rachg82: (Adama/Roslin Oath kiss)
I don't think I've mentioned this here yet, but [livejournal.com profile] dosidella recently linked me to this site, which allows you to play old-school games like Dr. Mario & Donkey Kong online legally for free (no downloading required). I figured more than a few of you would be interested. So!

In other news:

-Rizzoli & Isles continues to be the gayest thing to ever happen to me. I'm saying. Gayer than my on-again, off-again WTFship with Amy. Gayer than RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo. Gayer than Ms. Jay teaching you how to smize. Gayer than all six seasons of The L Word, including that time Dana took a hit of acid and danced around on stage with Tegan & Sara. Okay, maybe not THAT gay, but pretty effing gay nonetheless )

-I don't have anything to say about Psych, Community, or Parks & Rec this week except to give all-around gold stars.

-Revenge is the crackiest shit that ever cracked.

-I'm still watching Castle, and I enjoyed it this week, though it made me wrack my brain trying to remember the name of the XF fic I read way back when which started out basically the same way. Oh, interwebz.

-Bones )

-I was thinking it'd be fun to do a poll here asking people to choose which three eps they'd use to introduce a newb to the fandom(s) of their choice, but then it was like -- um, I don't know what shows you'd pick or how much room you'd need for your answers. And then of course I could pick the shows, which is what I'm about to do, but creating a real, actual poll for that kind of dealio sounds like a lot of work. And see my mood icon? Right.

So, instead, here's a list of shows (I'm limiting myself to ten). You can share your answers in the comments (and feel free to add new fandoms of your own):

-Bones
-X Files
-Battlestar Galactica
-Buffy
-Angel
-Gilmore Girls
-My So-Called Life
-Community
-Parks & Rec
-Psych

I'll share my choices in my next entry, obviously.

In RL news:

-I made home-made GF mac & cheese tonight, and it was pretty dang good. If you'd handed it to me without telling me it was GF, I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

-Similarly, the GF rigatoni I had with B earlier this week tasted great as well. This is a big hoo-ray thing for me, because up until now I hadn't been able to find any good rice-based noodles, and it was very tragic.

-Aside from the cooking, I've been super lacking in motivation this week. One of those ~I don't want to do anything, say anything, move my body, or think~ situations. Where it's all you can do to get your dishes done, drag yourself to the store, etc. Like, writing this entry is an accomplishment. I missed my appointment with my psych today (though I'm still seeing my counselor tomorrow), spent a lot of time in bed for no reason, took forever to do anything or go anywhere, and yeah. I just feel stressed, I guess. And it's adding to the depression, so that sucks. I think I'm nervous about talking to my sister as well, especially after I reread the email she sent me (from when our uncle died) while I was working on my Year in Review post this week. It's like -- how much could she have changed in five or six months? And what caused her to change? How do I know she doesn't still feel that way underneath it all? How do I know it's not LIKELY she'll say that kind of stuff to me again soon? I'm going to talk to my counselor about it tomorrow, but in the meantime it's weighing on me.

And I think that's it. For my Vid of the Day, here's a lighthearted one by TaraGel:

rachg82: (Made of win)
1. A very Happy Birthday to my long-time lurker friend, [livejournal.com profile] tenik. If you're reading this, bb, I hope you have a great day!

2. Good news: I got the job. I'll be starting next Monday at $14/hr, which, for those keeping track, is the most I've ever made by one whole dollar. My schedule will be Monday - Friday, 8 am - 4:30 pm. I'm relieved I have a few days to prepare -- y'know, get my sleep schedule in order, figure out things to bring for lunch, see my counselor on Friday, and drag my ass shopping & then to the cleaners (to inevitably have whatever slacks I buy hemmed five thousand inches). Fortunately, my temp agency pays weekly; I just need to do some math & determine how much I can give my manager for rent this month & talk with her about it.

3. I clearly suck at being a girl these days, because the mere prospect of venturing into a mall has me already exhausted, and I haven't even jumped in the shower yet. Heh. Especially since I know I need to find a pair of boots as well--long overdue--and I HATE shoe shopping. Haaaate. (Size 4 feet FTW! Except not.) Though I do like the idea of searching for something cute to wear in general; I really haven't had the ability to do that in a long time. I don't have very much to spend though, but I also don't have much of a choice. I have to get SOMETHING. You can't wear jeans there, except on Fridays, and it's getting too cold to pull off open-toed sandals. I'm going to try on some of my old work tops first though as a few of them might still fit. We'll see.

P.S. I wanted to thank everyone again for their support over the last two months (I can't btw freaking believe it's already been almost two months since I lost that job. I swear to God, this entire year has been a blur. Like, ridiculously so. It's almost unreal. Mostly all I can see when I look back at 2011 is a giant fog of depression, which is saying a lot after the Good Times Bonanza of 2010). It really means so much to me. Things could've gone very differently. And I'm by no means ~out of the woods~, but I have hope that I'm going in the right direction again. I mean, I'm trying, so by that fact alone, it's right. In the end, that's all I can do.

4. I'm still working on that Stress List, and I cleaned off my desk, table, and bedroom dresser last night. Lots o' dust, that's all I can say. It feels right now like I'll never get my bedroom floor clear (so many clothes, ugh), but eventually I know I will. Little by little. Goodwill's gonna get a big donation, as will the Food Bank (I have quite a few non-expired canned goods & such with gluten in them. They're no good to me now). It'll feel good to give back, especially so soon after I needed to use a food pantry myself.

5. It seems like I should talk about TV. I'm feeling lazy though, but here goes:

Parenthood )

Castle )

Hawaii Five-O )

That's all for now. I'll have a lot more TV stuff to talk about by tomorrow night, I'm sure. New Psych, Community, Parks & Rec, AND Bones. Hollaaaa.

30 song challenge: Day 17 )
rachg82: (mulder/scully foreheads)
1. Why must Livejournal keep changing the font for posting? I don't approve, sir.

2. I also don't approve of the liquid-hot mag-ma (and the sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their freakin' heads, obviously[/Dr. Evil moment]) churning throughout my stomach, nor whatever the eff it is I did to my back this week (maybe carrying heavy groceries home? Jesus, I'm getting old). It's seriously the kind of pain that makes you want to run into walls, flailing, all, "JUST KNOCK ME OUT." As an alternative to that, I've sort of just been spazzily rocking back & forth, bouncing my leg, & breathing like a Tibetan monk. Y'know, as one does. Ugh. Aleve & Pepto are not really cutting it, can I just say.

3. Somehow I have managed to apply for a handful of jobs though, plus I walked to two different temp agencies today. I have an interview for one tomorrow (they'll probably be the most promising); the second place did an interview with me already (less promising). On a bizarre note, I took a drug test while I was there, and she said it came up positive for meth. Whaaaat in the actual fuck. I was like, "Uhh, no. Not even." I had to tell her the medications I'd taken recently, which didn't even include cold meds (those could explain it, if I had), but she looked up Cymbalta & said she found info indicating it can cause a false positive. So she marked it down as negative in my file. It makes me feel nervous though for future tests. I really hope it's not the medication doing it, and that it was just an error on her part. I've never taken a urine test before where it wasn't run in a lab, so I didn't trust her process much. Also: I looked it up when I got home & didn't find anything conclusive in regards to anti-depressants & false positives, only a bunch of anecdotal stuff. Now of course I'm paranoid it's a kidney infection or something that's causing it, like, "My back *does* hurt! Dun dun DUN." Whatever, brain, God.

4. Meanwhile my stress levels are RIDIC. I don't even have five bucks to my name, and I wish I were kidding. At least I have food, but still. STILL. My phone, internet, & power are all about a hot second from getting cut off. Rent for November is…yeah. I can't even ealihgigh. Where's that wall again? I'd like to run into it now.

You guys have already helped me so much, and I certainly don't expect anyone to help now if they aren't comfortable with it/aren't able, but I'm pretty desperate at the moment, so I'm going to post the link to my PayPal account again in the hopes I can gather at least enough to pay half my rent for November & some of my bills:



5. I realized a flaw in my plan to look for a job as a nanny again -- it was my nephew I used to watch, so it'd be my sister that people might want to call when checking that out. And it's not that I think she'd be so petty as to lie & say I was bad or something; it's more so that I'd worry about the fallout later, personally. Her emails still go straight into spam, but you just never know. Plus what if she got that call & started going off to my mom or my grandma or whomever about how I haven't seen Jayden or Isabella in almost a year but now I'm gonna ~go watch other people's kids~ & what a horrible person I am & bla bla bla, and then Jayden overhears, and God, IDEK. I'm gonna talk to my counselor about it on Thursday, probably, to get her perspective. It might be too much for me to have to think about at this point, but we'll see.

6. I finished season 1 of Psych yesterday -- super enjoyable. Especially the last two episodes. I swear, when Lassie got Shawn's bike back for him, my heart grew three sizes. And? Jules with a pink headband is just about the cutest shit ever. I wanted to tackle-squish her. Ooh, AND: Shawn/Jules = smack your mama-levels of adorbs + I'm in love with Gus. I think that about covers it.

7. My fic is pretty much done. I only have a line or two left to write & then a final read-through of the whole thing, so: probably tomorrow(ish), barring the Hellmouth in my GI tract opening up & swallowing us all whole. Let the drumroll begin!

8. I'm still watching Castle to give it a shot, and I'm liking it more now, though not quite to a fangirly degree. At least not yet; sometimes it happens gradually for me. But it's keeping my interest. I was amused by last night's Halloween episode having such a similar plot to the Psych finale I'd just watched, heh. Oh, TV. With your tropes!

9. I was looking for a clip on YouTube the other day by Maria Bamford (one of my longtime favorite comedians), and while I didn't find the exact one I was looking for, I ended up finding something even better. Basically, the story behind it is that she had a nervous breakdown a few years back, leading to her moving back in with her parents ('cross country), and while she was there--recovering, getting back on her feet--she filmed a series of "shows" in her room, sort of documenting the experience for her fans. If you're familiar with her comedy, you'll immediately recognize the family members she impersonates, but these vids go deeper than that. They're frequently hilarious, as you'd expect, but also brilliant, and honestly pretty damn moving at times. She talks so candidly about her depression & anxiety, things I very much identify with, at a level that is super brave imo considering her public status. There are twenty "episodes" in all, only a few minutes each, and OMG they just made my night while watching. The final one had me in tears, TWICE. Like, I rewatched it today & cried all over again. It's funny how sometimes you come across something you SO need to see at the exact right time. That's how it felt.

Anyway, so I absolutely knew I'd want to share the links here, which I'll do below. If you only have time to watch one for now, though, at least make it this one:



And here are the rest )

…off to go rewatch all twenty again, brb.

10. Wrapping this up, I managed to get four days behind on that song challenge meme, so I'd better get on that. Days 7-10 )
rachg82: (Booth/Bones superhero detectives)
It's unfortunate that my world is so full of stressful suck at the moment--October is normally one of my favorite months. I will say though that I enjoyed seeing my apartment manager's office covered in green cobwebs today (Why green? Mutant spiders, I'm guessing. Or because they have a secret desire for me to walk by & ask, "Going GREEN, are we? I hear that's big these days! OHH, RIMSHOT. WHO'S WITH ME"), not to mention all the Psych promos airing now for the upcoming 10/12 premiere. Which are basically making my entire life right now, just so y'all know. So much so that I had to pick a few favorites & embed them here (and by "a few", I mean five. Er). As one does )

…I really need some Psych icons. Seriously.

In other news, a new Bones promo popped up on the interwebz today as well. It's adorbs & much more promising imo than the previous promo they'd been showing. It can be found here.

In other, other news: I watched the first two eps (from the current season) of Castle tonight. YOU'RE WELCOME, FANDOM. Heh. I'll be honest and admit I'm totally biased against it--I do this with shows sometimes, hee. I did it with Buffy, for instance, for like years--and spend most of my time whenever I catch an ep mocking it in my head, but there's part of me that enjoys parts of it too. So I'll give it a bit more time and see if I warm up more. I reserve the right to keep mocking it internally though. No promises.

In other, other, other news: I'm still having a pretty rough time of it with my anxiety levels and SI issues, especially today. Like, kind of almost through the roof. I don't want to go into it in more detail than that though without a flocked post/trigger warning, but, yeah -- case in point as to why I could use some easy TV-induced happytimes even more so than usual atm. There've been a few times over the last week or so where I probably should've just called someone, like tonight for instance, but I just don't want to right now; I didn't even talk about it here the last time I self-injured, before today. What I do want is to have things be BETTER (no talking required, just ~magic~. Totally realistic). Get the food stamp money asap, find out what's up with unemployment (and have it be a positive result), pay my rent on time, figure out What I Want To Do next *without* the money-panic weighing me down, get used to my new counselor & new medication, and take things from there. I just, ugh, can't even talk about it more than that.

I did at least accomplish a couple things today though, despite the badness above. Ran a few errands (couldn't drag myself out in time for the ACA meeting, though. It took me a while to do anything. One of those "want to dig a hole & hide in it"-type days.), wrote a bit more for my fic, listened to a crapload of songs on YouTube, shook my fist in the air at Super Mario Bros. 2 & 3 (screw you, princess. Save yourself! I don't want your letters! Heh), and…okay, so that's not that much. But it felt like a lot. I was running on three hours sleep after waking up at 4 am from a nightmare. Really wish the recurring "someone showing up in my apartment" dreams would go the fuck away. aclieahogih CREEPY. I get out of bed & feel like I need to check the shadows & shit. So mental. Not that they'll stop me from probably watching a hot mess of horror movies/shows over the Halloween season, but shh.

Anyway, that's all for now as I should probably try to get to bed. Though I'll more likely try to beat my high score on Text Twist again, instead. But it's the thought that counts.

P.S. I'm behind on comments, but I do intend to try to catch up soon.

For my Vid of the Day, how's about I share three of the songs I listened to today? It's been a while since I did that. Behind the cut 'cause I'm considerate like that )

December 2020

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