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I'd rather chill, for real
This weekend has been not at all productive; however, in my defense, my stomach is acting like a jerkface. The thing is: when you're not used to eating very much? You can't suddenly change things around by gobbling up a bunch of fatty crap. BBQ chicken pizza & cinnamon sticks are great & all, but only when they actually *stay in your body* for a normal length of time. Ugh.
TMI, I know. Sorry. Point is: I spent most of the day sleeping (I took an anti-nausea med & those knock me OUT) & pretty much nothing was accomplished. Hopefully I can at least do some laundry & go to the grocery store tomorrow to buy some healthier food options. I think I'll wait on clothes-shopping until Monday.
On a weird note, twice this morning while I was half-awake I thought I heard knocking (well, more like slamming) on my front door, along with my mom's voice yelling & the door knob being jostled. Each time I fully woke up enough to look at the clock (first time was 8:30 a.m. & the second time was around eleven a.m.), but due to me having been only partially awake/still groggy, I couldn't tell later if it had actually happened. Sometimes I have dreams where I'm in bed "waking up", you see (but they're normally followed by typical dreamy stuff). It didn't feel like I was still dreaming though, and I clearly remember thinking to myself that I was going to just ignore her & go back to sleep (which I did). The reason I think it must've been a dream though is that there aren't any emails in my spam folder. I can't imagine she would've dragged her crazy ass over here without writing me some uber nutty nonsense either before or after. Even so, it freaked me out. Once I have the money, I'd really like to move & change my number. I'd still stay in the Portland area, but at least then it would be somewhere my mom/stepdad/sister don't know of. I just want to move on, y'know? Clean break.
In other news: the BSG rewatch continues. I'm done with the first four eps of season 3 (New Capricaaaaa[/flailing]). So good. So, SO good. The "refugees return" scene in particular still kills me (the saluting, the cheering, poor Tigh & Kara all alone--I can't even deal). That whole arc though is just brilliant, period. One of these days I'd like to write up all the reasons why I love it--much as I did with Pegasus--but for now it'll have to wait. I'll just say, it's a prime example for why smart people are drawn to the show. It's not just what happens there, or how it's filmed (wonderfully, btw--the lighting, gah), or how on-point the acting is; it's also about the political issues that are addressed. The occupation, the insurgents, the suicide bombings, the detention center, the refugees dealing with their anger/trauma later, ALL OF IT. It's so layered & not at all black & white. Bad guys do good things & good guys do bad things. I JUST LOVE IT, God.
And if you think I'm messing around, this is all I have to say:
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. My show got invited to the U.N. Did yours? (P.S. They also won a Peabody + Time Magazine named it the best show of the year in 2005 + bla bla etc…)
Anyway, heh. You get the idea. IT'S GOOD. WATCH IT.
Lastly, remember the ongoing commitment/resolution I've been setting for myself when it comes to living? (obviously it's not just about that--it's also about calling a hotline or going to the hospital if I feel incapable of keeping it) Well, the last one was until the end of March. I'm still getting occasional thoughts--I don't think I need to specify. You guys know what I mean--but they're not as frequent/intense. Obviously I would prefer to not have them at all, but it's still progress. That being said, I'm aware that the next few months feel tenuous--not just because starting a new job is potentially stressful for me (change), but because of Mother's Day in May & my nephew's birthday in July. I got through both events last year, though, which is reassuring. Still, I remember how bad my depression got around that time, so my resolution for now is just until the end of May. That feels manageable. At that point, I can extend it to the end of July. Two months at a time, you know? It makes it less difficult, at least for now. I hope I'm in a confident enough place mentally by the end of July, however, to simply say, "I'm here 'til the end of the year, no matter what" like I did last year. Obviously, I did end up calling a hotline in September, so it's not like the commitment somehow means I'm promising I'll *want* to live until that date, but in my opinion my resolution there is largely what got me to pick up the phone in the first place. So, yeah. It's important.
That's it for now. I'm going to either work on my fic or try to go back to bed. For my Vid of the Day, I have a happy tribute to the women of Firefly, made by yfish42. Despite the fact that I forgot to add it to my 2010 Soundtrack, this song was absolutely one of my themes regarding my family last year. I wouldn't have thought to pair it up with this show on my own, but it works nicely.
TMI, I know. Sorry. Point is: I spent most of the day sleeping (I took an anti-nausea med & those knock me OUT) & pretty much nothing was accomplished. Hopefully I can at least do some laundry & go to the grocery store tomorrow to buy some healthier food options. I think I'll wait on clothes-shopping until Monday.
On a weird note, twice this morning while I was half-awake I thought I heard knocking (well, more like slamming) on my front door, along with my mom's voice yelling & the door knob being jostled. Each time I fully woke up enough to look at the clock (first time was 8:30 a.m. & the second time was around eleven a.m.), but due to me having been only partially awake/still groggy, I couldn't tell later if it had actually happened. Sometimes I have dreams where I'm in bed "waking up", you see (but they're normally followed by typical dreamy stuff). It didn't feel like I was still dreaming though, and I clearly remember thinking to myself that I was going to just ignore her & go back to sleep (which I did). The reason I think it must've been a dream though is that there aren't any emails in my spam folder. I can't imagine she would've dragged her crazy ass over here without writing me some uber nutty nonsense either before or after. Even so, it freaked me out. Once I have the money, I'd really like to move & change my number. I'd still stay in the Portland area, but at least then it would be somewhere my mom/stepdad/sister don't know of. I just want to move on, y'know? Clean break.
In other news: the BSG rewatch continues. I'm done with the first four eps of season 3 (New Capricaaaaa[/flailing]). So good. So, SO good. The "refugees return" scene in particular still kills me (the saluting, the cheering, poor Tigh & Kara all alone--I can't even deal). That whole arc though is just brilliant, period. One of these days I'd like to write up all the reasons why I love it--much as I did with Pegasus--but for now it'll have to wait. I'll just say, it's a prime example for why smart people are drawn to the show. It's not just what happens there, or how it's filmed (wonderfully, btw--the lighting, gah), or how on-point the acting is; it's also about the political issues that are addressed. The occupation, the insurgents, the suicide bombings, the detention center, the refugees dealing with their anger/trauma later, ALL OF IT. It's so layered & not at all black & white. Bad guys do good things & good guys do bad things. I JUST LOVE IT, God.
And if you think I'm messing around, this is all I have to say:
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. My show got invited to the U.N. Did yours? (P.S. They also won a Peabody + Time Magazine named it the best show of the year in 2005 + bla bla etc…)
Anyway, heh. You get the idea. IT'S GOOD. WATCH IT.
Lastly, remember the ongoing commitment/resolution I've been setting for myself when it comes to living? (obviously it's not just about that--it's also about calling a hotline or going to the hospital if I feel incapable of keeping it) Well, the last one was until the end of March. I'm still getting occasional thoughts--I don't think I need to specify. You guys know what I mean--but they're not as frequent/intense. Obviously I would prefer to not have them at all, but it's still progress. That being said, I'm aware that the next few months feel tenuous--not just because starting a new job is potentially stressful for me (change), but because of Mother's Day in May & my nephew's birthday in July. I got through both events last year, though, which is reassuring. Still, I remember how bad my depression got around that time, so my resolution for now is just until the end of May. That feels manageable. At that point, I can extend it to the end of July. Two months at a time, you know? It makes it less difficult, at least for now. I hope I'm in a confident enough place mentally by the end of July, however, to simply say, "I'm here 'til the end of the year, no matter what" like I did last year. Obviously, I did end up calling a hotline in September, so it's not like the commitment somehow means I'm promising I'll *want* to live until that date, but in my opinion my resolution there is largely what got me to pick up the phone in the first place. So, yeah. It's important.
That's it for now. I'm going to either work on my fic or try to go back to bed. For my Vid of the Day, I have a happy tribute to the women of Firefly, made by yfish42. Despite the fact that I forgot to add it to my 2010 Soundtrack, this song was absolutely one of my themes regarding my family last year. I wouldn't have thought to pair it up with this show on my own, but it works nicely.
no subject
Sorry I have been totally absent from LJ and commenting on anything or anyone's stuff lately - I wish RL would piss off sometimes!
I very much support the burning of bridges you talk about - sometimes it's best just to remove oneself from the damaging stuff and make a clean break ♥♥
OMG that vid! It's gorgeous. I really really need to re-watch Firefly. It's been too long!
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Rewatching Joss is always a good call. You really can't go wrong there.
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The audio is off on those series of vids on YouTube though, so if you want the whole thing, it's on Google Video here.
I think the events of New Caprica are the high point of the show. Truly a badass run of episodes that is on my personal top ten list for any show, for all time.
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I go back & forth about which arc I personally love most--Pegasus or New Caprica--but objectively I think you're right. Season 3 really was when they peaked. It just took the show to a whole 'nother level.
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no subject