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rachg82All right, we're getting back in the swing of things here. Two posts in one week. Progress, yes? Soon hopefully I'll start getting better at commenting regularly on your posts too (I've been reading all of them, but my commenting has been spotty and I hate that), as well as my recaps. I'm so behiiiiind, gah. Good thing summer's coming.
Speaking of tv & summer though, I have two exciting things to say about shows coming back:
-VANGUARD. Yessssss. I love this show so hard. Like, you don't understand. When I saw a commercial for its return on Current, I literally squealed outloud. My neighbors might've heard. Yes, I'm a nerd. DON'T JUDGE.
-So You Think You Can Dance. YEAH, BABY. And not only is it coming back, but it's some kind of wacky All Stars deal. Woooo! Bring on the season 2 peeps!
But anyway, enough of that. On with the entry. . .
1. So who watched Bones this week? aheolaighoeaighoigh, RIGHT?
I'm not prepared to do my complete review yet (especially considering I'm, what, three/four weeks behind? SIGH), but I had to at least talk about it some. If only so I could add to my apparently neverending "51 Things My Fandoms Have In Common" picspam. Time to add another bad boy to the list!
And just for shits & giggles:
Hee. Yes, I will use any excuse to pimp Bear McCreary. Why do you ask?
I love that song though, man. It's short, but one of my faves. And I love that scene too. How Baltar just leans his head down on the desk crying, the music comes on, the light dims, and then bam, it's one year later. And you're like, "jigga wha?" Ha.
Also, you know what this means, don't you? Obviously one of them just bought a first class ticket to a New Caprican detention center. Enjoy those eyes while they last, Booth & Brennan!
Haha. Sorry, couldn't resist.
All right, all right, enough fuckin' around. As for what I really thought, I will of course save my full reaction for my recap later on, but I'm cool with it. I really, really wanted some makin' out action (I was practically DYING during that airport scene, like "KISS! DAMN YOU!" Haha), but in all honesty I was pleased. I'm open to seeing where they go with the time-jump. As my comparison above should make obvious, I loved the year-long time-jump on BSG (it led us to the brilliance of the New Caprica arc afterall), so it can be done well. And I think Brennan's desire for space & perspective makes sense, though I wish we'd had a scene where someone questioned why Booth didn't fight for her more since the 100th ep, so he could've made it clear that it's not that he's afraid to fight for her, but is respecting her wishes & giving her the space she needs/says she wants. Which is what I believe he's doing, but I also wish the show would say that & explore it more. But that's okay, because I can read between the lines. But I think what's happening makes sense, and it's angstalicious, and also nervewracking because it's like HOLY CRAP A YEAR APART WHAT IF THEY SCREW THIS UP ROYALLY, but even so there's also so much potential for character development & plot progression there as well. I'm really looking forward to seeing what they do with it & admire HH's ballsy-ness (I can't believe I just said that, but it's true at the moment). I think right now he knows where he wants these characters to go, and his "hmm, should we have them in a relationship next season?" bullshitting to the media is largely just to fuck with us. I think a time-jump like this is a clear example that he obviously knows where he wants them to go, and he's doing what he needs to do to get them there, and he doesn't care whether that scares some fans off. And I admire that. Writers should follow where their story takes them, not just where the fans yell at them to go.
That being said, I really do hope next season is locked & loaded for Booth & Brennan to take the next step into Relationshipville because I am SO READY for it & believe they are too. I know it probably won't happen super early in the season, but if next season is going to be the last, I want as much as possible of the final season to be them actually already together. I DO NOT want a "last minute" get together. I mean, I'd be okay if that happened too (if done well), but I would really, really love to see a relationship between the two of them explored more. To bring BSG back in the mix, when Adama & Roslin were allowed to finally get together (or "being shown getting together" for you "they frakked on NC" people, haha), I basically went apeshit. And not just the "getting together" part, but everything after that point too. Like, seeing them walk down the halls holding hands? I was like HIEOLAIGHOEAIGHOAGIEHIOAGHG! Everytime. Sitting on his couch in their robes? Making out in "The Oath"? Calling him "honey"? I COULD NOT HANDLE IT. I was like, "I can't, I can't. . .HELP ME DEAL WITH THIS. THE FLAIL. IT'S TOO MUCH." So, in summation: UST, it's fun, yes. And no, you don't want to rush characters into a relationship too quickly, or do it if you have no idea how to do it properly. But an established relationship written & acted well between two characters that you've been waiting to see get together? OH MY GOD, SO GOOD. And based on how much I've enjoyed the progression of Booth & Brennan's relationship this season? I feel pretty confident that I'd enjoy an established relationship between those two played out.
So, in other words? FUCK YOU, MADE-UP MOONLIGHTING CURSE. SUCK MY SHIPPER BALLS.
Too crass? Yeah, probably. But I get really tired of people throwing that phrase around. Same with "jump the shark." STOP SAYING THAT ABOUT THINGS IT DOESN'T APPLY TO, PEOPLE.
Also: Sweets, I love you & your hilarious meow sounds. And Cam, you are awesome. Enjoy dating Mr. Cute Doctor Man while everyone else is gallivanting around the globe, and have lots & lots of hot sex. I expect you to look extremely well rested come fall.
That's it for now until my full recap later, but I do have one other thing to add, which is that I am SO COCKY right now about my theory from the beginning of this season. I'd go back & link to it right now too, but I'm just too lazy. Even so, y'all can go back & find it if you want. Point being, remember my theory (and I'm sure others out there came up with the same thing too) that the first scene of the 4th season finale wasn't actually part of Brennan's book/Booth's coma dream? That it was actually a scene from the real future? I mean, it was called THE END in the beginning, after all. And HH had told us the sex scene was going to be real. So to think that was going to be their end--with Brennan and Booth engaged--at the beginning of that episode, was not crazy to theorize about. But remember how I was like, "naaaah, I'm giving HH way too much credit!" I DON'T THINK SO ANYMORE. I'M GOING BACK TO MY THEORY, PEOPLE. Especially because, HELLO, CHECK OUT MY NEWFOUNDcrack-addled ideas PROOF:
Exhibit A: That episode was called "The End in the Beginning." The 5th season finale was called, "The Beginning in the End." Try & tell me there's not a connection.
Exhibit B: In Hodgins' narration in the 4th season finale, he (paraphrasing here), asks, "who is this woman? Is she the same woman she was a day ago? A year ago?" A YEAR AGO. In the 5th season finale--which is the 4th season finale's title rearranged--she's going away FOR A YEAR. After which time Booth & Brennan will reunite at the reflecting pool &damn well better make out decide where to go with their relationship from there.
Exhibit C: Immediately after the sex scene ends, and there's a knock on the door, it becomes Booth's dream/Brennan's story, and you look at the clock and it's changed to military time. MILITARY TIME. Symbolic much?
LADIES & GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY, I REST MY CASE. MARK MY WORDS, A YEAR FROM WHEN THEY REUNITE, BOOTH & BRENNAN WILL BE ENGAGED & SEXING IT UP. YOU WATCH.
Unless of course I'm wrong, and then, y'know, I take it all back. Heh. But whatever, BRILLIANT, right? Let's hope I'm correct, because it'd be awesome if I were. Haha.
2. Changing topics, it turns out I'm getting old. Here's how I know: That's just. . .weird. Ten years. A *decade*. HOLY SHIT I'M ALMOST THIRTY. I. . .what?!
But seriously, I'm actually really excited for it, though I'm trying not to dread the "so what have you done with your life?" questions and just focus on the part of me that's looking forward to seeing people. It's happening on June 19th and I'm not even ashamed to admit the X-Phile in me was immediately like, "THAT'S WHEN THE FIRST MOVIE PREMIERED, BACK IN '98!" Ha! DORK. I swear to God, the things I remember. But anyway, it's actually a reunion for everyone from '97-'01, because it was such a tiny school, but that makes it even more awesome because so many of my friends & the people I wasn't close to but whom I'd like to see again were also in the grades above & below me, not just my own. And Mr. Kaad, the teacher I told you guys about before (the one I basically credit with keeping me going when things got really rough at home), will be there too because he apparently owns the ballroom where the reunion will take place. I might legit fight off tears when I see him, I'm dead serious. I'm gonna try not to though, heh. But no promises.
I wonder if he'll be disappointed in me for not finishing college, or even for not becoming a teacher. I doubt it, but I couldn't help but think it when I found out he was going to be there. Because I remember on one of the last days there, the teachers were giving out awards to certain students, and he gave me this "eye on the future" award, which no joke said on it, "a word of advice: you will be most happy in the company of good listeners" (ha! Oh man, so true) and said to everyone that he was going to be really mad at me if he ran into me in the future and found out I wasn't a teacher, which is something he'd told me privately earlier that week as well. Or some kind of public speaker in general (he then told me I was one of the best two public speakers he'd ever seen, which is still to this day one of the best compliments I've ever received). So uh, yeah, hopefully he's not going to be too disappointed. Whoops.
I really do hate the idea of going to him & other teachers there though and saying I never finished college. But hey, my life sort of hit some major detours, you know? I just wish there was some casual way to be like, "hey, so I may not have been the success story you expected, but I'm getting there. And if it hadn't been for you, I quite possibly wouldn't have made it out of high school in the first place. There's a good chance I would've killed myself at seventeen. So, thank you." You know, without tearing up like a big crybaby. I doubt I'll have the nerve to say anything resembling that though, but it feels like something a person ought to know. Like, hey, your work meant something. You weren't just a teacher. You kinda saved someone's life. That teenager you helped out really did appreciate your support, and you were the only adult in her life at the time who gave her any kind of structure & guidance & real compassion. I mean, it meant so much to me that for years afterward I included him in my nightly prayers (and still do sometimes, when I remember). So, yeah, seeing him again? Will mean a lot to me. Even if when I do see him, all I do is have the nerve to say hello and act like it's no big deal. But it will be a big deal.
And it'll be a big deal seeing those people again in general. I went through a lot of difficulties during those years--my best friend's heroin addiction and our subsequent falling-out, the start of what I think of as my mom's "psych ward" years, my depression, the beginnings of my social anxiety disorder, the worsening of my migraines, my psoriasis (I used to have horrible psoriasis all over my hands and I do mean *horrible*, like discolored skin & bleeding cuts all over my palms-horrible, before I got treatment that put it into remission. And sidenote: It was btw the excuse I gave for why I stopped playing violin with my school, because it hurt my palms. But that was only half the reason. The other reason was the panic attack I had while performing in front of the school with the orchestra one day), etc--but at the same time that school was like my home & my escape too. It was an incredibly special place for me. I have so many positive memories associated with it and with the people I knew there. In a weird way, it doesn't just feel like a school reunion to me, it almost feels more like a family reunion. Is that cheesy? But really. Or at least what I imagine a family is supposed to feel like. Something that held you, and welcomed you, and where you always felt safe & like you belonged. I know not everyone felt that way there, but it's how it made me feel.
I may not have been known by everyone, but I had friends, and I felt respected, and there were adults there who liked me, and wanted me to do well, and who taught me about the world, and the environment was fun & creative & intelligent, and only occasionally wanky, and yeah. Just good times overall. Exactly how a wacky arts school should be. I mean, I'll just say this: as a freshman, I was able to show up with pink hair, black vinyl pants, black vinyl high-heeled boots, and a winnie the pooh shirt, and the reaction I got from a senior? "I love those pants!" And one of the first things I saw when I arrived there on freshmen orientation day? Was a senior visiting, wearing a floor-length hooded green velvet cape, hugging her friends, with no one blinking an eye. And in both cases, I thought to myself, "I LOVE THIS SCHOOL." Pretty much says it all. It did not matter if you showed up in Abercrombie, had a mohawk, whether you were Christian, Wiccan, atheist, gay, whatever, NO ONE CARED. I never saw a single fistfight all four years I was there. NOT ONE. The security guard's job was basically to keep my friends and I from eating inside the halls during lunch, which became an ongoing joke, because we refused to stop doing it (heh). You were there to learn, point blank. Except for the hell we put our rightwing math teacher through (I heard she had a nervous breakdown after quitting, which, yeah. Sorry about that!), we all respected our teachers, and knew they respected us.
And yeah, if it seems I put the school on a pedestal, I probably do. But though I know it wasn't perfect (like every great small community, it had its flaws and definitely got a little whiny & wanky toward the end, to the point where my best friend and I would simply refer to Town Halls as "bitchfests", heh), it still owns a piece of my heart and it always will. It was the happy home I didn't get to have as a teenager. Except, in a way, I guess I did get to have it. Because I had it there. And it doesn't really exist anymore because it got changed into some weird kind of academy with none of the same teachers, and not even the same grades etc, but we still remember it, you know? Which just makes it more special in a weird way. Because it's something only we can understand & share. Those who weren't there just wouldn't get it.
Anyway though, enough nostalgia. Except I will share one more thing. The official name of the reunion on facebook? "Rock 'n Roll High School Reunion." Hee. I love that on so many levels. That was sort of like the unofficial song for our school back in the day, thanks to a kid there who I was friends with in sophomore year who loved The Ramones, and whom I had a (basically sexless but sweet & very intense) crush on both freshman & sophomore year. Who also died in a car crash after high school, and who was one of the nicest guys I've probably ever known. I still have a Christmas card he drew for me at 15 with a cartoon of our math teacher on the front (the same one we used to torture, hee), and still remember him randomly running in the classroom one day & jumping on the table & singing that song. Haha. I can't even remember what class it was, which really bugs me, but I just remember that happening and being like, "OMG, WTF."
So in honor of that, and the fact that they ended up playing that song at my graduation as we walked up to get our diplomas (for real), we're gonna end this topic with that song, which I have no doubt will end up getting played at the reunion, and which I will inevitably I'm sure dance to like a giant dork:
And oh yes, did I forget to mention it's totally a movie? Because it is. Spoiler alert: How much do you guys wanna bet Joss Whedon saw that movie back in the day? Ha. I'M JUST SAYIN'. Remind you of anything at the end?
That's it for now, as I rambled far longer about those things than I planned to. I thought I could make room to talk about other things too from the last couple weeks (Al-Anon, my last couple counseling visits, some funny work stories & the switcharoo of desks that happened there--Meerkat Manor got split up! Well, sort of--and the email I received from my stepdad yesterday morning that unfortunately ruined my entire day before I was able to pick myself up again and enjoy my evening), but that's okay. I can always write about that stuff later, and it was a bit of a nice break to talk about easy stuff again. The rest can wait for now.
For my Vid of the Day, I'm gonna recycle a vid I've posted before (by doracaprica), but with an excuse. My reason? Because I want someone to make a vid to this song for Booth & Brennan now. This is totes a song I associate with Roslin & Adama, but as I was listening to it the other day, I realized it could also work now for Booth & Bones as well. And I want someone to make a vid for them set to it SO BAD. If I knew how to make vids, I'd do it myself, but I don't. So for the love of God, someone make it, and please, when it gets to the "letters I've written" part? You'd better have Brennan writing her book in the season 4 finale & the "nights in white satin" stuff better be set to them in bed together. Because COME ON NOW.
P.S. I'd also really like someone to redo a vid for Roslin & Adama to this song with the complete version--not the truncated one--and with clips from all four seasons. Can someone get on that shit for me, please? But nonetheless, I love this vid even so. It's dark and aching & graceful & simple, just like the song & just like them.
Speaking of tv & summer though, I have two exciting things to say about shows coming back:
-VANGUARD. Yessssss. I love this show so hard. Like, you don't understand. When I saw a commercial for its return on Current, I literally squealed outloud. My neighbors might've heard. Yes, I'm a nerd. DON'T JUDGE.
-So You Think You Can Dance. YEAH, BABY. And not only is it coming back, but it's some kind of wacky All Stars deal. Woooo! Bring on the season 2 peeps!
But anyway, enough of that. On with the entry. . .
1. So who watched Bones this week? aheolaighoeaighoigh, RIGHT?
I'm not prepared to do my complete review yet (especially considering I'm, what, three/four weeks behind? SIGH), but I had to at least talk about it some. If only so I could add to my apparently neverending "51 Things My Fandoms Have In Common" picspam. Time to add another bad boy to the list!
And just for shits & giggles:
Hee. Yes, I will use any excuse to pimp Bear McCreary. Why do you ask?
I love that song though, man. It's short, but one of my faves. And I love that scene too. How Baltar just leans his head down on the desk crying, the music comes on, the light dims, and then bam, it's one year later. And you're like, "jigga wha?" Ha.
Also, you know what this means, don't you? Obviously one of them just bought a first class ticket to a New Caprican detention center. Enjoy those eyes while they last, Booth & Brennan!
Haha. Sorry, couldn't resist.
All right, all right, enough fuckin' around. As for what I really thought, I will of course save my full reaction for my recap later on, but I'm cool with it. I really, really wanted some makin' out action (I was practically DYING during that airport scene, like "KISS! DAMN YOU!" Haha), but in all honesty I was pleased. I'm open to seeing where they go with the time-jump. As my comparison above should make obvious, I loved the year-long time-jump on BSG (it led us to the brilliance of the New Caprica arc afterall), so it can be done well. And I think Brennan's desire for space & perspective makes sense, though I wish we'd had a scene where someone questioned why Booth didn't fight for her more since the 100th ep, so he could've made it clear that it's not that he's afraid to fight for her, but is respecting her wishes & giving her the space she needs/says she wants. Which is what I believe he's doing, but I also wish the show would say that & explore it more. But that's okay, because I can read between the lines. But I think what's happening makes sense, and it's angstalicious, and also nervewracking because it's like HOLY CRAP A YEAR APART WHAT IF THEY SCREW THIS UP ROYALLY, but even so there's also so much potential for character development & plot progression there as well. I'm really looking forward to seeing what they do with it & admire HH's ballsy-ness (I can't believe I just said that, but it's true at the moment). I think right now he knows where he wants these characters to go, and his "hmm, should we have them in a relationship next season?" bullshitting to the media is largely just to fuck with us. I think a time-jump like this is a clear example that he obviously knows where he wants them to go, and he's doing what he needs to do to get them there, and he doesn't care whether that scares some fans off. And I admire that. Writers should follow where their story takes them, not just where the fans yell at them to go.
That being said, I really do hope next season is locked & loaded for Booth & Brennan to take the next step into Relationshipville because I am SO READY for it & believe they are too. I know it probably won't happen super early in the season, but if next season is going to be the last, I want as much as possible of the final season to be them actually already together. I DO NOT want a "last minute" get together. I mean, I'd be okay if that happened too (if done well), but I would really, really love to see a relationship between the two of them explored more. To bring BSG back in the mix, when Adama & Roslin were allowed to finally get together (or "being shown getting together" for you "they frakked on NC" people, haha), I basically went apeshit. And not just the "getting together" part, but everything after that point too. Like, seeing them walk down the halls holding hands? I was like HIEOLAIGHOEAIGHOAGIEHIOAGHG! Everytime. Sitting on his couch in their robes? Making out in "The Oath"? Calling him "honey"? I COULD NOT HANDLE IT. I was like, "I can't, I can't. . .HELP ME DEAL WITH THIS. THE FLAIL. IT'S TOO MUCH." So, in summation: UST, it's fun, yes. And no, you don't want to rush characters into a relationship too quickly, or do it if you have no idea how to do it properly. But an established relationship written & acted well between two characters that you've been waiting to see get together? OH MY GOD, SO GOOD. And based on how much I've enjoyed the progression of Booth & Brennan's relationship this season? I feel pretty confident that I'd enjoy an established relationship between those two played out.
So, in other words? FUCK YOU, MADE-UP MOONLIGHTING CURSE. SUCK MY SHIPPER BALLS.
Too crass? Yeah, probably. But I get really tired of people throwing that phrase around. Same with "jump the shark." STOP SAYING THAT ABOUT THINGS IT DOESN'T APPLY TO, PEOPLE.
Also: Sweets, I love you & your hilarious meow sounds. And Cam, you are awesome. Enjoy dating Mr. Cute Doctor Man while everyone else is gallivanting around the globe, and have lots & lots of hot sex. I expect you to look extremely well rested come fall.
That's it for now until my full recap later, but I do have one other thing to add, which is that I am SO COCKY right now about my theory from the beginning of this season. I'd go back & link to it right now too, but I'm just too lazy. Even so, y'all can go back & find it if you want. Point being, remember my theory (and I'm sure others out there came up with the same thing too) that the first scene of the 4th season finale wasn't actually part of Brennan's book/Booth's coma dream? That it was actually a scene from the real future? I mean, it was called THE END in the beginning, after all. And HH had told us the sex scene was going to be real. So to think that was going to be their end--with Brennan and Booth engaged--at the beginning of that episode, was not crazy to theorize about. But remember how I was like, "naaaah, I'm giving HH way too much credit!" I DON'T THINK SO ANYMORE. I'M GOING BACK TO MY THEORY, PEOPLE. Especially because, HELLO, CHECK OUT MY NEWFOUND
Exhibit A: That episode was called "The End in the Beginning." The 5th season finale was called, "The Beginning in the End." Try & tell me there's not a connection.
Exhibit B: In Hodgins' narration in the 4th season finale, he (paraphrasing here), asks, "who is this woman? Is she the same woman she was a day ago? A year ago?" A YEAR AGO. In the 5th season finale--which is the 4th season finale's title rearranged--she's going away FOR A YEAR. After which time Booth & Brennan will reunite at the reflecting pool &
Exhibit C: Immediately after the sex scene ends, and there's a knock on the door, it becomes Booth's dream/Brennan's story, and you look at the clock and it's changed to military time. MILITARY TIME. Symbolic much?
LADIES & GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY, I REST MY CASE. MARK MY WORDS, A YEAR FROM WHEN THEY REUNITE, BOOTH & BRENNAN WILL BE ENGAGED & SEXING IT UP. YOU WATCH.
Unless of course I'm wrong, and then, y'know, I take it all back. Heh. But whatever, BRILLIANT, right? Let's hope I'm correct, because it'd be awesome if I were. Haha.
2. Changing topics, it turns out I'm getting old. Here's how I know: That's just. . .weird. Ten years. A *decade*. HOLY SHIT I'M ALMOST THIRTY. I. . .what?!
But seriously, I'm actually really excited for it, though I'm trying not to dread the "so what have you done with your life?" questions and just focus on the part of me that's looking forward to seeing people. It's happening on June 19th and I'm not even ashamed to admit the X-Phile in me was immediately like, "THAT'S WHEN THE FIRST MOVIE PREMIERED, BACK IN '98!" Ha! DORK. I swear to God, the things I remember. But anyway, it's actually a reunion for everyone from '97-'01, because it was such a tiny school, but that makes it even more awesome because so many of my friends & the people I wasn't close to but whom I'd like to see again were also in the grades above & below me, not just my own. And Mr. Kaad, the teacher I told you guys about before (the one I basically credit with keeping me going when things got really rough at home), will be there too because he apparently owns the ballroom where the reunion will take place. I might legit fight off tears when I see him, I'm dead serious. I'm gonna try not to though, heh. But no promises.
I wonder if he'll be disappointed in me for not finishing college, or even for not becoming a teacher. I doubt it, but I couldn't help but think it when I found out he was going to be there. Because I remember on one of the last days there, the teachers were giving out awards to certain students, and he gave me this "eye on the future" award, which no joke said on it, "a word of advice: you will be most happy in the company of good listeners" (ha! Oh man, so true) and said to everyone that he was going to be really mad at me if he ran into me in the future and found out I wasn't a teacher, which is something he'd told me privately earlier that week as well. Or some kind of public speaker in general (he then told me I was one of the best two public speakers he'd ever seen, which is still to this day one of the best compliments I've ever received). So uh, yeah, hopefully he's not going to be too disappointed. Whoops.
I really do hate the idea of going to him & other teachers there though and saying I never finished college. But hey, my life sort of hit some major detours, you know? I just wish there was some casual way to be like, "hey, so I may not have been the success story you expected, but I'm getting there. And if it hadn't been for you, I quite possibly wouldn't have made it out of high school in the first place. There's a good chance I would've killed myself at seventeen. So, thank you." You know, without tearing up like a big crybaby. I doubt I'll have the nerve to say anything resembling that though, but it feels like something a person ought to know. Like, hey, your work meant something. You weren't just a teacher. You kinda saved someone's life. That teenager you helped out really did appreciate your support, and you were the only adult in her life at the time who gave her any kind of structure & guidance & real compassion. I mean, it meant so much to me that for years afterward I included him in my nightly prayers (and still do sometimes, when I remember). So, yeah, seeing him again? Will mean a lot to me. Even if when I do see him, all I do is have the nerve to say hello and act like it's no big deal. But it will be a big deal.
And it'll be a big deal seeing those people again in general. I went through a lot of difficulties during those years--my best friend's heroin addiction and our subsequent falling-out, the start of what I think of as my mom's "psych ward" years, my depression, the beginnings of my social anxiety disorder, the worsening of my migraines, my psoriasis (I used to have horrible psoriasis all over my hands and I do mean *horrible*, like discolored skin & bleeding cuts all over my palms-horrible, before I got treatment that put it into remission. And sidenote: It was btw the excuse I gave for why I stopped playing violin with my school, because it hurt my palms. But that was only half the reason. The other reason was the panic attack I had while performing in front of the school with the orchestra one day), etc--but at the same time that school was like my home & my escape too. It was an incredibly special place for me. I have so many positive memories associated with it and with the people I knew there. In a weird way, it doesn't just feel like a school reunion to me, it almost feels more like a family reunion. Is that cheesy? But really. Or at least what I imagine a family is supposed to feel like. Something that held you, and welcomed you, and where you always felt safe & like you belonged. I know not everyone felt that way there, but it's how it made me feel.
I may not have been known by everyone, but I had friends, and I felt respected, and there were adults there who liked me, and wanted me to do well, and who taught me about the world, and the environment was fun & creative & intelligent, and only occasionally wanky, and yeah. Just good times overall. Exactly how a wacky arts school should be. I mean, I'll just say this: as a freshman, I was able to show up with pink hair, black vinyl pants, black vinyl high-heeled boots, and a winnie the pooh shirt, and the reaction I got from a senior? "I love those pants!" And one of the first things I saw when I arrived there on freshmen orientation day? Was a senior visiting, wearing a floor-length hooded green velvet cape, hugging her friends, with no one blinking an eye. And in both cases, I thought to myself, "I LOVE THIS SCHOOL." Pretty much says it all. It did not matter if you showed up in Abercrombie, had a mohawk, whether you were Christian, Wiccan, atheist, gay, whatever, NO ONE CARED. I never saw a single fistfight all four years I was there. NOT ONE. The security guard's job was basically to keep my friends and I from eating inside the halls during lunch, which became an ongoing joke, because we refused to stop doing it (heh). You were there to learn, point blank. Except for the hell we put our rightwing math teacher through (I heard she had a nervous breakdown after quitting, which, yeah. Sorry about that!), we all respected our teachers, and knew they respected us.
And yeah, if it seems I put the school on a pedestal, I probably do. But though I know it wasn't perfect (like every great small community, it had its flaws and definitely got a little whiny & wanky toward the end, to the point where my best friend and I would simply refer to Town Halls as "bitchfests", heh), it still owns a piece of my heart and it always will. It was the happy home I didn't get to have as a teenager. Except, in a way, I guess I did get to have it. Because I had it there. And it doesn't really exist anymore because it got changed into some weird kind of academy with none of the same teachers, and not even the same grades etc, but we still remember it, you know? Which just makes it more special in a weird way. Because it's something only we can understand & share. Those who weren't there just wouldn't get it.
Anyway though, enough nostalgia. Except I will share one more thing. The official name of the reunion on facebook? "Rock 'n Roll High School Reunion." Hee. I love that on so many levels. That was sort of like the unofficial song for our school back in the day, thanks to a kid there who I was friends with in sophomore year who loved The Ramones, and whom I had a (basically sexless but sweet & very intense) crush on both freshman & sophomore year. Who also died in a car crash after high school, and who was one of the nicest guys I've probably ever known. I still have a Christmas card he drew for me at 15 with a cartoon of our math teacher on the front (the same one we used to torture, hee), and still remember him randomly running in the classroom one day & jumping on the table & singing that song. Haha. I can't even remember what class it was, which really bugs me, but I just remember that happening and being like, "OMG, WTF."
So in honor of that, and the fact that they ended up playing that song at my graduation as we walked up to get our diplomas (for real), we're gonna end this topic with that song, which I have no doubt will end up getting played at the reunion, and which I will inevitably I'm sure dance to like a giant dork:
And oh yes, did I forget to mention it's totally a movie? Because it is. Spoiler alert: How much do you guys wanna bet Joss Whedon saw that movie back in the day? Ha. I'M JUST SAYIN'. Remind you of anything at the end?
That's it for now, as I rambled far longer about those things than I planned to. I thought I could make room to talk about other things too from the last couple weeks (Al-Anon, my last couple counseling visits, some funny work stories & the switcharoo of desks that happened there--Meerkat Manor got split up! Well, sort of--and the email I received from my stepdad yesterday morning that unfortunately ruined my entire day before I was able to pick myself up again and enjoy my evening), but that's okay. I can always write about that stuff later, and it was a bit of a nice break to talk about easy stuff again. The rest can wait for now.
For my Vid of the Day, I'm gonna recycle a vid I've posted before (by doracaprica), but with an excuse. My reason? Because I want someone to make a vid to this song for Booth & Brennan now. This is totes a song I associate with Roslin & Adama, but as I was listening to it the other day, I realized it could also work now for Booth & Bones as well. And I want someone to make a vid for them set to it SO BAD. If I knew how to make vids, I'd do it myself, but I don't. So for the love of God, someone make it, and please, when it gets to the "letters I've written" part? You'd better have Brennan writing her book in the season 4 finale & the "nights in white satin" stuff better be set to them in bed together. Because COME ON NOW.
P.S. I'd also really like someone to redo a vid for Roslin & Adama to this song with the complete version--not the truncated one--and with clips from all four seasons. Can someone get on that shit for me, please? But nonetheless, I love this vid even so. It's dark and aching & graceful & simple, just like the song & just like them.
