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Not much to say for this entry (*cue pigs flying*) -- I just wanted to write about something that's been on my mind today.

Sometimes it really bothers me that I don't get more clear signs that my mom's spirit is still with me. I know some would call that irrational; I mean it's not like I know for sure that there even is an afterlife. Maybe the end was just the end. But I've experienced & heard so many things that it's hard for me now to not believe we live on after death in some fashion. Hell, maybe she was reincarnated, and that's why we can't feel her around us. But the point is that it bothers me, and it makes me feel angry, abandoned, & unloved. Maybe there's a greater purpose for it--maybe to help me not live in the past, or perhaps so I can work on acceptance--I don't know. But it hurts sometimes, and today is one of those times. I just want to know that she gives a shit, y'know? Being told to look for smaller signs doesn't really work for me. I need concrete examples.

Obviously the holiday yesterday didn't help, and neither does my period or the migraine/stomach-ache combo party my body is throwing. I'm just feeling hormonal, listless, and lonely. If anyone has any funny vids or gifs to share, or TV shows/movies to recommend, feel free.