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Why can't 7-up be magically delivered?
Jan. 13th, 2011 03:35 amI think I have the flu. Or got cursed by a witch doctor. One or the other. Either way, I feel pukey--which makes sense, considering I actually was, not too long ago.
(sorry for the tmi)
I really, really don't feel good. And I can't sleep. NOT COOL, BODY.
Why I feel the need to complain about it here, I don't know. Probably because of the aforementioned inability to sleep, boredom, and the annoying acidy stomach pain (and head/ear pain! Whyyy) that's turning me into a whiny 4 year old. ARGH. I need distractions. And someone to come rub my tummy & sing "Soft Kitty" to me.
That's the name of the song, right?
And here I thought I only felt lightheaded & pukey earlier because I hadn't eaten. Believe me: eating *backfired*. Or, y'know, not eating enough to begin with backfired, and now my immune system's pissed. Hard to tell. Whatever. Aunt Flo's visiting too, so this whole thing could just be a clusterfuck.
All right, I'm done whining now. Except I will add that the song on Parenthood last night made me cry (really touching), Lydia on Southland still kicks ass ("I'll show you a bitch, bitch!"), and ONE MORE WEEK 'TIL BONES, Y'ALL.<--definitely warrants caps
And as for how I'm feeling emotionally, "distant" & "descending" would probably be the words I'd use to describe the negative aspects--like everything is far away & I'm quietly sinking--all while holding onto a rope, unwilling to just let myself go. I still make conversation with the people standing nearby (we're being metaphorical here), still think of ideas & plans for the future--like eventually I'll climb out of the mud--and get angry at myself for not pulling my weight up harder. But my arms are tired; my body is tired. I just want a break. From feeling, from thinking, from traffic, from noise, from crowds, from obligations, from food, from money, from jobs, from unemployment, from being awake, from decisions, from thoughts of SI, from everything. I know I need to start small, but when everything feels so big, where do you even begin? I can't even afford therapy right now. When I go outside, I just want to go right back in. It's making it harder to motivate myself to go to the store right now. I feel like I need someone to just, like, slap me, and then--like in the movies--I'll suddenly regain my senses. Tada.
Ughhhh. Whatever. This is just a worse/different version of things I've been through before. I will slap myself if I have to. In the meantime, here's a Vid of the Day (by Tabitha78onLJ) to distract & cheer myself up. Hopefully it'll entertain you guys too.
(sorry for the tmi)
I really, really don't feel good. And I can't sleep. NOT COOL, BODY.
Why I feel the need to complain about it here, I don't know. Probably because of the aforementioned inability to sleep, boredom, and the annoying acidy stomach pain (and head/ear pain! Whyyy) that's turning me into a whiny 4 year old. ARGH. I need distractions. And someone to come rub my tummy & sing "Soft Kitty" to me.
That's the name of the song, right?
And here I thought I only felt lightheaded & pukey earlier because I hadn't eaten. Believe me: eating *backfired*. Or, y'know, not eating enough to begin with backfired, and now my immune system's pissed. Hard to tell. Whatever. Aunt Flo's visiting too, so this whole thing could just be a clusterfuck.
All right, I'm done whining now. Except I will add that the song on Parenthood last night made me cry (really touching), Lydia on Southland still kicks ass ("I'll show you a bitch, bitch!"), and ONE MORE WEEK 'TIL BONES, Y'ALL.<--definitely warrants caps
And as for how I'm feeling emotionally, "distant" & "descending" would probably be the words I'd use to describe the negative aspects--like everything is far away & I'm quietly sinking--all while holding onto a rope, unwilling to just let myself go. I still make conversation with the people standing nearby (we're being metaphorical here), still think of ideas & plans for the future--like eventually I'll climb out of the mud--and get angry at myself for not pulling my weight up harder. But my arms are tired; my body is tired. I just want a break. From feeling, from thinking, from traffic, from noise, from crowds, from obligations, from food, from money, from jobs, from unemployment, from being awake, from decisions, from thoughts of SI, from everything. I know I need to start small, but when everything feels so big, where do you even begin? I can't even afford therapy right now. When I go outside, I just want to go right back in. It's making it harder to motivate myself to go to the store right now. I feel like I need someone to just, like, slap me, and then--like in the movies--I'll suddenly regain my senses. Tada.
Ughhhh. Whatever. This is just a worse/different version of things I've been through before. I will slap myself if I have to. In the meantime, here's a Vid of the Day (by Tabitha78onLJ) to distract & cheer myself up. Hopefully it'll entertain you guys too.
