rachg82

As promised in my long-as-hell flocked post, here is the meme filledusoleil86 tagged me for[/ending with a preposition. WHAT].

( clicky )

For my Vid of the Day, I'll share another S-themed song. The Portland Rose Festival has begun--cue: sailors everywhere--so it's about that time, y'all:

I've already polished off the first two discs of season 1. Considering I slept 14 hours last night, & all of my TV watching was done before going to bed? That says a lot. It has been such a pleasure catching up on all the episodes I missed last year. THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD, Y'ALL. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating at all here. It makes me crack up so hard that I have to wipe actual tears from my eyes, & I frequently have to press rewind because I was laughing too loud to hear the next thing they said. It's just hysterical and so, so clever. Especially if you enjoy the use of meta, pop cultural references, & smart, quirky humor like I do.

Also: ( cut for flailing )

Moving on, I thought I'd share some pics with you guys. I noticed another flistmate post stuff from her scrapbook, and it made me remember the one I created as a teenager. It includes some of my happiest memories, and it's kind of a time capsule unto itself. Those of you who've known me since the meta boards (i.e. since this journal first started in '02) will remember some of these pics, since I posted them on the old yahoo meta photo album, but for the rest of you these will be mostly new.

Also, consider this a reminder, huh920, that I'm still stalking you. Heh. I want everyone to post pics, damn't.

( Scrapbook pics: Let's party like it's 1999 )

Before I go, I also came across a poem dosidella wrote & sent to me for my 21st birthday (a.k.a. in 2003), which was with my scrapbook but not pasted into it yet. For the sake of posterity, I thought I'd include it here as well. Best BFF ever, yo. ( excuse me while I get verklempt )

For my Vid of the Day, let's show some love to Troy. This one's by shoopdancer2504.

1. I'm hungry. Frankly, it's irritating me. Heh. juliedarling, you were right. I'm still on one Topamax per day, but omg STOMACH RUMBLINGS. WTF is THIS all about. Look, body, it's 3:30 in the morning (as I start this entry), you've already woken me up with a headache (which is at least now at bay, thanks to Excedrin), we both know there's no edible food in this apartment, so what do you expect me to do? Alchemy? THAT'S FOR METALS, STOMACH. Also, it doesn't exist. Make some sense, ye. *medieval rimshot* (Ahh, who doesn't love an oh-so-timely alchemy pun? No wonder I'm single.)

Okay, so I can acknowledge how unfair it is of me to expect my stomach to just ~not be hungry~ when all I had yesterday was a burrito & chips, but it still bugs me. Irrationally. Like, if I choose to eat, fine. But my body telling me to? Annoying. There should be a message system allowing you to tell it in no uncertain terms, "YOU'RE NOT GETTING FOOD UNTIL SUCH & SUCH TIME. STFU UNTIL THEN; I HAVE THINGS TO DO." Like a little keyboard that pops out of your stomach & then slides back in. Then your stomach can receive the message & be all, "Bitch is you crazy?" And you can be like, "Maybe I am, stomach, and MAYBE I AM."[/SNL Dog Show reference. Heh. Except that particular skit has a different variation of their usual "maybe I am" bit, but whatev. Close enough.]

(I do at least have peanut butter, though. That is seriously the depths of patheticness I've reached. To avoid passing out, I must dig peanut butter out of a jar with a plastic knife. OH YES, did I forget to mention? My actual knives are dirty. I do, however, have plastic knives. I AM SO LAZY, I WENT FOR THE PLASTIC ONE. Not only that, but I *bought* them so I wouldn't have to do dishes the other night. She shoots, she scores.)

At some point this weekend, I'm going to have to clean out my fridge (thar be monsters & expired milk) & go to the store. I also need to call my old friend/coworker to ask for directions to the call center where she works so I can apply there. Then I need to call the unemployment place about getting an extension (assuming I don't "luck out"--woo, meh--and get a job right off the bat where my friend works. You never know). In the midst of all this, I can practice *not* panicking & envisioning myself homeless or dead in the upcoming weeks (whatifIdon'tgetthebenefitswhatifIcan'tpaymybillswhatifwhatifwhatif, etc). I'm really not comfortable with the whole loss of control thing--it cannot be stressed enough. Deep breaths. I'm trying to joke through it, but I honestly am very anxious.

2. I've been too busy doing absolutely nothing to write my Bones review yet. Well, there was some sleep in there too, and going through my room trying to find things. That was uber exciting (not really). I'll try to have it up this weekend, though. For now I'll just say that I loved it. I don't know anyone who didn't, heh. Like, hello, obvious statements are obvious. (as a sneak-peek/random aside, however: this was my reaction to Booth in the diner scene. Hahaha. Don't worry, though, he more than made up for the transgression throughout the rest of the ep!)

3. I need to get back to writing my fic. Hopefully the new hiatus (oy, with the hiatuses already) gives me the motivation. I haven't felt very motivated for *anything* lately. I think stress is blocking me. I get this way when I'm really worried about something that's unresolved. I feel like I can't do anything until it's over. It just like OWNS me. But at the same time, the idea of calling my friend/the unemployment agency/etc is also overwhelming. So I'm stuck in this AGHHHHH-state of "omg just knock me unconscious." Hence why nothing is accomplished. Not dishes, not laundry, not anything. I'm just fucking frozen. There is *too much to do* & I don't know what to do first & I can't THINK & aeaiohgoihgh. Too many things *hanging*, metaphorically. Like quicksand, surrounding me. It's so, so hard. I know the ways to deal with it--take everything bit by bit--but that doesn't make it not hard. It's like there's too much information in there ("in there" being my stupid brain), and sometimes I just need a reset button--something to wipe it clean. An aide to walk me through things step by tiny, meticulous, super-thorough step. Ugh. It's exhausting. Like, "Okay, Rachael. We're gonna make dinner now. I know we need to do the dishes first. I KNOW. First this section. Okay, now this section. Breathe, breathe. All right, so you'll have to wash that pan by hand or wait to cook until the dishes are done. I'll help you make that decision, too. Yes, I understand you were already breathing--that's not what I meant. Diaphragmatic breathing, Rachael. What? The pan has mold? Now you want to throw it out? Oh, Jesus. Okay, let's logically weigh the pros & cons of making something that doesn't require a pan, including its most likely lower nutritional value based on the limited options of what you're willing to eat vs. going to the store to buy a new pan & how much estimated time that will take--including the walk there + the shopping--added to the time it takes to cook, added to how hungry you are, added to how much money it will cost. No, skipping dinner entirely in a meltdown-esque fit of obstinate pouting is not an option." WELCOME TO MY LIFE, FOLKS. Let's not even get into what it's like to cook with me. Everything is a freaking ~operation~. "At exactly what intervals of time do I flip the burger? I NEED EXACT INTERVALS."

4. I enjoy peanut butter. Just felt like sharing that with you all. Also, it's now 5 am. I am very wordy. Ha.

In other news: I found my old private journal from August of 2001 through May of 2002, today. A long time ago, I'd typed up the entries on here & backdated them, but later I deleted the whole thing + I eventually misplaced the journal in RL as well. All I had left were a few excerpts from my 2002 Year in Review post, which in a way is like reading the ending to a story without the beginning. I actually sat down this afternoon & read through all of it. I'd like to have something ~thoughtful~ & indepth to say about it, but right now I don't yet. I might later, maybe even type some of it up again, I don't know. You know how sometimes something hits you in a way where you can't say much of anything about it? It's just too deep? I guess I just forgot how much I went through. It's actually making me cry right now, which I didn't expect. ( Looks like I do have a few thoughts )

5. Aaand it's now 6 am. JEEZ, I TAKE FOREVER WITH THESE THINGS--probably because I keep getting detoured by YouTube and what-not. Anyway. I do have one more thing before I go (and before the VotD, of course). While I was looking through my room yesterday--and found the aforementioned journal--I also found a few other old things. Sometimes being a packrat comes in handy, yo. Did you know I have a (until now totally forgotten) dolphin ring like Brennan? HA. SERIOUSLY. ( Pictures for proof. Also: bunch o' sentimental funtimez (bet you wish you had a My Little Pony wallet, don't you?) )

For my VotD, I have an INCREDIBLY good Kara vid by MadnessoftheDivine to share. It's like a work of art, gah. I can't even. THIS FUCKING SHOW, Y'ALL. If you aren't already onboard, watch this vid. That's all I have to say.

Well, hello there, January 27th. We meet again.

Once, I looked like this:

( Hey, what the crap? Rachael's blonde! )

That was a fun waste of time, eh? Ha. I so need to get my ass in the shower/do laundry/eat/bla bla bla, too. I slept in absurdly late today (like, 3 pm, late. And only got up then because my alarm was set). In my defense, however, I accidentally missed picking up my refill of Topiramate (my migraine medication) yesterday, therefore missing a dose, and it totally threw me off. That is *not* the kind of thing you stop suddenly. I could not fall asleep last night for the life of me, particularly because my heart was all race-y & I'd heard a side effect of sudden discontinuation could be seizures, even if you don't have epilepsy (its original purpose was as an anti-epilepsy drug & is still used for that too), so I was all, "OMG, I DON'T WANT TO FALL ASLEEP & HAVE A SEIZURE.[/irrational thinking] I've heard there's drooling involved, which would be most unpleasant. Also, I haven't finished my fanfic yet, so I'm not ready to die yet, in case that's a possibility." Ha. Seriously, MY BRAIN, folks. But, hey, at least my reaction was that I *didn't* want to die! That's something!

Not to worry, I picked up the refill first thing this morning, then came home & passed out. Heh. IMAGINARY SEIZURE AVOIDED. Yay. (Cut me slack--I was fairly OCD as a kid & I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. If you tell me, "don't stop taking this suddenly," I'm gonna freak out if I accidentally screw that up. At least I don't feel the need to write down if I take things like aleve anymore; I used to do that, worrying I'd somehow "forget" I'd taken it & then overdose on it or something by not allowing a full 24 hours in between. Dun dun DUN. *rolls eyes*)

In other news, I started my day with barf. OF COURSE. I'm just gonna consider it symbolic & a representation of me releasing my past. Let's go with that. Sounds better than "I am uber stressed & holidays have horrible associations for me & ugh ugh ugh ugh UGH."

It's okay. I made use of my time last night--once realizing I had missed getting my refill & was gonna be up climbing the walls anyway--writing my fic. The ending is forming itself in my mind now & I'm beginning to feel really pleased with the whole thing. Holla. I can't decide if I want to wait to watch tonight's episode until after finishing it though. I have the feeling I'm really close to being done--like, might finish it tomorrow or the next day-done--or if I should watch it & let it possibly become incorporated into the story, in case anything happens that alters the plot or characterization. I think you guys know by now that, while writing, I get everything sort of just *laid out in my head*, and it frankly annoys me & frays my nerves when anything comes along to cause a deviation from that path. Ha. Like, the nerve! Of a TV show! Thinking it can do things with its own storylines! Whatev to that.

OH, and before I forget: a huge, huge thank you to everyone for their Birthday wishes/greetings/love so far. Especially crystalcazzie for the chocolates (that was SUCH a nice surprise!), dosidella for the book (thanks again, sweetie), vash26 for the message, and sonneta for the vgift. I'll try to reply individually to everyone soon, but in the meantime, I love & appreciate all of you so, so much.

P.S. HAPPY BONES DAY! Haha. In my haste to finish my fic, I kind of forgot about that. Tonight's episode actually looks really good. After all the angst & handwringing, I'm ready for some shootin'! LET IT OUT, BITCHES!

Vid of the Day:

Oh, Modern Family. Oh, Cam. Oh, Mitch. Oh, ALL OF YOU. "Sweet Valley High!"

And might I say, God bless the fact that I didn't jump on board the Psych express until only recently, because it means I constantly get to watch reruns on USA like they're brand new episodes. Just sayin'. It had me laughing so hard last night I literally had to wipe tears from my eyes. The one where they prove Gus' parents are innocent? The tell-tale heart? The rocking chair? "Normaaaan!" I was DYING.

Except apparently one of them was new-ish; I'd just missed it somehow. "The Polarizing Express", i.e. the 2010 Christmas episode. How did I manage to miss that?! Either way, loved it. It had a chocolate snowman Gus! And giant lactose-free milk! I mean, really.

Interrupting this TV lovefest for, um, more TV: guess what comes back in exactly two weeks, guys? BONES. Sound the trumpets. Gather the troops. What troops, you say? Duh, the hard liquor soft drinks & snacks, obviously. We're gonna need somethin' to get us through the rest of this season, you know. In my case it'll be rocking & pacing.

. . .just kidding. Probably.

Actually, in all seriousness, I have the feeling things will be fine between our beloved duo before too long. Heh. But it's fun to be overdramatic, especially when so much of the fandom is that way for real.[/said with love]

Years ago, during the brief golden era when my sister and I got along & were friends, we used to have a joke about overdramatic people who always thought the world was ending (you know the type). Every time we'd spot one (or if either of us was acting that way about something), we'd put on our old man voices and go, "BUT WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WHEN THE BANKS FAIL?!" I don't even remember where it came from, but it was hilarious. Fandom makes me think of that old man voice sometimes. Ha.

Anyway, enough about TV. As for why my mood says "discontent," I don't actually feel like going deeply into it right now (I might later, we'll see), but it involves the dreams I've been having, which--if last night is any indicator--are getting increasingly disturbing. Maybe I can buy a family-issues-specific dreamcatcher to hang over my bed.

At least it got me up before noon today, though! Hey, bright side.

What I *would* like to do right now is my 1994 soundtrack. Awww yeah.

( Jump in your way-back machines, y'all. It's about to get flannel-y up in here. )

And that's it, folks! HELL OF A LOT OF SONGS, EH? (when did I become Canadian?)

No Vid of the Day today, because, seriously. I might break LiveJournal.

1. Choosing my icon today, it made me think of the BSG Kobol arc, and I seriously just couldn't help but laugh. Oh, Roslin. You're just so frakking bad-ass. "Oh, what's that? You won't return to Caprica? No problem. I'll just turn your surrogate daughter against you & have her go. Suck on that, homes. Wait, what's this now? You think you're gonna throw me in the brig & start a coup? HA. I wish you would! P.S. Send in your son when you leave, 'kay?"

Moral of the story, boys & girls? Don't make Mommy & Daddy mad. Haha. PEOPLE DIE.

2. Why must we wait until January 20th for new Bones? Not cool. You know what else isn't cool? The non-stop migraine I've had for almost a week now. Which, considering my head hurts every day anyway, isn't that strange. But this one is extra joyful & it WON'T GO AWAY FOR EVEN A MINUTE. Someone, please, stab me in my left eye with a fork. It would feel better, I assure you.

God, I hate hormones. (yes, I just wrapped up that time of the month. There's a reason for the exacerbated funtimes.<--and I do apologize for the bitching, btw. I have a very high pain tolerance, but sometimes I still need to whine. I am human after all. It fucking hurts, UGH. I feel pukey.)

3. Remember the Year in Review picture collage I mentioned? Well, I did it. I even finally got around to downloading GIMP & everything (I haven't had any photo editing software since the virus. I've just been using photobucket for icons if you can believe it<---and a mother cries in the ghettooooo[/sings] Ha). Unfortunately, I still had to use photobucket when it came to uploading the file, and the collage ended up too big for their size limits. So I had to cut it into three sections first, which annoyed me to no end (I didn't plan it that way & now it looks funny! Grr, argh.) Oh well. I'll share it anyway. It's still pretty! Also, it was uber fun to put together, as I included not only photos but also icons & random macros/etc from picspams & what-not. I totally recommend doing the same if you guys have time.

( 2010: Year in Pictures )

4. I did more job-hunting last night and this is all I have to say: *ties imaginary noose around head* YEAH. Seriously. As if it's not enough fun forcing oneself to apply for jobs you KNOW you'll hate, but then to also be forced to fill out tedious/headdesk-inducing applications despite having already provided your resume on top of that? Whyyyyyyy.

Afterward, I admit I was left feeling vaguely pointlessly stressed & I still haven't totally kicked the feeling. You know that sort of aimless anxiety/sadness that comes around & just *hangs*? And it's like, look, depression, I'm doing my best here. Can you just eff off? There's no 'i' in team! It gets worse for me too, because I stress when I don't know WHY I'm stressed (like an ouroboros of neuroses), all "Must fix! What do I doooooo", and I'll just sit there & try to figure out my whole life in five minutes like that's somehow gonna happen. Which of course it never does. Oh, Rachael.

5. keenai recommended a song to me yesterday, saying it made her think of me, and it made me feel all fuzzy & loved inside so I figured I'd share. ( Aww, Mary J. Blige, I wuv you )

My Vid of the Day comes from ChemAttraction and is all about Kara & Leoben. Automatically, you know that means it's going to be some intense & dark shiznit. Neckstabby goodtimes FTW! Aw yeah.

My scale has randomly stopped working. ( cut for talk of weight issues )

I keep having the most vivid dreams lately. Last night, I dreamt I was in a room with an African civet cat, except for some reason it was all black like a panther or jaguar (which is sort of strangely noteworthy, based on my spirit animal supposedly being either of those. Remember that shaman-led meditation thingie from my women's studies class back in the day? Wacky goodtimes). I got too close to it & it attacked me. 5brokenfingers was suddenly there (way to hijack my subconscious, Dani!) & was all "Oh, I love civet cats! The trick is to leave them alone. Just let it be." So I spent the rest of the time sort of just waltzing around it, shadowing its movements all Tai Chi-style, and it worked. It was still clearly a wild animal, but y'know, no more claws up in my grill, so that was cool.

The symbolism is pretty obvious. Sometimes, you've got to coexist with your emotions (i.e. let them do their thing vs. try to grab onto/control them)--even when they feel wild--or they will frak you up all the more. Also: don't piss off a metaphorical spirit animal. It will shrink itself into a civet cat and attack your face.

It's hard for me, I admit. ( Three big reasons )

Seeing as I need to start bustin' a move on cleaning & what-not (before dradiscontact arrives on Thursday), I figured I'd just share the rest of the poetry I found now, in one fell swoop. It's only a few anyway. ( Buckle in, folks. We're goin' on a ride down Poetry Lane. )

For my Vid of the Day, I'm gonna share an old hip-hop fave of mine. One of the reasons I'm drawn to rap so much is because it so often is all about suffering and perseverance. It represents the underdog, the survivor, the imperfect fighter who just wants to be HAPPY & is still a little touchy & defensive from a lifetime of pain. It's no coincidence that they rap about death so much--half the time, I believe a lot of them *wish* they were dead (Biggie does after all have a song titled Suicidal Thoughts. Hello). Between my upbringing, with my own history of depression & being surrounded by insanity & addiction, and some of the kids I knew growing up, I can relate, despite not coming even remotely close to growing up in the projects. (my childhood influences were random, income-wise. My dad had money, my grandparents had money, and I lived in an apartment that was decent enough because of child support. But I had friends in my same complex on welfare and government food while also having friends up the road who owned their own man-made lakes. RANDOM. When my bf Kim--the heroin-addicted one--moved to the east side, I became friends with her friend Sara, who was in the 13 street gang--she wasn't hispanic, but she was Sioux Indian & that was close enough for that area--& who intentionally got pregnant at 14 so she could ease out of the lifestyle without being killed, and so she could "have someone to love [her]." Bear in mind this was after knowing another girl at twelve who was pregnant for her third time--she'd already had one miscarriage & an abortion--with her 19 yr old boyfriend, and her mom didn't even care. So, yes. I was exposed to a lot, despite living in the 'burbs. Pop music sometimes just doesn't cut it. After knowing girls like that, you understand that Brenda's Got a Baby isn't exaggerating.

Anyway, enough blathering. On with the song.

1. I enjoy the fact that I'm drinking Diet Coke as I write this. (see: subject heading.) Oh, irony. You're not just a fly in my Chardonnay after all.

I also enjoy utilizing quotes so random they necessitate a trail of breadcrumbs dropped in my mind for others to understand their meaning. Is that weird?

2. Remember the cab driver who friended me on Facebook? He told me I was pretty the other day. Ruh-roh! WHY CAN'T PEOPLE I LIKE FIND ME ATTRACTIVE?

I totally just ignored him, btw. Haha. Err. And then continued talking about the myth of Narcissus with my friend. Y'know, as one does.[/awkward]

3. I ate twice the other day--can I get an "and what"? Thank you. *brushes dirt off her shoulders* Of course I didn't manage it yesterday or today, but hey, points for effort. Figures now my stomach is reacting to the shitfest stress-o-rama that is my life by bringing on the ole' cha-cha-cha (i.e. time to reach for the immodium). SUPER helpful when it comes to encouraging me to eat, lemme tell you. WHATEVER, UNIVERSE. Or, really, whatever, "brain", I should say. That's the true d-bag in this case, when you get right down to it.

4. Just over 5,100 words written in my fic, ladies and. . .well, ladies. (Dang, remember when livejournal had gents?) I've only got about two more sections to go, and I plan to burn the midnight oil if I have to--this puppy WILL be done before tomorrow night's episode. There'll be no preview clips watched or fanfics read otherwise until then, as I don't want anything influencing/interfering with my already preexisting ideas & interpretations. Like, "NO, I know what I'm writing & THAT'S IT." Haha. Sure, sure, I could keep writing after tomorrow. I know. BUT NO. I DON'T WANNA. Viva le resistance![/crazy person]

In other words: once I plan something, I'm not easily deterred. Especially since it's so ~perfect~, you know? With it being a winter finale? And me being done with my fanfic at the same time? SO CLEAN & COMPLETE. My borderline OCD tendencies will be all abuzz. Ha.

5. I'm feeling random today, so I figured I'd deliver some random-style entertainment to y'all. I waste a lot of time on facebook, having incredibly absurd conversations, and I frequently wish I could save some of them like IM messages. Finally, after a particularly ridic interaction I had earlier this week, I decided to simply take some screencaps for posterity (last names blacked out, Big Brother-style, though I'm not sure if it really matters as I'm leaving one uncensored that's a fake name. But whatever. Real last names are different seeming to me).

Also, I came across some old artwork of mine from my teenage days, and threw that in too. Good times!

( Enjoy the funsies )

Aiiight, now, back to my fic so I can hammer this baby out. THE DAY IS MINE, TREBEK. (um, sorry, I've been watching a lot of YouTube & Hulu clips this week. . .and, yeah. I'm gonna go away now.)

My Vid of the Day is inspired by the Facebook conversation shared above. Blame 5brokenfingers for my association with this guy, as he's her boyfriend (with whom she is by the way a super cute match, hee. They ride through fields of daisies in rickshaws together--it's a thing). Seriously, when I mention that Portland is a city of weirdos? I'm not kidding. We are all complete & utter freaks.

Case in point:

Hey guys. Sorry for the sudden absence & I hope I didn't worry people by being gone so long. I plan to do a much larger entry to get everyone caught up soon-ish (just depending on when I can focus on it. I've got a killer stomach-ache at the moment & it's totally distracting me. ARGH), but in the meantime I wanted to at least post about the anniversary of 9/11 today. It's kind of insane to me that as of next year it'll have been ten years since it happened, and it's fascinating how everyone has their own memories and experiences of that day. All I can do is speak for myself of course, but through my eyes it changed everything. The decade was shaped by it. And I think it's important to stop & remember how that day affected each of us as a person, and all of us as a society. Culturally, psychologically, you name it.

I was 19 in 2001, and I think it would be difficult to convey to those of you who were only perhaps 11 or younger at the time how iconic the twin towers were for Americans who grew up seeing them standling tall in the New York skyline. Looking at NYC after 9/11 was like looking at a gaping wound, and I still feel that way to this day. It's like something is missing, but can never be recovered.

With tragedy like this, I think people tend to get caught up in politics, anger, rhetoric, and all sorts of other ways of distancing themselves from the immediate pain of what happened. As far as I'm concerned, I don't think for one second that the majority of us who were exposed to the events of that day have let go of what occurred, and that's why encouraging people to stop & talk about it today is so needed. Not to exploit, not to wallow, but to heal.

For me, when this anniversary comes around, I'm hit by memories: sitting on the couch, glued to the news, tears streaming down my face; people leaping out of flaming windows; crowds covered in ash running; strangers crying & hugging each other; desperate pictures of the missing held up for cameras; the dead priest being carried out by solemn firemen; the search dogs who had to be given fake searches with live people to look for because they became depressed after finding nothing but dead bodies for hours; office papers fluttering in the sky & melted messenger bikes. . .the list goes on.

After that day, nothing was the same. It was like an earthquake with aftershocks felt all the way across the country, across the world. But it's the details, the small memories, that are at the root of that. It wasn't just the tragedy, it was the reactions. The people who carried each other down flights of stairs to safety, the firemen, the policemen, those who kept running back in over & over to save more people. Everyone around the world who came together in mourning & solidarity. It's the memory of walking down my street in the days immediately after & not seeing a single house without a flag on the door. Not with the kind of asshole "I'm a REAL American!" xenophobic spirit we see amongst so many now, but with a "We're all in this together" sort of unity. People's hearts were in the right place. That day, in a nutshell, was like the worst & best of humanity all mashed together and caught on film.

It's so easy to forget now how real that day was, how many people are still walking around with missing loved ones, how the people on the four planes must've felt, how many last-minute goodbyes were made by cell phone when it was just supposed to be another workday, and how many people in this country didn't just face the events of that day via the news like I did but actually witnessed it firsthand. In the grand scheme of things, it's just another tragedy amongst many--there've been so many others in this world--but there's no competition here & that doesn't make it any less affecting. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think it's important to look back. Not just for the memory of those lost, but for the people who mourn them, for the society that was changed, and for the part of all of us that will never be the same.

For my Vid of the Day, I'm going to post two very different vids. First is a tribute to the memories of that day, and second is what I think of as a love song to the city of New York. Life, as they say, goes on. We ♥ you, Big Apple.