You're all doooooomed!
Oct. 23rd, 2014 06:09 pm-I'm feeling more like updating more often here (in writing even!); of course it comes at a time when no one's around. Figures. I'll just be here, talking to myself and the tumbleweeds. Don't mind me.
-Remember my wish the other day regarding the Simpson's Shining episode? Literally that same night, I saw an ad on TV for an all-day marathon of every single Treehouse of Horror episode on FXX this Sunday. Sweeeeeeeet. Of course that doesn't mean I get to see the X-Files episode again, but close enough. I've *always* wanted a chance to sit and watch all of the Halloween eps again in a row, and I finally can! It's funny -- I don't really care about the rest of the show in general, but I always get excited over its Halloween-themed episodes.
-I rewatched Psych's series finale last night, and I was reminded ONCE AGAIN how terrible my memory is these days. This finale was, what, a few months ago? And I seriously was thinking to myself while watching the other episodes, "Y'know, this show really was pretty perfect most of the time, besides some meh episodes (which, come on, every show has), except Shawn should've proposed to Juliet before the end." Aaaaaand TOO BAD HE DID, AND TOO BAD I WATCHED IT HAPPEN LIVE, AND IT WAS AWESOME. "Will you marry us?" "I will marry THE CRAP out of you!" Hahaha, BEST. And then I forgot! Really, self? Really? It's kind of like when I was all, "When is same-sex marriage going to be legal here in Oregon?!" on Facebook, and![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sonneta was like, "um, dude, it is. It happened a few months ago. You commented on it in your journal and everything." What the fuckity fuck?
And I know my doctors said it was probably the klonopin causing the amnesia (I was taking four a day -- now I'm taking three), but at dinner on Monday, Alexandra told me she takes eight (eight!) klonopin a day and hasn't experienced any amnesia at all. I realize everyone's different, but it just makes me suspicious that there's some other cause. I can't ask my neurologist anytime soon though, because I can't get in to see him until effing JANUARY. I'm trying to see if I can get in sooner to see a migraine specialist through my new insurance network; we'll see how that goes. I don't want to wait two more months to try botox or get some answers. He'll be out of my network anyway (yes, I was told they'd be covered by my insurance. ONCE AGAIN, I was given misinformation), so while that has the benefit of skipping the referral rigmarole, it does mean my copays will be higher.
-Speaking of health, my sister--who already has tons of kidney stones btw, so that's been fun for her these past few months--just found out she's borderline diabetic. That's scary. For her and for me. Especially since I'm still overweight, not exercising as much as I know I should, and eating more sugar than I'm supposed to. It just makes me nervous I'll get it. So I've made a vow that tonight will be the last time I order dessert with my dinner for a while (I need to stop ordering out so often anyway. I'm blowing through my money so fast it should be on fire), and I'm going to start limiting myself to one popsicle a day. It's ridiculous how hard that's going to be. But to put it in perspective, I was having multiple bowls of ice cream DAILY before my surgery this summer. Now I can't even have a couple popsicles in a row. It's been a hard, abrupt change.
-As for my mental health, it's better, and I haven't been cutting nearly as often, but I still have stress, anxiety, & depression constantly simmering beneath the surface, and I feel like I'm just trying to keep it at bay all day long. I know I need the extra help the DBT program will offer, but I'm scared the hospital won't accept me for financial assistance, at least not until my overall bank balance is below a certain amount. And I don't want to wait around forever to start it, or rush running out of money because I know I'm going to have to make undesirable sacrifices to live purely off the monthly amount disability gives me once I run out of the lump sum I was given. More to the point, though, I want to get going on getting better. Or *trying* to, anyway. I don't see my psychiatrist for a while either, which is also annoying, because I'd like to raise my Abilify a little more. Even though I'm scared of the side effects I could get by taking it (all anti-psychotics come with scary possible side effects, some permanent -- even the new ones), but I'm trying to focus on the now. And for now it's helping, and help is what I need. So, yeah.
-I just talked on the phone with Isabella, and she told me all about her crush on this girl in her class. She sounds BESOTTED. Meanwhile, my sister's having a very unenthused reaction & keeps clinging to the fact that she likes boys too, which she says is because she doesn't want her to have to grow up with any obstacles. But as I pointed out, things are very, very different now than they were for me growing up. She'd be growing up in a state where she could dream of marrying a girl, for one. And yeah, it still comes with baggage, but you don't need to have some funeral of your dreams for her because of it. I personally laugh every time I hear about it, because I'm just so amused & impressed by how open & aware she is of her feelings at such a young age. And I get a kick out of it because Corinne used to worry about Jayden turning out gay, and of course her daughter would be the one to pop out queer when she wasn't looking. All this bearing in mind, of course, that Izzie's still very young, and these things can be fluid, and she may end up purely liking boys when she's older. There's just no way of knowing. But I'm certainly not going to treat this crush any differently than I do her crushes on boys when she talks to me about it, and I expect Corinne to behave the same.
-I'm liking American Horror Story much more this season than last. This year it's actually creepy again, which gets a big thumbs-up from me.
-Is anyone in the world of The Walking Dead NOT a cannible at this point? Just wondering. I was surprised they used that trope again so quickly after Terminus.
'Kay, I think that's it for tonight. I found another Vid of the Day for Psych, this time a funny one. I don't know about you, but I could use some humor today:
-Remember my wish the other day regarding the Simpson's Shining episode? Literally that same night, I saw an ad on TV for an all-day marathon of every single Treehouse of Horror episode on FXX this Sunday. Sweeeeeeeet. Of course that doesn't mean I get to see the X-Files episode again, but close enough. I've *always* wanted a chance to sit and watch all of the Halloween eps again in a row, and I finally can! It's funny -- I don't really care about the rest of the show in general, but I always get excited over its Halloween-themed episodes.
-I rewatched Psych's series finale last night, and I was reminded ONCE AGAIN how terrible my memory is these days. This finale was, what, a few months ago? And I seriously was thinking to myself while watching the other episodes, "Y'know, this show really was pretty perfect most of the time, besides some meh episodes (which, come on, every show has), except Shawn should've proposed to Juliet before the end." Aaaaaand TOO BAD HE DID, AND TOO BAD I WATCHED IT HAPPEN LIVE, AND IT WAS AWESOME. "Will you marry us?" "I will marry THE CRAP out of you!" Hahaha, BEST. And then I forgot! Really, self? Really? It's kind of like when I was all, "When is same-sex marriage going to be legal here in Oregon?!" on Facebook, and
sonneta was like, "um, dude, it is. It happened a few months ago. You commented on it in your journal and everything." What the fuckity fuck? And I know my doctors said it was probably the klonopin causing the amnesia (I was taking four a day -- now I'm taking three), but at dinner on Monday, Alexandra told me she takes eight (eight!) klonopin a day and hasn't experienced any amnesia at all. I realize everyone's different, but it just makes me suspicious that there's some other cause. I can't ask my neurologist anytime soon though, because I can't get in to see him until effing JANUARY. I'm trying to see if I can get in sooner to see a migraine specialist through my new insurance network; we'll see how that goes. I don't want to wait two more months to try botox or get some answers. He'll be out of my network anyway (yes, I was told they'd be covered by my insurance. ONCE AGAIN, I was given misinformation), so while that has the benefit of skipping the referral rigmarole, it does mean my copays will be higher.
-Speaking of health, my sister--who already has tons of kidney stones btw, so that's been fun for her these past few months--just found out she's borderline diabetic. That's scary. For her and for me. Especially since I'm still overweight, not exercising as much as I know I should, and eating more sugar than I'm supposed to. It just makes me nervous I'll get it. So I've made a vow that tonight will be the last time I order dessert with my dinner for a while (I need to stop ordering out so often anyway. I'm blowing through my money so fast it should be on fire), and I'm going to start limiting myself to one popsicle a day. It's ridiculous how hard that's going to be. But to put it in perspective, I was having multiple bowls of ice cream DAILY before my surgery this summer. Now I can't even have a couple popsicles in a row. It's been a hard, abrupt change.
-As for my mental health, it's better, and I haven't been cutting nearly as often, but I still have stress, anxiety, & depression constantly simmering beneath the surface, and I feel like I'm just trying to keep it at bay all day long. I know I need the extra help the DBT program will offer, but I'm scared the hospital won't accept me for financial assistance, at least not until my overall bank balance is below a certain amount. And I don't want to wait around forever to start it, or rush running out of money because I know I'm going to have to make undesirable sacrifices to live purely off the monthly amount disability gives me once I run out of the lump sum I was given. More to the point, though, I want to get going on getting better. Or *trying* to, anyway. I don't see my psychiatrist for a while either, which is also annoying, because I'd like to raise my Abilify a little more. Even though I'm scared of the side effects I could get by taking it (all anti-psychotics come with scary possible side effects, some permanent -- even the new ones), but I'm trying to focus on the now. And for now it's helping, and help is what I need. So, yeah.
-I just talked on the phone with Isabella, and she told me all about her crush on this girl in her class. She sounds BESOTTED. Meanwhile, my sister's having a very unenthused reaction & keeps clinging to the fact that she likes boys too, which she says is because she doesn't want her to have to grow up with any obstacles. But as I pointed out, things are very, very different now than they were for me growing up. She'd be growing up in a state where she could dream of marrying a girl, for one. And yeah, it still comes with baggage, but you don't need to have some funeral of your dreams for her because of it. I personally laugh every time I hear about it, because I'm just so amused & impressed by how open & aware she is of her feelings at such a young age. And I get a kick out of it because Corinne used to worry about Jayden turning out gay, and of course her daughter would be the one to pop out queer when she wasn't looking. All this bearing in mind, of course, that Izzie's still very young, and these things can be fluid, and she may end up purely liking boys when she's older. There's just no way of knowing. But I'm certainly not going to treat this crush any differently than I do her crushes on boys when she talks to me about it, and I expect Corinne to behave the same.
-I'm liking American Horror Story much more this season than last. This year it's actually creepy again, which gets a big thumbs-up from me.
-Is anyone in the world of The Walking Dead NOT a cannible at this point? Just wondering. I was surprised they used that trope again so quickly after Terminus.
'Kay, I think that's it for tonight. I found another Vid of the Day for Psych, this time a funny one. I don't know about you, but I could use some humor today:
