I can hold you with these eyes
Apr. 28th, 2003 02:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rachg82Dude, I pulled a muscle hardcore at work, this weekend. My left shoulder is NOT happy. But hey, sore muscles mean they're getting worked, right?
Speaking of my body, I was all happy yesterday because I weighed myself (for the first time in at least several days, actually) and had dropped down to 102. Today, though? 106! What in the fuck? It had better be because I started my period. I did not eat that much yesterday! Sheesh.
I feel like I have a thousand things to write about, but I don't want to go on forever about all of them. This entry is still going to be lengthy though. No getting out of it, with me writing it.
I'm feeling better right now, at least. Still a bit stressed and uneasy feeling, but I can't seem to really shake it. The last week has been too full of drama for me to settle down just yet. Especially since Mom is still sick.
She just went to the doctor's again, actually (she took a cab, since she shouldn't really be driving, and didn't want to wait for Joe). I thought to myself before that maybe she's diabetic, but then forgot about it after asking her about it. Then Corinne mentioned it again today, and the symptoms do add up. Frequent infections? Yes. Sores that won't heal? Yes. Excessive thirst, and dehydration? Yes. Vision problems? Yes. And, although this site doesn't list it, Corinne says swelling is a symptom too and Mom has that. She's numb too, but I don't know if diabetes would explain that. Perhaps if the doctors didn't all have their heads up their asses, they could answer these questions for us. If they don't run a test on her blood sugar today, I swear to God, I'm going to want to go apeshit on them. Hello, she has a history of hyperglycemia! Fuckos.
Like I said in my other update, she got treated really badly by the doctors at the ERs, last week. And her and Joe are still not okay, but I don't really know what's going on with them now.
As for our relationship, um, I don't know. She said today that she realized later that I'm okay, there really isn't anything that wrong with me. She said she flipped out that day, like she'd been self-centered for so long (which, yeah, she is) and just then realized "Oh my God, what am I going to do about Rachael. I need to fix this NOW." And she said she doesn't care what doctor I see, she just wanted to help me. But she didn't want to come down on me like that or fight, anymore. Uh, yeah, neither did I. I can't live like that, never knowing what to expect.
Maybe things really can get better, and it's just been a really bad week. I don't know, I was being optimistic before it, and the fact that shit hit the fan again really kicked that hope in the balls. I still want to be positive, but part of me feels like things will just never be good. I mean, not on a permanent basis. Maybe overall, they could improve, but I'm not going to be all "Yeah, I believe that sort of thing will never happen again!" I'm just not that naive. I just hope things could get better, in general, you know?
But I thought about it, and realized that even if I do want to continue to live here, and things did get better? I still need to work on making it so I feel like I at least have the option of moving out. Not to mention open my options with jobs, and such. If I can. So, I called and left a message with my old doctor today. He's on a trip until May 18th (I assume India, because I know he goes once or twice a year). I forgot to press 1 before I hung up, but I think I remember doing that all the time last year, and my messages still going through. Even if it didn't, I know when he'll be back, and can call again then. The important thing is that I got myself to finally do it, and make the decision.
Even once I decided to do it, it was still hard for some reason. I don't know why I get so freaking nervous about things like that. I mean, making phone calls, or doing things I've been putting off for a while. I just get all antsy when I finally am going to do it. It was easier once I figured out what I was going to say, though. And yes, I did have to write it down, and practice it out-loud first. Heh. Such a nerd.
I feel a little relieved now that I've finally done that, and at least Mom said what she said. But she's still sick, her and Joe are still not cool, and I also have two quizzes to get ready for this week. The one tomorrow night is not a big deal, it's just memorizing where countries are, and what their capitals are. The second one is not too worrisome either, but I need to catch up on the reading for it. Ugh.
At least it looks like spring is finally arriving. It was like 66 yesterday, all sunny and nice. It's supposed to rain again tomorrow, and be partly cloudy off and on throughout the week, but no more 50s! Sweeeeeet.[/Cartman]
Oh, dude, I just realized I never mentioned the fact that there was an earthquake here, last Thursday. It was only a three point something or other, though. And I didn't even feel it, which is strange, because the one last year was about that too and I felt it. Plus, Corinne (who lives not even five minutes away) felt it at her place. Hmm. I guess Mom and I were too busy arguing to pay attention.
Hey, I guess I didn't have that much to write about, after all. I could go more in-depth about the events this week, but I just don't feel like it. Let's just say that today was the first day since Thursday that Mom didn't yell to herself forever on end. She did cry a lot, but not all loudly. At least I could talk to her about it. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since it all started, because she wouldn't shut up. Seriously, three in the morning last night, she was up there going off about Joe. Would. Not. Stop.
Okay, that's all for now. Except, of course, for the PotD: April 28th.
By the way, I am so behind on my friends' page, so if you guys get a comment on an old entry, that's why.
Speaking of my body, I was all happy yesterday because I weighed myself (for the first time in at least several days, actually) and had dropped down to 102. Today, though? 106! What in the fuck? It had better be because I started my period. I did not eat that much yesterday! Sheesh.
I feel like I have a thousand things to write about, but I don't want to go on forever about all of them. This entry is still going to be lengthy though. No getting out of it, with me writing it.
I'm feeling better right now, at least. Still a bit stressed and uneasy feeling, but I can't seem to really shake it. The last week has been too full of drama for me to settle down just yet. Especially since Mom is still sick.
She just went to the doctor's again, actually (she took a cab, since she shouldn't really be driving, and didn't want to wait for Joe). I thought to myself before that maybe she's diabetic, but then forgot about it after asking her about it. Then Corinne mentioned it again today, and the symptoms do add up. Frequent infections? Yes. Sores that won't heal? Yes. Excessive thirst, and dehydration? Yes. Vision problems? Yes. And, although this site doesn't list it, Corinne says swelling is a symptom too and Mom has that. She's numb too, but I don't know if diabetes would explain that. Perhaps if the doctors didn't all have their heads up their asses, they could answer these questions for us. If they don't run a test on her blood sugar today, I swear to God, I'm going to want to go apeshit on them. Hello, she has a history of hyperglycemia! Fuckos.
Like I said in my other update, she got treated really badly by the doctors at the ERs, last week. And her and Joe are still not okay, but I don't really know what's going on with them now.
As for our relationship, um, I don't know. She said today that she realized later that I'm okay, there really isn't anything that wrong with me. She said she flipped out that day, like she'd been self-centered for so long (which, yeah, she is) and just then realized "Oh my God, what am I going to do about Rachael. I need to fix this NOW." And she said she doesn't care what doctor I see, she just wanted to help me. But she didn't want to come down on me like that or fight, anymore. Uh, yeah, neither did I. I can't live like that, never knowing what to expect.
Maybe things really can get better, and it's just been a really bad week. I don't know, I was being optimistic before it, and the fact that shit hit the fan again really kicked that hope in the balls. I still want to be positive, but part of me feels like things will just never be good. I mean, not on a permanent basis. Maybe overall, they could improve, but I'm not going to be all "Yeah, I believe that sort of thing will never happen again!" I'm just not that naive. I just hope things could get better, in general, you know?
But I thought about it, and realized that even if I do want to continue to live here, and things did get better? I still need to work on making it so I feel like I at least have the option of moving out. Not to mention open my options with jobs, and such. If I can. So, I called and left a message with my old doctor today. He's on a trip until May 18th (I assume India, because I know he goes once or twice a year). I forgot to press 1 before I hung up, but I think I remember doing that all the time last year, and my messages still going through. Even if it didn't, I know when he'll be back, and can call again then. The important thing is that I got myself to finally do it, and make the decision.
Even once I decided to do it, it was still hard for some reason. I don't know why I get so freaking nervous about things like that. I mean, making phone calls, or doing things I've been putting off for a while. I just get all antsy when I finally am going to do it. It was easier once I figured out what I was going to say, though. And yes, I did have to write it down, and practice it out-loud first. Heh. Such a nerd.
I feel a little relieved now that I've finally done that, and at least Mom said what she said. But she's still sick, her and Joe are still not cool, and I also have two quizzes to get ready for this week. The one tomorrow night is not a big deal, it's just memorizing where countries are, and what their capitals are. The second one is not too worrisome either, but I need to catch up on the reading for it. Ugh.
At least it looks like spring is finally arriving. It was like 66 yesterday, all sunny and nice. It's supposed to rain again tomorrow, and be partly cloudy off and on throughout the week, but no more 50s! Sweeeeeet.[/Cartman]
Oh, dude, I just realized I never mentioned the fact that there was an earthquake here, last Thursday. It was only a three point something or other, though. And I didn't even feel it, which is strange, because the one last year was about that too and I felt it. Plus, Corinne (who lives not even five minutes away) felt it at her place. Hmm. I guess Mom and I were too busy arguing to pay attention.
Hey, I guess I didn't have that much to write about, after all. I could go more in-depth about the events this week, but I just don't feel like it. Let's just say that today was the first day since Thursday that Mom didn't yell to herself forever on end. She did cry a lot, but not all loudly. At least I could talk to her about it. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since it all started, because she wouldn't shut up. Seriously, three in the morning last night, she was up there going off about Joe. Would. Not. Stop.
Okay, that's all for now. Except, of course, for the PotD: April 28th.
By the way, I am so behind on my friends' page, so if you guys get a comment on an old entry, that's why.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-28 04:16 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-04-28 05:08 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-04-28 09:14 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-04-28 11:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-28 05:10 pm (UTC)I really think you should look into what keenai said-- temping. I think that would provide you with better experience, and possibly be more fun, and blah blah blah. OK? Thanks. The end.
I hope your mom's doctor's appt went better today, too.
Re:
Date: 2003-04-28 06:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-29 05:04 am (UTC)Firstly, I hope Dosi moves your way quick, becausse I think you'd be really good for each other. Er, not in a romantic sense. I'm not some wierd pervert who has to match up all her friends.
I think it would be a good idea to have, as you say, at least the option of moving out. Then you wouldn't feel so trapped.
So, I called and left a message with my old doctor today. He's on a trip until May 18th (I assume India, because I know he goes once or twice a year). I forgot to press 1 before I hung up, but I think I remember doing that all the time last year, and my messages still going through. Even if it didn't, I know when he'll be back, and can call again then. The important thing is that I got myself to finally do it, and make the decision.
Yay! I'm really glad you called, because he sounds like he could really help you.