Shine your light for the world to see
Dec. 6th, 2010 12:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rachg821. The use of this icon is mostly random (there's always a logic to everything I do, but explaining it can sometimes be like following Alice down the rabbit-hole), yet it is really, REALLY making me want to rewatch "Redux II." Oh, Moose & Squirrel. JUST LOOK AT YOU TWO.
2. I have new fwends (misspelled on purpose, mmkay). Welcome! Enjoy my crazy; there's plenty to go around. A quick look through my tags will show you that real fast. (Who else makes picspams like this and debates shipper pairings like this? I. . .have issues, haha.)
3. I was considering once again just going off the Topamax for my migraines because one of its side effects is suppressing the appetite--and hi, like I need the added assistance right now--but then I got a bunch of extra gnarly worse-than-usual/all-day migraines in response to lowering the dose and was like, "uhh, yeahhhhh. HOW ABOUT NOT." Now I'm adjusting to raising the dose back up all over again and keep typing the wrong words by mistake. WTF, brain. Just because you're taking anti-epilepsy medication despite not having epilepsy. Stop acting like that's ~weird~. Big baby.
4. I re-named my journal, just for those of you who haven't noticed yet. "We don't need no hateration in this dancery." Hee. I figured I quote it enough, what the Hell. Hearts forever to anyone who knows what song it's from.
5.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
huh920, you asked me to give you a reminder to talk to me about Bones in my next entry, so here you go, m'lady. (and ooooh, "m'lady." Don't you feel special?) LET'S GET CRACKA-LACKIN'. Or however that's spelled.<--*is simply a cracka' that's lackin'*
6. I didn't end up getting my BSG rewatch on this weekend (worked on my Bones fic instead), but this video is giving me an incredible craving for it now. I have too many shows in my life, seriously. But for real, THIS. This is why they won my Shipper Showdown, yo. "I like it so much I don't want it to be over. . ." Ahhh. Don't they know I can't take it when they bring up the books? (he carries her baaaaag, for the love of--THEY'RE SO SWEET. *passes out*)
7. It's been decided I should only leave the house when adorned (ooh la la, it's all the rage right now in Milan) by a padded sumo outfit, seeing as I almost got hit by a car again today. I say "again" because it's not exactly a rare occurrence in my life, you see. I'm a bit absent-minded professor-y & could probably benefit from a companion dog to be like, "WOOF, BITCH. STOP AT THE INTERSECTION. THAT THERE IS A SEMI TRUCK." This time my near-death experience involved a kind samaritan honking just in time for me to look up & see a car coming at me in the middle of the crosswalk. Good times. Except not really. It's a good thing random strangers apparently watch me as I walk, even though drivers who are about to plow into me can't manage it. As one friend on facebook observed, thank God I don't have a cellphone. Also? Thank God I don't drive.
P.S. We also decided (still on facebook, obv) that the sumo-suits should be passed around so that a YouTube flashmob can ensue. Y'know, as one does.
8. Re: my mood icon, my stomach hurts. I'm not a fan. The whole reason I was out almost getting killed was because I was attempting to buy myself lunch--THANKS A LOT, LIFE. For what it's worth though, I did accomplish my goal & eat it (right after I figuratively nearly "ate it." *rimshot* Get it? Ahaha. . .ha. Er). I even got a cookie. Whoo, doggie. The cookie might've been what backfired though, I'm not sure. I just know I've had acid reflux all night, so I ended up skipping dinner. All that & still one meal for the day. Oy. At least I tried though, right? I think taking more walks again (or going for longer walks when I get food/go shopping, either way) will help too as it will give the anxiety a chance to calm down if I get panicky. I'm beginning to treat the whole situation--going out, going shopping, eating, all of it--as exposures, because it helps to look at it methodically like that for me, and I know it's easier to make progress with longer-lasting exposures than it is quick & intense ones.
9. I'm supposed to see my counselor tomorrow (technically, I was supposed to last week, but cancelled), and I don't want to. I know I need to, but really? I just want to put my emotions into a little box & send them away somewhere. I want to wake up with everything brand new & shiny & not have to talk about how bad I've let everything get. I'm walking such a fine line right now between "Everything's fine! No, really! I'm gonna fix all of this-- don't worry about me" and "Everything is really, really not fine. I think I might need help, but I'm not gonna ask for it." I just don't know anymore. Like I was trying to say the other day, I just feel so tired & inept. All I can do is keep going, keep trying.
10. I've been going crrrrazy (facetiously so) for Talib Kweli, Hi-Tek, and Mos Def the last few days. Long, Hot Summer, In the Red, Let it Go (I love unapologetically non-romantic break-up songs like this, haha. Reminds me of I'm Leaving You Because I Don't Love You by Jens Lekman), Just Begun, and Umi Says have all been playing on a pretty much non-stop 24/7 loop. I've loved them for years, don't get me wrong, but nghhh, nothing like rediscovering that love & coming across new songs at the same time.
Which is why my Vid of the Day today will also come to you by Mos Def. This song & video is deeply moving to me (much like "Umi Says"), not just on a historical/civil rights level, but personally as well. "Don't give up; don't give in." 'Nuff said.
2. I have new fwends (misspelled on purpose, mmkay). Welcome! Enjoy my crazy; there's plenty to go around. A quick look through my tags will show you that real fast. (Who else makes picspams like this and debates shipper pairings like this? I. . .have issues, haha.)
3. I was considering once again just going off the Topamax for my migraines because one of its side effects is suppressing the appetite--and hi, like I need the added assistance right now--but then I got a bunch of extra gnarly worse-than-usual/all-day migraines in response to lowering the dose and was like, "uhh, yeahhhhh. HOW ABOUT NOT." Now I'm adjusting to raising the dose back up all over again and keep typing the wrong words by mistake. WTF, brain. Just because you're taking anti-epilepsy medication despite not having epilepsy. Stop acting like that's ~weird~. Big baby.
4. I re-named my journal, just for those of you who haven't noticed yet. "We don't need no hateration in this dancery." Hee. I figured I quote it enough, what the Hell. Hearts forever to anyone who knows what song it's from.
5.
huh920, you asked me to give you a reminder to talk to me about Bones in my next entry, so here you go, m'lady. (and ooooh, "m'lady." Don't you feel special?) LET'S GET CRACKA-LACKIN'. Or however that's spelled.<--*is simply a cracka' that's lackin'*6. I didn't end up getting my BSG rewatch on this weekend (worked on my Bones fic instead), but this video is giving me an incredible craving for it now. I have too many shows in my life, seriously. But for real, THIS. This is why they won my Shipper Showdown, yo. "I like it so much I don't want it to be over. . ." Ahhh. Don't they know I can't take it when they bring up the books? (he carries her baaaaag, for the love of--THEY'RE SO SWEET. *passes out*)
7. It's been decided I should only leave the house when adorned (ooh la la, it's all the rage right now in Milan) by a padded sumo outfit, seeing as I almost got hit by a car again today. I say "again" because it's not exactly a rare occurrence in my life, you see. I'm a bit absent-minded professor-y & could probably benefit from a companion dog to be like, "WOOF, BITCH. STOP AT THE INTERSECTION. THAT THERE IS A SEMI TRUCK." This time my near-death experience involved a kind samaritan honking just in time for me to look up & see a car coming at me in the middle of the crosswalk. Good times. Except not really. It's a good thing random strangers apparently watch me as I walk, even though drivers who are about to plow into me can't manage it. As one friend on facebook observed, thank God I don't have a cellphone. Also? Thank God I don't drive.
P.S. We also decided (still on facebook, obv) that the sumo-suits should be passed around so that a YouTube flashmob can ensue. Y'know, as one does.
8. Re: my mood icon, my stomach hurts. I'm not a fan. The whole reason I was out almost getting killed was because I was attempting to buy myself lunch--THANKS A LOT, LIFE. For what it's worth though, I did accomplish my goal & eat it (right after I figuratively nearly "ate it." *rimshot* Get it? Ahaha. . .ha. Er). I even got a cookie. Whoo, doggie. The cookie might've been what backfired though, I'm not sure. I just know I've had acid reflux all night, so I ended up skipping dinner. All that & still one meal for the day. Oy. At least I tried though, right? I think taking more walks again (or going for longer walks when I get food/go shopping, either way) will help too as it will give the anxiety a chance to calm down if I get panicky. I'm beginning to treat the whole situation--going out, going shopping, eating, all of it--as exposures, because it helps to look at it methodically like that for me, and I know it's easier to make progress with longer-lasting exposures than it is quick & intense ones.
9. I'm supposed to see my counselor tomorrow (technically, I was supposed to last week, but cancelled), and I don't want to. I know I need to, but really? I just want to put my emotions into a little box & send them away somewhere. I want to wake up with everything brand new & shiny & not have to talk about how bad I've let everything get. I'm walking such a fine line right now between "Everything's fine! No, really! I'm gonna fix all of this-- don't worry about me" and "Everything is really, really not fine. I think I might need help, but I'm not gonna ask for it." I just don't know anymore. Like I was trying to say the other day, I just feel so tired & inept. All I can do is keep going, keep trying.
10. I've been going crrrrazy (facetiously so) for Talib Kweli, Hi-Tek, and Mos Def the last few days. Long, Hot Summer, In the Red, Let it Go (I love unapologetically non-romantic break-up songs like this, haha. Reminds me of I'm Leaving You Because I Don't Love You by Jens Lekman), Just Begun, and Umi Says have all been playing on a pretty much non-stop 24/7 loop. I've loved them for years, don't get me wrong, but nghhh, nothing like rediscovering that love & coming across new songs at the same time.
Which is why my Vid of the Day today will also come to you by Mos Def. This song & video is deeply moving to me (much like "Umi Says"), not just on a historical/civil rights level, but personally as well. "Don't give up; don't give in." 'Nuff said.
