If you love something, you have got to set it free

[rachg82]

1. For once I'm actually awake before noon after going to bed (okay, technically, I started writing this entry at 7:30 am. I finished it at 11:30 am. I did, however, take breaks to do other things, but still. Why did I feel the need to clarify? GOD, I AM ANAL). Of course I only slept for a few hours, but still--mad props. I'd like to try to stay awake now so I can get my sleep schedule to conform again with the whole "daylight" thing (I've heard of it, I think. Puffy clouds, lunchtime, bipedal creatures bein' all ambulatory…it's a whole big thing), but that'll depend on my ability to avoid napping. My eyes, they are already tired. Plus my head hurts. That is the reason I went to bed early in the first place, you see.

At least the migraine--a result of the construction crew funtimes yesterday, for those who might be wondering; it was like the Energizer Bunny. The pain kept going & going & going & going--had some amusing results though. At some time between 1:30 & 2 am or so, I lay down on the couch in the dark so I could rest my eyes, turned on Tchaikovsky, and fell asleep. Then, because I'm me, Tchaikovsky being played while I was awake triggered me to dream that I was singing Organs on the Kitchen Floor over the phone to friends (weird) in my apartment & that Booth could somehow hear me (weirder!). Specifically, he could hear the line, "and then there's that saying that if you love something, you have got to set it free, but if it comes back then you are just as broke as can be. So, don't leave your organs on the kitchen floor & don't forget to close the door."

WTF. I mean, really. My brain is weird.

That song is so going on my next fanfic soundtrack now for Brennan though. Haha. It can apply to both of them in a way! After I woke up, I was all, "I NEED TO GO LISTEN TO THAT SONG NOW," and then I did & was all, "WHAT UP, BRAIN. THANKS FOR THE SNEAKY INSPIRATION."

On an unrelated note, the "don't forget to close the door" line also reminds me of this song. Fun with associative thinking! Heh.

2. Oh dear God, the construction crew is back. Help me. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR THEM TO FINISH WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS THEY'RE DOING UP THERE? I hate them. I mean, like, I really hope one of them accidentally hammers a thumb or something.[/schadenfreude]

3. ANYWAY. Back to music. This song is totes going on my next fic soundtrack too, I've decided.

I ♥ Annie Lennox.

4. I love how I didn't even know there was a new version of Hawaii Five-0 until a few days ago & now I get to stare at pictures of Boomer/Athena/Sharon/Number Eight (haha, BSG, ILU) in a bikini, all thanks to March Madness. I very much approve. Especially because of the comments I saw suggesting people watch the show as a BSG AU 'verse where Boomer gets to hang out & surf. Hahahaha. Now every comment campaigning for Kono will amuse me ten thousand times more. OH, FANDOM.

5. I finished Miranda this morning. I'm very pleased that a third series is in the works. It's an adorable show & definitely one of those programs that's good for when you're feeling low & in need of an easy laugh/some simple entertainment. It got better as it went along, too. I think my favorite episode was probably Before I Die (which I rewatched in the middle of writing this, btw). Just totally cracked me up.

6. Southland's season finale is next Tuesday. I am both psyched & bummed out. SO not ready for a hiatus. Wah.

7. I'm feeling…something. I don't know what it is. Stressed, sad, unhappy, depressed, eh? Whatever. It's just sort of there, being tolerated & pushed to the side. It's not like it's new, but sometimes it gains more of a ~hanging~ sort of dreadful presence, you know? Like it's on the tip of your tongue, & you feel like you should locate it & identify everything that's missing or about to fall apart & fix it in one go. But you know there's, like, TEN THOUSAND THINGS that need fixing anyway. So, yeah, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. (as an alternative? You could also run off & hide in your bed. The "many mini-deaths" approach.)

On a positive note, I realized something the other night that I think is good. When I reread my old BSG recaps recently, I saw that--in the aftermath of what happened with my mom & Joe last year--I referred to TV flailing (and things of that nature) as "getting back to the normal business of life." It made me notice that lately I've begun separating that from "my actual life" when it comes to how I word things here, often quite literally. It implies that any joy I get from TV somehow doesn't count or that things having to do with TV don't count as being part of a "real" life. And the thing is, I KNOW where that judgement comes from, now that I think about it. It comes from two things: Amy & my sister. All the bullshit I got from them about my love for TV last year after reuniting with them, and my interests in general, and the way I live my LIFE in general. But you know what? They're full of shit. It IS part of my life. It's not just ~something to get me by~ until my "real life" comes along (though, yes, I DO want to improve my life in certain ways, but this life is STILL a life in the meantime, even if it's different than theirs). It will *always* be something I love. It always has been. I'm not going to apologize for that, nor should I.

8. The old coworker/friend I was supposed to go for a walk with several weeks back (she kept putting it off for various reasons) emailed me yesterday to ask if I wanted to go for coffee today instead, THEN wrote back to cancel that as she had to drive her sister to the doctor's (like we couldn't do coffee before/after? I know her reason would probably be some longwinded thing about the baby & nap schedules & cranky times & feeding & bla bla bla though & that's when I'd tune out. Ugh. I know I'm being a bitch, but God. And people say that I'm the one who makes things complicated! I hate talking about a plan forever. It's like, "Okay, already. Choose a place. I'll be there. Whatever!"). Seriously. So annoying. She asked me if I was free next week, and I fought back the urge to reply back with, "I AM UNEMPLOYED & FREE OF CHILDREN, PETS, CELLPHONES, ROOMMATES, A SIGNIFICANT OTHER, FRIENDS WHO ASK TO SEE ME MORE THAN ONCE EVERY FIVE MONTHS, & THE ADEQUATE AMOUNT OF PATIENCE FOR THIS; ERGO, I AM ALWAYS FREE. PICK A FUCKING DAY & THEN SHOW UP. YOU ARE AGITATING ME."

Fortunately, I learned the hard way long ago *not* to react to friends that way after plans get repeatedly rescheduled (hee), so instead I just told her I'm free, but that I do like to plan things out ahead of time (understatement of the century) & asked her to choose a day/time. And then? She still responded back, like, "Monday will probably work." What's this "probably" shit? Lord give me strength. It's coffee! Not D-Day! Very simple to plan! (though, interestingly enough, knowing me--once planned, I might come close to prioritizing it like D-Day. Ha[/hyperbole]) I don't even drink coffee, which makes it doubly funny that she was all, "Do you have a favorite coffee place in Tualatin?" YOU KNOW I DON'T DRINK COFFEE. Hence why it *really* doesn't matter to me when/where/what time we meet. Like, come on, girl! I know you're trying to be nice right now, but sheesh. Haha. I can get chai tea anywhere. There's a Starbucks on every corner. There's one up the road. ENOUGH CHITCHAT. We've been saying we're going to get together for weeks. CAN WE JUST DO IT NOW? Knock on my door & I'll open it! Then we'll go somewhere. ~Tada~

I am happy she actually wants to see me though. Despite what a giant d-bag I'm being about it. Haha.

9. Getting back to television, I watched another episode (an old one that had been saved on my DVR) of Lie to Me last night. I like Cal; he's a butthead. Always following people around & intentionally weirding them out. In the last one I saw, he got in the elevator with the suspect & just stood there, facing the opposite direction. HA. When I took a Social Psychology class back in the day, one of the extra credit assignments involved that exact behavior--standing in an elevator with a group of strangers & facing the back wall as they all face forward, observing their reactions to you breaking the norm.

10. For my Vid of the Day, I have a lovely piece of angst for y'all (by freelancerxo02) about Kara & Lee. The vidder pretty much sums it up: "they could never stay together and they could never stay apart. A beautiful friendship, a tragic relationship." Yep, & that's why I love 'em. (hey, I've got Roslin & Adama for my Perfect OTP of 'Til Death Do Us Part-itude<--which, *sob*. I know. Kara & Lee are my Boxing Ring OTP. Ha. Baltar & Six, meanwhile, are my Personal Jesus Genocidal Robot Operahouse Crazy Sex Hallucinations Angel Funtimes OTP. That should go on a T-shirt)

Comments

[trust-your-hart.livejournal.com]

De-lurking to say: WORD.

It drives me up the wall when people want to make plans but they won't give me a definite day, time and location. That "maybe Friday?" crap doesn't fly with me. I have a very busy schedule of lounging around after work and on the weekends, so I need to know exactly what time I need to shut down the laptop & haul my lazy ass off the couch to get into the shower. I'm a planner, what can I say?

Even if a friend says in December "Hey, maybe I'll come visit in the Summer", I want to start making plans and picking a week RIGHT THEN. Most of my friends are not okay with that, so I'll just stress & bother them until they break and are forced to look at a calendar with me. ;)

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

Yay for de-lurking! I think it's funny when people friend me & then lurk, hee. I totally used to just show up at people's journals (usually fic authors & such) & start commenting before I even friended them. Hahaha. "Hi, you don't know me, but bla bla bla bla." Then eventually I'd be all, "Perhaps we should friend? That'd make sense. Y'know, since I've been all up in your journal without an invite anyway." And then we would.

AND THAT'S HOW WE DO IT HERE ON THE WESTSIDE. I don't know; I'm tired. Hee.

I have a very busy schedule of lounging around after work and on the weekends, so I need to know exactly what time I need to shut down the laptop & haul my lazy ass off the couch to get into the shower. I'm a planner, what can I say?

Exactly! Like, I need to arrange when the leaving my desk chair & picking clothes off the floor (no shame) & opening/closing of the front door will take place, OKAY? This is a delicate operation! If I don't know when I'm leaving, how will I know what time I'll be sitting on the couch later? MY BRAIN NEEDS TO KNOW THESE THINGS.

[trust-your-hart.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm weird like that. I check out peoples' pages if they're not locked, but I will only add them if we've conversed.

And then...I feel weird commenting on something RIGHT away like we're BFFs, so I ease into it. Yes, strange new friend is strange. ;)

OH HAI, FELLOW X-FILES FAN.

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

Oh, I wouldn't ever actually add them to my flist until we'd conversed, but I mean I'd just start commenting out of nowhere on their entries when we hadn't even talked before in a comm or anything (fwiw, this was when I was really new to the Bones fandom & returning from a long LJ-break. I just sorta jumped out there, ha, because I didn't know the ~rules~. The only fandom I'd been in before was XF, back in the '90s & early 2000s. VERY DIFFERENT).

So basically it'd be like some random person dropping by your journal & being all, "HOWDY-DO!" & you're like, "WTF? Okay." Yeah, I'm strange as well. But I wouldn't actually add them until later, after I'd commented a few times. Then I'd be like, "Wanna be friends?" Sorta like a polite carjacking. "Since I'm in your car already, mind if I drive?" Thus, with my method, there'd be no reason to ease into commenting *after* friending, because I'd already have been doing that exact thing BEFORE they knew who the hell I was! Haha.

I do know what you mean though, like when it comes to friending memes or when someone friends you that you don't know well already. I figure if the person adds you though, they want to hear what you have to say. Everyone's too self-conscious about rambling/saying *exactly the right thing* these days on LJ. There used to be so much more verbosity on here.

OH HAI, FELLOW X-FILES FAN

*phile fist-bump*

[trust-your-hart.livejournal.com]

But I wouldn't actually add them until later, after I'd commented a few times.

HA. Unlike me, who had one or two exchanges with you in a comm, decided you were awesome and added you without even asking. That's how I roll, sometimes. *shrug*

Let us discuss The X-Files, shall we? :D

XF was my first fandom also, at exactly the same time you were in fandom. I started watching when I was almost 13 (so 1997-ish) and watched up until about 2001 or so. Of course, fandoms weren't as complex back then as they are today, but I hung around the AOL chat rooms/boards and lived on the Gossamer fanfiction site. Did you ever mosey on over there back in the day?

Anyhoo - I watched through the middle of S8 and decided it was kinda crappy after David Duchovny left, and just kind of stopped watching. Really depressing to think how it just fizzled out for me when I was OBSESSED with it for so long.

Have I sufficiently rambled? I tend to do that. Oops. :)

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

Unlike me, who had one or two exchanges with you in a comm, decided you were awesome and added you without even asking. That's how I roll, sometimes. *shrug*

Aw, I'm glad you did!

I started watching XF during the summer of '96, when I was 14. I caught up on a few of the s3 reruns, watched the first few eps of s4, and fell in love HARD. I dragged my best friend down with me by introducing her to the show with "Home." HA. And no, I'm not kidding. Perfect first ep to go with, am I right? She was horrified. Meanwhile I was all innocent. "What?"

(she totes kept watching though, hee. Ended up a dirty noromo, but we'll forgive her for that.)

I watched right up until the bitter end, though during s9 my back began getting turned to the TV while I sat at the computer fairly often--something that *never* would've happened earlier in the series' run. I'd listen for Scully's voice or a Moose & Squirrel mention & that was pretty much the only thing that got my chair to swivel.

fandoms weren't as complex back then as they are today, but I hung around the AOL chat rooms/boards and lived on the Gossamer fanfiction site. Did you ever mosey on over there back in the day?

I don't know that I'd say they weren't as complex--unless you mean the rules were less complex; that I'd agree with.

The XF fandom back then was fucking wild. Most of the sites I went to in the '90s either no longer exist though or they've been changed, which makes me very sadface. At least the OBSSE & Autumn's Reviews are still out there. Do you remember the X Witches Badfic archive? Or the site for Mulder's glasses/speedo? Or the noromo comics? OMG. Haha.

I also hung out around Gossamer + Ephemeral + The Haven (back when it was a fanfic archive & not just a forum) + Gertie's Fanfic Archive, etc. (I was a fic junkie as a teen, though only as a reader back then & once as a muse (http://akajake.net/stranger.txt).) I still browse Gossamer & the XF Lost and Found board (http://lostandfoundfaq.xphilefic.com/) every now & again.

I never used the AOL chat rooms for XF, but I used to waste hours upon hours of time over at the Television Without Pity forums back in 2002. The recaps back then easily made watching season 8 & 9 worth it. Ha. (seriously, if you've never read them, GO. NOW. (http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/the-xfiles/recaps.php). They are hilarious.)

Have I sufficiently rambled? I tend to do that. Oops.

You will never ramble more than I do. Trust.

[crystalcazzie.livejournal.com]

I'm so with you on the TV thing. I hate it when people say that it's a waste of time and I need to go out and do stuff. TV is stuff! TV makes me happy. What makes it less worthwhile than any other activity people do for fun?

Although, funnily enough, I blame TV for this idea in many ways. The characters all live such busy lives and almost never have time for TV themselves, and when they do watch TV it's usually to make the point that they're doing badly but things will be better once they get back to their proper lives.

I also agree on the making plans thing. Although what really annoys me with that is the different ways people apparently view plans. To me if I agree to meet up with someone on a certain day then I've committed to that and it would take something serious for me to cancel. Other people seem to see it as just a suggestion, though. Like when I arranged to meet up with my friend in London. We'd agreed on a day and time and what we were going to do but when I sent her a message a few days beforehand to confirm where and when exactly we were going to meet, she replies "I don't have much money at the moment, so I'm not going." And I'm left thinking "Uh, would have been nice if you'd TOLD ME THAT!"

(See, this is why I don't comment much. I just end up ranting about things that are only kinda related to your original point!)

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

TV makes me happy. What makes it less worthwhile than any other activity people do for fun?

THANK YOU. Like, with my sister or Amy, they'd want me to go out to a bar or something. How is that inherantly better for every person? I'm sorry, my liver doesn't think it's better. I DON'T LIKE CONSTANTLY GOING TO BARS. Every once in a while it's fun, sure, but not regularly. It's fine if you like it, but it's also fine if I like sitting on my couch & laughing at a story.

Although, funnily enough, I blame TV for this idea in many ways

I know! Ha. I was thinking about this the other day, actually. People have *always* entertained themselves. We've always had books, operas, plays, music, etc. It's part of the human experience to tell stories, to express ourselves, to appreciate art & play make-believe. Moreover, certain people have always been more prone to it than others. Think of all the literary characters who couldn't put books down or couldn't stop writing. They would've been the fangirls, artists, musicians, thespians, nerds, hermits, and/or bookworms of our time if they were real (which, let's face it, in a way they probably were. Characters are usually based on people in our real lives in one way or another).

Anyway, point being: getting invested in the stories on TV is not some "Brave New World" escape mechanism or social problem. It's not something *wrong with us*. It's a new version of what people have always done. The fact that neither Amy nor my sister appreciate books, art, music or anything of the sort NEARLY as much as I do? PROVES MY POINT AGAIN.

See, this is why I don't comment much. I just end up ranting about things that are only kinda related to your original point!

Do I need to add a banner to the top of my journal that lets my friends know how much I enjoy long comments? BECAUSE I WILL.

[crystalcazzie.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly! Television is just the latest medium in a long history of story-telling devices.

Who knows, maybe in a hundred years people will be complaining about the kids wasting their time in the holodecks and wondering why they can't appreciate good, old-fashioned television like the cultured people of the past did!

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. I love this idea.