Flu of Death

Okay, this post is 100% just to whine and complain. I have had the flu for seriously about four days now and I am so over it. I thought I would be able to go back to work today because I was starting to feel better in some ways yesterday, but the Vomit Olympics just started again this morning and I'm pretty sure there's a little dude with a torch (you know, 'cuz of the olympics and all) running around the walls of my intestines just to mock me.

Flu? Kindly frak off and die.

(Really though, I told my boss I'd probably just plan to come back Monday, as I think that's a safe bet I'll be fully okay by then, but this is so damn lame. This is the worst possible timing to be losing all this money by having to stay home. Mark my words, if I am not better by tomorrow, I may start self-flagellating like the people back in the days of the plague. I'm just saying. You are on notice, immune system.)