Do it for the kids
Oct. 22nd, 2011 09:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rachg821. I wrote up a to-do list this weekend (I'm calling it my "stress list" for now, heh), but I haven't gotten super organized yet with working out when I'll tackle each thing. I think I'll ask my counselor for help with that. I have at least crossed a couple things off so far, though. I did the dishes (already need to do them again, but whatever. That's life when you stop eating out every day), finished a load of laundry (many more to go--I want to clear the boxes of crap off my bedroom floor & donate old stuff, etc), took a shower, & completed my online FAFSA application for student aid. Tentatively, I think I'll plan on trying to go see an advisor on Monday, and I will probably set aside at least some time tomorrow for grocery shopping & job-related matters, most likely just filling out a profile on care.com to start & then seeing how I feel about applying for anything after. I've been having an uber hard time getting myself to start anything lately, or go anywhere, so it's slow-going. I mean, my anxiety's been pretty damn intense over the last few evenings, ngl. But I'm happy with myself for at least getting the FAFSA application done. I think that's important.
On a similar note, I'm going to give myself a pat on the back for attempting not one, but TWO new things in the kitchen yesterday. I still had potatoes from the food pantry as well as eggs--and while eggs are one of the things I'm sensitive to (on the "low" list), I really wasn't up to dragging myself to the store to buy new stuff with the SNAP benefits yet--so I watched a couple YouTube cooking vids & then made myself some tacos with fried potatoes, scrambled eggs, & cheese. I've never cooked anything with potatoes before (unless you count instant mashed potatoes, which you probably don't, heh), and same goes for eggs (unless you count adding them to baking mixes).
I struggle really badly with recipes that call for too many things to be juggled at once, especially if I don't have specific timelines for when I need to do each thing, plus I tend to put a LOT of pressure on myself to get things right, so I was already feeling wicked on edge before I even began. But it helped when I reminded myself that, y'know, no one else is here -- no one is going to get on my case if I screw up. It's not like how it used to be when I lived with my family, getting mocked or criticized or yelled at for every tiny thing. It's okay to be uncoordinated & spill things, it's okay to accidentally finish one thing way before another, it's okay if it takes me a hundred years to peel & slice potatoes, it's okay to need to look at directions over & over, it's okay to be anal about measurements, it's okay to overcook something when I'm being paranoid about undercooking it, it's okay if it ends up gross even. Fortunately, it didn't end up gross, but that's not the point. The point is I tried. And it is hard, because I did internalize a lot of how I was treated by my family over the years, so it's not easy for me to be patient with either myself or the process when it comes to things like this.
2. Thanks to a number of you, I've begun watching Revenge.
-So, what's the deal -- is Lydia dead for sure? Because I swear I saw her eyelids flutter after hitting that car. And yes, I know. Detail-oriented much? It's how I roll.
If she is dead, that puts a major buzzkill on my burgeoning Lydia/Victoria feelings. Dang it.
-Speaking of shippy feelings, I might be shipping Victoria & the security dude too. The fact that he's a lady-killer, *literally*, should probably give me pause, but…ngl, it totally doesn't. Ha. Their dynamic reminds me of DeWitt/Dominic on Dollhouse. Just think of all the BAMF-y things they can plot together.
-Have I mentioned I've had a crush on Madeleine Stowe for about a hundred years now? Ever since the mid-'90s. Mmm.
-Everyone on my flist talks a lot about what a wackjob Emily is, but I think the show works because she's not the only one. Seriously, they're all horrible people, minus maybe one or two. And it's awesome. Heh. It's bringing me back to my old school Melrose Place days. Yeah boyeee.
3. I got season 1 of Psych from the library today. I'm feeling very--wait for it--PSYCHED to watch. Ahaha…ehh. Sorry about that. Heh.
4. I wish I could afford a haircut. Mine is way too long right now, like at least five inches past my shoulders. Such a pain. Also a pain? The psoriasis that's made a reappearance on my scalp as of late. UGH.
5. This entry seems like it's missing something, but whatevs, I want to go watch my DVDs. So. Time to wrap this up.
day 01 - your favorite song
day 02 - your least favorite song
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
(Leader of the Pack - Shangri-Las)
This song reminds me of my maternal grandma. There used to be this themed diner my family would sometimes go to, which had cherry cokes (for some reason this was huge to me, heh), mini-burgers, and '50s/'60s music & decor. One day I was eating there with Nanny, and this song came on. Out of nowhere, she started crying, which was not at all common for her. I asked her why, and I didn't get the whole story, just snippets, but I still remember "old high school boyfriend", "tragic", "rebel without a cause", and "James Dean" being somewhere in there. Needless to say I was v. confused. Hee. Especially since she wouldn't have been in high school when this song came out. I remember I kept trying to listen to the lyrics to figure out what they had to do with this boyfriend of hers, and how he was a leader of a "pack" (yes, my mind was straight to wolves), and for years I thought he'd driven a motorcycle off a cliff or something. Good times.
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
(Olympia (Rockstar) - Hole)
I'm using a loose interpretation of "somewhere" here, I know, but this one reminds me of middle school. My best friend and I in 7th grade used to listen to this song all the time, and we felt a silly personal kinship with it because we were all, "Hey, Olympia's not that far from here. She feels our pain." Heh. In reality, I think we all know middle school just about anywhere is a pain.
On a similar note, I'm going to give myself a pat on the back for attempting not one, but TWO new things in the kitchen yesterday. I still had potatoes from the food pantry as well as eggs--and while eggs are one of the things I'm sensitive to (on the "low" list), I really wasn't up to dragging myself to the store to buy new stuff with the SNAP benefits yet--so I watched a couple YouTube cooking vids & then made myself some tacos with fried potatoes, scrambled eggs, & cheese. I've never cooked anything with potatoes before (unless you count instant mashed potatoes, which you probably don't, heh), and same goes for eggs (unless you count adding them to baking mixes).
I struggle really badly with recipes that call for too many things to be juggled at once, especially if I don't have specific timelines for when I need to do each thing, plus I tend to put a LOT of pressure on myself to get things right, so I was already feeling wicked on edge before I even began. But it helped when I reminded myself that, y'know, no one else is here -- no one is going to get on my case if I screw up. It's not like how it used to be when I lived with my family, getting mocked or criticized or yelled at for every tiny thing. It's okay to be uncoordinated & spill things, it's okay to accidentally finish one thing way before another, it's okay if it takes me a hundred years to peel & slice potatoes, it's okay to need to look at directions over & over, it's okay to be anal about measurements, it's okay to overcook something when I'm being paranoid about undercooking it, it's okay if it ends up gross even. Fortunately, it didn't end up gross, but that's not the point. The point is I tried. And it is hard, because I did internalize a lot of how I was treated by my family over the years, so it's not easy for me to be patient with either myself or the process when it comes to things like this.
2. Thanks to a number of you, I've begun watching Revenge.
-So, what's the deal -- is Lydia dead for sure? Because I swear I saw her eyelids flutter after hitting that car. And yes, I know. Detail-oriented much? It's how I roll.
If she is dead, that puts a major buzzkill on my burgeoning Lydia/Victoria feelings. Dang it.
-Speaking of shippy feelings, I might be shipping Victoria & the security dude too. The fact that he's a lady-killer, *literally*, should probably give me pause, but…ngl, it totally doesn't. Ha. Their dynamic reminds me of DeWitt/Dominic on Dollhouse. Just think of all the BAMF-y things they can plot together.
-Have I mentioned I've had a crush on Madeleine Stowe for about a hundred years now? Ever since the mid-'90s. Mmm.
-Everyone on my flist talks a lot about what a wackjob Emily is, but I think the show works because she's not the only one. Seriously, they're all horrible people, minus maybe one or two. And it's awesome. Heh. It's bringing me back to my old school Melrose Place days. Yeah boyeee.
3. I got season 1 of Psych from the library today. I'm feeling very--wait for it--PSYCHED to watch. Ahaha…ehh. Sorry about that. Heh.
4. I wish I could afford a haircut. Mine is way too long right now, like at least five inches past my shoulders. Such a pain. Also a pain? The psoriasis that's made a reappearance on my scalp as of late. UGH.
5. This entry seems like it's missing something, but whatevs, I want to go watch my DVDs. So. Time to wrap this up.
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
(Leader of the Pack - Shangri-Las)
This song reminds me of my maternal grandma. There used to be this themed diner my family would sometimes go to, which had cherry cokes (for some reason this was huge to me, heh), mini-burgers, and '50s/'60s music & decor. One day I was eating there with Nanny, and this song came on. Out of nowhere, she started crying, which was not at all common for her. I asked her why, and I didn't get the whole story, just snippets, but I still remember "old high school boyfriend", "tragic", "rebel without a cause", and "James Dean" being somewhere in there. Needless to say I was v. confused. Hee. Especially since she wouldn't have been in high school when this song came out. I remember I kept trying to listen to the lyrics to figure out what they had to do with this boyfriend of hers, and how he was a leader of a "pack" (yes, my mind was straight to wolves), and for years I thought he'd driven a motorcycle off a cliff or something. Good times.
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
(Olympia (Rockstar) - Hole)
I'm using a loose interpretation of "somewhere" here, I know, but this one reminds me of middle school. My best friend and I in 7th grade used to listen to this song all the time, and we felt a silly personal kinship with it because we were all, "Hey, Olympia's not that far from here. She feels our pain." Heh. In reality, I think we all know middle school just about anywhere is a pain.
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Date: 2011-10-24 01:41 am (UTC)