Time, time, time keeps on slippin'
Dec. 16th, 2011 11:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rachg82-Firstly, a big thank you to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
a2zmom and crystalcazzie for the cards and delicious chocolatey goodness. That was such a nice thing to come home to yesterday.
-All the shows going on hiatus is bumming me out a bit; however, after nearly losing my tv/phone/internet this week, I'm just grateful to be able to see ANY shows right about now. And at least Southland is coming back next month! FINALLY.
-I went to PCC yesterday to see an academic advisor, so of course my luck determined that their office would be closed. I was there on a normal day during normal hours, but it was the ONE weekday all month (aside from Christmas) that they had to be Not Open for some reason. Figures. It wasn't a wasted trip though, because I was able to talk to the financial aid people again, confirm my application has been processed (I had originally been told it could take until late January), and get the appeal form I'll need (they based my financial need on last year's taxes, not taking into account my unemployed brokeitude in 2011. This form would appeal that to see if I can get additional grants). So, now I just need to return that form, approve the loans, talk to an advisor/possibly take placement tests again (if needed), and then decide which classes--and how many classes--to take.
-My counseling appt got rescheduled twice this week (first by my therapist, because she was summoned into court, and then by me because I woke up with a migraine), but when I see her next I think I need to talk through some anxiety stuff that's been peeking back out surrounding school. It's been really surreal going back to that campus the last few times, and it turns out I still have a lot of baggage associated with my experiences there. For one, because of certain memories that took place there (e.g. this one particularly horrible day when Mom screamed at me in the parking lot & utterly lost her shit, the difficulty I had with my social phobias there, various classes I never completed after my panic attacks got bad, etc), but also because of current insecurities & years-old shame that somehow make me feel I'm not "worthy" of even being there, like everyone who so much as looks at me knows it. Which is irrational, but it is what it is. And part of it is the same anxiety I've been trying to work through regarding being around people more again in general, but there's no doubt that some is very school/memory-specific -- otherwise I wouldn't be getting that ~everything in slow-motion~ level of self-consciousness again over something as simple as walking down stairs in front of strangers (which was one of my phobias back then, so).
It's just something I'll have to be aware of & work on while I also continue to make sure I check in with myself about how realistic (or not) my expectations are, re: what I can handle at any given time. I may also sit down to do at least one of my old exposure worksheets before the term starts, since I can sense--without even seriously analyzing anything--that there's like a conga line of Thinking Errors dancing their way through my head whenever I set foot on that campus. Like, I go to use the vending machine or whatever, hesitate because it has a different setup than I'm familiar with, and instantly there's this litany of "EVERYONE'S PROBABLY LOOKING AT YOU & THINKING YOU'RE A BRAINLESS WACKJOB. WHY DO YOU EVEN LEAVE YOUR HOME WITHOUT A HELMET?"-esque abuse. And then I wonder why I feel nervous. *rolls eyes* Not to mention feeling nervous distracts you & adds to confusion. Which then feeds back into the "YOU'RE AN IDIOT, SELF" train of insults. Ugh.
Still, unsettled & shaky feeling or not, I have been doing things I needed up there when I've gone, I have talked to people, and I feel pretty good about that.
-I have an idea for a short story (not fanfic), but part of its premise (an entire community aging backwards) could easily be related to an already existing movie. I haven't seen this movie, mind you, but still. If the inspiration continues, I may write it anyway, but IDK yet.
-Let's wrap this entry up with that meme, y/y?
Psych
It's funny, because I'm not even including the episode that officially drew me in ("Gus' Dad May Have Killed An Old Guy!" from season 1 -- the reference to "Psycho" with the rocking chair and the "Normaaaaan!" had me nearly in tears, I was giggling so hard), but dude, it's not easy to choose when there have already been six seasons worth of eps, and many of them are important, many are funny, and so on. Plus, there's actually a few left that I still haven't seen, believe it or not. But, whatevs, here are my well-loved picks:
"Tuesday the 17th" (season 3)
"Mr. Yin Presents" (season 4)
"Extradition II: The Actual Extradition Part" (season 5)
For vids, I was tempted to pick at least one full of funny clips, but really, if I were to introduce someone to this show, I'd want to showcase not only its humor, but also the entire cast (many of the "funny" vids focus only on the two leads, and how can you leave out Lassie?), plus Gus & Shawn's friendship, and Shawn & Juliet's relationship.
1.
2.
3.
Parks & Recreation
I think this might be the hardest choice yet. Like, leaving out the Megan Mullally eps? The gay penguins? The harvest festival? There are so many memorable episodes. But in the end I just went with the few that stuck out in my mind the most. YMMV, obviously. Though I think "The Fight" is probably a pretty universal favorite. I still can't think of it without laughing.
-"The Hunting Trip" (season 2)
-"Fancy Party" (season 2)
-"The Fight" (season 3)
As for vids -- this isn't actually a show I typically watch many fanvids for, so I had to look some up (and I admittedly got lazy, hence why the first two choices are only clips. Heh). But even so, here you've got Leslie & Ann, Donna & Tom, and finally Ron, April, & Andy. I think I covered my bases well enough.
1.
2.
3.
a2zmom and crystalcazzie for the cards and delicious chocolatey goodness. That was such a nice thing to come home to yesterday.-All the shows going on hiatus is bumming me out a bit; however, after nearly losing my tv/phone/internet this week, I'm just grateful to be able to see ANY shows right about now. And at least Southland is coming back next month! FINALLY.
-I went to PCC yesterday to see an academic advisor, so of course my luck determined that their office would be closed. I was there on a normal day during normal hours, but it was the ONE weekday all month (aside from Christmas) that they had to be Not Open for some reason. Figures. It wasn't a wasted trip though, because I was able to talk to the financial aid people again, confirm my application has been processed (I had originally been told it could take until late January), and get the appeal form I'll need (they based my financial need on last year's taxes, not taking into account my unemployed brokeitude in 2011. This form would appeal that to see if I can get additional grants). So, now I just need to return that form, approve the loans, talk to an advisor/possibly take placement tests again (if needed), and then decide which classes--and how many classes--to take.
-My counseling appt got rescheduled twice this week (first by my therapist, because she was summoned into court, and then by me because I woke up with a migraine), but when I see her next I think I need to talk through some anxiety stuff that's been peeking back out surrounding school. It's been really surreal going back to that campus the last few times, and it turns out I still have a lot of baggage associated with my experiences there. For one, because of certain memories that took place there (e.g. this one particularly horrible day when Mom screamed at me in the parking lot & utterly lost her shit, the difficulty I had with my social phobias there, various classes I never completed after my panic attacks got bad, etc), but also because of current insecurities & years-old shame that somehow make me feel I'm not "worthy" of even being there, like everyone who so much as looks at me knows it. Which is irrational, but it is what it is. And part of it is the same anxiety I've been trying to work through regarding being around people more again in general, but there's no doubt that some is very school/memory-specific -- otherwise I wouldn't be getting that ~everything in slow-motion~ level of self-consciousness again over something as simple as walking down stairs in front of strangers (which was one of my phobias back then, so).
It's just something I'll have to be aware of & work on while I also continue to make sure I check in with myself about how realistic (or not) my expectations are, re: what I can handle at any given time. I may also sit down to do at least one of my old exposure worksheets before the term starts, since I can sense--without even seriously analyzing anything--that there's like a conga line of Thinking Errors dancing their way through my head whenever I set foot on that campus. Like, I go to use the vending machine or whatever, hesitate because it has a different setup than I'm familiar with, and instantly there's this litany of "EVERYONE'S PROBABLY LOOKING AT YOU & THINKING YOU'RE A BRAINLESS WACKJOB. WHY DO YOU EVEN LEAVE YOUR HOME WITHOUT A HELMET?"-esque abuse. And then I wonder why I feel nervous. *rolls eyes* Not to mention feeling nervous distracts you & adds to confusion. Which then feeds back into the "YOU'RE AN IDIOT, SELF" train of insults. Ugh.
Still, unsettled & shaky feeling or not, I have been doing things I needed up there when I've gone, I have talked to people, and I feel pretty good about that.
-I have an idea for a short story (not fanfic), but part of its premise (an entire community aging backwards) could easily be related to an already existing movie. I haven't seen this movie, mind you, but still. If the inspiration continues, I may write it anyway, but IDK yet.
-Let's wrap this entry up with that meme, y/y?
Psych
It's funny, because I'm not even including the episode that officially drew me in ("Gus' Dad May Have Killed An Old Guy!" from season 1 -- the reference to "Psycho" with the rocking chair and the "Normaaaaan!" had me nearly in tears, I was giggling so hard), but dude, it's not easy to choose when there have already been six seasons worth of eps, and many of them are important, many are funny, and so on. Plus, there's actually a few left that I still haven't seen, believe it or not. But, whatevs, here are my well-loved picks:
"Tuesday the 17th" (season 3)
"Mr. Yin Presents" (season 4)
"Extradition II: The Actual Extradition Part" (season 5)
For vids, I was tempted to pick at least one full of funny clips, but really, if I were to introduce someone to this show, I'd want to showcase not only its humor, but also the entire cast (many of the "funny" vids focus only on the two leads, and how can you leave out Lassie?), plus Gus & Shawn's friendship, and Shawn & Juliet's relationship.
1.
2.
3.
Parks & Recreation
I think this might be the hardest choice yet. Like, leaving out the Megan Mullally eps? The gay penguins? The harvest festival? There are so many memorable episodes. But in the end I just went with the few that stuck out in my mind the most. YMMV, obviously. Though I think "The Fight" is probably a pretty universal favorite. I still can't think of it without laughing.
-"The Hunting Trip" (season 2)
-"Fancy Party" (season 2)
-"The Fight" (season 3)
As for vids -- this isn't actually a show I typically watch many fanvids for, so I had to look some up (and I admittedly got lazy, hence why the first two choices are only clips. Heh). But even so, here you've got Leslie & Ann, Donna & Tom, and finally Ron, April, & Andy. I think I covered my bases well enough.
1.
2.
3.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-17 03:06 pm (UTC)I'm really excited that you're going to be able to go back to school. I'm going to tell you what a friend told me (that I promptly ignored, but my dream is that you are smarter than me): Ease into the transition.
One of my students didn't ease in, though, because he found out he'd get more money if he went full-time.
Oh gosh, and you know we need to know what class(es) you decide to take! I AM SO EXCITED.
AND SUCH A NERD.
P.S. For Psych, I would choose The Spelling Bee and American Duos and possibly one of the Christmas eps. Or any of the eps where they change the theme song.
I'm not a huge fan of the Yin/Yang eps because they're so serious and can be sad. I don't like sad Psych!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-18 05:13 pm (UTC)That's probably going to be one of my biggest challenges.
Once I decide on my classes (I have ideas, but haven't registered), I'll def let you guys know. Heh.
I thought the Yin/Yang ep I chose was funny! I loved Mary. *eta: Right there with you though on the xmas eps -- those are always great.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-17 05:36 pm (UTC)I saw the first Parks & Recreation episode last week. I think I'm going to like that show.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-18 05:16 pm (UTC)Ooh, yay, re: Parks & Rec! It gets way better in the second season, too, and then stays good.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-18 01:40 pm (UTC)You have chosen wisely for Parks&Rec, Rach. I don't think I'd be able to narrow down the episodes like that... :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-18 05:17 pm (UTC)I thought forcing myself to narrow down eps & vids like this would be a fun exercise, but seriously, it's ridiculous.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-18 07:14 pm (UTC)I've never seen either Psych or Parks and Recreation, but my dad's friend recommended P&R to me and has given me a copy of season one. Maybe some day I'll get around to watching it.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-19 01:54 am (UTC)P&R is a little meh in the first season, just as fair warning, but it totally turns itself around in the second season & just keeps delivering consistent greatness from that point forward. It's not the kind of show I seek out fanfic for, but I love it.
*eta: Oh, and yes, I ate those chocolates in one evening! Hee.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-19 12:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-19 01:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-19 08:48 am (UTC)At least you were able to see the financial aid people. I'm excited about you going back to study, I really hope it will help.
but when I see her next I think I need to talk through some anxiety stuff that's been peeking back out surrounding school.
I think that's a really good idea. You are worthy of going back to study, and I hope it will be really beneficial to you.
It's just something I'll have to be aware of & work on while I also continue to make sure I check in with myself about how realistic (or not) my expectations are, re: what I can handle at any given time.
I think it's really good you're aware of it, and hopefully you can spot any unrealistic expectations and judgments before they get out of control.
Still, unsettled & shaky feeling or not, I have been doing things I needed up there when I've gone, I have talked to people, and I feel pretty good about that.
That's really good. You should be proud of yourself.