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Decade in Review: 2010 - 2020
Jan. 7th, 2020 11:27 pmHello, all! Some of you long-time friends of mine might remember how I used to do "Year in Review" posts every January, and how in 2009/2010 I actually did an overly ambitious Decade in Review (for those who are curious, here's Part One and Part Two from that), which involved gathering together excerpts from all my most notable journal entries between 2002 (when I started my journal) and 2009. Even though hardly any of my old online pals ever visit LJ anymore (it's just me and the Russians now, lol), and even though my "real life" friends might take a look at the length of this post and run screaming in the opposite direction, I still felt drawn to making another Decade in Review post this year. I'm sure it will be the last of its kind that I do on LiveJournal because frankly I'd be surprised if the site were even still around five years from now, let alone ten. But anyone who knows me well knows I'm resistant AF to change. So I will probably be clutching onto this site 'til the very end, whenever that is.
Anyway though. God, ramble much? My point is: This post contains memorable or significant quotes from entries I wrote over the past 10 years. There is a lot of vulnerability in here, and it gets dark at points. So if you're dealing with depression or self-harm yourself, you may want to set this aside to read at a later date. But if you do feel up to reading this, my hopes would be that people leave with a better understanding of who I am, what I've been through, and why recovery means so much to me. So much of it is hard to explain now, but I managed to do a pretty good job of it at the time.
P.S. Also? It's been my dream since I was a teenager to someday write and publish my own memoir, so if people find this engaging to read, that will boost my confidence a little bit in that area. You never know! Maybe one of these days, I'll do it.
( Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time )
And that's it, folks! If any of you actually read this to the end, I commend you! I know it's long as hell, but hopefully it speaks to someone, somewhere. I'm glad I didn't know 10 years ago everything I'd have to go through between then and now, but I'm also proud of how I've grown and evolved. It shows me that changes for the better are possible, even if they are utterly unforeseen and long overdue. I hope that 10 years from now, I'm able to say the same thing.
Anyway though. God, ramble much? My point is: This post contains memorable or significant quotes from entries I wrote over the past 10 years. There is a lot of vulnerability in here, and it gets dark at points. So if you're dealing with depression or self-harm yourself, you may want to set this aside to read at a later date. But if you do feel up to reading this, my hopes would be that people leave with a better understanding of who I am, what I've been through, and why recovery means so much to me. So much of it is hard to explain now, but I managed to do a pretty good job of it at the time.
P.S. Also? It's been my dream since I was a teenager to someday write and publish my own memoir, so if people find this engaging to read, that will boost my confidence a little bit in that area. You never know! Maybe one of these days, I'll do it.
( Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time )
And that's it, folks! If any of you actually read this to the end, I commend you! I know it's long as hell, but hopefully it speaks to someone, somewhere. I'm glad I didn't know 10 years ago everything I'd have to go through between then and now, but I'm also proud of how I've grown and evolved. It shows me that changes for the better are possible, even if they are utterly unforeseen and long overdue. I hope that 10 years from now, I'm able to say the same thing.
