I guess it does all go back to those first body issues
That's really such a good point. I still wasn't happy with my appearance then, I still had issues with food/diet/body image--all of it was there. It's so hard to remember that. I mean, when I was bigger, I *thought* I'd remember it, because I honestly didn't think I would feel the need to get skinny again when I started losing weight. I thought I would just lose some weight, get healthy, but wouldn't become a crazy person about it. I looked back at how thin I'd been in the past and how, even then, I wasn't pleased with my body, and I said, "damn, I don't even really care that much that I'm fat right now. In comparison, I should be fine if I just lose twenty pounds." But once the weight started dropping, my mindset became more & more extreme. Finding a middle-ground is not easy. Especially since in reality? Before I started losing weight again, I DID care that I was bigger. I just wasn't admitting it. I avoided even looking in mirrors if I didn't have to. I simply wasn't obsessing about it, that's all.
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regna
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-18 08:56 am (UTC)That's really such a good point. I still wasn't happy with my appearance then, I still had issues with food/diet/body image--all of it was there. It's so hard to remember that. I mean, when I was bigger, I *thought* I'd remember it, because I honestly didn't think I would feel the need to get skinny again when I started losing weight. I thought I would just lose some weight, get healthy, but wouldn't become a crazy person about it. I looked back at how thin I'd been in the past and how, even then, I wasn't pleased with my body, and I said, "damn, I don't even really care that much that I'm fat right now. In comparison, I should be fine if I just lose twenty pounds." But once the weight started dropping, my mindset became more & more extreme. Finding a middle-ground is not easy. Especially since in reality? Before I started losing weight again, I DID care that I was bigger. I just wasn't admitting it. I avoided even looking in mirrors if I didn't have to. I simply wasn't obsessing about it, that's all.