Taken out of context, I must seem so strange

[rachg82]

Swiped from auroura76:

1. Who are your current celebrity crushes? (Define "celebrity" however you want.)

David Duchovny, Jimmy Fallon, Seann William Scott, Omar Epps, Mekhi Phifer (except not with those locks he had in "8 Mile". For some reason, his head just looked really large, in that movie. I liked him better in "Clockers."), and. . .uh, damn. I KNOW there are so, so many others, but I just can't ever remember them all, when someone asks. And, well, there are some others I can think of, but I don't feel like going on forever. There's tons and tons of actors who I think are good looking, but I don't have big crushes on them. If I were really being strict about this, I'd only name Jimmy Fallon and David Duchovny. Because I really crush on those guys, but only think the rest are attractive (without being all girly and infatuated over them).

2. Who is your longest-lasting celebrity crush?

Oh, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Hee, I love that song. But yes, the answer would have to be my sweet, sexalicious David. Heh, "sexalicious."

3. Who is the celebrity crush most likely to identify you as a geek?

Maybe Duchovny, because it pretty much tells you I'm likely an X Phile, right off the bat. Hmm, and the fact that I actually say phile too, rather than simply "fan" probably doesn't score me many points on the coolness scale either, does it? Hee.

4. Who is the weirdest celebrity you ever had a crush on?

Sigh. Okay, so have you guys ever seen the movie "Mortal Kombat"? Remember the villian? You know, the old-ass Asian dude? Right, see, I knew he was old, and not even very good looking. Oh, and evil. But he was bad, in a sort of dark, dangerous way! He told people to "finish him!" And I was like "Finish me, while you're at, Shuang Tsu!" Hahaha. Oh my God, so embarassing. Yeah, my innocence in your guys' eyes is probably totally tarnished now, huh? I have a fondness for the baddies, what can I say? I had a crush on Jeremy Irons, in "Die Hard With A Vengeance" during that same period, too. I know, I had issues. (hee, "had". So very much in denial)

5. Who was your first celebrity crush? How old were you?

I don't remember how old I was, but I remember sticking a picture of Tom Selleck up on the wall, beside my bunk-bed. And, yes, I KNOW. Even if I can't remember the age, too, I know I was pretty young. My Mom, Nanny, and Corinne used to all watch "The Young And The Restless" every day, so yeah. My sister insists I had a crush on Patrick Swayze at like five or something, as well. We don't talk about that.

6. Do I even have to say it? ;-) (Or: Who do you want to do the unmentionable (aka SEX! There! I mentioned it!) with?)

Hmm, that's a tough one. Is this a one-time deal? Or is this guy going to be my new hubbie? Because if it were the latter, I'd be all about getting me some Jimmy, or David. Of course, I'd want to be magically older, if I went with David, because yeah. Wrongness. Hee. I mean, he is old enough to be my Dad. But if I were going to stay my age, I'd want Jimmy to be my babydaddy, because he's cute and funny.

And, of course, there's lots of other comedians/celebrities who I'd want to be with, but am just not as physically attracted to. Like, stand-up comics, or actors whose wives--or future wives--are really lucky to have them, I think. Even though I don't necessarily want their bods. I'm talking Dane Cook, Mike Myers, Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart, Johnny Sanchez, Adam Sandler, etc. People who are funny, and smart, and would probably be wonderful to have around in your life. Like, seriously, what a great constant source of cheer and entertainment. Dane Cook and Johnny Sanchez are cute, though. But I don't salivate over them, normally. Although Dane looked pretty damn good, that time on Jay Leno, when fishy told me to watch. Mmm. Hee.

But, anyway, if it were a one-night type of deal, I'd go with either Omar or Mekhi, or someone like that ("someone" meaning another guy who has a great body like them, and nice eyes. Both have nice eyes, in case y'all haven't noticed. Heh. They're intense). I pick them because I don't really know anything about their personalities, and their bodies? Well, I'm not mad at them. Heh.

7. Who is the celebrity you are most embarrassed to admit you have a crush on?

Now? None of them. But it's a different story, talking about past crushes.

I love how I started that meme, intending to give short, concise answers. Hahaha. Once again: denial!

My day was all right. Experienced slight anxiety about class, but it was okay. In fact, by the time we had our break, I bought a cinnamon roll, and ate it with a fork, right there in class. Heh, that sounds so bizarre, by itself. But still, that was good. Especially considering I had a hard time drinking in class, for a second, at first.

I didn't want to go to class, because I'm a slacker, and because I felt a little nauseous (and nervous). But, obviously, I went. The hesitation of not wanting to go wasn't very serious, anyway. Just a momentary thought, as I was getting ready, like "Do I really haaaaaave to go?" Heh. I knew it was mostly just because of the same old anxiety as always, though, so I was like "Whatever, you're going."

Good thing I did, because it looks like that's not the kind of class you'd want to miss. Not because it's so fun or exciting, but because the lectures are like insane. You'd be totally screwed, missing one. I mean, it's inevitable that someone is going to get sick during the term, at least once, and they'll (or I'll) have to make do. But it'll be a pain, I'm sure. Because so much stuff is covered in class; it would just be really hard to make it up.

I looked pretty good tonight, too, if I may say so myself. Heh. I'm unhappy about my weight, right now, but it's not so bad yet that I really look all that different with my clothes on. But anyway, I had a good hair and makeup day. And I was wearing my dark stretch jeans, and a dark red top, and looked all curvy, and dare I say? Sass-ay. Haha. Okay, no. But I looked okay. I got some looks.

I was having a shy day, though, so I wasn't able to really smile back very well. Sometimes, when I catch someone looking at me, I try to smile, but my face is kind of frozen. The smile ends up sort of small, and tight, and then I just look away. At least those times I try, though. I mean, rather than looking away without even attempting a smile. It just depends on my mood, I guess. Because other times, I smile at people much easier. Although if it's an attractive, young guy? Well, then it's pretty much always hard. Of course, it's difficult sometimes with women, too. But that's more of a "depends" thing.

Hey, that's a quirk I could've put on that survey, the other day. Not that I have a hard time making eye contact and smiling at strangers, necessarily, but that I'm kind of weird about eye contact in general. When I talk to people, even if it's people I'm close to, I often don't look right at them. If I'm listening to them, I mean. Sometimes, this isn't true, of course, but it's just something I've become aware of. I have a hard time concentrating on what the person is saying, and not getting distracted, if I don't look away. I start looking at their faces, or get self conscious about how my own face looks. Yes, I'm weird, I know. It's just the whole "no likey people looking at me" thing, again. But in a different way. You guys can imagine then, I'm sure, how it was for me the few times I kissed a guy. Because you know how the whole "stare deeply into one another's eyes" thing is expected.

Anyway, speaking of people smiling and staring, Question Quigley keeps trying to catch my eye, and smile at me. And, hey, I don't want to be mean. I'd like to smile back, because he's a fellow human being, and I don't want him to feel bad. But at the same time, if you smile back at a guy, sometimes that can be taken as a sign that you're open to him trying to get a piece. And I really don't want Mullet Boy trying to get anywhere near my piece. Heh. So I feel like such a bitch in that class, because he's tried to smile at me numerous times, and I totally look away, trying to ignore him. But it's like, dude, take a hint.

Sigh, why do I always attract the nerds and weirdos? And you know I don't mean nerds as in cool nerds, like you guys, or me. Hee. I mean annoying nerds, who you try to avoid. Of course, he might just be friendly, and so I hate not smiling back, because I don't want to be mean. But, like I said, smiling at a guy definitely invites further attempts at conversation, and sends a signal that I don't want to send. I don't even want to invite conversation with him, really. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but he's kind of annoying. He says "Is it not true" and "Is it not so?" constantly. And talks all slow, and kind of nasally. And did I mention he wears penny loafers? Because he does. Not that there's anything wrong with loafers, by themselves (I emphasize this, because I just know one of you will be all "I love loafers!" now. Heh.). One of my favorite teachers in High School wore them everyday. They're fine, really. But, dude, loafers and a mullet? That's just. . .wrong, somehow. Heh. Hey, I never said I had to make sense. Of course, if he didn't bug me on his own, I'd totally brush this all aside, and forgive it. And yes, sorry, but mullets are something which require forgiveness. Haha. Don't act like you don't know what I mean.

I remember when dosidella was all "I refuse to believe you could ever be evil." Still so sure, dosi? I told you I had an evil snob in me, hidden underneath all the angelic niceness. I get it from my parents, I think. I am so less judgmental than them though. For real. And of course, regardless of my making fun, I don't think less of a person for real, for stupid shit like mullets or whatever. People's personalities are more than enough to take care of that. Heh. I suppose that's where my real "diluted water of evil" shows through again. Damn't. The fact that I feel the need to defend myself and explain myself so thoroughly too, just for laughing at a guy's hairstyle, probably also taints my evil rep too, doesn't it? Yeah. Heh. Aw, well, I might as well give in to my true colors: An occasionally snobby goodie-two-shoes. Who can't even give in to the dang snobbiness without mea culpa-ing.

People totally want to jump him (and not in a good way), in that class, though. Haha. I can't believe he never hears the "God, shut up already"s that are muttered, when he talks. Of course, I don't think that's appropriate for people to say that. I mean, it's rude, and immature. If you have a problem with him, say it to him directly, or talk to the teacher. But, at the same time, I want him to shut the Hell up, too. So, hey.

Not every question he asks, or comment he makes, is bad. He just talks too damn much, when most of it is unnecessary. For God's sake, he sits right in the front row. Center, too. And he'll answer for the teacher, sometimes, when a person asks a question. Like, I'm sorry, are you the teacher? Did I miss seeing your name on this syllabus? No? Then SHUTTIE. (heh, and yes, I got "shuttie" from Kevin James)

I want to like the teacher, and he isn't horrible, but I'm not crazy about him either. When he made it clear that he couldn't allow lots of long tangeants or debates, at least early on in the class, I appreciated that. Because I signed up for the class to learn from the teacher, not listen to Joe Schmoe ramble about his opinions on the middle east. I mean, not unless he really has something interesting to say. Maybe later on in the class, when more learning has been done, but it drives me batty when classes are taken over by people, consistently, and no real learning is actually accomplished. Like, in my Asian Philosophy class, a few years ago, there was this girl who would always try to start talking about what she thought of everything. And, hey, that's fine, in moderation. But when the person is just rambling all the time, without that much real knowledge of the subject yet, and you're waiting for them to shut up so you can actually LEARN again from the teacher, it's fucking annoying.

I also don't mind if he says to someone "I'll be getting to that, so hold onto that question." That's fine. But he kind of takes it too far. He makes you feel like you're being a nuisance by asking a simple question. Like, if you raise your hand, you can just see the "Must get through question as quick as possible, must get back to lecture. Oh no, another hand!" cross his face. It doesn't exactly make you feel welcome to ask questions, and I don't think that fosters a very good learning environment.

He's just kind of annoying about it, honestly. Because he goes overboard. Case in point: At the beginning of class, we discuss the news, right? And he asked us if we had anything to bring up, from the news. Now, I assume this means anything in the news this week regarding the middle east in general. So I raise my hand to bring up Sharon, and the recent talks about conceding Jewish settlements. And he was like "I can't answer that question, blah blah stutter-stutter, blah blah." And I said "I wasn't asking a question." But then he just stuttered out "That's just something I can't answer right now, that's a subject we'll get into" (acting all flustered, and shit) and I was like "yeah, I didn't ask a question. I just said it, because I saw it on the news." Like, pop a fucking xanax, dude. I'm sorry, I thought you wanted us to mention things we'd heard in the news, and that's what everyone else was doing. You didn't say it had to be about just Syria, and Iraq, today. God. That irritated me.

He also got on my nerves later on. He'd put this name on the board, and never explained the relevance (he speeds through the information super-quick), and was turning his back to the class and racing on to the next point, so I just asked (without raising my hand, which others would do sometimes, too, if they couldn't catch his attention) "I'm sorry, but who was Muhammed Ahmed?" And, I'm not even kidding here, he said something like "Quiet." Not necessarily that exactly, but basically that kind of thing. All like "No talking, must continue lecture." A couple other students started trying to answer me, so he turned around and answered. All he had to do to answer me was say these little words: "He was the madhi. Oh, I didn't write that down?" Yeah, you didn't. Asshole.

If he passes out anything at the end of the term to ask us to rate his teaching, I will remember that. Because, seriously, I don't fucking appreciate being told to be quiet, when asking a simple ON-TOPIC question about the lecture. I don't like the way he acts to the students, regarding questions and discussion. He takes it way too far. I understand that the subject is massive, and he's trying to squeeze a five credit course into a three credit one, but too bad. He isn't a new teacher. In fact, I think he said he's been teaching about the middle east for twenty odd years. He should know by now how to plan his curriculum so that people can ask goddamn questions, and say more than two words in a row without him interrupting them all spastically. He could totally knock so much of his lecture out, and just teach about those things in more general terms. He's trying to cover a lot more history than is even necessary, in more detail than is needed.

So, that sucks. Because having a comfortable and positive learning environment is important in your enjoyment of a class, I think. I know I could be liking the class a lot more, were it taught by a teacher more like, say, my old sociology teacher (who was awesome). Even so, shit happens. It's got to be expected that you'll have so-so teachers, who are okay, but sometimes irritate you with their teaching style, or whatever. Just goes with the territory. At least I like learning about the subject matter. Today, we went from the 1400s to the early 20th century. Covering stuff from the Ottoman Empire to Napolean, to the Barbary states, to the Suez Canal, to the Berlin Conference and European imperialism in Northern Africa, and on and on and on. Yeah, you thought I was playing, when I said the lecture was insane, didn't you?

So, it's all good. Because I *heart* history. Heh.

Moving on, it rained like mad again, today. It's weird, because we had a really mild winter, the last couple years, without as much rain as usual, and then this month itself has been like record-breaking with the rain. If I had to pick a word to describe it, the last few days, it'd be "torrential." If that paints the picture for y'all, a little better.

After I got home, I watched "Maid In Manhattan" with la madre. Kind of dumb, but fun. I can't stand those kinds of plots, though. Like kopernik was saying about "I Love Lucy" in her survey, the other day, I have a hard time watching people make a fool of themselves. Or lying. I get all tense, watching it. Heh. Like "Why can't you just tell the truth already? SIGH!" It wasn't torturous though, but it's not a movie I'd rent again.

I can't remember now, did I say already the other day that Corinne and Lance are leaning more toward Jayden, as a name for the baby? Everyone likes it, and likes the meaning too. Let's hope it sticks, because I want to have a name to call the baby, already! Heh. They're thinking they'd spell it Jayden, rather than Jaden (both are acceptable spellings), because it's less likely to be mispronounced that way. Like, with Jaden, the kid might be destined to a life of "Ja-deen? Ja-dinn?" With Jayden, it's a little harder to fuck up. This is important to Corinne, after 24 years of "Cor-een? Core-in?" Heh. Like "It's Corinne, damn't! Just like Corrine! Jackass!"

Meanwhile, I get "Rachelle" a lot (like Rah-shell). Sometimes, "Michelle", too. Don't know why, I must look like one. As for Rachelle, well, who knows. People can't read. Heh. And don't even get me started on my last name.

I've had crazy dreams, lately. I had a premonition-dream about TWoP recapping Farscape. Heh. In my dream, Glark was there, for some odd reason, talking about it, and I remember thinking "Oh, scorpysue won't like that." Then, today, I read her journal, and she says she heard that might happen. Oh, and? I dreamt about sunburns last night too, and sonneta was involved, and guess what she wrote about in her journal today? Getting burnt! Weeeeeiiiird.

I also dreamt I was going to visit jasminelily. And I dreamt that Peppy started ragging on me for being "weak", because I had a hard time moving a rack. And she was bitching me out for yawning too much, and my anxiety and stuff. That sucked. I totally stood up to her in my dream, though, and I remember thinking "Oh, my online friends will be proud." Heh.

'Kay, that's it for now. Here's the Picture of the Day (both for Tuesday, and Wednesday): April 15th, and April Showers Bring May Flowers (April 16th).

Comments

[goodfish.livejournal.com]

Although if it's an attractive, young guy? Well, then it's pretty much always hard. Of course, it's difficult sometimes with women, too.

GAY! Oooh Rachie, I dont think we've ever had such solid evidence of your total GAYNESS before. (by gay, I mean bi.)


I suppose that's where my real "diluted water of evil" shows through again.

Huh, I thought the whole thing was diet coke of evil. Or is that the point, you arent even evil enough to be diet coke?

I cant remember if I commented earlier, but I like Jayden, too. Fits.

Re:

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

Heh, you suck. Women make me nervous for different reasons than men!

Yeah, the "diluted water of evil" is because I'm not even evil enough to be the diet coke of evil. Haha.

[kopernik.livejournal.com]

Hee, I love Fishy.

I always pronounce Rachael "Rashelle." I think the first Rachael I met said it like that. So, yes, I say your name completely wrong and probably always will.

[jasminelily.livejournal.com]

Laurie, your icon ROCKS!

Everyone should have dreams about visiting me.