![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rachg82My head is throbbing at the moment & has been all day (turns out even Topamax can't stop the mighty powers of sudden temperature changes + period funtimes), so that's why no Bones review yet or XF Rewatch post today. Sorry, guys. I promise I'll get to them soon though.
I did want to just drop in real quick though to post about a few things before I get to bed:
1. My spam folder is bus-ayyyy this week. One email from my mom snuck through the gates and made it into my inbox today and I deleted it before looking at it, and then I noticed my spam folder receive two more emails within just a few hours (which is what's been happening all week. I just keep emptying it everytime I open it), and I finally gave into my curiosity and looked at them. Yes, I know I shouldn't have. But I just couldn't stand not knowing what at least a couple of them said. Now that I know, I'm back to ignoring them. But I just can't resist sharing a few choice excerpts here so I can record them for posterity. If I ever end up writing that memoir, quotes are totally getting included, because this shit is just gold.
Email #1:
Watch the video about how everyone that killed people and the school shootings were on anti-depressants. Then we will talk.
I do not give a shit how much the dose of that Prozac is I said get off it.
Email #2:
What is tough love? Evil, that is what it is!
(She then included a string of bible quotes to explain to me what "love" is that I'll spare you guys from reading, because the bible doesn't deserve to be associated with her crazyness, for real. Crazy people try to use religion to excuse their batshittery enough as it is)
What have you done? After a few visits to some only God knows who doctor you perceive yourself to be superior to me in wisdom and knowledge about psychiatry and psychotopic drugs and addiction! Amazing thing is, if anyone has that it is me after 31 years of dealing with them and it. Actually 33 years to be exact. I have done it not just for myself and my journey but also to investigate them for research for God.
You told me in your email you wanted respect yet you gave me none and no more than street garbage. I will give you some when you deserve it. I watched a video that said more people kill theirselves from psychotropic drugs than were killed in 9/11. They are what gave me kidney failure and made me act crazy for years. No Rachael I have earned my deserved respect and I am a survivor or doctor abuse and society abuse
(who wants to bet a million dollars that she's gone off her medication again? Because I'm in, all the way. Also, I never claimed to be an expert on psychiatry. What I did say was that I wanted her to seek treatment for her addictions--gasp!--and start taking her manic depression more seriously, i.e. no more quitting her meds suddenly or "forgetting" doses, and no more letting her addictions/abuse of prescription pills exacerbate her manic cycles, etc)
I would never have thought I would be abused by my own daughter, my baby, telling me goodbye becasue I am not worth the ground she walks on. Prozac is a violent inducting and agressive by nature drug that has ruined millions of lives and torn apart thousands of families including ours now.
There is not an ounce of proof any of them do any good whatsoever and they are not a cure and not healing at all. It is an illusion the drug pushers want society to believe. They are very tricky on picking on people who do not want to face life and cannot love themselves for whatever reason. It is okay to be who you are and who God created you to be. There is no way to cure mental illness nor treat it except through God and prayer and time and hope and wisdom and patience and understanding that you and me and everyone are who they are and that is the way it is unless they are hurting others and then we deal with them through the justice system.
The minute you started using it you changed and for the worse. Your whole family thinks so and has seen a huge negative change. Your friends are not your family and whether you like it or not we are your family and i am your mother who gave you your fucking life. Change your tv channel to family shows and disney and get off that shit. It is nice you lost weight but that does not change who you are.
Wow. Just, wow. Thanks for reminding me why I made the right decision, Mom. And also why I'm glad I have cable. Better check out the Disney channel more often! Otherwise I might go shoot up some schools!
2. I bought a card tonight at the store and am thinking of sending it to my sister with a note and a drawing for my nephew. I've already really said all there is to say to her, but I do feel like it might be worth writing down, as sometimes letters get through to people in a different way. And if anything, then my nephew will have something from me (the picture). I just want him to know he can call me, and that I'm thinking of him, if my sister & I aren't talking. I have no idea yet what I'll say in the note to my sister though. I mean, I know how I feel, I just don't know how in-depth I want to get as I feel like I already explained myself once, but she's acting like she doesn't understand, and I don't know if that's really true or if she's just in denial. So I don't know whether I just need to be brief in my note to her & address what I want her to tell Jayden for me, or whether it's worth explaining my position to her again, or what. I just don't know.
3. I thought more today about my ideas for taking a class, etc. I wrote down a few ideas, and I do think I want to look into it. Today I didn't take any action on it though, because I was all migraine-y and didn't do much more than talking on the phone with an old coworker (the one I was going to go to a movie with. She called & we ended up just talking on the phone for about an hour instead. We decided to put the movie off for another week), watching X-Files DVDs, and wishing I could get a head transplant. But hey, at least I made a list! Heh. So I'll look into the ideas I had later and we'll see which one ends up being affordable and convenient on the bus, etc. And hopefully I can make one of them work.
That's all for tonight, because I need to get to bed. No vid of the day this time, because see above, re: needing to get to bed. Heh.
I did want to just drop in real quick though to post about a few things before I get to bed:
1. My spam folder is bus-ayyyy this week. One email from my mom snuck through the gates and made it into my inbox today and I deleted it before looking at it, and then I noticed my spam folder receive two more emails within just a few hours (which is what's been happening all week. I just keep emptying it everytime I open it), and I finally gave into my curiosity and looked at them. Yes, I know I shouldn't have. But I just couldn't stand not knowing what at least a couple of them said. Now that I know, I'm back to ignoring them. But I just can't resist sharing a few choice excerpts here so I can record them for posterity. If I ever end up writing that memoir, quotes are totally getting included, because this shit is just gold.
Email #1:
Watch the video about how everyone that killed people and the school shootings were on anti-depressants. Then we will talk.
I do not give a shit how much the dose of that Prozac is I said get off it.
Email #2:
What is tough love? Evil, that is what it is!
(She then included a string of bible quotes to explain to me what "love" is that I'll spare you guys from reading, because the bible doesn't deserve to be associated with her crazyness, for real. Crazy people try to use religion to excuse their batshittery enough as it is)
What have you done? After a few visits to some only God knows who doctor you perceive yourself to be superior to me in wisdom and knowledge about psychiatry and psychotopic drugs and addiction! Amazing thing is, if anyone has that it is me after 31 years of dealing with them and it. Actually 33 years to be exact. I have done it not just for myself and my journey but also to investigate them for research for God.
You told me in your email you wanted respect yet you gave me none and no more than street garbage. I will give you some when you deserve it. I watched a video that said more people kill theirselves from psychotropic drugs than were killed in 9/11. They are what gave me kidney failure and made me act crazy for years. No Rachael I have earned my deserved respect and I am a survivor or doctor abuse and society abuse
(who wants to bet a million dollars that she's gone off her medication again? Because I'm in, all the way. Also, I never claimed to be an expert on psychiatry. What I did say was that I wanted her to seek treatment for her addictions--gasp!--and start taking her manic depression more seriously, i.e. no more quitting her meds suddenly or "forgetting" doses, and no more letting her addictions/abuse of prescription pills exacerbate her manic cycles, etc)
I would never have thought I would be abused by my own daughter, my baby, telling me goodbye becasue I am not worth the ground she walks on. Prozac is a violent inducting and agressive by nature drug that has ruined millions of lives and torn apart thousands of families including ours now.
There is not an ounce of proof any of them do any good whatsoever and they are not a cure and not healing at all. It is an illusion the drug pushers want society to believe. They are very tricky on picking on people who do not want to face life and cannot love themselves for whatever reason. It is okay to be who you are and who God created you to be. There is no way to cure mental illness nor treat it except through God and prayer and time and hope and wisdom and patience and understanding that you and me and everyone are who they are and that is the way it is unless they are hurting others and then we deal with them through the justice system.
The minute you started using it you changed and for the worse. Your whole family thinks so and has seen a huge negative change. Your friends are not your family and whether you like it or not we are your family and i am your mother who gave you your fucking life. Change your tv channel to family shows and disney and get off that shit. It is nice you lost weight but that does not change who you are.
Wow. Just, wow. Thanks for reminding me why I made the right decision, Mom. And also why I'm glad I have cable. Better check out the Disney channel more often! Otherwise I might go shoot up some schools!
2. I bought a card tonight at the store and am thinking of sending it to my sister with a note and a drawing for my nephew. I've already really said all there is to say to her, but I do feel like it might be worth writing down, as sometimes letters get through to people in a different way. And if anything, then my nephew will have something from me (the picture). I just want him to know he can call me, and that I'm thinking of him, if my sister & I aren't talking. I have no idea yet what I'll say in the note to my sister though. I mean, I know how I feel, I just don't know how in-depth I want to get as I feel like I already explained myself once, but she's acting like she doesn't understand, and I don't know if that's really true or if she's just in denial. So I don't know whether I just need to be brief in my note to her & address what I want her to tell Jayden for me, or whether it's worth explaining my position to her again, or what. I just don't know.
3. I thought more today about my ideas for taking a class, etc. I wrote down a few ideas, and I do think I want to look into it. Today I didn't take any action on it though, because I was all migraine-y and didn't do much more than talking on the phone with an old coworker (the one I was going to go to a movie with. She called & we ended up just talking on the phone for about an hour instead. We decided to put the movie off for another week), watching X-Files DVDs, and wishing I could get a head transplant. But hey, at least I made a list! Heh. So I'll look into the ideas I had later and we'll see which one ends up being affordable and convenient on the bus, etc. And hopefully I can make one of them work.
That's all for tonight, because I need to get to bed. No vid of the day this time, because see above, re: needing to get to bed. Heh.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-20 02:47 pm (UTC)I haven't read every single line you wrote lately (dang, lady, you can write)
Heh, especially when my life gets. . .shall we say interesting? Don't feel bad, even if you can only skim the entries and leave a quick comment letting me know you're there, that's more than enough. The rest is just me getting my feelings out. I don't expect people to necessarily have time to read the whole thing, although it's of course nice if anyone does.
They remind me of the e-mails an aunt of mine sometimes writes
Just be glad they're not from your mother! Whole different ballpark, believe me. But thanks for the support, sweetie. :)