I do know that's a paper towel motto. Hush.

So, of course I have to share the cause for my amusement. Tink, get ready to feel special again. ( Click here to read more about me and tink's futures as crazy-talking tree-dwellers, and lots and lots of pick-up lines. )

( See? TV is educational! )</lj-cut

I'm still feeling really sad about Tabbers; I had a good, long cry over it last night. Or I suppose I should say this morning, since I stayed up until like seven. I feel like it's my fault, if she's dead. It shouldn't have mattered that we didn't have money, we should've figured out a way to get her the medication sooner, and stuck with it. I thought she was okay, though. I was stupid. I feel so bad about it.

I'm still hoping she'll come home, but Mom's totally given up hope now, basically. It's been four days. She did this sort of thing when Mickey was here, but she never used to, otherwise. It's not normal for her. I kept worrying over her lately too, because she's old, you know? Everytime I'd see her sleeping, I'd double check to make sure I could see her belly rising and falling, and that she was breathing. I don't know, it would be hard enough having her die now of old age (like, the thought that she's never coming back is so upsetting. I don't think people who haven't grown up with the same, one pet, could understand. Knowing that pet is there, every day, as a reliable source of happiness. Having their unconditional love, the way they purr--or wag their tail, in a dog's case--when they're happy, all of it. Just seeing the Christmas tree, and thinking that I won't be seeing her lie under it this year, won't be seeing her act like a kitten and start playing with the wrapping paper and bows on Christmas Eve, it's just too much.), but it's so much worse, because I feel like I could have prevented it, if she died because of her thyroid. God, I just feel horrible about it. Mom's already talking about wanting a new cat, but I don't want a new cat. Not now, anyway. Christ, we don't even know for sure that she won't come home yet. She's all "You two (Corinne and I) are in denial. She's not coming home." and it's like, let me have my denial then, would you? Damn, wait a couple months and give me time. Back off.

( Aside from missing my cat and feeling sad about it though, I'm feeling better today than most of the rest of the week. )

So, because I truly am the quientessential packrat, and will save everything and anything I can, I generally save most of my IM conversations that are even remotely interesting, right? Tonight, I was going through them, to find one to send to dosidella, who is also a crazy IM saver (I was sending one of ours, that she didn't save. Hee, how cute is it that she wanted me to send it to her, too?), and started reading some of the stuff, because I've been bored as Hell all night. Man, we are some funny bitches. Hee. I love us! And I love reading funny conversations between people, myself, so I figured I'd share the hilarity. Heh. ( Well, or at least the slight insanity, if nothing else. )