rachg82

All right folks, I've got a few brief announcements to make before I go make my couch's acquaintance & prepare myself for some Bones-filled funtimes:

Announcement #1:

sumpta is the biggity-biggity bomb. Wanna know why? Because when I came home today, I checked my mail & found a box of Belgian motherfrakkin' chocolate waiting for me. Not only that, but two of them are truffles. MY FAVORITE KIND.

sumpta, just so you know, if you didn't live so far away, you would totally be getting some right now. Just sayin'. (also: It's completely your fault when I gain these 20 pounds back. Heeee. P.S. I love your elaborate list of BSG chocolate questions! Haha. I will fill them all out and post my answers here as soon as I try each one out, but I have to pace myself so I don't pass out in a sugar coma or something. Oh, but what a way to go!)

Announcement #2: So, uh, guess who might have glaucoma? Yeah, possibly me. Okay, okay, so I don't know for sure yet. I have to wait until an appointment with my eye doctor on Saturday, but in the meantime I have to stop taking the Topamax as per my doctor's orders. I emailed her after talking with

juliedarling yesterday about the eye pain I'd been having, and she (my doctor) told me to quit it right away and go have my eyes checked out because apparently it can be a serious thing. My instinct is to say it probably has nothing to do with it, and that it's probably just related to the migraines & stress I've been having, because my body tends to do the most ridic shit ever when it comes to stress, but even so I don't really want to end up blind and having to be all, "Whoops, my bad! Guess I should've reported those side effects like the website said! Aw, shucks!" And no, that's not an exaggeration. This shit can make you go blind. So I really don't want to play around here. Especially since I don't usually get eye pain & light sensitivity like this for so many days in a row (certainly not to this degree), so it's really just weird at this point. But again, when I'm going through times of high-stress? My body can & will react in ways that are totally unpredictable. So that's why my instinct is to write this off, but at the same time I have to be better safe than sorry in this particular case.

Still, I'm really just hoping it is stress-related because I want this medication to *work*, you know? I'm not sure where to go from here if it doesn't & I'm seriously tired of being dependent on pain-medication & having my life revolve around the headaches. Plus I'd really prefer not to have glaucoma too. That'd be kind of a bummer. Heh. If I did though, seriously, all I could do at this point is laugh. Like, life, way to suck shit. Worst six months ever. But hopefully that doesn't happen. Hopefully it's stress-related and the eye-doctor appointment is a waste of $65 and I can go back on the Topamax and it'll help me. There's not really much use in worrying at this point about the alternative. I'll cross that bridge if I have to and in the meantime just cross my fingers that it all works out. And try not to be too annoyed that I have to spend $65 too obviously. Ugh.

For what it's worth though? Bizarrely, I'm in kind of a good mood tonight. Maybe it's the chocolate, maybe it's Bones returning, I don't know. Heh. I guess I sort of just feel resigned to the whole, "hey, life is committed to kicking the shit out of me the last few months, so let's make the best out of it, okay? We'll work it out." And yes, I just let my own POV change from "me" to "we". Just go with it. Heh. Seriously though, I've made it this far, right? I'll be all right. Eventually anyway.

Announcement #3: I haven't talked to my sister since her 2 am phone call on Saturday night. Of course I should probably add that I unplugged my phone all Sunday because I knew I couldn't risk any added stress that day before returning to work on Monday & didn't want to deal with hearing from her, so it's possible she tried calling then, but I doubt it. Point is, she hasn't tried calling since. I can't decide which description would apply to her more right now: punk-ass bitch or bitch-ass punk. (bonus points go to anyone who knows where I got that from, heh) And no, I'm not interested in any "aw, but look at it from her side" perspectives. I'm strictly in a "I am wicked irritated & want to smack her across the face" state of mind at the moment. So, you know, fyi. I know we'll make up eventually, but God damn, so annoying. On the other hand though, I'm so exhausted caring about family stuff lately that I can't get myself to think about it or care about it for more than like two seconds before I'm just like, "God whatever, I'm gonna think about something else now." I'm just sort of cared-out, you know? Kind of numb. Maybe that's a good thing? Or does that make me somehow heartless or bad? I don't even know anymore.

I do know when we talk again though that I'm still sticking to what I told her before, which is that I don't want to hear about her marital problems anymore. Eventually she's going to have to get that through her head. I do at least have faith that she can though, but I'm just not sure how long it'll take is all. I just can't be there for her anymore though when it comes to him & his abusive crap, because it doesn't help her; it just hurts me. She needs a professional to help her, bottom line. And it's not fair of her to keep asking me to make things better when I tell her I can't, and I tell her it stresses me out, and have told her what I think she should do & she doesn't listen. After a certain point, you exhaust your right to ask for a person's shoulder to cry on when you keep making stupid decisions. It's sad & I feel bad for her because I love her, but it's been going on for so many years now & I just can't handle the strain anymore.

All right, it is now about twenty past eight and I think that is a sufficient amount of time for my DVR to let me watch Bones with no commercials. Hee. Genius, I know.

For my Vid of the Day, how about we pay tribute to one of my favorite female characters of all time? Flist, may I present to you Anya "Lame-ass Made-up Maiden Name" Harris? *does the Dance of Capitalist Superiority in her honor*

(psst, this vid is by charlierwj for those keeping score. Enjoy!)

"Ella Fitzgerald - Blue Skies (High Quality - Remastered)" (Watch on YouTube)