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10 Day Challenge
Jan. 25th, 2015 01:00 pmY'all need to get your happy selves over to my music post & let me know what you think, otherwise it's going to look very sad. Just saying.
But this post isn't about that. It's another exciting installment (not really that exciting) of my 10 Day Challenge meme! Hoo-ray.
(on a TMI side-note, I just started my second period this month, despite being on progesterone. I hope it's just spotting, because if not, it means the progesterone isn't working. Ugh!)
The 10 Day Challenge
Day 1 - Ten random facts about yourself
Day 2 - Nine things you do every day
Day 3 - Eight things that annoy you
Day 4 - Seven fears/phobias
Day 5 - Six songs that you’re addicted to
Day 6 - Five things you can’t live without
Day 7 - Four memories you won’t forget
Day 8 - Three words you can’t go a day without
Day 9 - Two things you wish you could do
Day 10 - One person you can trust
Day 4 - Seven fears/phobias
I think the better question is what am I NOT afraid of?
1. Going upside-down. I'm sitting here trying to figure out how much money one would have to offer me to do it, and I honestly don't know. I'm not sure I could do it even if I wanted to.
2. My Social Anxiety Disorder diagnosis may have been (questionably) removed, but it's still a significant presence in my life, though much better than it used to be. Those of you who've been reading this journal since the beginning will remember the anguish I sometimes used to go through just walking across an intersection or signing my name. The mere expectation of having to sign my name would send me into a panic attack. I still struggle to do anything with my hands in front of people where they might notice me shaking, like lifting a drink with one hand or filling out paperwork at the doctor's office, or sometimes simply descending stairs in front of people, but the difference now is I can do it anyway. But I still have a phobia of working behind a register. I could help maybe one or two customers, but a whole day of that? It would completely overwhelm me, and I can easily imagine how afraid I'd be to go in before every shift. It just wouldn't work.
3. Insects or bugs crawling into my ears or mouth while I'm sleeping. Yes, I've heard the statistics about how it actually happens. DON'T REMIND ME.
4. Touching wild mushrooms. I know it's weird. But they remind me of warts growing out of someone's skin, and they just give me the willies. I can't explain it. I could probably touch a mushroom that's been sold in the store, but I still wouldn't like it. I'd probably visibly shudder, haha.
5. Something happening to one of my loved ones. My OCD diagnosis was removed as well, but I know I had it as a kid, and I still have tendencies. That's why my last words to people as I get out of a car are almost always, "drive safely," because I feel like it'll somehow ensure that they do. And if I *don't* say it, well, it'll totally be my fault when they crash & die. Because obviously that'll happen.
6. Becoming a ghost. It's one reason, out of several, that I don't kill myself. I'd be scared of turning into a ghost thanks to my traumatic death & ~unresolved issues~. I just imagine myself wandering around bored & anxious & sad forever, but unable to do anything about it. I couldn't pick up the phone & call someone. Couldn't take a walk outside, because there'd probably be nothing but misty fog & darkness or some shit. I'd use all my energy to turn on the TV & then the new tenant would just turn it back off, going, "Freaking haunted apartment!" And then I'd be standing there trying to yell at them, "I just want to watch The Daily Show! Damn't!"
Really though, joking aside, I want to be with my family & finally know peace. So, going to Hell (I don't believe in it, really, but I still have a childish fear of it) or becoming a ghost are serious concerns of mine.
7. Relationships. I'm afraid I'll never have one, and I'm afraid I will. I want one, but the idea scares me anyway. Intimacy in general makes me nervous, both physical and emotional (especially physical though). I can push through it with friends, but significant others are a whole 'nother ballpark. Similarly, I'm afraid I'll never have kids, and I'm a little afraid I will (because I don't want to suck at it, even though I'm told by everyone that I'm great with kids. But between my mental illnesses and migraines, and all the family baggage I carry, it's still a scary concept to me).
But this post isn't about that. It's another exciting installment (not really that exciting) of my 10 Day Challenge meme! Hoo-ray.
(on a TMI side-note, I just started my second period this month, despite being on progesterone. I hope it's just spotting, because if not, it means the progesterone isn't working. Ugh!)
The 10 Day Challenge
Day 4 - Seven fears/phobias
Day 5 - Six songs that you’re addicted to
Day 6 - Five things you can’t live without
Day 7 - Four memories you won’t forget
Day 8 - Three words you can’t go a day without
Day 9 - Two things you wish you could do
Day 10 - One person you can trust
Day 4 - Seven fears/phobias
I think the better question is what am I NOT afraid of?
1. Going upside-down. I'm sitting here trying to figure out how much money one would have to offer me to do it, and I honestly don't know. I'm not sure I could do it even if I wanted to.
2. My Social Anxiety Disorder diagnosis may have been (questionably) removed, but it's still a significant presence in my life, though much better than it used to be. Those of you who've been reading this journal since the beginning will remember the anguish I sometimes used to go through just walking across an intersection or signing my name. The mere expectation of having to sign my name would send me into a panic attack. I still struggle to do anything with my hands in front of people where they might notice me shaking, like lifting a drink with one hand or filling out paperwork at the doctor's office, or sometimes simply descending stairs in front of people, but the difference now is I can do it anyway. But I still have a phobia of working behind a register. I could help maybe one or two customers, but a whole day of that? It would completely overwhelm me, and I can easily imagine how afraid I'd be to go in before every shift. It just wouldn't work.
3. Insects or bugs crawling into my ears or mouth while I'm sleeping. Yes, I've heard the statistics about how it actually happens. DON'T REMIND ME.
4. Touching wild mushrooms. I know it's weird. But they remind me of warts growing out of someone's skin, and they just give me the willies. I can't explain it. I could probably touch a mushroom that's been sold in the store, but I still wouldn't like it. I'd probably visibly shudder, haha.
5. Something happening to one of my loved ones. My OCD diagnosis was removed as well, but I know I had it as a kid, and I still have tendencies. That's why my last words to people as I get out of a car are almost always, "drive safely," because I feel like it'll somehow ensure that they do. And if I *don't* say it, well, it'll totally be my fault when they crash & die. Because obviously that'll happen.
6. Becoming a ghost. It's one reason, out of several, that I don't kill myself. I'd be scared of turning into a ghost thanks to my traumatic death & ~unresolved issues~. I just imagine myself wandering around bored & anxious & sad forever, but unable to do anything about it. I couldn't pick up the phone & call someone. Couldn't take a walk outside, because there'd probably be nothing but misty fog & darkness or some shit. I'd use all my energy to turn on the TV & then the new tenant would just turn it back off, going, "Freaking haunted apartment!" And then I'd be standing there trying to yell at them, "I just want to watch The Daily Show! Damn't!"
Really though, joking aside, I want to be with my family & finally know peace. So, going to Hell (I don't believe in it, really, but I still have a childish fear of it) or becoming a ghost are serious concerns of mine.
7. Relationships. I'm afraid I'll never have one, and I'm afraid I will. I want one, but the idea scares me anyway. Intimacy in general makes me nervous, both physical and emotional (especially physical though). I can push through it with friends, but significant others are a whole 'nother ballpark. Similarly, I'm afraid I'll never have kids, and I'm a little afraid I will (because I don't want to suck at it, even though I'm told by everyone that I'm great with kids. But between my mental illnesses and migraines, and all the family baggage I carry, it's still a scary concept to me).