rachg82: (tami scrunchy face)
Effing Christ, my upstairs neighbors are being super loud lately. It's like they're playing catch with furniture or something. And missing. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. Every other minute. I don't even get it.

(of course it doesn't help that the walls are literally thin enough for me to hear one of them vomiting at the moment -- seriously)

ANYWAY, who's in the mood for some meme-osity? I won't be posting my Year in Review or 2011 Soundtrack until it's closer to the end of December, but [livejournal.com profile] bibliodragon recently shared a "first posts of the month" meme, and I thought that looked just random enough to be fun. Out of context subject headings ahoy )

Also, I got tagged by [livejournal.com profile] sonneta today for another meme:

The rules:
1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
3. You have to choose 11 people to tag.
4. No tag backs.

Here are the questions she gave me )

Moving on, I finally attended an ACA meeting again yesterday & even went to lunch with some of them after. I kinda wish I hadn't done the latter though, just because of the money involved + this one lady who kept saying things that bugged the CRAP out of me. Not ACA-related, but more so society-related (hence my subject heading today -- it's from Lewis Black's bit about hearing something so stupid & senseless that you get an aneurysm from it, because you just. can't. let it. go. "If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" Haha). But it tainted the day regardless. Even so, there were a few thought-provoking things I got out of the meeting itself, so that's good. I've had a lot of conflicted feelings about the program & some of the regulars there in general circling my mind ever since though, and I'll probably just have to hash that out with my counselor. The "Thought Train" strikes again, oy.

On a way off-topic note, I read this week that Leverage cut to protect the spoiler-free )

Finally, I'm almost done with my show meme. Only one more entry to go after this. Gilmore Girls and My So-Called Life )
rachg82: (serenity booth)
Title: Abandon
Fandom: Bones
Author: [livejournal.com profile] rachg82
Rating: A squeaky-clean PG
Characters/Pairings: Booth + Papa Booth (not to be confused with Papa Smurf or Papa Doc)
Word Count: 718
Spoilers: Nada (unless you count "The Blackout in the Blizzard," which: c'mon, that was last season.)
Disclaimer: I don't own this show, nor do I own Booth & his daddy issues.
Summary: Game Six of the World Series -- one perfect day in the eyes of a man who never truly got to be a child.

P.S. I knocked this ficlet out over the last couple days, as usual without a beta, so I apologize in advance for any possible craptasticness.

Let him be happy from time to time, and leap over abysses )
rachg82: (serenity booth)
Things that happened today:

1. My sister and I spoke )

2. I spent four hours on a round-trip bus ride to nowhere, a.k.a. Hillsboro. A+, self, for catching the wrong bus AND failing to write down the actual ADDRESS or NAME of the place you were going.

Seriously, if I'd been on time, I would've just looked for a church near that cross-street & figured it out (it was an ACA meeting)--I had directions, just not the damned address/name of the building--but getting on the wrong bus in the first place put me back by like twenty minutes, and I am not at all familiar with that part of town or super comfortable with wandering through it in the dark, clueless. So by that point it was already a lost cause, and I was like, "Fuck it. Let's turn around." SO RIDICULOUS. Ugh.

I'm committed to making it to a Saturday meeting if possible, though (it'll take place downtown, where I'm used to going). I really want to make ACA a priority again, even if I can only swing one meeting a week or one every other week. Just as long as it's at least semi-frequent & consistent. My goal for the next meeting is to share at least once & to stop & say hello to people after, rather than just walking out immediately when it ends.

3. I got out of work at 1:30, but still got paid for the full eight hours (tomorrow & Friday won't be paid, but hey, small favors). Oh, and: my manager gave the okay for me to change my schedule on Thursdays to 7 am - 3:30 pm, allowing me to continue seeing my counselor on a weekly basis. He said it may have to change if it becomes an issue (i.e. an inconvenience to others), but I think it'll probably be fine. At least for now. BIG RELIEF. Like, I was just shy of a panic attack while waiting for his response.

4. This should be included in "things that happened yesterday", but hush: I made gluten-free, egg-free chocolate chip cookies. And my beater broke half-way through, so I had to mix it all by hand, which was a ~big production~, what with the pouting & wrist-flapping & soreness & all (in other words: first world problems). So good, though.

5. I got an early Xmas present from Jen, including season 2 of Community, season 6 of Bones, and a tiny stuffed Yoshi. YOSHI IS OBVIOUSLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART. Hee. But seriously, yay-ness. I have the bestest best friend ever.

For my Vid of the Day, have some random outtakes:

rachg82: (personal slogan)
You know what I really hate? When you actually feel motivated to do things, but your health is all, "NO. DENIED." I have had the same unrelenting migraine since yesterday morning, albeit now on the opposite temple because my brain likes to ~mix it up~. And I mean, my head hurts every day anyway (even if not *all* day), but I'm talking about the kind that straight owns your ass, i.e. the kind I generally only get a couple times a month, fortunately (or unfortunately, I suppose, depending on your perspective. I'm personally grateful for every moment in my life that doesn't include pain). It's receded now to the point of being tolerable as long as I keep the lighting dim, stay in a quiet place, & don't move my head around much, but it's still totally interfering with what I'd LIKE to be doing, and it frustrates me. On top of that, I really need to eat something, but the last thing I want to do is cook or go to the store, plus my stomach is icky feeling anyway.

But I'm not going to complain too much, because at least my SNAP benefits finally got processed. So when I am able to walk to the store, I CAN buy food. I do have a pork chop thawing in my fridge right now, plus potatoes, so I already have a set option for one meal as it is (two if I decide to try cheesy potato tacos, though that doesn't have much protein, and I need protein when I'm fighting a migraine); however, see above, re: the last thing I want to do. Grr, argh. River was right; food is problematic.

Anyway. Enough about that. Here's some other stuff:

-As soon as I feel a bit more clearheaded, probably after I've eaten, I'm going to follow my therapist's advice & write down a list of things I need to do/am worried about/or whatever, and try to prioritize how much I can handle doing at once & when I'll try to do them, etc. Hopefully that will make it easier for me to approach things like uber-overdue bills & job searches. As it stands, I can't even hear a mention of unemployment on TV without tensing up. I may post the list here afterward, or bring it with me to my next appointment, but I haven't decided on that yet. It'd probably be a good idea if I did, though.

-Speaking of my therapist, I had another appointment with her yesterday. cut for rambling )

-There's an ACA retreat up in Washington next month that I'd really like to attend--like a non-summer summer camp for stunted adult children--but I'm not sure yet whether it costs anything (I'm sure it does). Wah. THEY HAVE CANOES.

-We'll wrap this up with some TV/movie talk:

Parenthood )

-Psych )

-I watched a couple documentaries yesterday as well. One was from Current's Top 50 list ("Tarnation"), and the other I just came across randomly while browsing the library ("Finding Normal"). Both were really interesting to watch and well-made, though I'll admit Tarnation left me sad because it touched on a lot of stuff I've been trying to work through lately in regards to my mom's history with mental illness and doctors/hospitals, while bringing up a lot of new emotions & memories too. But it was extremely evocative & something that needed to be expressed. Kind of brilliant, actually. I just couldn't help also feeling like it was somehow incomplete or unbalanced by the end, though maybe that was intentional in its own way as well. Either way, I understand why they put it on the list.

I was totally satisfied by "Finding Normal" though (more than satisfied, really. I pretty much loved it & didn't want it to end. Seriously), despite it being much less flashy & artistic; it's the kind of documentary I'd buy if I had more money, because I can see myself wanting to rewatch it every now & again. I identified with so much of it, not just on behalf of addicts I've known (it's about a treatment/housing program here in Portland & follows both new patients & their mentors -- who are also recovering addicts themselves), but on behalf of myself & the ACA traits I picked up from them. It's like 100% real talk throughout the whole thing, no bullshit. And I love that they manage to take the topic and stay realistic, destigmatize the process of having a problem & getting help, show that not everyone makes it, yet also leave you feeling uplifted by the end. It's just exactly the kind of thing I needed to see.

For those who would like to check out the trailers, voila: Tarnation and Finding Normal.

-Lastly, I got a day behind on my song challenge, so today's VotD will cover two: Days 3 and 4 )
rachg82: (kara scar)
1. I'm feeling lazy at the moment, so rather than come up with a whole new description of my appointment with the counselor today, I'm just gonna copy some excerpts of what I wrote in an email to Jen earlier. As one does )

2. Speaking of emotions though, my mom's birthday is Wednesday. I'm gonna try my best to make it to an ACA meeting this week.

3. The temperature dropped like thirty degrees in the last three days. My flip-flops felt lost in a sea of change. (not really)

I found it pretty amusing though that weather.com had this ALL!CAPS!WARNING! about it the other day, like, "DANGER! RAIN APPROACHING!" And meanwhile Oregon's all, "Whaaaa? Rain? I've never heard of such a thing! For the hills, children! THE HILLS! Damn't, THERE'S NO TIME!"

Okay, so the warning had to do with wind speed along the coast, too, but c'mon. Fifty miles per hour? Chillax with the red font.

4. After some investigation, I remembered that my Playstation isn't compatible with my LCD TV. Sadface. Crash Bandicoot doesn't appreciate this fuckery!

5. With BBC America airing BSG, I've been rewatching eps again. Hence the new icon. For me, Scar is so one of those stealth eps that just seem all ~meh~ upon first glance, but which out of nowhere become one of your faves later on. Then again, BSG seems to have a pattern like that, with some eps being all intense!action!OMG!WHAT and then the rest shifting to introspective!artsy!flashbacks!LEEMO! Hee. Okay, not always quite like that, but Leemo's usually in there somewhere. Point is, it works for me, and I've come to appreciate the slow thinky thoughts eps so much more upon subsequent rewatches.

Since they'll be airing season 3 pretty soon, I figured it'd be an appropriate time for a creepy creeper Leoben vid by mpekowski. Fantastic song, great editing. Enjoy:

Voice Post

Aug. 6th, 2011 07:22 pm
rachg82: (Default)

For those who'd like to do the meme as well, here are the questions:

1) What's your middle name?

2) How old are you?

3) Where are you from? Are you living there right now?

4) Is it cold where you are?

5) What's the time?

6) What are you wearing?

7) What was the last thing you listened to?

8) What was the last thing you ate?

9) What was the last thing you watched on TV?

10) What's your favorite tv show? Why?

11) Quick! Find a book, or something with text on it! Flip to a random page and post the second paragraph's first sentence.

12) What was the last movie you saw? How was it?

13) Do YOU think you have an accent? Where do people in your country speak with strong accents?

ETA: Aha, it was "Dream a Little Dream." If anyone wants to watch it, they can do so here.

Aaand I found the song, too:

rachg82: (serenity booth)
This is for Amy Winehouse, who died at only 27 years old. It's for my mother, my father, my uncle Mark, my cousin Ashley, my good friend Kevin, my ex brother-in-law, and last but not least Kim -- my childhood best friend & would-be sister, whose friendship with me was torn apart after more than eight years because of heroin, pretty much right on my 17th birthday.

It's for all of them and many more.

This doesn't mean I'm more sad over one piece of news than another (my thoughts are with Norway today, that's all I can say), but this one hits home for me in a very personal way. I know it does for many of you as well.

rachg82: (the end (bsg))
1. TNT's advertising + some pimping from [livejournal.com profile] teachlikeroslin got me to check out Rizzoli & Isles a couple days ago. The show itself isn't especially amazing, at least not what I've seen so far anyway, but the two leads? Whoa, nellie. THE SLASHYNESS, CAP'N. I DON'T HAVE THE POWERRR.

I mean, honestly, look at the promo:

Best part? The two top comments:

Hahaha. For real though! I watched two episodes, and by the end I was like "UM, THEY ARE CUTE, AND THEY NEED TO HAVE THE SEX. LIKE NOW, PREFERABLY." I'm just saying.

2. I watched "Islanded in a Stream of Stars" today. I kinda forgot how damned sweet Adama & Roslin are toward the end. I still flail a bit when he talks about "his women." Aww.

3. Got a fic rec for you guys: When the Time Comes by [livejournal.com profile] kungfuwaynewho. I like the idea of Laura having the Opera House visions as a kid, but not being able to fully remember them -- just being left sort of ~haunted~ afterward. It works for me, especially because of how the writer describes it.

4. I attended my uncle's Celebration of Life yesterday )

5. I've been having a lot of family dreams again. In one I got so angry with my mother for insulting me that I grabbed onto her hair & pulled as hard as I could--that was kind of disturbing, the level of anger I felt, even if it was in a dream. In another, I was trying to tell her & my sister again about Joe, about the criminal records I found, and their reaction was just to laugh & belittle the credibility of the whole thing. Then I carried on, like "what about [insert thing here]", one effed-up example after another, and THAT got a reaction. My sister got in my face, upset, but I just kept going. It still didn't matter though. Like, I knew it wouldn't matter. Nothing would change.

Most of the other dreams have been about me finding myself living with them again, stuck in a bedroom COVERED in junk, thinking to myself how I have to get out of there & move back into my apartment but not being able to. Ugh. CUT IT OUT, SUBCONSCIOUS.

At least my dreams are carrying on the weird-ass recurring animal theme though. That's always fun. I fled a Grizzly Bear down a mountainside the other night. I should've tossed it a pic-a-nic basket.

For my Vid of the Day, I'm gonna share one by [livejournal.com profile] chaila43 from a series I've recced here before (the rest of which you can find here). All three are based around the women & mysticism of BSG. This one focuses on Athena & Hera, specifically. I love the song, and the part around the 1:30 mark actually gave me a little chill the first time I saw it. Good stuff.

Voice Post

Jun. 28th, 2011 07:33 am
rachg82: (Default)

For those of you who'd like to check out the documentary I mentioned, here you go:

ETA: I thought I'd found it on YouTube as well, but it's only the first couple minutes (with an option to rent the full movie--I didn't even know you could rent things on YT). Still, if you'd like that link anyway, here it is.

rachg82: (here for laura)
-I'm feeling especially sleepy & lazy right now. What I'd really like to do is plan an evening in front of the TV with pop & snacks, but nooo.

-There's an ACA meeting this afternoon, but there's also one on Monday evenings. I'd have to get ready in a hurry (and pay for a cab) to go to the one today without being late, so I'm kinda tempted to do the Monday one instead. Especially because public transit is more convenient on weekdays.

-I do however want to go somewhere today. I just don't want to rush. I'm thinking I'll make myself a sandwich for lunch, take a shower, and then bus it down to Portland. I can make a pitstop at Forest Park to finish [livejournal.com profile] gina227's photo meme question from way back & then take care of [livejournal.com profile] keenai's by hitting up Voodoo Doughnut. The one downtown is still closed for renovation, but dear God have I been craving their donuts something fierce lately, so I don't even care--I'll go to the NE one. And I can excuse the gluttony by having taken a walk. TADA.

-[livejournal.com profile] teachlikeroslin and [livejournal.com profile] scifi_mel have created their own Hot 25 lists as well, in case some of you missed them & would like to see. You can find them here & here.

-Big-ups to New York, y'all. I'm sure you've all heard the news by now, so I'll just say this: I really needed a big smile this week & they delivered.

-Many of you on my flist are bemoaning the late Fall premiere of Bones this year & wondering how you'll fill your time. Fortunately, you have me, the TV-obsessed oompa loompa who never tires of pimping new shows. May I suggest any of the following? )

-I worked on my fic a bit more last night. It still feels a lot like chipping away at a huge block of granite, but sometimes that's just how it goes. At least there's progress being made, albeit incredibly slowly. I guess on the bright side the longer summer hiatus means less of a hurry for things like this.

-I put a temporary halt to my BSG rewatch after my uncle's death (being at the end of s4, I think most of you will understand why), but I think I'm ready to jump back into it now, once my TV's working again that is. I only have a few eps left. Pretty sure the finale's gonna kill me, but I don't mean that in a bad way. It'll just be emotional because of the subject matter.

Anyway, I'm gonna get going now, before I can convince myself that napping would be a better way to spend the rest of the day.

For my VotD, here's an appropriately themed song:

rachg82: (Brennan special snowflake)
My allergies are going bonkers this morning (itchy, itchy, itchy, itchy, ITCHY nose. Itchy face, itchy hands, itchy everything), I only slept two hours, and I feel utterly barfy. The allergies make sense, since I kept going behind my entertainment center yesterday, trying to figure out my TV, and it's hella dusty back there. The insomnia & nausea can be linked to emotions & their annoyingness. Plus I took a nap yesterday, pretty late in the afternoon, so waking up early this morning isn't exactly ~bizarre~. Still.

Anyway, my TV still doesn't work (part of me keeps hoping it'll magically turn back on), and I have my follow-up appointment tonight at the naturopathic clinic--I'll be able to find out the results of all but the hormone test, which I'll do after my next period--and that'll get me out of the apartment for a while, but there are a lot of pesky hours between now & then. Pesky, nose-scratching hours. (I need to go buy an antihistamine, seriously.)

…and I had to take a break just then, because I did in fact barf. WHAT FUN.

Whatever, back to the entry. (Sorry for all the complaining, btw)

Point is: I'm cranky & bored, too icky feeling to want to get up & clean, and too tired to focus on my fic yet. Hence, more spam for you lovely ladies.

Oh, and btw? Before I get into the final batch of pictures here, I have news: BBC America is now airing Battlestar Galactica. They just showed the miniseries the other day, so if you start watching now you can jump onboard the Awesomesauce Train with me & sit at the cool table.[/peer pressure]

What's that? You want a glimpse as to what you're in for? No problem:

I LOVE THIS SHOW SO DAMNED MUCH, Y'ALL. That vid legit gave me chills.

Okay, enough of that & on with the pictures. These ones are mostly from the '80s, though there's a few from the '90s as well. There's pretty shots of Oregon being pretty, my chubby baby face, and horrendous clothing to get your day started off right with some good ole fashioned schadenfreude. You know you enjoy that.

Come be retro with me & distract me from my boredom with comments )

And that's all, folks. Hope it was fun (and encourages you to post pics of your own. I wish people would do that more, especially old ones). It helped keep me busy long enough for my nausea to subside & my anti-itch cream to do its thang, so that's a yay.

P.S. If they're done with their renovation, I'll try to hit up Voodoo Doughnut tonight for that photo meme question of yours, [livejournal.com profile] keenai. Cross your fingers for me--I really want an Old Dirty Bastard. Oreos, peanut butter, chocolate frosting, NGH.

For my VotD, let me pass on some music-y joy. THIS MADE MY FREAKIN' DAY. Honestly. So great.

rachg82: (dewitt oh no you didn't)
1. Is anyone else but me watching the trial for the Casey Anthony case? I'm pretty hooked at this point, I have to admit. I haven't been watching it the whole time, but I did see the live courtroom coverage today & yesterday, and I caught up on clips from what I had missed online this morning. The prosecution's cross examination of the forensic entomologist today? Dayum. I wouldn't be surprised if he walked out of there limping.

P.S. For those who haven't heard already, Kathy Reichs (yes, that Kathy Reichs) will be an expert witness for the defense, though I don't know when she'll be testifying. At this time, I believe the defendant is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt--not just because of the circumstantial evidence, but because of the forensics--but I'm really looking forward to seeing what she has to say.

2. I got into a musey mojo zone the other night & had a good, long session of fic-writing (up to 1,970 words<--still not much, I know, but at least there's progression), thanks at least in part to a great playlist of songs by Tom Pyrdol. It helped me fall asleep later on my couch, too, after tossing & turning in bed for an hour. Let's hear it for relaxing/evocative tunes!

3. I emailed my resume to that HR chick a week ago & haven't heard back yet. I'm tempted to just walk over in person (maybe she wasn't the right person to contact? I got her name from my friend, not online or anything). We'll see.

4. I'm having kind of a lazy, irritable day. One of those days where you don't want to do anything, look in your fridge/freezer because you're hungry & go "BUT I DON'T WANT ANY OF THIS. UGH!", and are just generally being a whiny baby. I'm probably PMSing, but it might have to do with certain things stressing me out in the background too. There's my nephew's birthday in a couple weeks, for one. There's the "I AM SICK OF BEING UNEMPLOYED, BUT DON'T REALLY WANT TO WORK AGAIN EITHER BECAUSE--CHAAAAANGE," for two. There's me acting like I don't care about my weight when I totally do. There's me being frustrated at myself for procrastinating so many things. And, finally, there's the emotional fallout that comes with reading the ACA book. Some of it is *extremely* insightful & fitting--in revelatory fashion, which is affecting in its own right--but then there's also things that drive me up a wall. I am NOT spiritual enough to want to hear about my ~Higher Power~ every minute, nor do I want to live an "ACA way of life" (what does that even mean? If you're talking about The Promises, fine, but SPELL IT OUT), or be told not to take *any* prescriptions (I'm sorry, but I don't agree that taking an anti-depressant is "self-medicating" for a "so-called mental disorder." UGH), or be told I have to attend meetings regularly (again: what does that mean?) & avoid "intellectualizing" in order to get anything from the program. I understand the benefit of feeling your feelings, and same goes for trying to attend meetings consistently, but the language is just so annoying. Especially when you add the spiritual stuff.

That being said, it's definitely worth reading for the things they say regarding family dynamics in a dysfunctional home--it's all pretty dead on, and even helps you see things you didn't previously (though like I said, it is emotionally affecting, so I find that I sometimes need breaks)--so I can put up with the bits that make me roll my eyes. I wish those parts didn't exist though, because it makes me feel more removed from the process than I'd like. It leaves me feeling oddly stressed; I have to separate what I agree with from what I don't agree with, and yeah. It's just difficult.

5. For my Vid of the Day, how about bringing back the "three songs I'm listening to today"-dealio? Not with the s-theme in this case, but just a few picks from the playlist I mentioned above. enjoy teh pretty )
rachg82: (Booth/Bones holy spirit)
It's amazing how little it takes for me to feel productive these days. But, really, chatting with a couple friends, making a sandwich for dinner here instead of going out to get one (much healthier option), replying to a couple emails, sending my resume to the HR chick my friend told me about*, and calling & talking with both my stepmom AND dad--that's a lot for me.


Plus, I took out trash & walked to the store last night. So, that's good too. Now, if I could just do some laundry--maybe tomorrow--I think that'd make me feel even better. It's definitely not the last of what I need to get done, but it'd put a big dent in my mental procrastination list.

Anyway, this is boring, so on to what we all really care about: television. (heh)

-I rewatched a bunch of Parks & Rec eps last night from the 3rd season. "The Fight" still makes me laugh so hard. I think it might be my favorite. "You're stupid & you're drunk & you're stupid!" Hahaha. The one after that too, though, where Chris changes everyone's jobs around? Also cracks me up. "I'm down to one word a minute & that word is persknickapflop." HEE. I'm actually giggling again right now, just thinking of it.

-I was a little sadface for Natalia not making it into the top 20 on So You Think You Can Dance, but not too much. I do think her sister is better, technique wise, so it was a fair pick. It's just too bad she wasn't slightly better; it would've been nice to have another larger-than-average dancer on there again. I miss Donyelle! It was great to see her get so far though, especially considering what she said it meant to her. I bet she'll come back next year after practicing more, which would probably be ideal for her anyway because then she'd have had some time to learn about managing her diabetes.

I'm happy with the top 20 though--especially with the girls (I really wanted Sasha to get in, along with her sister, so I'm happy she's there at least. I also have been rooting for Ashley since the auditions). Last night's performances were great, and I'm psyched about the format this year. Getting the top 20 format back to start AND having the All Stars for the top 10 is an awesome best of both worlds scenario.

-And finally, because I'm lazy, I'm just gonna copy some chat action here since I already talked about RL stuff and So You Think You Can Dance *and* Bones with [livejournal.com profile] keenai and [livejournal.com profile] huh920 today. Two birds with one stone, whoo. clicky (spoilers for the Bones finale & this week's SYTYCD) )

I still have a couple of those 5 questions memes to do too ([livejournal.com profile] xmaidelx, you owe me questions, missy), along with the rest of the photo meme requests, but don't worry--they'll come. (…that's what she said) I'll probably do a voice post later tonight to answer the first set, assuming I can answer the questions in the time allotted. If not, I'll write 'em out, but I think it's fun to do some of them via the phone. Keep a bit of variety up in this ish.

Lastly, for my Vid of the Day, how about a montage full of great dancing? Oh, SYTYCD, I love you so:

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