We'll tell our stories on these walls

[rachg82]

I'm sorry for going AWOL on you guys for so long, but I've been going through a lot these past few weeks, and I spent the last nine days in medical detox/inpatient treatment where there was no internet access. I plan on posting an entry talking about that later (hopefully by tomorrow, if not today), but in the meantime I wanted to recognize my LJ's 14th anniversary, which took place on 9/12. 14 years is a hell of a long time, and some of you have been with me from the beginning, so I wanted to celebrate that by taking a look back. Usually I do this sort of thing with quotes, but this time I decided to mix things up by choosing subject headings from over the years which made me either laugh or at least smile. I've also included a few photos throughout to keep things visually interesting.



2002:

9/13/02: "Spontaneity sucks monkey balls"

9/19/02: "Kiss my oompa loompa ass, fashion industry!"



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10/2/02: "It's NAKED TIME!"

10/11/02: "President Bizatch Bush is wiggety, wiggety wack, yo!"

10/21/02: "Time to break out ye olde menstruation huts again"

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11/10/02: "Bam! You've got genital diabetes!"

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12/1/02: "If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?"

12/15/02: "We are Oompa Loompady screwed"

12/31/02: "We're gonna have a dog, and he's gonna poopie in the front lawn"

2003:

1/24/03: "Gilbert, get out of the fire!"



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2/23/03: "The Department of Homeland Security: Working hard, to help you crap your pants"

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3/1/03: "Let me tell you a little story about a man named SHHH!"

3/10/03: "Does God have feet?"

3/26/03: "Cracker, whaaa? And I was like, cracker please!"

3/30/03: "Happy people make my ass twitch"

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4/30/04: "Robitussin? Non-narcotic, sissy pansies!"

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5/15/03: "Give up, and admit you're an asshole. You would be in some good company."

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7/7/03: "It's too damn hot for penguins to be runnin' around"

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11/22/03: "America: We Wash Our Asses"

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12/16/03: "I'll take "anal bum cover" for 600, Trebek"

2004:

1/8/04: "This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy"

1/15/04: "Try the Hot Pockets, they're breathtaking"

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2/22/04: "Titties and tatertots don't mix!"

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3/25/04: "I'm herpes, and I'll see you in Hell, motherfuckers"

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4/8/04: "What I lose in financial aid, I gain in testicles"

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5/3/04: "Take care of those titties!"

5/20/04: "Yeah, I farted. Jealous?"

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6/5/04: "She: Jodie Foster's foster child on a Payless budget"

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9/20/04: "This whole case is impossible!"

9/24/04: "This update's got a death curse!"

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10/1/04: "Vodka's awesomw" (oh, dear)



2006:

6/12/06: "Fuck you, bitch. That's what stairs are for."

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2009:

9/23/09: "God lives in London?"

9/26/09: "Check the sign, dude!"

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12/24/09: "Do we have to keep talking about religion? It's Christmas!"

12/25/09: "But there's food & there's people & there's a burger with a face!"



(Sweet baby Jesus, poor Jen's sunburned face)

2010:

1/7/10: "Oh, television. If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right"

1/10/10: "Are you out of your British mind?"

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3/23/10: "BSG: The "b" stands for bad-ass."

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4/1/10: "Boooooooooooones, I've missed yooooooooou"

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7/12/10: "Sooo I can shoot them"

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12/9/10: "Bitches get stuff done"



2011:

1/3/11: "You say obsessed. I say highly invested."

1/20/11: "Welcome to the Tillamook Ice Creamatorium"

1/29/11: "Welcome to fucking Portland!"

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2/19/11: "I believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning"

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3/17/11: "Soylent Green is GLUTEN"

3/29/11: "This is how we Montell Jordan"

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5/11/11: "Uh-huh, okay, whassup...SHUT UP"

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7/3/11: "You haven't seen my drawer of inappropriate starches?"

7/6/11: "Father, I had a feeling today." "Well, don't, son."

7/13/11: "Um, what a journal should be is a document of misery"

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8/9/11: "Tortoises & gay"

8/16/11: "Give me ridiculousness or give me death"

8/19/11: "Who puts their dog on a pole like a stripper?"

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10/7/11: "Activia is filled with tiny ghosts...whose purpose is to scare the poop out of you"

10/10/11: "Gus, don't be a myopic chihuahua"

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11/11/11: "Everybody stop! Let's acknowledge that the chief is wearing leopard print."

11/12/11: "What are you gonna do without tides, Peru?"



2012:

2/13/12: "A dandy hobo has a home in Portland."

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3/2/12: "You'd better check yourself before you Trebek yourself"

3/16/12: "It's about competition and seething hatred"

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4/30/12: "I'm not gonna RuPaulogize"

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5/3/12: "Jimmy left his Slip-N-Slide on the roof"

5/15/12: "Givin' a shit when it ain't your turn to give a shit"

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7/25/12: "You're in my fantasy -- you cannot tell me what to wear"



2013:

3/13/13: "The hills are alive with the sound of my fangirling"

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5/4/13: "Hot dogs of unusual lengths and gladiatorial justice"

5/11/13: "The liberal gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian"

5/27/13: "Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?"

2014:

5/3/14: "You "heart" me? What is that, like "I love you" for pussies?"

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12/6/14: "God, grant me the serenity to deal with other people seeking serenity."

2015:

5/16/15: "Panic! But not at the disco."

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7/16/15: "Back to your regularly scheduled midlife crisis"

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9/27/15: "Did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my ass?"

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10/7/15: "Can you hop off the spectrum for a sec?"

10/23/15: "Ben Carson, get off Hitler's dick"

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12/6/15: "What's next? Locusts?"

12/13/15: "There's a book! There's a plane! There's ALPHA CENTAURI!"

2016:

4/12/16: "This lady train's comin' down the tracks"

4/19/16: "Tick-the-fuck-Tock"

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8/30/16: "Butterflies with facial hair"

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