(no subject)

Damn. I don't know what's with me, lately. My body doesn't want to sleep all night, even if I haven't slept enough the night before. Like, even if I only slept around six hours (which, for me, leaves me sleepy all day) the prior night, I still don't fall asleep until like at least four. Often even 5:30, lately. And I only force myself to go to bed then, because I hear my Mom up, and don't want her to come down and be all "You're still up?!" Like it would matter, if she did, but still. So, anyway, I stay up all night, and then am tired all day. And, lately, my body has been randomly pulling this "I think I'll sleep all damn day, thanks." Usually though, I'll at least wake up periodically throughout the afternoon. But, today? Nope. I first woke up at noon, had a headache, and was tired, so I thought "I'll go back to bed for like another hour, per usual. Then, I'll get up." Normal, for me. But, did I wake up to my loud-ass alarm an hour later? No. How about two hours later? Nope. Three? Negatory. Guess what time I woke up? Oh, FIVE. Christ. And, wasn't I supposed to be at work at five? Right. So, guess who called in? That would be me.

Shit, shit, shit. What the fuck? I mean, that's like eleven hours of sleep. And I am STILL TIRED feeling. Like, I could go back to bed right now. Maybe it's because of the cold I've had? Or what? I don't even know. But, damn. Peppy was pissed, when I called. All "Could you be in, later tonight?" The hell? It's already five (when I called). I told her I wasn't feeling well. Why can't that be the end of it? They always schedule a shitload of people now during the weekdays (but not the weekends, because they're brilliant), so it's not like they need me, tonight. And she all lectured me, like "We just talked about getting here on time, the other week." I told her "I've been catching earlier buses, and getting to work early, ever since." Nevermind the fact that I go when I'm feeling nightmarishly horrible. And that I come in extra days, when she asks. Like, last week. I closed two extra nights. But that doesn't count for anything. I haven't missed in a long time. And, for me, that's a real accomplishment. Especially during this season, when I get colds and all. And, lately, my migraines have been bad, for some reason that I don't understand. They just have no idea what it takes for me to be there as much as I even am.

Fuck, I'm annoyed by myself right now. And work. I hate this point system. If they try to fire me, I'm just going to bring up Tanna, the manager, who has missed more than me, for the same reason (migraines), and who hasn't been fired. Because it wouldn't be fair. Damn! I didn't mean to do this today, you know? And, last night, I took a couple benadryl, to try and force my ass to get tired early (which usually works). But it didn't. And, when I got up at noon, I took three excedrin, for my headache. You'd think, with all that caffeine, my body wouldn't have slept straight through alarms until five o'clock in the fucking evening. What is wrong with me?

I'm trying not to let this get me down. Like, what I want to do is get in bed, and wallow in depression. Or sleep more. Because eleven hours wasn't enough, I guess. Sigh. But, I guess like Mom said, if I got fired, I could try to get unemployment, right? And there's got to be another job out there, somewhere, that I could find. But, the job market fucking SUCKS right now. Especially around here. Freckles told me that it took her three months, when she moved here, to find a job. But of course she was looking for full-time work, and didn't apply at any other department stores than Sears. And she applied at a bunch of book stores, and they often seem to not need new people, around here. I remember, because I looked for a job at them, when I was younger. But, no matter what happens, I could figure something out that would work for me, right?

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

You Are a Cybernormal!

You know how to find all the online action.

But you only respond if you have a strong attraction.

You've got to step up, if you want to get down or dirty.

Or you might not get laid again - until you're 30!



Are *You* a Cyberslut?

Heh. Good thing they didn't ask "Have you ever read fanfic involving two FBI agents, doing the nasty?" Not. . .that I have. . .or anything. . .

Hee. Except you know I have.

My Mom needs to learn how to walk downstairs, if she wants me. She yells my name, and I can't understand a word she's saying, and I don't feel up to doing this right now. . .

Her: Rachael! Blah blah blah!
Me: What?!
Her: I said blah blah blah!
Me: I can't hear a word you're saying!
Her: What?!
Me: Sigh!

I've told her before, if you want me, walk your happy ass down the stairs and talk to me like a normal person. Heh, she finally just did. She hates it when I do that (she'll be yelling my name, and I just won't answer, and pretend I don't hear her). Well, see? It works. I don't answer, and eventually she'll walk down.

Her and Joe are so fucking loud. They're talking to each other about random crap right now, but because it's them, they aren't really talking. They're yelling. My sister is loud too. My Mom even talks to no one, upstairs. She'll be up there, rambling away, like anyone's listening, and she'll even do that loudly. In fact, my Mom's whole family is like that. I swear, it's like living with that character Will Farrell played on SNL, who couldn't control the volume of his voice. When I talk to my sister on the phone, I swear, I have to hold the phone away from my ear. Joe is naturally loud too, and he's only gotten louder over the years, being in this family. And noise bugs me. So, I'm sitting here right now, all "shut uuuuuuuuuup!" Hee. In fact, I just yelled that, but of course no one paid attention.

Heh, oh well. It's not like I'm not loud too. I was always the one teachers singled out in class, all "shhh!" Even when others were talking. The teacher would be all "But your voice carries, so I hear you better." Um, okay. Heh. And I've had friends be all "Rachael, quiet." Hee. Like, when I'm going off on something, or talking and getting excited. They'll stop me and tell me to turn it down. I'll be all "Oops, my bad."

In other news, that cartoon I'm working on is looking pretty good. I swear, dosi, it will be done before we're ninety.

I'm more Aardsy than Aardsy!

So, I had some enjoyable IM conversations today, and they're interesting only to me and the people I had them with, I'm sure, but look at me posting them anyway! Hee. Why? Because I can. Heh. No, this first one I found amusing, just because it shows how I'm surrounded my grammar nazis, with you people. And I used to think that I was a grammar nerd. Well, more like a spelling nerd, really. But I'm not incoherent, anyway, when it comes to my grammar. But, since befriending online people, I've realized I have the ability to make grammar nazis cry. ( It's good times! )