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Obligatory drunk post
Apr. 11th, 2010 12:50 amI'm not really drunk though. I only had two drinks (a Long Island Iced Tea & a Rum and Coke). But I am focusing kinda hard on typing this, so uh yeah. Heh. Apparently my already low tolerances + Topamax do = at least a bit of drunky drunkenness (probably didn't help either that all I ate today was a bowl of cereal & a cheeseburger though). I think I'm gonna wait a while before I take it tonight. Though I'm tired and would like to just go to bed. But I don't want to skip a dose either. Hmm. Decisions, decisions.
As for how it went, it was actually fun. We caught up & laughed a lot, and it was nice to see her again. I finally found out why that bartender got so mad at us that time (remember when we were kicked out of the bar before we broke up? And she got called a dyke?). Apparently she didn't tip her enough. Not that that excuses the homophobic slur, but at least now I understand why the bartender was out-of-nowhere mad. Heh. And then we cracked up for like two minutes straight about falling in a snowy ditch on the way home afterward. Hee. Ah, drunken memories.
Oh, and by the way, we totes went to a gay bar. A lesbian bar in fact. First one I've ever been to! And their drinks were hella cheap! A rum and coke & beer cost EIGHT DOLLARS! (we're talking total) I think I love them. We both agreed that next time we'd go to the bar down the street for gay men, because they are apparently more exciting and have actual drag shows, and omg I've always wanted to see a drag show. But at least now I get to say I've finally been to a frakkin' gay bar, and it was cool because I saw a guy in a tiara, and one lady blatantly checked me out, and the bartender was this adorable gay guy who was all friendly, and I got to stare at this group of girls rockin' it to Lady Gaga without even remotely hiding it, and all in all it was fun gaytimes (and Amy kept making me laugh by saying shit like "this is pretty gay." Hahahaha). Let's hear it for gay bars!
Also, I feel like I finally got closure on the whole "what do I want with Amy" question, because now I know. I am still attracted to her--she is adorable, and we still have chemistry--but we should just be friends. She and I talked a lot about dating stuff, and she was complaining about how girls always use her & treat her like the "backup" chick, and I don't want to do that to her. I've never been in love with her, and we've already been down the road of dating once, which led to her developing stronger feelings for me than I did for her, and I'm not gonna date her again just because I think she's cute when I know she's going to feel something more than I do, and I'm really just waiting for something better to come along. I'm not that kind of person. And just because she's willing to settle for that, and does it all the time, doesn't mean I think it's right to let her do that. Because I'm her friend, you know? But the cool thing is we talked about the dating stuff, and somehow in there it became clear that "hey, we're just gonna be friends," and I could tell there was a little disappointment in there for her for a sec (I don't think she expected a relationship, but possibly something), but then it turned around & we were cool. And I think we will be cool. And that's. . .well, cool. Hee. Okay, here's where the alcohol is obviously affecting my writing abilities.
Sucks though, because I wouldn't mind. . .okay, shut up, Rachael. Hahaha.
Anyway, so we're probably gonna hit up another bar soon, and definitely go see that new Nightmare on Elm Street movie when it comes out, because she & I both love cheesy horror movies (when we dated, we used to marathon the fuck out of '80s slasher flicks). Good times. I'm so glad it looks like we might be able to become friends again. She really is a lot of fun to hang out with, even if I don't have some super deep connection with her. But I laugh when I'm with her like every second, and I could use some laughter in my life right about now.
Speaking of reasons I could use some laughter: my sister finally called me right before I left, and I was like, "Oh, I thought you were gonna be Amy; she's about to pick me up," and she was like, "sorry to disappoint." And I said, "No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just, I'd really like to talk to you, but I'm literally about to walk out the door." And she jumped all over me, like "you've really hurt me" and "that's fine, just turn your back on me like everyone else. You think your friends know everything," (which, wtf? I haven't even talked to her about what my friends think) and I was like, "what? Corinne, you're not being fair. I do want to talk to you, but I'm about to leave. My response to you was legitimate the last time you called. I told you months ago that I didn't want to talk you about Lance anymore & you said you'd understood that." And then she was like, "you're not my friend. Fuck you" and hung up. So. . .right. And she was crying, so I felt bad for her. But seriously, I'm not playing her game. I'm focusing on me right now and she needs to get her ass some counseling & take care of her own drama for once. There's nothing I can do for her that I haven't already done a million times over. Bottom line is, she's not my friend to still be asking me to be there for her to the extent that she expects through this shit when I've told her what it does to me. It's not okay.
Anyway. So that's that. As my girl Mary J. Blige would say, "No more drama in my life!" Instead, I prefer booze! Hahaha. Okay, not really. But after the gay bar tonight & a few drinks, I'm a little punchy. Night all.
As for how it went, it was actually fun. We caught up & laughed a lot, and it was nice to see her again. I finally found out why that bartender got so mad at us that time (remember when we were kicked out of the bar before we broke up? And she got called a dyke?). Apparently she didn't tip her enough. Not that that excuses the homophobic slur, but at least now I understand why the bartender was out-of-nowhere mad. Heh. And then we cracked up for like two minutes straight about falling in a snowy ditch on the way home afterward. Hee. Ah, drunken memories.
Oh, and by the way, we totes went to a gay bar. A lesbian bar in fact. First one I've ever been to! And their drinks were hella cheap! A rum and coke & beer cost EIGHT DOLLARS! (we're talking total) I think I love them. We both agreed that next time we'd go to the bar down the street for gay men, because they are apparently more exciting and have actual drag shows, and omg I've always wanted to see a drag show. But at least now I get to say I've finally been to a frakkin' gay bar, and it was cool because I saw a guy in a tiara, and one lady blatantly checked me out, and the bartender was this adorable gay guy who was all friendly, and I got to stare at this group of girls rockin' it to Lady Gaga without even remotely hiding it, and all in all it was fun gaytimes (and Amy kept making me laugh by saying shit like "this is pretty gay." Hahahaha). Let's hear it for gay bars!
Also, I feel like I finally got closure on the whole "what do I want with Amy" question, because now I know. I am still attracted to her--she is adorable, and we still have chemistry--but we should just be friends. She and I talked a lot about dating stuff, and she was complaining about how girls always use her & treat her like the "backup" chick, and I don't want to do that to her. I've never been in love with her, and we've already been down the road of dating once, which led to her developing stronger feelings for me than I did for her, and I'm not gonna date her again just because I think she's cute when I know she's going to feel something more than I do, and I'm really just waiting for something better to come along. I'm not that kind of person. And just because she's willing to settle for that, and does it all the time, doesn't mean I think it's right to let her do that. Because I'm her friend, you know? But the cool thing is we talked about the dating stuff, and somehow in there it became clear that "hey, we're just gonna be friends," and I could tell there was a little disappointment in there for her for a sec (I don't think she expected a relationship, but possibly something), but then it turned around & we were cool. And I think we will be cool. And that's. . .well, cool. Hee. Okay, here's where the alcohol is obviously affecting my writing abilities.
Sucks though, because I wouldn't mind. . .okay, shut up, Rachael. Hahaha.
Anyway, so we're probably gonna hit up another bar soon, and definitely go see that new Nightmare on Elm Street movie when it comes out, because she & I both love cheesy horror movies (when we dated, we used to marathon the fuck out of '80s slasher flicks). Good times. I'm so glad it looks like we might be able to become friends again. She really is a lot of fun to hang out with, even if I don't have some super deep connection with her. But I laugh when I'm with her like every second, and I could use some laughter in my life right about now.
Speaking of reasons I could use some laughter: my sister finally called me right before I left, and I was like, "Oh, I thought you were gonna be Amy; she's about to pick me up," and she was like, "sorry to disappoint." And I said, "No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just, I'd really like to talk to you, but I'm literally about to walk out the door." And she jumped all over me, like "you've really hurt me" and "that's fine, just turn your back on me like everyone else. You think your friends know everything," (which, wtf? I haven't even talked to her about what my friends think) and I was like, "what? Corinne, you're not being fair. I do want to talk to you, but I'm about to leave. My response to you was legitimate the last time you called. I told you months ago that I didn't want to talk you about Lance anymore & you said you'd understood that." And then she was like, "you're not my friend. Fuck you" and hung up. So. . .right. And she was crying, so I felt bad for her. But seriously, I'm not playing her game. I'm focusing on me right now and she needs to get her ass some counseling & take care of her own drama for once. There's nothing I can do for her that I haven't already done a million times over. Bottom line is, she's not my friend to still be asking me to be there for her to the extent that she expects through this shit when I've told her what it does to me. It's not okay.
Anyway. So that's that. As my girl Mary J. Blige would say, "No more drama in my life!" Instead, I prefer booze! Hahaha. Okay, not really. But after the gay bar tonight & a few drinks, I'm a little punchy. Night all.
