Let them eat cake
Jan. 28th, 2010 01:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rachg82The calendar is trying to tell me that I'm 28 years old today. Well, yesterday actually since now it's past midnight, but whatever. I personally think it's lying because I swear I was just 21 last week. Damn, time is some weird shit, you know? One minute you're this:
. . .and the next minute you're two years away from 30 and wondering how the hell it happened. What's that about?
Anyway, so my birthday was all right I guess.
First, to get it out of the way, here's the sucky stuff:
-I'm PMSing. This does not equal good things.
-For the second time this month, I woke up with a migraine & had to miss work. FML. (I have a doctor's appointment next week though, so hopefully there's something else we can try for the ones that are too bad for imitrex to help)
-My mom was depressed & mopey all night. She said it was because she was feeling sorry for herself about her kidneys, but I found out afterward that she tried to fill a pain pill prescription today & got denied. Coincidence? Doubtful.
-My sister was depressed & mopey all night as well. GOOD TIMES. For party favors we could've just handed out anti-depressants.
-My brother in law was pissy about something (likely the same reason my sister was mopey, but I don't know. I didn't ask) and sat out in the living room like a rude asshole the entire evening. He didn't say ONE WORD to me all night until I left. He didn't even come into the kitchen to eat with us. FUCK YOU, FUCKER. NEXT TIME DON'T COME.
On the non-sucky side of things:
-Jayden was there & kept calling me "Birthday Girl" all night. He also deemed me the "boss" of the evening because of my Birthday Girl status. He then made me laugh by insisting on using two forks & one spoon to eat his dinner because he quote "likes to mix it up." Haha. God, I love him.
-Isabella was there as well, and kept clapping & laughing at everything. We had a bonding moment when I tried to teach her how to hop. Ah, to be a one year old again.
-I got Victoria's Secret perfume ("Heavenly", for those who are curious) as a gift from my mom & stepdad. I'd run out of my old perfume months ago, and really wanted more for my birthday but didn't think anyone could afford it (my whole family is dead broke right now). So that was a pleasant surprise.
-On the same note, my sister couldn't afford to get me anything yet, but made a card for me with my nephew's help that had two fake movie-tickets drawn on it. We're supposed to go this weekend, although I have no idea what we'll see yet. Point is though, she's way too much of a restless/impatient person to enjoy sitting in a theater very often, but she knows I love it. Hence the thoughtfulness of the gift.
-The birthday card I received from my mom & stepdad. On the front it says:
"Which do you most want for your birthday?
1. A lap dance from Ginger? *arrow points to half naked blonde chick*
2. A monkey
3. A ride in a fire engine
4. A plasma TV
5. A bug zapper
On the inside:
"You didn't even bother to read 2-5, did you?"
HEE. Apparently my mom picked it out. She got a huge hug for that, because I love how supportive she is about my orientation, and because it made me laugh. Also? I have never really talked about it with my stepdad, aside from a few times when it was hinted at, so it's nice to be reminded he's cool with it too.
-And speaking of my stepdad, we started talking about my dad on the way home--which made me cry--and he reached out & held my hand. My stepdad is NOT an openly affectionate person by nature. The crying part I obviously could've done without, but the support really touched me. In an odd way, although the conversation turned on the waterworks, it made the whole day better. Sometimes you need to just let it out, you know?
-I had tons of "Happy Birthday" messages online today. That was lovely. It may be vain, but it's nice to be remembered.
-When I went to pick up my refill for imitrex today, there was a different pharmacist there than usual ("temping for the day", according to her) and she gave me $90 off my prescription for no reason, just to be nice. I think I told her she was awesome about three times. Heh. I totally took that as my birthday gift from the universe, btw.
-I finally made an appointment tonight to get my hair done in a couple weeks. This is random, I know, but I'd been meaning to do it forever so it's a good thing. I've been kind of thinking about maybe (possibly, perhaps, we shall see) checking out online dating, and I wouldn't want to try that without feeling at least vaguely cute first. I really don't know if I'll end up having the nerve to do it though, because it kind of freaks me out, but I'm tired of getting nowhere with the whole dating thing. I mean, I'm 28 now & I haven't been on a date in three years. Clearly I need some extra assistance in this arena. Maybe online dating would be a place to start, who knows.
-And finally, in the "both good & bad" category: I finally heard from my dad & stepmom, although I accidentally deleted the message from my dad before I could listen to it & I didn't actually talk to him. But they did at least call & I did talk to my stepmom. Apparently my dad has a job in Tucson, which is where he's been living during the work-weeks (returning home to Phoenix on the weekends), so that explains why he didn't ask to speak with me when I called those times in October. Of course it doesn't explain why he almost never calls me on his own otherwise though (and why he barely talks to me when I call him), or why he didn't call me back on Christmas, or why he didn't call me to tell me my uncle is dying when he found out two months ago. But at least now I have an explanation for what happened in October. As for what happened on Christmas, she had no explanation for me. It was just all "oh, we never called you? Are you sure? I thought your dad did. Well, I called you tonight!" Like, great. I mean, yes, I appreciate the check & I appreciate the call now, but that doesn't really change the fact that you couldn't be bothered to call me then. Especially since I called you. And sent a gift. I am proud of myself though for the fact that I didn't say "oh, it's okay," like I usually would've in the past. I told her it made me sad, and I didn't let her off the hook by glossing over it. And when she was like "didn't you know your dad was in Tucson?", I was like "I haven't talked to him since June, Mary. I don't know anything." In other words, I'm done dancing around things. You hurt me and you should know it. I'm not gonna be mean about it, but I'm also not gonna pretend it didn't happen either & act all fake-nice like we always do.
Afterward, she said she'd call him & have him call me because she was "sure he'd want to talk to [me]", but he never did. To be fair, they're an hour ahead of me, so he may have already been in bed at that point. But it'll be interesting to see if he calls me this weekend, since I told her to tell him he could call then if he didn't have a chance tonight. I'm not holding my breath, honestly. I am glad I took the high road though & asked her to tell him I'm sorry about my uncle (which I am), and I'm glad I was honest about my feelings. Now it's up to them to decide whether those feelings matter.
Anyway, that's about it. Not one of my best birthdays, I'm sorry to say. But it wasn't all bad either. Can't win 'em all, right?
P.S. I still plan to catch up more on my TV posts this week if I can. Ideally I'd like to get caught up on Dollhouse by the time the finale airs on Friday and then Bones & Caprica sometime by then as well, but we'll see. It depends how rambly I get. Heh. Oh, and by the way? I am still totally in denial over the fact that Dollhouse is even having a finale this week. I AM NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY DEWITT, PEOPLE. IT'S NOT FAIR.
For my Vid of the Day, I can't resist posting this one by Charmax. Appropriate song is appropriate, yo. (Why yes, I do enjoy dark humor. Why do you ask? Heh.)
. . .and the next minute you're two years away from 30 and wondering how the hell it happened. What's that about?
Anyway, so my birthday was all right I guess.
First, to get it out of the way, here's the sucky stuff:
-I'm PMSing. This does not equal good things.
-For the second time this month, I woke up with a migraine & had to miss work. FML. (I have a doctor's appointment next week though, so hopefully there's something else we can try for the ones that are too bad for imitrex to help)
-My mom was depressed & mopey all night. She said it was because she was feeling sorry for herself about her kidneys, but I found out afterward that she tried to fill a pain pill prescription today & got denied. Coincidence? Doubtful.
-My sister was depressed & mopey all night as well. GOOD TIMES. For party favors we could've just handed out anti-depressants.
-My brother in law was pissy about something (likely the same reason my sister was mopey, but I don't know. I didn't ask) and sat out in the living room like a rude asshole the entire evening. He didn't say ONE WORD to me all night until I left. He didn't even come into the kitchen to eat with us. FUCK YOU, FUCKER. NEXT TIME DON'T COME.
On the non-sucky side of things:
-Jayden was there & kept calling me "Birthday Girl" all night. He also deemed me the "boss" of the evening because of my Birthday Girl status. He then made me laugh by insisting on using two forks & one spoon to eat his dinner because he quote "likes to mix it up." Haha. God, I love him.
-Isabella was there as well, and kept clapping & laughing at everything. We had a bonding moment when I tried to teach her how to hop. Ah, to be a one year old again.
-I got Victoria's Secret perfume ("Heavenly", for those who are curious) as a gift from my mom & stepdad. I'd run out of my old perfume months ago, and really wanted more for my birthday but didn't think anyone could afford it (my whole family is dead broke right now). So that was a pleasant surprise.
-On the same note, my sister couldn't afford to get me anything yet, but made a card for me with my nephew's help that had two fake movie-tickets drawn on it. We're supposed to go this weekend, although I have no idea what we'll see yet. Point is though, she's way too much of a restless/impatient person to enjoy sitting in a theater very often, but she knows I love it. Hence the thoughtfulness of the gift.
-The birthday card I received from my mom & stepdad. On the front it says:
"Which do you most want for your birthday?
1. A lap dance from Ginger? *arrow points to half naked blonde chick*
2. A monkey
3. A ride in a fire engine
4. A plasma TV
5. A bug zapper
On the inside:
"You didn't even bother to read 2-5, did you?"
HEE. Apparently my mom picked it out. She got a huge hug for that, because I love how supportive she is about my orientation, and because it made me laugh. Also? I have never really talked about it with my stepdad, aside from a few times when it was hinted at, so it's nice to be reminded he's cool with it too.
-And speaking of my stepdad, we started talking about my dad on the way home--which made me cry--and he reached out & held my hand. My stepdad is NOT an openly affectionate person by nature. The crying part I obviously could've done without, but the support really touched me. In an odd way, although the conversation turned on the waterworks, it made the whole day better. Sometimes you need to just let it out, you know?
-I had tons of "Happy Birthday" messages online today. That was lovely. It may be vain, but it's nice to be remembered.
-When I went to pick up my refill for imitrex today, there was a different pharmacist there than usual ("temping for the day", according to her) and she gave me $90 off my prescription for no reason, just to be nice. I think I told her she was awesome about three times. Heh. I totally took that as my birthday gift from the universe, btw.
-I finally made an appointment tonight to get my hair done in a couple weeks. This is random, I know, but I'd been meaning to do it forever so it's a good thing. I've been kind of thinking about maybe (possibly, perhaps, we shall see) checking out online dating, and I wouldn't want to try that without feeling at least vaguely cute first. I really don't know if I'll end up having the nerve to do it though, because it kind of freaks me out, but I'm tired of getting nowhere with the whole dating thing. I mean, I'm 28 now & I haven't been on a date in three years. Clearly I need some extra assistance in this arena. Maybe online dating would be a place to start, who knows.
-And finally, in the "both good & bad" category: I finally heard from my dad & stepmom, although I accidentally deleted the message from my dad before I could listen to it & I didn't actually talk to him. But they did at least call & I did talk to my stepmom. Apparently my dad has a job in Tucson, which is where he's been living during the work-weeks (returning home to Phoenix on the weekends), so that explains why he didn't ask to speak with me when I called those times in October. Of course it doesn't explain why he almost never calls me on his own otherwise though (and why he barely talks to me when I call him), or why he didn't call me back on Christmas, or why he didn't call me to tell me my uncle is dying when he found out two months ago. But at least now I have an explanation for what happened in October. As for what happened on Christmas, she had no explanation for me. It was just all "oh, we never called you? Are you sure? I thought your dad did. Well, I called you tonight!" Like, great. I mean, yes, I appreciate the check & I appreciate the call now, but that doesn't really change the fact that you couldn't be bothered to call me then. Especially since I called you. And sent a gift. I am proud of myself though for the fact that I didn't say "oh, it's okay," like I usually would've in the past. I told her it made me sad, and I didn't let her off the hook by glossing over it. And when she was like "didn't you know your dad was in Tucson?", I was like "I haven't talked to him since June, Mary. I don't know anything." In other words, I'm done dancing around things. You hurt me and you should know it. I'm not gonna be mean about it, but I'm also not gonna pretend it didn't happen either & act all fake-nice like we always do.
Afterward, she said she'd call him & have him call me because she was "sure he'd want to talk to [me]", but he never did. To be fair, they're an hour ahead of me, so he may have already been in bed at that point. But it'll be interesting to see if he calls me this weekend, since I told her to tell him he could call then if he didn't have a chance tonight. I'm not holding my breath, honestly. I am glad I took the high road though & asked her to tell him I'm sorry about my uncle (which I am), and I'm glad I was honest about my feelings. Now it's up to them to decide whether those feelings matter.
Anyway, that's about it. Not one of my best birthdays, I'm sorry to say. But it wasn't all bad either. Can't win 'em all, right?
P.S. I still plan to catch up more on my TV posts this week if I can. Ideally I'd like to get caught up on Dollhouse by the time the finale airs on Friday and then Bones & Caprica sometime by then as well, but we'll see. It depends how rambly I get. Heh. Oh, and by the way? I am still totally in denial over the fact that Dollhouse is even having a finale this week. I AM NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY DEWITT, PEOPLE. IT'S NOT FAIR.
For my Vid of the Day, I can't resist posting this one by Charmax. Appropriate song is appropriate, yo. (Why yes, I do enjoy dark humor. Why do you ask? Heh.)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-28 08:42 pm (UTC)Dude, tell me about it. I think at least a quarter of my twenties have been spent experiencing an existential crisis. Heh.
And yes, kid-shaped cuties make everything better!