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rachg82*nods at subject heading and current music* I totally have Mr. Rogers looping in my head right now. I don't feel like having a very snappy new day though. Heh. I feel like tearing my ears out. Stop hurting, youse! And then I'm left deaf, all "that'll learn 'em." Stupid ears. And stupid sinuses too. And stupid voice, because it's all raspy and going out on me, and the phone keeps ringing, and I'm like "stop calling, people, I can't even talk! Ugh!"
So, yes, I'm sick again. Yes, AGAIN. I feel like I've been constantly battling colds and these same infections for months now. Like, the infections have never totally gone away, and yet they'll ease up a little in between the colds, so I'll still not feel great, but I don't even get the chance to see if I could get better because I keep catching viruses which just flare up the infections more again. Over and over. This has got to be the third major bout I've had with the whole thing in the last two months. ANNOYING. Not only do I need more antibiotics, and better ones, and then need to stay on them longer than the ten days I took Corinne's for last time, but I also need to see a dentist. Because I think part of this overall deathpain in my face is coming from my teeth. Like, my sinuses hurt, and my ears hurt, but I'm not sure how much of the ear pain is just from the ears (like maybe an infection there, at least mildly), or the sinuses, or actually the teeth. Because it hurts down into my teeth and jaw, where the wisdom teeth should be. And like it hurts bad there in between the jaw/teeth and ears, but it hasn't been the same every day, and it seems like it gets worse with the colds/infections. So then I think of how my sister and Dad were told that since huge sinus cavities seem to run in the family that pain and congestion up there can press on nerves below and cause teeth pain. My sister kept having really bad tooth aches and then discovered it wasn't even the teeth causing it, but her sinuses. So then I just don't even know. But I haven't had my teeth checked in YEARS, so I should find a way to see someone anyway. I just don't have a clue how much it would cost out of pocket, and I'm scared I'll need work done in some way, and won't be able to afford it. Ugh. Or even what if I go and spend money and they tell me my teeth are fine and the pain really is my sinuses. Then I have to spend even more money, going to a normal doctor! But I guess at least then I'd know. Plus, I need to see a real doctor again anyway, because regardless of the ears and teeth, I have green crap coming out of my nose, and it hurts again below my eyes and over my cheeks, and between my eyes and over my eyes. And please, someone just kill me. Over the counter stuff is just not cutting it here. I need some heroin.
I'm leaving in a little while, and anyway it's hard to concentrate on anything when my head and ears are like ON FIRE, but oh well. I could use a shower, but I so don't have the energy to be dealing with that right now. Heh. All that standing and lathering and rinsing, and then combing and blowdrying. Forget it. What's the good in being sick, if you can't even slack on things. Although I was slacking before being sick, but I made a resolution recently to try to stop it. However that resolution is on hiatus until I find a priest or someone to exorcise the demons from my sinus cavities. I wonder if holy water comes in nose-spray form.
Actually, I just had a thought. What if the jaw pain is actually tension? I was told once that my jaw opens and closes unevenly, and that I should do some weird exercises with my mouth everyday to try to ease tension there. Good thing I never have. Heh. I thought he was kind of full of crap. Maybe I'll try it though. I wonder if I grind my teeth at night, too. My sister and Mom do, or clench them, or something. Whatever it is that makes doctors tell you to wear those teeth-guard things at night, which neither ever do. I'm just curious is all. I saw some thing on the local news last night about some weird computer thing being put on the teeth of migraine sufferers, and I didn't hear the whole thing, but it had something to do with tension there, and was supposed to possibly help. That's kind of what made me think of this just now. Hmm. It's probably wisdom teeth though, because I want something to bite down on. Like I'm freaking teething. Heh. So, yeah. The whole thing sucks my asshole, and not in a good way.
You know what sounds nice? Acupuncture. Too bad it's expensive as Hell.
Anyway, as for my life, I'm doing better than I was a few weeks ago. I still have been fighting off some bouts of loneliness and stuff, but as of the moment I'm writing this I'm okay. Jen and I still haven't had a real discussion about what happened between us, but we're saying hello and all. So I guess that's better than before, but still strange.
I'm housesitting at my Mom's right now, too, and will be until like Tuesday or something. It kind of breaks up the momentum I had going, since I was on this cleaning roll at home, and that's annoying, but being sick again probably would've broken it up anyway. So whatever. I seriously really need to work on sending resumes and looking up more jobs though, and wish I felt more up to it. God, this pisses me off. But oh well, buck up there, little whinerooh. There's other errands I need to do too, and I just don't feel like doing anything but sticking my head in a compression thing and squeezing it all over. Ooh, that's totally what I need. If I had some device to press really hard on like all these spots that hurt right now, I could probably concentrate on these things. Too bad I don't have more hands.
Shit, I've already wasted all sorts of time here. Eh, I guess it doesn't matter. I've kind of decided to try to give up on writing a really comprehensive entry on Jayden, for instance. I'll just add little things when I think of them. Because I'll never get around to covering everything I'd want to in one entry. As for today, here's a couple random things about him that I can think of.
1. The other day, Midnight (their cat) sneezed, and Jayden picked up a sweatshirt of his nearby like he was offering it to him. And I asked "are you offering Midnight a tissue?" and he was all "heh" (not in a laugh way, but literally "heh", the sound. It's his way of saying "yes"), and then found a rag on his other side and tried to wipe the cat's nose with it. Hee hee. He's cute!
2. He's also nineteen months old now. I know. Crazy.
3. He's sick too (where do you think we all keep catching things?), and therefore fussy. There's nothing like a grumpy toddler. But I can hardly blame him. If my nose was running as bad as his, and I didn't know how to properly blow it yet, I'd be pissed off too. Last Thursday, while I was there, he threw up like ten freaking times. Four or five of which happened when it was just me there, and within the span of maybe an hour or two. All over the place. On the floor, on the couch, on his clothes. I managed to keep it off my clothes, amazingly, and then I forget it was on the couch and totally sat in it. Eww.
(p.s. My sister had some vomit olympics of her own this weekend too. And now her cough is back as well. She's about as grumpy as Jayden. Heh. Okay, maybe not really, but close enough for that to be funny)
4. Did I ever tell you guys that he knows the model names of all his matchbox cars? At least most of them anyway. And he has a lot. Like, I can ask him "Where's the 64 Bonneville?" or "Can you show me the Audi Cooper?" and so on, and he'll point or hand it to me. Every now and then he'll forget something, but if it were a test, he'd always get an A average. As in, probably over 95% of the time he gets the right one. And I mean, like, he has a 58 Impala, and a 65 Impala, and he knows the difference. So you get the idea. He's brilliant.
And I'm starting to know them too, which is just funny. Heh. Especially since all of us say what the cars are in this hybrid Kermit the Frog-slash-Marvin the Martian voice, for some reason. Like "here's the 64 Lincoln Continental! And I'm going to blow up Planet Earth!"
Okay, I'd like to keep going, but I should go get dressed, since my sister is picking me up in ten minutes. I'll write more later, probably. I'll just leave you guys with this: Jayden offers food and drinks and sometimes toys to everyone and everything. His stuffed animals, people on tv, occasionally something really random like a car or the heater, all of us, and will feed pretend food to the animals in his little people zoo too. Hee. And makes smacking sounds while he does it, to create the sounds of eating. Which I showed him, but still. CUTE.
Ooh, and that reminds me, he totally plays pretend at his play kitchen too. And pretends to drink out of the faucet on it. Hee. And suddenly now, even if he isn't really saying many words, he'll like just do things that I do with him. Like maybe sometimes to help him learn how to fit objects into things, or do stuff, I'll be all "does it go here? Nooo. Does this fit here? Nooo" and I do that with other questions too, being silly, and yesterday he started randomly putting things in places and shaking his head back and forth, making sounds, then putting it somewhere else and doing the same thing (plus keep in mind he's just been learning how shaking your head or nodding means no or yes and how to do it himself recently), and it was so cute I almost died. Hee. Maybe you had to be there, but it was great. Like he was playing our little game by himself, in his own little world. Agh, CUTE!
Okay, I swear this is the last thing. When he puts little animals or dolls or whatever in his School bus, he opens the door first on it. You don't have to, you see. But he does. Regardless of whether he's moving them through the door or not. He'll just open and close it and then put it in a seat. Heeeee. I like fell over on the floor when I first saw that, like "oh my God, you're so cute, that's it!" and then I attacked. Hee. Auntie Attacks, I call them, where I randomly grab him and hug him, like "you're cute!" And he smiles and it's funny. Heh.
Okay, gotta go. For real this time.
So, yes, I'm sick again. Yes, AGAIN. I feel like I've been constantly battling colds and these same infections for months now. Like, the infections have never totally gone away, and yet they'll ease up a little in between the colds, so I'll still not feel great, but I don't even get the chance to see if I could get better because I keep catching viruses which just flare up the infections more again. Over and over. This has got to be the third major bout I've had with the whole thing in the last two months. ANNOYING. Not only do I need more antibiotics, and better ones, and then need to stay on them longer than the ten days I took Corinne's for last time, but I also need to see a dentist. Because I think part of this overall deathpain in my face is coming from my teeth. Like, my sinuses hurt, and my ears hurt, but I'm not sure how much of the ear pain is just from the ears (like maybe an infection there, at least mildly), or the sinuses, or actually the teeth. Because it hurts down into my teeth and jaw, where the wisdom teeth should be. And like it hurts bad there in between the jaw/teeth and ears, but it hasn't been the same every day, and it seems like it gets worse with the colds/infections. So then I think of how my sister and Dad were told that since huge sinus cavities seem to run in the family that pain and congestion up there can press on nerves below and cause teeth pain. My sister kept having really bad tooth aches and then discovered it wasn't even the teeth causing it, but her sinuses. So then I just don't even know. But I haven't had my teeth checked in YEARS, so I should find a way to see someone anyway. I just don't have a clue how much it would cost out of pocket, and I'm scared I'll need work done in some way, and won't be able to afford it. Ugh. Or even what if I go and spend money and they tell me my teeth are fine and the pain really is my sinuses. Then I have to spend even more money, going to a normal doctor! But I guess at least then I'd know. Plus, I need to see a real doctor again anyway, because regardless of the ears and teeth, I have green crap coming out of my nose, and it hurts again below my eyes and over my cheeks, and between my eyes and over my eyes. And please, someone just kill me. Over the counter stuff is just not cutting it here. I need some heroin.
I'm leaving in a little while, and anyway it's hard to concentrate on anything when my head and ears are like ON FIRE, but oh well. I could use a shower, but I so don't have the energy to be dealing with that right now. Heh. All that standing and lathering and rinsing, and then combing and blowdrying. Forget it. What's the good in being sick, if you can't even slack on things. Although I was slacking before being sick, but I made a resolution recently to try to stop it. However that resolution is on hiatus until I find a priest or someone to exorcise the demons from my sinus cavities. I wonder if holy water comes in nose-spray form.
Actually, I just had a thought. What if the jaw pain is actually tension? I was told once that my jaw opens and closes unevenly, and that I should do some weird exercises with my mouth everyday to try to ease tension there. Good thing I never have. Heh. I thought he was kind of full of crap. Maybe I'll try it though. I wonder if I grind my teeth at night, too. My sister and Mom do, or clench them, or something. Whatever it is that makes doctors tell you to wear those teeth-guard things at night, which neither ever do. I'm just curious is all. I saw some thing on the local news last night about some weird computer thing being put on the teeth of migraine sufferers, and I didn't hear the whole thing, but it had something to do with tension there, and was supposed to possibly help. That's kind of what made me think of this just now. Hmm. It's probably wisdom teeth though, because I want something to bite down on. Like I'm freaking teething. Heh. So, yeah. The whole thing sucks my asshole, and not in a good way.
You know what sounds nice? Acupuncture. Too bad it's expensive as Hell.
Anyway, as for my life, I'm doing better than I was a few weeks ago. I still have been fighting off some bouts of loneliness and stuff, but as of the moment I'm writing this I'm okay. Jen and I still haven't had a real discussion about what happened between us, but we're saying hello and all. So I guess that's better than before, but still strange.
I'm housesitting at my Mom's right now, too, and will be until like Tuesday or something. It kind of breaks up the momentum I had going, since I was on this cleaning roll at home, and that's annoying, but being sick again probably would've broken it up anyway. So whatever. I seriously really need to work on sending resumes and looking up more jobs though, and wish I felt more up to it. God, this pisses me off. But oh well, buck up there, little whinerooh. There's other errands I need to do too, and I just don't feel like doing anything but sticking my head in a compression thing and squeezing it all over. Ooh, that's totally what I need. If I had some device to press really hard on like all these spots that hurt right now, I could probably concentrate on these things. Too bad I don't have more hands.
Shit, I've already wasted all sorts of time here. Eh, I guess it doesn't matter. I've kind of decided to try to give up on writing a really comprehensive entry on Jayden, for instance. I'll just add little things when I think of them. Because I'll never get around to covering everything I'd want to in one entry. As for today, here's a couple random things about him that I can think of.
1. The other day, Midnight (their cat) sneezed, and Jayden picked up a sweatshirt of his nearby like he was offering it to him. And I asked "are you offering Midnight a tissue?" and he was all "heh" (not in a laugh way, but literally "heh", the sound. It's his way of saying "yes"), and then found a rag on his other side and tried to wipe the cat's nose with it. Hee hee. He's cute!
2. He's also nineteen months old now. I know. Crazy.
3. He's sick too (where do you think we all keep catching things?), and therefore fussy. There's nothing like a grumpy toddler. But I can hardly blame him. If my nose was running as bad as his, and I didn't know how to properly blow it yet, I'd be pissed off too. Last Thursday, while I was there, he threw up like ten freaking times. Four or five of which happened when it was just me there, and within the span of maybe an hour or two. All over the place. On the floor, on the couch, on his clothes. I managed to keep it off my clothes, amazingly, and then I forget it was on the couch and totally sat in it. Eww.
(p.s. My sister had some vomit olympics of her own this weekend too. And now her cough is back as well. She's about as grumpy as Jayden. Heh. Okay, maybe not really, but close enough for that to be funny)
4. Did I ever tell you guys that he knows the model names of all his matchbox cars? At least most of them anyway. And he has a lot. Like, I can ask him "Where's the 64 Bonneville?" or "Can you show me the Audi Cooper?" and so on, and he'll point or hand it to me. Every now and then he'll forget something, but if it were a test, he'd always get an A average. As in, probably over 95% of the time he gets the right one. And I mean, like, he has a 58 Impala, and a 65 Impala, and he knows the difference. So you get the idea. He's brilliant.
And I'm starting to know them too, which is just funny. Heh. Especially since all of us say what the cars are in this hybrid Kermit the Frog-slash-Marvin the Martian voice, for some reason. Like "here's the 64 Lincoln Continental! And I'm going to blow up Planet Earth!"
Okay, I'd like to keep going, but I should go get dressed, since my sister is picking me up in ten minutes. I'll write more later, probably. I'll just leave you guys with this: Jayden offers food and drinks and sometimes toys to everyone and everything. His stuffed animals, people on tv, occasionally something really random like a car or the heater, all of us, and will feed pretend food to the animals in his little people zoo too. Hee. And makes smacking sounds while he does it, to create the sounds of eating. Which I showed him, but still. CUTE.
Ooh, and that reminds me, he totally plays pretend at his play kitchen too. And pretends to drink out of the faucet on it. Hee. And suddenly now, even if he isn't really saying many words, he'll like just do things that I do with him. Like maybe sometimes to help him learn how to fit objects into things, or do stuff, I'll be all "does it go here? Nooo. Does this fit here? Nooo" and I do that with other questions too, being silly, and yesterday he started randomly putting things in places and shaking his head back and forth, making sounds, then putting it somewhere else and doing the same thing (plus keep in mind he's just been learning how shaking your head or nodding means no or yes and how to do it himself recently), and it was so cute I almost died. Hee. Maybe you had to be there, but it was great. Like he was playing our little game by himself, in his own little world. Agh, CUTE!
Okay, I swear this is the last thing. When he puts little animals or dolls or whatever in his School bus, he opens the door first on it. You don't have to, you see. But he does. Regardless of whether he's moving them through the door or not. He'll just open and close it and then put it in a seat. Heeeee. I like fell over on the floor when I first saw that, like "oh my God, you're so cute, that's it!" and then I attacked. Hee. Auntie Attacks, I call them, where I randomly grab him and hug him, like "you're cute!" And he smiles and it's funny. Heh.
Okay, gotta go. For real this time.
