This just in: I hate people

So, I'm in the middle of getting ready to leave for Dani's party, but I am so effing irritated by the human race right now that I need a venting session. On the count of three: one. . .two. . .three!

1. Dear Wendy's staff,

It's a crispy chicken sandwich with cheese, no veggies or sauce. NOT COMPLICATED. Therefore, I'm not sure I understand why you fuck it up every single time I order it. I even *repeat it*, just in case it's too confusing for you. "JUST CHICKEN & CHEESE, NOTHING ELSE." You then look at me & act like you understand, BUT YOU DON'T.

*cue me a minute later, checking my order*

"Uhhh, there's no cheese on this."

Now, if English were your second language, I'd be cool with it. But it's not! Even so, you're a fast food employee and I understand it's your mission in life to fuck up my order. Such is my lot in life for making special orders. So I usually let it go & politely go back, asking you to add cheese.

Today, however? I had to pull out the stank-face. Wanna know why?

Me: "Excuse me, there's no cheese on this. . ."
Girl: "Oh. . .I'm just going to put two slices of cheese on a platter for you & you can add them yourself. Is that okay?"
Me: *beginning to get annoyed* "Could you please just have them do it, since they messed up my order?"
Girl: "Okay, sure."
Attitude-y teenage employee standing next to me in line: "They're not supposed to do that."
Me: "What?"
Employee: "Touch the sandwich again once it's been wrapped."
Me: "Yeah. . .I don't really care."
Employee: *gives me pissy look & says nothing*
Me: "They do this every single time I come here."
Employee: "Well, they're not supposed to."
Me: "No, not touch the sandwich. Mess up my order. They do it every time."
Employee: "I'm just saying, they might need to make you a new one."
Me: "aaaaand again, I don't care."
Employee: *shuts the fuck up*

HI, I'M A BITCH. Haha. Seriously though, no, I'm not going to do your job for you. You screwed up the order, now fix it. Considering it's FAST food, I don't really mind if you redo the order. MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU'LL REMEMBER MY BITCH-ASS & NOT SCREW UP. HMM?

2. Dear lady who parks her giant gas-guzzling SUV in my parking spot,

Look, I know there's no car here. But this is clearly an assigned spot. And I'm beyond tired of people parking here, causing me to not be able to use it when I have a visitor & actually need it. USE VISITOR PARKING OR YOUR OWN DAMN SPOT.

Lady: "I'm about to move!" (even though she's already been there 20+ minutes) I'VE HAD EIGHT KNEE SURGERIES!"
Me: "Okay, it's not about you. *trying to calm her down* It's just people keep parking here and then I can't use my spot when I need to."
Lady: "I KNOW IT'S TAKEN! I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR ME!"
Me: "Right, well, I appreciate it."

Notice how I totally ignored her whiny excuses. Again, I'M A BITCH. Haha. For real though, if you knew it was taken, why'd you park here? That's number one. Number two? I don't care that you've had eight knee surgeries. Really honestly don't. Get yourself a fucking scooter and move to a ground-level apartment. I have migraines & bad joints. Cry me a river. Last I checked, your soccer-mom self was walking just fine up & down those stairs. I'm sure you can walk across the parking lot.

P.S. Your car is ugly & looks like a tank. YOU'RE DRIVING IN THE SUBURBS, NOT THE MOUNTAINS. GET A SMALLER CAR, JACKASS.

Love,
Rachael.

AND I'M SPENT. Heh. The worst part about that lady though? It started with me leaving my apartment to grab the food, and going "Excuse me?" as she walked past. She then completely ignored me, so I nicely (no, really) asked her daughter to tell her mom the spot belonged to one of the apartments there. The minute I returned from Wendy's? I hadn't even said anything yet before she started yelling at me. Which is what inspired the conversation above.

All that in mind, here's what I have to say to this day so far: where's an airlock when you need one? That or perhaps Trick Daddy & Trina so they can show up and just start singing this song for me. "Uh huh, okay, wassup, SHUT UP."<---lyrics for the ages.

(I'm guessing this is why my old high school friend called me "intimidating", huh? Ha.)