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Dec. 18th, 2002 01:00 amDrained and dumb, but they didn't have "dumb" as a mood icon, so just drained. Heh. ( It's almost humorous how retarded I get, when I'm really pooped. )
Dec. 18th, 2002
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Dec. 18th, 2002 05:12 amI just remembered something else from my day, and felt like mentioning it. While we were talking, the customer who needed help every second suddenly gave me this look, and was all "Wait, how old are you?" and I told him, and he was like "What? Really?" and I said "Really" and he looked me up and down and said, slightly incredulously, "You look like a kid!" Hey, thanks, buddy. I needed to hear that, today. God forbid I go a day not hearing it. And to think I was feeling slightly good about my appearance before that.
Stupid people. Stupid body. Stupid. . .everything.
Stupid people. Stupid body. Stupid. . .everything.
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Dec. 18th, 2002 07:19 pmI'm still feeling really sad about Tabbers; I had a good, long cry over it last night. Or I suppose I should say this morning, since I stayed up until like seven. I feel like it's my fault, if she's dead. It shouldn't have mattered that we didn't have money, we should've figured out a way to get her the medication sooner, and stuck with it. I thought she was okay, though. I was stupid. I feel so bad about it.
I'm still hoping she'll come home, but Mom's totally given up hope now, basically. It's been four days. She did this sort of thing when Mickey was here, but she never used to, otherwise. It's not normal for her. I kept worrying over her lately too, because she's old, you know? Everytime I'd see her sleeping, I'd double check to make sure I could see her belly rising and falling, and that she was breathing. I don't know, it would be hard enough having her die now of old age (like, the thought that she's never coming back is so upsetting. I don't think people who haven't grown up with the same, one pet, could understand. Knowing that pet is there, every day, as a reliable source of happiness. Having their unconditional love, the way they purr--or wag their tail, in a dog's case--when they're happy, all of it. Just seeing the Christmas tree, and thinking that I won't be seeing her lie under it this year, won't be seeing her act like a kitten and start playing with the wrapping paper and bows on Christmas Eve, it's just too much.), but it's so much worse, because I feel like I could have prevented it, if she died because of her thyroid. God, I just feel horrible about it. Mom's already talking about wanting a new cat, but I don't want a new cat. Not now, anyway. Christ, we don't even know for sure that she won't come home yet. She's all "You two (Corinne and I) are in denial. She's not coming home." and it's like, let me have my denial then, would you? Damn, wait a couple months and give me time. Back off.
( Aside from missing my cat and feeling sad about it though, I'm feeling better today than most of the rest of the week. )
I'm still hoping she'll come home, but Mom's totally given up hope now, basically. It's been four days. She did this sort of thing when Mickey was here, but she never used to, otherwise. It's not normal for her. I kept worrying over her lately too, because she's old, you know? Everytime I'd see her sleeping, I'd double check to make sure I could see her belly rising and falling, and that she was breathing. I don't know, it would be hard enough having her die now of old age (like, the thought that she's never coming back is so upsetting. I don't think people who haven't grown up with the same, one pet, could understand. Knowing that pet is there, every day, as a reliable source of happiness. Having their unconditional love, the way they purr--or wag their tail, in a dog's case--when they're happy, all of it. Just seeing the Christmas tree, and thinking that I won't be seeing her lie under it this year, won't be seeing her act like a kitten and start playing with the wrapping paper and bows on Christmas Eve, it's just too much.), but it's so much worse, because I feel like I could have prevented it, if she died because of her thyroid. God, I just feel horrible about it. Mom's already talking about wanting a new cat, but I don't want a new cat. Not now, anyway. Christ, we don't even know for sure that she won't come home yet. She's all "You two (Corinne and I) are in denial. She's not coming home." and it's like, let me have my denial then, would you? Damn, wait a couple months and give me time. Back off.
( Aside from missing my cat and feeling sad about it though, I'm feeling better today than most of the rest of the week. )
(no subject)
Dec. 18th, 2002 09:23 pmSo, I'm watching the finale of TAR, right now. It's only actually the second time I've really sat down and watched it, this season. I'm always working, when it's been on. I hope Flo doesn't win, man. That name so suits her. If she ever gets any nieces or nephews, she'll be Aunt Flo. Heeeee. What a bitch.
Good Lord, I want to beat her with that paddle. Bitch, I would love to go to Vietnam and paddle around, and go on train rides! Quit your whining!
Good Lord, I want to beat her with that paddle. Bitch, I would love to go to Vietnam and paddle around, and go on train rides! Quit your whining!
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Dec. 18th, 2002 10:50 pmAllie, I'd like to officially thank you for the biggest laugh I've had in ages. That falling out the second story window post? Oh, man. It never stops being funny.
TAR is ending now, I can't believe that whiny beeyatch won! So not right. It ended in Seattle, too. Big up to the Pacific Northwest, yo! Hee. Westsiiyeeedah! But, dude, they should've come to Portland. We're better! Hee. I got a kick out of them catching the cab with the CrapDonalds in the background, because when I went to Seattle with my best friend Emily in the eighth grade (I've been there thousands of times, but it just reminded me of this trip, specifically), we went through so much, trying to find a fuckin' McDonalds up in that city. We ended up just giving up, because people were all "Lookin' for fast food, eh? Well, there's a McDonalds, but it's way beyond walking distance. Is there a bus? Ha!" Stupid, inconvenient Seattle. Get a better transit system, Seattle! And put some damn fast food joints in the center of downtown! Chop, chop!
The way people from Seattle and Portland act toward one another is kind of funny, it reminds me of sibling rivalry. My friends from Washington, growing up, were always in like a competition with me, to prove which state was better. But at least we can bond in our love of mocking California. Hee.
TAR is ending now, I can't believe that whiny beeyatch won! So not right. It ended in Seattle, too. Big up to the Pacific Northwest, yo! Hee. Westsiiyeeedah! But, dude, they should've come to Portland. We're better! Hee. I got a kick out of them catching the cab with the CrapDonalds in the background, because when I went to Seattle with my best friend Emily in the eighth grade (I've been there thousands of times, but it just reminded me of this trip, specifically), we went through so much, trying to find a fuckin' McDonalds up in that city. We ended up just giving up, because people were all "Lookin' for fast food, eh? Well, there's a McDonalds, but it's way beyond walking distance. Is there a bus? Ha!" Stupid, inconvenient Seattle. Get a better transit system, Seattle! And put some damn fast food joints in the center of downtown! Chop, chop!
The way people from Seattle and Portland act toward one another is kind of funny, it reminds me of sibling rivalry. My friends from Washington, growing up, were always in like a competition with me, to prove which state was better. But at least we can bond in our love of mocking California. Hee.
(no subject)
Dec. 18th, 2002 11:17 pmMy head hurts. And my ear won't stop popping! Make it stop! Hey, period? If you could like, gee I don't know, END, that would be great. Thanks.
( I love me some surveys! )
( I love me some surveys! )