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You can't get to Heaven in your Sunday best
1. More photo meme funtimes, ahoy! Here's ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
torigates' request: "I'd like to see your kitchen and inside your fridge", and
As you can see, my kitchen's ceiling light is out. I keep forgetting to ask my apartment peeps to replace it. In the meantime, I've just been rockin' the ghetto stove lamp. Heh.
For fun, here's the view from my kitchen window:
And here's my pantry:
I need to go to the store. As always. But hey, Cocoa Puffs! If only I had milk to go with them. D'oh.
Aaaand, for extra fun, a close-up of cookbooks that never, ever get used:
Apparently they never met THIS bitch. Heh.
P.S. That cookbook was given to me by my grandma. Ha.
Finally, here's the inside of my fridge:
Thank goodness I ordered some Papa Johns tonight, otherwise the lack of food would've been even MORE sad & pathetic looking. Oy.
At least my kitchen is fairly clean for once! You had good timing, Tori.
2. My dreams continue to be wack-ass weird. I mean, on one hand I'm still getting the predictable family dreams, so that part's sort of status: normal, but on top of that they've just been so damned ODD lately. I found myself in some cheesy horror movie last night, and the baddie was a green-skinned (like the Wicked Witch) chick who would pop up out of nowhere and, like, stab you with her nails and shit if you didn't do whatever she wanted. Plus she had some magical power to make men obsessed with her. That by itself wouldn't be so weird (for a dream), but then guess how I convinced her to chill out & leave this one kid in my mom's family room alone? Why, I brought in Freddy Krueger of course. And she was all, "I'm not like that, am I?" And I was like, "Well, you're kind of a jerk. I mean, no offense." Hee hee. Then she felt all bad & let the kid go.[/clearly I'm a hero in my head]
Oh, and I totally hardcore made out with her afterward. HAHA. I think she had normal skin by then though.
What the fuuuuuck.
3. I've been working on my fic more, and I'm having a much easier time with it now. It's good to have something positive to focus on.
4. You know how you have to choose a mood for each entry? I keep running into the issue lately where I don't know what mood I am. There's honestly so many different things I feel about various parts of my life right now, and sometimes it leaves me feeling sort of…~nothing~ all over. Like, a big question mark. I just don't know. I do know I feel a bit lost regarding what to hope for & do with everything right now. There's still a lot of hopelessness & disillusionment in me, which I just sort of try to ignore. There's pain & anxiety over family stuff. There's a sense of failure, and the rut I feel stuck in when it comes to jobs & schooling & RL friendships & weight loss & self-improvement and…yeah, pretty much everything. But there's also, hey, at least my living room & kitchen are clean. Like, that's good. And fic writing also makes me feel good when it's going well, and I have a new candle lit in here that smells nice, and the weather's finally becoming spring-like, so those things are all positive. I've gained weight, which bothers me enormously, but I'm still rational enough to know five pounds is not the end of the damned world, and it could quickly be lost by walking. I don't know, whatever. Some of you know my depression has been pretty stealthy lately, getting much worse at nighttime/when I'm not distracted, but I'm still here, aren't I? And I'm trying to figure out how to find a balance between cheering myself up & not pushing problematic feelings down so that they'll just inevitably come rushing up later, like, "Surprise! Thought we were gone? THINK AGAIN. NOW WE'RE EVEN WORSE." You know? Oy, stupid FEELINGS.
Okay, ramble over. I will add though that I would really like to try & go to an ACA meeting this weekend. I'd also like to take a walk in Forest Park. I don't know if I'll follow through though (largely because my new jeans still aren't hemmed, and my other stuff is crappy looking. It's hard enough getting myself to walk anywhere nearby right now, let alone go downtown where people look nicer. Common sense would tell me "just go freaking get your jeans hemmed then! And do some laundry, stupid!" but it's like RIDIC levels of hard when you're depressed to get off your ass & do anything physical, especially for me if it involves possibly seeing other people). So, I won't say I'm doing it for sure, but I'm at least thinking about it. If I can just get myself to bring those jeans to the cleaners, that'll probably make other things easier & provide more motivation.[/ramble over for real this time. Don't mind me as Iwrite think outloud about stuff no one else in their right mind probably cares about.]
5. My DVR failed to record Parks & Rec + Community AGAIN this week. WTF, mate? I changed the settings though to allow for reruns as well now; maybe it was marking new eps as repeats & then ignoring them or something. *shakes fist*
It did however record Bones, thankfully. Let's talk about it:
(I even took notes this time, ooh la la)
-Dude, Sweets, being pregnant in & of itself is not an "accomplishment." She had sex. Sperm + egg = procreation. It's not like she discovered the cure for cancer or built a house for the homeless with her bare hands or something. Sure, her body is creating life (an amazing thing, for sure. "Congrats" or "That's wonderful" would be appropriate), but for serious, birds do it, bees do it, crackheads do it--you get the idea. You don't need any ~special skill~ just to get knocked up. Conversely, those who don't (or can't) get pregnant are not somehow lacking by default. Which I'm sure he wasn't trying to say, but it's easily implied when statements like that are made. (Two of my RL friends have had issues with infertility, which I know made them feel "less than", so things like this make me think of them.)
To be clear though: keeping yourself healthy during pregnancy & then raising a child well once they're born? That's an accomplishment. Absolutely. Props for those who manage that.
-"This little renegade…" Hee. I like it when Hodgins gets excited about bugs. On a personal note though? Tapeworms freak me the hell OUT. Ahhhhh.
-Cam squeezing the small intestine = ew. EW.
-Cam's hair = still cute in my book. I like shaggy 'dos.
-"A world without lies would be far more efficient." My initial reaction to this was, "YES. YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES." I really liked how they handled this issue though, because it was very balanced. They did a great job showing that more honesty can be good, but that it depends what you think "honesty" actually means. Like, to me? I think of it in terms of answering people's direct questions truthfully & not proactively saying/doing one thing while meaning another (i.e. out of some kind of manipulative agenda--overt & non-malicious sarcasm is of course completely different). I don't think it means saying everything that's on your mind 24/7 though, lacking any kind of thoughtful filter or tact/kindness. That would be an asinine thing to suggest.
It's a very fine line, clearly, when it comes to lies of omission. However, it really is pretty common sense in my opinion. Keeping it to yourself if you think someone's outfit is ugly? Perfectly acceptable lie of omission. You SHOULD keep it to yourself if they haven't asked for your opinion. It's not an important matter. I'd also say it's acceptable to tell them you don't like the outfit if they actually ask (how you say it is up to you, obviously, and that's where tact comes in), although I personally prefer not to tell people things like that if they're in public/unable to do anything about it. Like, wait until later, y'know? A delayed honest response, if you will. Hee. My family used to specifically come to me for my opinion about things like that though because they knew I'd be honest (I mean they would literally tell me that was their reason), so it can be beneficial. But again, if the person doesn't ask? Keep that shit to YOURSELF. There's no need to offer up that sort of information. It's totally trivial & has no bearing on your actual relationship with the person.
On the other hand: lies of omission regarding negative feelings about someone, like if you're upset with them for instance? Or going out of your way to tell them one thing when you mean something else? THAT'S where the danger lies in my opinion. Because I hate, hate, HATE when you think everything is fine, or you think you know someone, and then BAM. You find out they felt something else the whole freakin' time, and you didn't even know. Especially since whatever it is that's bothering them will often go from being a small issue to a *huge* issue, simply because they didn't address it & just let it build up over time. I used to do this, and I learned my lesson. I try to be forthcoming with things like that now when it's appropriate if I'm close to the person.
I also hate when people think they're "saving you" or "helping" you in some way, and so they do things that are favors/signs of their sainthood in their mind (which of course you're totally unaware of. Like, "Oh, I thought we did that together because you enjoyed it, not because I'm your charity case. Fantastic." So insulting, ugh), and then if you ever have an argument with them in the future they can suddenly pull those instances out as examples of their martyrdom & be all resentful about it out of nowhere. NOT COOL. I haaaate that type of dishonesty. HATE it.
If I had to choose between someone who's honest & someone who's not, though? I would always go for the honest person, which is probably not surprising to anyone as I also tend to love bluntly honest characters on my TV shows (Anya, Brennan, Abed, etc). But here's the caveat: if the honest person says or does something hurtful to a person they care about, their reaction to it being pointed out to them is crucial. See, honesty in the hands of an intelligent & goodhearted person? Not usually too big a problem. Honesty in the hands of an unapologetically ignorant dickwad? PROBLEM. And you can usually tell which one you're dealing with not only by what they said in the first place, but by how they respond if someone tries to talk to them about it afterward.
Anyway, I could probably go on about this subject for a while--honesty is a really important thing to me, but so is compassion & thinking about what you say before you say it--it's one of those things that's interesting to discuss, because of how differently people can perceive its meaning.
And that's where we come back to the ep--how it dealt with the meaning & application of honesty, which, again, I thought was handled very well. They didn't try to say anyone (read: Brennan. Let's be real) was wrong for preferring honesty or that honesty is by itself ~bad~, and yet they also pointed out the times in which it can be taken too far for no beneficial reason at all. Like, there's a difference between being honest & straight-up being a douchewaffle. Heh. There's also a difference between saying you lie because of manners/protecting others' feelings & using that as an excuse to be passive aggressive/deceitful against that person's will. So, yes. I liked that a lot. I also liked it when Booth mentioned the possibility of keeping something to yourself to protect your own feelings rather than the other person's. That was a very good point.
Enough about this topic though (heh, raaaaaaamble), and let's move on:
-Hodgins & Wendell throughout this entire episode were so delightful. Not to mention Cam's reactions. Hahaha. THAT HUG.
-"Pizza?"<--for some reason I found the way Cam said this to be adorable.
-"You can be extremely abrasive."/"Oh no, I'm well aware of that." HA! Brennannnnnnn. FTW. God, that made me laugh so hard. And I loved it specifically because of her response. I really appreciate that they didn't make it one of those "let's teach Brennan something" scenarios. Like, no, she has a pretty good sense of who she is, faults & all. THUMBS-UP.
-"Only because I can't stop you." Heeeeee.
-Check it! Brennan is in the interrogation room again! That makes me happyface, as does Booth showing up in the lab more.
-The end scene was cutetastic. It meant the world to him! It's what makes her, her! Awwwww. So much aw.
Also? "That's one more clown off the street." HEE.
-Overall, I really enjoyed this ep, and it's one of the first cases in a while that kept me entertained. I didn't feel like I was just waiting for the last scene the whole time.
I am also looking forward to next week's episode like WHOA. Hugely. Can't wait. It's coming at the perfect time for my fic, too.
For my Vid of the Day, here's a fun Community tribute that I found today by bopradar. Makes me want to go rewatch all of season 1 all over again.
torigates' request: "I'd like to see your kitchen and inside your fridge", and As you can see, my kitchen's ceiling light is out. I keep forgetting to ask my apartment peeps to replace it. In the meantime, I've just been rockin' the ghetto stove lamp. Heh.
For fun, here's the view from my kitchen window:
And here's my pantry:
I need to go to the store. As always. But hey, Cocoa Puffs! If only I had milk to go with them. D'oh.
Aaaand, for extra fun, a close-up of cookbooks that never, ever get used:
Apparently they never met THIS bitch. Heh.
P.S. That cookbook was given to me by my grandma. Ha.
Finally, here's the inside of my fridge:
Thank goodness I ordered some Papa Johns tonight, otherwise the lack of food would've been even MORE sad & pathetic looking. Oy.
At least my kitchen is fairly clean for once! You had good timing, Tori.
2. My dreams continue to be wack-ass weird. I mean, on one hand I'm still getting the predictable family dreams, so that part's sort of status: normal, but on top of that they've just been so damned ODD lately. I found myself in some cheesy horror movie last night, and the baddie was a green-skinned (like the Wicked Witch) chick who would pop up out of nowhere and, like, stab you with her nails and shit if you didn't do whatever she wanted. Plus she had some magical power to make men obsessed with her. That by itself wouldn't be so weird (for a dream), but then guess how I convinced her to chill out & leave this one kid in my mom's family room alone? Why, I brought in Freddy Krueger of course. And she was all, "I'm not like that, am I?" And I was like, "Well, you're kind of a jerk. I mean, no offense." Hee hee. Then she felt all bad & let the kid go.[/clearly I'm a hero in my head]
Oh, and I totally hardcore made out with her afterward. HAHA. I think she had normal skin by then though.
What the fuuuuuck.
3. I've been working on my fic more, and I'm having a much easier time with it now. It's good to have something positive to focus on.
4. You know how you have to choose a mood for each entry? I keep running into the issue lately where I don't know what mood I am. There's honestly so many different things I feel about various parts of my life right now, and sometimes it leaves me feeling sort of…~nothing~ all over. Like, a big question mark. I just don't know. I do know I feel a bit lost regarding what to hope for & do with everything right now. There's still a lot of hopelessness & disillusionment in me, which I just sort of try to ignore. There's pain & anxiety over family stuff. There's a sense of failure, and the rut I feel stuck in when it comes to jobs & schooling & RL friendships & weight loss & self-improvement and…yeah, pretty much everything. But there's also, hey, at least my living room & kitchen are clean. Like, that's good. And fic writing also makes me feel good when it's going well, and I have a new candle lit in here that smells nice, and the weather's finally becoming spring-like, so those things are all positive. I've gained weight, which bothers me enormously, but I'm still rational enough to know five pounds is not the end of the damned world, and it could quickly be lost by walking. I don't know, whatever. Some of you know my depression has been pretty stealthy lately, getting much worse at nighttime/when I'm not distracted, but I'm still here, aren't I? And I'm trying to figure out how to find a balance between cheering myself up & not pushing problematic feelings down so that they'll just inevitably come rushing up later, like, "Surprise! Thought we were gone? THINK AGAIN. NOW WE'RE EVEN WORSE." You know? Oy, stupid FEELINGS.
Okay, ramble over. I will add though that I would really like to try & go to an ACA meeting this weekend. I'd also like to take a walk in Forest Park. I don't know if I'll follow through though (largely because my new jeans still aren't hemmed, and my other stuff is crappy looking. It's hard enough getting myself to walk anywhere nearby right now, let alone go downtown where people look nicer. Common sense would tell me "just go freaking get your jeans hemmed then! And do some laundry, stupid!" but it's like RIDIC levels of hard when you're depressed to get off your ass & do anything physical, especially for me if it involves possibly seeing other people). So, I won't say I'm doing it for sure, but I'm at least thinking about it. If I can just get myself to bring those jeans to the cleaners, that'll probably make other things easier & provide more motivation.[/ramble over for real this time. Don't mind me as I
5. My DVR failed to record Parks & Rec + Community AGAIN this week. WTF, mate? I changed the settings though to allow for reruns as well now; maybe it was marking new eps as repeats & then ignoring them or something. *shakes fist*
It did however record Bones, thankfully. Let's talk about it:
(I even took notes this time, ooh la la)
-Dude, Sweets, being pregnant in & of itself is not an "accomplishment." She had sex. Sperm + egg = procreation. It's not like she discovered the cure for cancer or built a house for the homeless with her bare hands or something. Sure, her body is creating life (an amazing thing, for sure. "Congrats" or "That's wonderful" would be appropriate), but for serious, birds do it, bees do it, crackheads do it--you get the idea. You don't need any ~special skill~ just to get knocked up. Conversely, those who don't (or can't) get pregnant are not somehow lacking by default. Which I'm sure he wasn't trying to say, but it's easily implied when statements like that are made. (Two of my RL friends have had issues with infertility, which I know made them feel "less than", so things like this make me think of them.)
To be clear though: keeping yourself healthy during pregnancy & then raising a child well once they're born? That's an accomplishment. Absolutely. Props for those who manage that.
-"This little renegade…" Hee. I like it when Hodgins gets excited about bugs. On a personal note though? Tapeworms freak me the hell OUT. Ahhhhh.
-Cam squeezing the small intestine = ew. EW.
-Cam's hair = still cute in my book. I like shaggy 'dos.
-"A world without lies would be far more efficient." My initial reaction to this was, "YES. YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES." I really liked how they handled this issue though, because it was very balanced. They did a great job showing that more honesty can be good, but that it depends what you think "honesty" actually means. Like, to me? I think of it in terms of answering people's direct questions truthfully & not proactively saying/doing one thing while meaning another (i.e. out of some kind of manipulative agenda--overt & non-malicious sarcasm is of course completely different). I don't think it means saying everything that's on your mind 24/7 though, lacking any kind of thoughtful filter or tact/kindness. That would be an asinine thing to suggest.
It's a very fine line, clearly, when it comes to lies of omission. However, it really is pretty common sense in my opinion. Keeping it to yourself if you think someone's outfit is ugly? Perfectly acceptable lie of omission. You SHOULD keep it to yourself if they haven't asked for your opinion. It's not an important matter. I'd also say it's acceptable to tell them you don't like the outfit if they actually ask (how you say it is up to you, obviously, and that's where tact comes in), although I personally prefer not to tell people things like that if they're in public/unable to do anything about it. Like, wait until later, y'know? A delayed honest response, if you will. Hee. My family used to specifically come to me for my opinion about things like that though because they knew I'd be honest (I mean they would literally tell me that was their reason), so it can be beneficial. But again, if the person doesn't ask? Keep that shit to YOURSELF. There's no need to offer up that sort of information. It's totally trivial & has no bearing on your actual relationship with the person.
On the other hand: lies of omission regarding negative feelings about someone, like if you're upset with them for instance? Or going out of your way to tell them one thing when you mean something else? THAT'S where the danger lies in my opinion. Because I hate, hate, HATE when you think everything is fine, or you think you know someone, and then BAM. You find out they felt something else the whole freakin' time, and you didn't even know. Especially since whatever it is that's bothering them will often go from being a small issue to a *huge* issue, simply because they didn't address it & just let it build up over time. I used to do this, and I learned my lesson. I try to be forthcoming with things like that now when it's appropriate if I'm close to the person.
I also hate when people think they're "saving you" or "helping" you in some way, and so they do things that are favors/signs of their sainthood in their mind (which of course you're totally unaware of. Like, "Oh, I thought we did that together because you enjoyed it, not because I'm your charity case. Fantastic." So insulting, ugh), and then if you ever have an argument with them in the future they can suddenly pull those instances out as examples of their martyrdom & be all resentful about it out of nowhere. NOT COOL. I haaaate that type of dishonesty. HATE it.
If I had to choose between someone who's honest & someone who's not, though? I would always go for the honest person, which is probably not surprising to anyone as I also tend to love bluntly honest characters on my TV shows (Anya, Brennan, Abed, etc). But here's the caveat: if the honest person says or does something hurtful to a person they care about, their reaction to it being pointed out to them is crucial. See, honesty in the hands of an intelligent & goodhearted person? Not usually too big a problem. Honesty in the hands of an unapologetically ignorant dickwad? PROBLEM. And you can usually tell which one you're dealing with not only by what they said in the first place, but by how they respond if someone tries to talk to them about it afterward.
Anyway, I could probably go on about this subject for a while--honesty is a really important thing to me, but so is compassion & thinking about what you say before you say it--it's one of those things that's interesting to discuss, because of how differently people can perceive its meaning.
And that's where we come back to the ep--how it dealt with the meaning & application of honesty, which, again, I thought was handled very well. They didn't try to say anyone (read: Brennan. Let's be real) was wrong for preferring honesty or that honesty is by itself ~bad~, and yet they also pointed out the times in which it can be taken too far for no beneficial reason at all. Like, there's a difference between being honest & straight-up being a douchewaffle. Heh. There's also a difference between saying you lie because of manners/protecting others' feelings & using that as an excuse to be passive aggressive/deceitful against that person's will. So, yes. I liked that a lot. I also liked it when Booth mentioned the possibility of keeping something to yourself to protect your own feelings rather than the other person's. That was a very good point.
Enough about this topic though (heh, raaaaaaamble), and let's move on:
-Hodgins & Wendell throughout this entire episode were so delightful. Not to mention Cam's reactions. Hahaha. THAT HUG.
-"Pizza?"<--for some reason I found the way Cam said this to be adorable.
-"You can be extremely abrasive."/"Oh no, I'm well aware of that." HA! Brennannnnnnn. FTW. God, that made me laugh so hard. And I loved it specifically because of her response. I really appreciate that they didn't make it one of those "let's teach Brennan something" scenarios. Like, no, she has a pretty good sense of who she is, faults & all. THUMBS-UP.
-"Only because I can't stop you." Heeeeee.
-Check it! Brennan is in the interrogation room again! That makes me happyface, as does Booth showing up in the lab more.
-The end scene was cutetastic. It meant the world to him! It's what makes her, her! Awwwww. So much aw.
Also? "That's one more clown off the street." HEE.
-Overall, I really enjoyed this ep, and it's one of the first cases in a while that kept me entertained. I didn't feel like I was just waiting for the last scene the whole time.
I am also looking forward to next week's episode like WHOA. Hugely. Can't wait. It's coming at the perfect time for my fic, too.
For my Vid of the Day, here's a fun Community tribute that I found today by bopradar. Makes me want to go rewatch all of season 1 all over again.
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I agree with you that being knocked up isn't exactly an accomplishment, as I too know a couple of crackheads who do it on an alarmingly frequent basis. But it sure is hard work sometimes. Which is kind of what I got from what Sweets was saying. Not so much a pat on the back for being pregnant, but more of an acknowledgment that there's a whole lot of important stuff going on in there right now and it does take a lot out of you at times. Even for the women who seem to sail effortlessly through pregnancy (of which I certainly was not one).
At the end there when they were like maybe some things don't need to be said or however it was that they put it, I was like "YES! YES THEY DO, YOU MORONS!! NOW SAY THEM AND THEN GO HAVE SOME HOT MONKEY LOVE ALREADY!!" FFS. I swear to God, if they don't go there this finale, I am going to go absolutely, positively apeshit.
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Not so much a pat on the back for being pregnant
I think it was his comment about how he wasn't doing anything while she was "forming a pancreas" that made me take it that way. I was like, "Yo, she's not really consciously forming it. It's forming on its own. She doesn't have to tell it what to do while wearing a construction hat or some shit." But yes, I agree that getting through any physically difficult experience--a category which pregnancy certainly could fall into, depending on the circumstances (fwiw, most mothers I've known had rough pregnancies, so I know what you mean)--is something one has a right to be proud of. I think he just brought it up/worded it in a strange way is all. It felt odd to me.
I swear to God, if they don't go there this finale, I am going to go absolutely, positively apeshit.
Haha. But just think of it this way--the less talking, the more time there is for potential hot monkey love. That's what I care about the most right now--BRING ON TEH SEX.[/shameless]
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…or would it? (Heh, "deep." THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID)
I can't believe I just went there.
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(Anonymous) 2011-04-29 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
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