I'll be someone who won't be forgotten

[rachg82]

-So, guess what I did? Took a nap on Tuesday & slept through my doctor's appointment, that's what. Go, team! I need to stop doing that. Last night I managed to actually sleep at a semi-normal time (well, 6:30 am to 11:30 am. Better than noon to night!), but then I took a nap around four something & didn't wake back up until close to midnight.

-Before my nap, I spent the afternoon with crabbytreehouse. I'd been craving breakfast food hardcore lately (thanks a lot, Food Network), so we walked to Shari's & grabbed something to eat, then came back to my apartment & chatted for a while. I had orange juice, which is a no-no per my acid reflux, but God, whatever--sometimes I just want some juice, stomach! Deal with it!

-Bones isn't having its Fall premiere until Nov. 3rd, y'all. I'm having X-Files flashbacks. Hopefully this means we'll get a Christmas baby, though.

-I'm having one of those times when I don't know what I'm feeling -- like when you go to pick a "mood" for your lj entry & just sit there at a loss, like, "What IS my mood?" I think there's some sadness in there, but I don't know why. I'm not sure if it's my uncle's death, the email my sister sent, being reminded of my friends from last year while talking to Deiva today, or what. There's some aimless nervousness in there too, which might be over worrying about getting a job I won't hate, or even simply from my GAD & influenced by nothing-type shit like "Oh, I still need to do laundry. And I'd better call my aunt again, since I said I would in my message. And I need to finish my fic, already. And my trash is full. And and and…"--you get the idea. Sigh, whatever. I'm just gonna try to let it be. Parts of me DON'T feel sad & nervous, but I guess that's okay? Moods can be complicated? And I don't need to "figure out" & "fix" the parts that are feeling bad, because sometimes it's OKAY to feel bad when there are reasons? IDEK.

-Still rewatching Arrested Development on Hulu. I kinda wish I had a cornballer.

-Okay, I just figured out, yes, I am feeling sad. I mean, not overwhelmingly so, but it's there. I think, y'know, it's not even just about my uncle being gone--although it IS about that too--but it's also about the issue of loss. There was already so much of it last year, as well as the beginning of this year, and losing yet another person now is kind of touching on that for me. I also think having something to be sad over right now is somewhat stress-inducing, because I just honestly don't want to be sad about anything anymore. I'm tired of it. But I know this is just one of those things you have to allow for.

-I feel like I might have more to say, but I don't know what. I'm gonna try to work on my fic now, hopefully make a bit more progress, assuming my funky mood doesn't serve as a writer's blocky douchewaffle. We'll see.

For my VotD, here's a music vid from one of my Hot 26 chickadees:

Comments

[gina227.livejournal.com]

Oh I loooove O.J. but the acid kills my stomach and there's that little matter of not having a large intestine so, uh . . . it can irritate other, er, areas as well. Upon exit. If you know what I mean. Anyway, my point (and I do have one besides over-sharing) is to ask if you've ever tried Tropicana's Low Acid OJ? That rarely bothers my stomach, especially if I also eat with it.

when you go to pick a "mood" for your lj entry

Ugh, so stressful! How am I supposed to pick just one? Plus, you know, with the whole ADD thing going on, I can change my mood 17 times between picking a mood and hitting POST.

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

I've never tried that kind, but I rarely have a hankering for orange juice anyway. I sometimes crave it when I'm at a restaurant having breakfast food though.

My issue isn't my mood changing--it's usually that it's either sort of numb or multiple things at once (like, "I'm sad about this, but I feel okay about this…and I just watched a TV show that was funny, so I guess I'm amused, but I'm also annoyed by my upstairs neighbors making noise, & bla bla bla, etc"). I end up feeling like I should make a pie chart to determine which emotion takes up the biggest percentage, ha.

[torigates.livejournal.com]

I am so bummed about Bones' late return. WTF!!!!

[tempertemper.livejournal.com]

I'm OK with it now - I think I'd rather wait and get eps up to Christmas than a huuuuger hiatus and no Christmas ep possibility. Gonna be tough waiting that long though!

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

Fortunately I'm used to this sort of thing, thanks to years of X-Files viewage.

If it means a shorter hiatus mid-season, I'm cool with it.

[tempertemper.livejournal.com]

Christmas baby, yes please! I so want that happy xmas thing for Brennan!!

*hugs* for the sadness, my bb ♥

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

A happy Christmas ep for Brennan will probably make me bawl, but in a good way. I really want that for her as well. If Zooey could show up again too, I'd flip my lid. I know it probably wouldn't happen, but you never know! At the very least, I want Max & Russ to show up. And Hank!

Thanks. :)

[tempertemper.livejournal.com]

I read that they wouldn't be doing the same standard thing as they did for Hodgela so I'm hoping for some odd Max catching the baby moment or something LOL :)

Yeah, I'm going to bawl for her too! (Because I have decided it's definitely happening ;)

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping for some odd Max catching the baby moment

Ew, God, no! Haha. Fathers are not meant to see their daughters' cha chas (*unless they're changing their diaper, hee)

I'm relieved they're consciously taking a different approach to BB's pregnancy/labor though. Hodgela's was a bit too sugary sweet. I may want a happyhappyjoyjoy Christmas ep, but no "your whole life vibrating with me" stuff. Heh.

[tempertemper.livejournal.com]

Yeah maybe you have a point there O_O

I may want a happyhappyjoyjoy Christmas ep, but no "your whole life vibrating with me" stuff. Heh.

YES. I too left that scene with an urgent need to find my toothbrush so ITA. Something more befitting of BB - as long as they both look a little weepy-eyed I'll be happy ;)

[nomnivore.livejournal.com]

Sigh, whatever. I'm just gonna try to let it be. Parts of me DON'T feel sad & nervous, but I guess that's okay? Moods can be complicated? And I don't need to "figure out" & "fix" the parts that are feeling bad, because sometimes it's OKAY to feel bad when there are reasons? IDEK.

I think letting it be is a good idea. I struggle with that too. I'm often trying to figure out my moods, but sometimes they just are. I think one of the things I've learned is that moods can't kill you, and they will pass.

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's counter-intuitive for me, because my instinct is to solve them like a puzzle so I can make them go away/get better. And I mean, you do want to learn to listen to your feelings & thoughts (and know how to dispute illogical stuff), which includes being able to identify what those feelings are in the first place, but it's not always so simple & you don't want to work yourself into a fruitless frenzy.

[huh920.livejournal.com]

Hope you are OK bb! Moods are complicated. You can feel a lot of different ways.

About the Bones late return I'm Ok with it. LOL. I'm really going to miss it though.

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

I guess at least it gives everyone more time to get into new shows & write fic! I'm hoping it means a shorter hiatus, come January.

[huh920.livejournal.com]

YES TO a Christmas baby too! I would love that.

[rachg82.livejournal.com]

Yessss. Then we can go back & watch the s1 xmas ep again & get all verklempt over her ~journey~. She's not alone anymore! Sniff.