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Today has been particularly stressful. Actually yesterday was as well, but at least I got to see my counselor today. Still, yes: stress. For one, my surgeon ordered a barium swallow for me to see if my stomach is even making progress, but now I'm getting stonewalled because of my huge-ass bill & lack of funds. It's not fair, because they're the ones who gave me the first surgery, which didn't work, and then forced me to get this feeding tube (they had me on a hold by then already without telling me. My sister is the one who let me know that), telling me I'd only use it for maybe two months. And it's been two months now. I don't think I should even have to pay for the barium swallow -- it's their fault they didn't fix it the first time. And now I'm worried that they're going to make a second surgery difficult for me as well, if in fact I do end up needing one. I'm not feeling super optimistic about my stomach's ability to heal after I spent all day yesterday throwing up again. The only hope I have is that my doctor can either work something out for me, or that he can refer me to a different surgeon at OHSU, where I've been approved already for financial assistance. As it stands now, I've had my records sent over there twice & not received a response, but I'm hoping the process would be easier if I had my doctor communicating with them directly. Who knows. The least these fuckers could do is just give me the test & bill me after, since my request for financial assistance at that hospital is still pending.
At the same time, my food stamp benefits have been stopped due to some new rule for students where if you're attending classes at least half-time then you have to be working at least twenty hours a week. Obviously that's not a realistic option for me right now. They told me they might make an exception if I had a doctor's note explaining that I can't work, so my counselor & psychiatrist are going to make that happen, but it's still super stressful that I don't know for sure if that will make them give me my benefits back.
On top of that, I'm going to run out of money before my December rent is due, and I really don't want to have to ask my grandma for the money, because it's going to be such a large amount. I don't want to bug you guys for donations again either, though obviously I'd be appreciative if anyone did help. I'm just going to post the link in case (anything lowering the amount I have to ask Nanny for is a plus), and cross my fingers that I can get my disability claim approved quickly so I can stop relying on others:
In other stressful news, my ex brother-in-law continues to be a douche. Today when my sister was dropping my nephew off at their dad's, Isabella got out of the car & tried to wave at her father through the window. But he couldn't even be bothered to open the front door & say hello to her or try to address why she doesn't want to come over anymore. He just waved back & that was it. Then Isabella spent the entire car ride home bawling. And meanwhile he told my sister via text the other day that Isabella is apparently just her "problem" now. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. He's the one who constantly neglects her & then slapped her, but it's all her fault in his mind. And he's being vindictive & playing mind games with a five-year-old. CLASSY, DUDE. He's acting so much like my own dad that it's freaking me out.
In less stressful news (of course I have other things stressing me out, like how long my disability claim will take, what I'll do about money in the meantime, what I'll major in when I get to PSU, whether I could still become a teacher if I could only work part-time, if I even SHOULD try to become a teacher or if I should look into writing -- the worries go on & on), at least I'm keeping up with my classes fairly well, and I did get to spend last weekend with the kids. First we went to a pumpkin patch with all sorts of fun kid activities, and the next day I carved pumpkins with them. ( pictures here )
If I feel up to it, I'm going over to my sister's tomorrow to play with Izzie, giving her the extra love I think she needs right now, and give my sister a break (since she's not going to her dad's anymore, my sister doesn't really get a moment to herself). If I'm REALLY having a good day, I'm going to hit the mall first so I can get a pair of jeans that fit properly with that gift card my grandma gave me a while back. Exciting, I know.
For my Vid of the Day, I'd like to revisit season 2 of AHS. So far the current season is proving to be equally as crazy, and equally full of HBICs. I approve! I do feel like this season is less intense so far though, but they could just be warming up.
At the same time, my food stamp benefits have been stopped due to some new rule for students where if you're attending classes at least half-time then you have to be working at least twenty hours a week. Obviously that's not a realistic option for me right now. They told me they might make an exception if I had a doctor's note explaining that I can't work, so my counselor & psychiatrist are going to make that happen, but it's still super stressful that I don't know for sure if that will make them give me my benefits back.
On top of that, I'm going to run out of money before my December rent is due, and I really don't want to have to ask my grandma for the money, because it's going to be such a large amount. I don't want to bug you guys for donations again either, though obviously I'd be appreciative if anyone did help. I'm just going to post the link in case (anything lowering the amount I have to ask Nanny for is a plus), and cross my fingers that I can get my disability claim approved quickly so I can stop relying on others:
In other stressful news, my ex brother-in-law continues to be a douche. Today when my sister was dropping my nephew off at their dad's, Isabella got out of the car & tried to wave at her father through the window. But he couldn't even be bothered to open the front door & say hello to her or try to address why she doesn't want to come over anymore. He just waved back & that was it. Then Isabella spent the entire car ride home bawling. And meanwhile he told my sister via text the other day that Isabella is apparently just her "problem" now. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. He's the one who constantly neglects her & then slapped her, but it's all her fault in his mind. And he's being vindictive & playing mind games with a five-year-old. CLASSY, DUDE. He's acting so much like my own dad that it's freaking me out.
In less stressful news (of course I have other things stressing me out, like how long my disability claim will take, what I'll do about money in the meantime, what I'll major in when I get to PSU, whether I could still become a teacher if I could only work part-time, if I even SHOULD try to become a teacher or if I should look into writing -- the worries go on & on), at least I'm keeping up with my classes fairly well, and I did get to spend last weekend with the kids. First we went to a pumpkin patch with all sorts of fun kid activities, and the next day I carved pumpkins with them. ( pictures here )
If I feel up to it, I'm going over to my sister's tomorrow to play with Izzie, giving her the extra love I think she needs right now, and give my sister a break (since she's not going to her dad's anymore, my sister doesn't really get a moment to herself). If I'm REALLY having a good day, I'm going to hit the mall first so I can get a pair of jeans that fit properly with that gift card my grandma gave me a while back. Exciting, I know.
For my Vid of the Day, I'd like to revisit season 2 of AHS. So far the current season is proving to be equally as crazy, and equally full of HBICs. I approve! I do feel like this season is less intense so far though, but they could just be warming up.
