(no subject)

[rachg82]

Whenever I'm PMSing, I should just go back and reread funny IM conversations. Heh. Guaranteed quicker picker-upper. And yes, I do know that's a paper towel motto. Hush.

So, of course I have to share the cause for my amusement. Tink, get ready to feel special again.

rachmarieg: you've got a stalker!
TinkNGiles: I do! She wants to be me and she wants my boyfriend
TinkNGiles: It soooo SWF
rachmarieg: haha, i was about to say that
rachmarieg: watch as she shows up, dressed like you, with your hair cut, one day
TinkNGiles: SHE HAS DONE THAT!
rachmarieg: "what's the matter, colleen? don't you like my new look?"
TinkNGiles: She always copies my haircut
rachmarieg: cree-py!
TinkNGiles: I finally wore it back every time I saw her for months so she couldnt see how long I was growing it out
TinkNGiles: now my hair is mid-tit and hers is all short! HAHAHA
rachmarieg: ha! you got your revenge at last
TinkNGiles: damn right I did
rachmarieg: you're going to have to enter the witness protection program
TinkNGiles: I am! I need a cool name. Do I get to pick the name?
rachmarieg: sure!
rachmarieg: make it good
TinkNGiles: Ariel for my first name
TinkNGiles: something french and cool sounding for my last name
TinkNGiles: hmm
rachmarieg: Boudreau
rachmarieg: Boudreaux, actually
rachmarieg: right?
TinkNGiles: I don't know how to prounonce that. hehe
TinkNGiles: I want something like DeFLeur
rachmarieg: boo-droh. droh like dough
rachmarieg: it was the last name of one of the chicks in sweet valley university. hee
TinkNGiles: haha
TinkNGiles: I should dye my hair red and get contacts
TinkNGiles: Ohh I'll come move into your neighborhood
rachmarieg: yay!
rachmarieg: i don't like my neighbors, anyway. let's replace 'em!
TinkNGiles: yeah!
rachmarieg: sweeeeeet
TinkNGiles: I'll move in and we'll have Cute! Parades!
rachmarieg: hee! we'll go to the toy stores, and baby shops, and torture each other
TinkNGiles: eventually we would have our own secret language and move into the woods and only communicate with each other and live in a tree
rachmarieg: ha! we'd be all nell/jodie foster about it
TinkNGiles: hee! yay you got my reference
TinkNGiles: tray in da wiiiiiiin
rachmarieg: ha! i was trying to remember one of her words.
rachmarieg: chicabay!
TinkNGiles: misses chicka pay tray in da wiin
rachmarieg: hee. i used to say that all the time
TinkNGiles: i did too! Whee! Just the two of us
rachmarieg: hee! i'm picturing us dancing around like mini me and dr evil now
rachmarieg: you have an "E. Diddy" tattoo on your ass
TinkNGiles: Hee! yes I do

. . .

TinkNGiles: Your rabbit wants a hug!
TinkNGiles: Sneak Attack!
TinkNGiles: Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
rachmarieg: heh! suddenly the sneak attack is followed by cheesy pick-up lines?
TinkNGiles: yes
rachmarieg: you know, that shirt is very becoming on you. of course, if i were on you, i'd be-cumming too!
rachmarieg: haha
TinkNGiles: What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
rachmarieg: is your dad a baker? cuz you got a nice set of buns
TinkNGiles: Wow! Are those real?
rachmarieg: nice shoes, wanna fuck?
rachmarieg: hee
TinkNGiles: hee! my favorite
rachmarieg: do you wash your pants with windex? because i can see myself in them
TinkNGiles: Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
rachmarieg: girl, do your feet hurt? because you've been running through my mind all day
TinkNGiles: Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
rachmarieg: oh, i've never heard that one before. score
TinkNGiles: sweet!
rachmarieg: heaven must be crying, because they lost an angel when you were born
TinkNGiles: I had your sister last year, she sucked. Wanna defend your family honor?
rachmarieg: ha!
rachmarieg: good one
rachmarieg: probably wouldn't work too well as a pickup line, though
TinkNGiles: I must admit I am getting these from a site
rachmarieg: you are? for shame!
TinkNGiles: :-[
rachmarieg: mine are from memory. now i don't feel ashamed for not remembering more
TinkNGiles: hehe
rachmarieg: i'm all "damn! i'm out"
TinkNGiles: www.linesthataregood.com
TinkNGiles: I got the site from Smile
TinkNGiles: You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno
TinkNGiles: best line ever- If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
rachmarieg: haha. that is not exactly a great compliment
rachmarieg: ha! i would laugh if a guy said that to me. probably let him buy me a drink, just because it was so bad
TinkNGiles: hehe. I like that line
TinkNGiles: Hey baby... you got any diseases? Want some?
rachmarieg: Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
TinkNGiles: hehe!
TinkNGiles: I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
rachmarieg: Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
TinkNGiles: You look like my mommy. I like my mommy.
rachmarieg: Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
TinkNGiles: HEE!
rachmarieg: Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat
TinkNGiles: Ever seen the movie "Fear"?
rachmarieg: nope
TinkNGiles: hee that was the line
rachmarieg: oh, hee!
rachmarieg: If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning
TinkNGiles: i'ts a creepy movie where the boyfriend goes nuts and stalkery
rachmarieg: i've seen parts
rachmarieg: I'm gonna have sex with you tonight, so you might as well be there
TinkNGiles: One day there was a bird. This was a magical bird that sang all day. It had many jolly frolicking happy prancing friends that sang songs of joy and happiness. Whenever they flew by the flowers they became happy too. Then everything died. Now doesn't that just turn you on?
rachmarieg: ha!
rachmarieg: NOW, BITCH!
rachmarieg: haha
TinkNGiles: I want you to have my children. In fact, you can have them right now, they're out in the car.
rachmarieg: The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word
TinkNGiles: haha this kid in high school said that to everone all the time
rachmarieg: I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long!
TinkNGiles: HA!
TinkNGiles: Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
rachmarieg: Hi my name is (your name), did I mention I have a penis.
rachmarieg: Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.
TinkNGiles: Free mammograms, get your free mammograms here, get 'em while they're hot!
TinkNGiles: eww hehe
rachmarieg: I know where there is a good party, they've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear
rachmarieg: HAHA
rachmarieg: took me a min. lick-her, poke-her
TinkNGiles: heh
TinkNGiles: You know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo
rachmarieg: I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in
TinkNGiles: eww hehe
TinkNGiles: Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."
TinkNGiles: Do you take it up the ass?
rachmarieg: (walk up to the bar and sit down in the seat next to them. While looking at them, order a drink and drink it down) Well, we can't fuck here!
TinkNGiles: Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
TinkNGiles: Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck... (wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?
rachmarieg: I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.
TinkNGiles: haha
TinkNGiles: Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
rachmarieg: i've already read those! i'm at the bottom of that page, now
rachmarieg: Do you train cats? (No, why?) Because you just made my pussy cum!
TinkNGiles: hee. I like this page. DId you read the pizza one?
rachmarieg: not yet
rachmarieg: pizza? do you mean the cheese one?
TinkNGiles: Show me your pussy!
TinkNGiles: it was something like "want a pizza and a fuck? (slap) Whats the matter dont you like pizza!?"
rachmarieg: heh
rachmarieg: oh, right. i skimmed that one. okay, i thought you meant there was a pizza category
TinkNGiles: I have to go to bed now but I just have to leave you with this...
TinkNGiles: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let's go fuck!
rachmarieg: hee. night!
TinkNGiles: night!

Hee, I would laugh so hard if someone ever said any of those lines to me.

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*does the dance of specialness*